Thanks for the responces guys, like always, I really apriciate them. Enjoy. Circus.
The Best Chrismukkah Ever
"So, what's it going to be, huh?" Seth asked me waving a menorah and candy cane in front of my face. "Christmas or Hanukkah?"
"Seth…" I batted the objects out of the way of the TV as I flicked through the channels, "I don't do holidays,"
"Yeah but you're a Cohen now, meaning you have to do the holidays." He smiled at me.
"I'm sensing that." I said, getting up and heading into the kitchen. "You want a soda?" I asked him throwing him a can of Diet Coke.
"Can you please focus?" He asked my placing the can on the side. "I want to talk to you about Chrismukkah?"
"Chrismukkah?" I snatched the candy cane from him and started sucking on it.
"That's right. It's the new holiday, Alex, and it's sweeping the nation."
"Hey guys," Sandy called out to us, "we got the tree." I ran out to the door to see him and Kirsten struggling to bring it in the house. I sat my Coke down and took the tree trunk from Kirsten, following Sandy into the lounge with it.
"Or at least the living room." Seth smiled at us, watching us work. "Real good work guys." He applauded us once we'd set the tree down.
"Couldn't have done it with out you man!" I sighed going back over to my can of Coke.
"I love the holidays." Seth smiled staring, almost maniacally at the tree. "I love them all."
"We didn't really know how to raise Seth." Kirsten told me as she passed me headed to the kitchen.
"Yeah, so I raised myself, and in doing so, I created the greatest super holiday known to mankind, drawing on the best that Christianity and Judaism have to offer."
"And you call it Chrismukkah? Why not Hanumas?" I asked pointing my candy cane at him.
"Because that, my stupid adopted sister, sounds too much like Humus. But just hearing you say Chrismukkah makes me feel all festive." I raised my eyebrow at him. "Allow me to elaborate." He walked over to Sandy still arranging the tree. "You see, for my father here, a poor struggling Jew growing up in the Bronx, well, Christmas meant Chinese food and a movie." He patted him on the shoulder before walking over to Kirsten. "And for my mom over here – WASPy McWASP – well, it meant a tree, it meant stockings and all the trimmings. Isn't that right?" he smiled at her.
"I'm not a WASP." Kirsten defended. "Am I?" she frowned at me.
"Well I am too." I shrugged at her. "Blonde hair, kinda blue eyes… Hitler would have been proud."
"Don't make Nazi jokes in front of the menorah." Seth scolded me, following me follow Kirsten into the kitchen. "Other highlights, of my fantabulous holiday, include eight days of presents followed by one day of many presents. So, what do you think?"
"I don't do holidays. I don't do much of anything involving religion and, or, Hallmark." I shrugged at him, making my way to sit back down in front of the TV.
"No way. You're a Cohen now!" Sandy said.
"Yeah Seth reminded me earlier with visual aids." I nodded at him, holding up my half finished candy cane.
"Hey, dip a toe in the Chrismukkah pool. There's room for all of us." Seth smiled at me, sitting besides me on the couch, squeezing my knee.
"Isn't there something in the Atwood family tradition that you would like to incorporate into Seth's uber holiday?" Kirsten asked me.
"You met my mom." I sighed at her. "And you read my dad's and brother's files." I told Sandy.
"Well, this year will be entirely different." Sandy smiled broadly.
"New memories. It'll be great." Kirsten told me.
"Oy humbug."
"See man," Seth smiled at me, "you're Jewing it up already."
"Which by the way," Sandy smiled, "is how Moses refers to it in the Torah."
"Religion and Hallmark," I sighed walking past them all to my room, having given up on finding anything to watch on TV, "I'm doomed."
"I was in the shower for five minutes," I sighed at Seth watching him wrap presents on my bed, "why is my room now Santa's workshop?"
"I see someone took down the wreath I hung on the door." He replied, not looking up from his wrapping.
"It was the Grinch. He wanted to steel Christmas," Seth looked up at me from the pile of presents, "Chrismukkah," I corrected, "but we fought it out and he made a run for it while I was unconscious. When I came to, the wreath was on the floor."
"From my experience, lying works better when its shorter."
"Get out of my room." I told him as I flicked through my CDs trying to find something to listen too.
"I just have to finish wrapping these two Seth Cohen starter packs." He turned round and smiled at me. "Holy baby Jesus you're in a towel."
"Yeah," I nodded, "now get out." I cranked up the music on my stereo, grabbed Seth by his collar and pulled him off my bed and out of my room.
"She's just so angry and violent at the moment." I stopped walking into the house hearing Seth's voice and knowing he was talking about me.
"This is why I think her talking to someone would be good for her." I shut my eyes as once again I was forced to overheard Kirsten talking about how I needed help. This was the first time she'd aired her thoughts to anyone other than Sandy though. "She seems to have taken this break up with Marissa really hard."
"She takes everything with Marissa really h- hey Alex." Seth smiled at me, stepping away from his mother at the island. "Mom's making a Chrismukkah list." He pointed at the paper Kirsten was doodling on.
"Yeah Alex what's your shoe size?"
"My shoe size is I don't need a shrink." I smiled at her, patting her on the shoulder as I headed to the fridge.
"I think, Mother, that is Alex's cunning way of telling us she heard our conversation."
"You should have been here when she overhead your dad and I talking about lesbian sex." She sighed.
"And that just booked me five years on the cou-" he cut himself off when he saw me looking at him over the fridge door, "not that that's cool, or uncool, I don't know, uh…" he looked to his mother for help.
"Just stop." She smiled reassuringly at him. "What's your shoe size?" she asked me again whilst pointing to the glass cupboard.
"I thought you guys said no gifts." I sighed pouring orange juice into glass.
"Hey I never agreed to that!" Seth said incredibly loudly with panic evident in his voice. "Hey thanks man." He said as he grabbed my glass from my hand.
"Well, we did, as in no gifts for us." Kirsten told me, ignoring her son hyperventilating in the corner.
"Well," Sandy sighed out, walking into the room, putting his mobile into his chest pocket. "Chrismukkah's ruined."
"Ah! Don't even say it, man. Come on. Chrismukkah is unruinable. It's got twice the resistance of any normal holiday."
"Your father just refused out latest settlement offer," Sandy told Kirsten, he too ignoring his son. "He wants to go to trial."
"That's not what he said yesterday. He said that if you met his offer…"
"Yeah, well as of this morning, Ebenezer Scrooge decides he wants to go to court, which means I'm going to have to spend the holidays going through file boxes and preparing for trail. With Rachel out of town…"
"Chrismukkah is ruined." She agreed. "Sooner or later, we will get through a holiday around here."
"Stop it, right now, okay?" Seth pleaded. "Don't give up on the miracle that is Chrismukkah. What is happening to you…? You'll see." He said into his coffee cup, "You'll see, too. You'll all see. You'll all see."
"I think you broke him." I told Sandy and Kirsten.
"I'm not broken, I can never be broken. Not with Chrismukkah on my side."
"I can't believe you dumped Marissa Cooper. I mean you hounded and harassed this girl since the first day you met and after only a few days of happiness."
"One, I neither hounded nor harassed and two, it was more than a few days." I told Seth as we walked through the corridor before school. "And its for the best, she didn't get me."
"I don't get you."
"You don't want to get me." I pointed at him as I opened my locker. "And that's different, I mean you and I are never going to have sex."
"That would be weird."
"Yeah I know," I frowned at him, before shaking my head. "So you spoken to Summer and, or, Anna?" I asked as I shoved books in my locker.
"You're doing that 'And, or' thing a lot at the moment." He frowned at me, leaning up against the lockers waiting for me. "And no, I think they're avoiding me."
"W-why, why would they being avoiding you?"
"What was that?" he pointed at me. "You stuttered, you never stutter. You know something."
"No I don't." I told him quickly, shutting my locker and making a break for homeroom. However, by trying to run away from Seth I ended up bumping into Marissa and Summer.
"Hey." I nodded at them.
"Hey," Marissa nodded back, looking away quickly whilst tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Hey." Seth smiled at Summer.
"Hey." Summer sighed guiltily back at him.
"So where's Anna?" I asked Summer, looking to get away from the horribly awkward silence that had fallen between us. Summer simply glared at me.
"I'm right here." Anna replied coming round the corner. "Wow this is awfully uncomfortable." She nodded round the group.
"Home room?" I asked her.
"Home room." Anna agreed.
We turned to leave but Marissa grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
"Hey." She smiled at me, "Can we talk?"
"Uh, sure." I looked to Anna for help.
"Home room." She told me, walking off quickly to get registered before class.
"Sure." I repeated to Marissa following her into the girls bathroom. "Wow," I checked all the stalls and found us alone, "nobody's kissing."
"What?" she frowned at me before turning to the mirror and reapplying her lip gloss. "We used to hang out all the time, things shouldn't have to be weird between us."
"We used to make out and have sex all the time. Hey." I waved at the freshman who'd just walked through the door. "You want to eavesdrop on anymore of this conversation or you just want the transcript later?"
"Alex." Marissa laughed at me watching the girl quickly leave through the mirror. "Anyway, I think we should be friends. I mean we used to be friends."
"Okay friends." I nodded at her. "I can do that, w-we, we can do that."
"You know you're stuttering right?" She told me, turning round and finally dropping her lip gloss back into her purse. "What you doing tonight?"
"Going shopping at South Coast Plaza with Seth."
"Can I come? As a friend?"
"As a friend." I nodded back at her.
"So she's meeting us as your friend?" Seth frowned at me as we waited for Marissa in the food court of South Coast Plaza.
"Oh I'm a girl, I've already seen through it." I told him. "You have any cigarettes?" I asked him feeling my pockets. "I need a cigarette."
"Yes," he nodded at me, "you and Marissa being friends, its going to be fine."
"You think we could just bail. Go, now." I asked him.
"You need to shop."
"Who are we shopping for anyway?" Marissa asked us, approaching us with a Starbucks cup. "Sorry I'm late, the line was ridiculous."
"So," Seth clapped his hands together, "Chrismukkah shopping, is there any greater thing?"
"You mean apart from everything?" I sighed at him.
"Chrismukkah?" Marissa frowned at Seth and I as we started walking.
"She's having nicotine cravings," Seth pointed at me, "ignore her."
"Chrismukkah?" Marissa repeated following Seth and I into Barnes and Noble.
"Hey," Seth smiled at me walking into my room and plunking himself down in my chair.
"Why bother knocking it you're going to just walk in anyway?" I asked him as I fixed my dress in the mirror.
"You know you're in a dress right?" Seth frowned at me.
"Kirsten wanted me to dress up. Holidays." I shrugged at him.
"So you and Marissa were doing pretty good earlier. Having fun with the whole friend thing. I mean she was totally bonding with you about your whole antiestablishment, punching people and not frowning thing you like doing."
"Is that how you see me? And when has Marissa ever punched anyone?" I asked him, pulling out my pumps from my wicker wardrobe thing.
"Never, but she was bonding with you about it." He pointed at me.
"I see right through it, she doesn't want to be my friend." I sighed, walking into the main house.
"Of course not." Seth agreed, "So have we talked about your problems long enough now? Can we go back to focussing on me?"
"When don't we focus on you?" I asked him.
"Slightly more since you've gone even more into that whole not smiling, antiestablishment thing."
"How come you left out the punching people bit?" I frowned at him as we waited for Sandy and Kirsten in the hall.
"When was the last time you hit someone?"
"I could hit you?" I offered.
"Well you can tell we're going to a party now," Sandy smiled at us, "a fight is brewing."
"Mushroom-leek crescent? Crab and brie phyllo?"
"Do you ever serve different food?" I asked Seth as an oddly familiar guy passed us with a tray. "I mean what's wrong with a good tuna vol au vont?"
"You know you just said vol au vont right?" Seth frowned at me. "Anyway where do you think Summa and Anna will be I want to apologise to them."
"You still haven't done that?"
"Well they haven't really given me the chance what with the avoiding and all. Look," he pointed across the party, "once again they're together. And watch how they walk into the building together. I'm going to follow them." He told me handing me his drink.
"You might not want to do that Seth." I tried to call out to him but he simply yelled back something about camps and capturing flags. "I swear that boy is like seven." I sighed, knowing Marissa had come to stand next to me. "Is that Coke?" I asked her swapping drinks. "I don't actually like champagne."
"Uh, you might not… want to drink that." She finished watching me grimace from the taste of half of Russia in my mouth.
"What did a vodka factory piss of you off or something?" I asked her swapping drinks again. "That tastes like my mother mixed it."
"I don't do well at parties." She sighed.
"I remember. First party we were at together you had a litre of vodka in your purse." I smiled at her. She opened up her bag and showed me the contents. "You going to make me a drink then?"
"I'll be back with half a glass of Diet Coke." She smiled back at me.
"I'd better come with." I sighed, following her to the bar. "On second thoughts I might go track down Seth." I told her as I watched Julie make a beeline towards us.
"Ah Marissa, oh you wore the chenille how pretty, Alex," she paused as she looked me up and down, "you actually look nice, who designed your dress?"
"Are you complimenting me?" I frowned at her. "This is new, I have no idea what to do with this. I'm going to go." I told her pointing into building. "Hey man," I smiled at Seth sitting in the reception area, "what's up?"
"I lost them." He shrugged as I sat next to him. "I won awards at camp Tuckahoe."
"You know that I have no idea what you're talking, right?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "So I know why I'm sitting alone at a party. What are you doing here? Thought you and Marissa were doing that whole friend thing."
"We are, she is, I'm trying."
"Want to try that sentence again with more certainty?"
"Julie complimented me."
"Well this is a surreal turn." Seth nodded at me. "Me having lost two girls because I kissed them, you avoiding Marissa and Julie Cooper, the Julie Cooper, Alex, complimented you."
"If you had predicted this when I first got here I would not have believed you."
"Well you never listen to a word I say anyway." Seth nodded at me.
"This is true." I nodded back.
"Hey guys." Marissa smiled at us. "I have just royally pissed off my mother. Can we get out of here?"
"Not a single one of us is good to drive." I sighed at her.
"Can we at least hide?" She tried again.
"My mom's office?" Seth suggested getting to his feet and leading the way.
"You know what I don't think I've ever been in your mom's office before." I told him as we walked down the corridor.
"I try to avoid it as much as possible." Seth nodded opening the office and flipping on the lights. "Holly Moses of Israel."
I simply grabbed Marissa's purse and sat down on one of Kirsten's couches as I watched Summer and Anna try and explain to Seth why they were making out in the dark, Summer strangely in a Wonder Woman outfit.
"This should be interesting." Marissa told me as she took the open bottle of vodka out of my hand and joined me on the sofa.
"I have been in a lot of situations involving both lesbians and love triangles but this one is new, even for me."
"Maybe this break thing is a good idea." Marissa finally conceded looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Anna's not the only one with sage wisdom." I told her taking back the vodka. "Tenner says Summer leaves first."
"Fifteen says Anna chases after her." Marissa shook my hand.
"And we're quiet." I told the three of them, noticing them all of them looking at Marissa and I with annoyance. "You can go back to your whatever it is you're doing."
"I'm, I'm leaving." Summer said, zipping up her black dress and running out the room.
"Summer." Anna called out after her.
"Good call." I nodded at Marissa.
"I hate girls." Seth sighed, slumping himself down on the floor in front of us, I simply passed him down the bottle of vodka. "I'm swearing off them."
"By the looks of things they're swearing off you." I told him taking the bottle back. "And, uh, boys in general."
"This is low even for me." He sighed, snatching the bottle back. "I don't suppose either of you brough mixer did you." He asked both grimacing and coughing.
"What are you doing in here?" Kirsten asked slamming open the door. "We've been looking for you all evening."
"We were finding Seth's women." I told her trying to get up and then simply falling back down again. "Wow, that was harder than I had envisioned."
"Where's Seth?" She frowned, her hand firmly on her hip.
"I think he's asleep behind the sofa."
"Marissa?" Julie called, walking in behind Kirsten. "What have you done with my daughter now?"
"How is it that even after we break up everything is my fault?" I asked her trying to stand up again.
"You broke up?"
"Yes." I nodded at her, leaning on the desk for support.
"Car, now." Kirsten pointed out of her office door.
"Gone, going, trying." I told her, tripping over Marissa's shoe and landing flat on my face.
The sunlight blaring through my many glass panels woke me up. I instinctively drew my covers over my head and tried to get my head to stop pounding. My overwhelmingly full bladder, however, forced me out of my bed and forced me to acknowledge not only the new day but the blinding sunlight.
I came out of the bathroom, with less in my stomach than when I had entered it, and found Sandy sitting in one of my chairs.
"Sixteen."
"What?" I frowned at him, "Are those painkillers?" I pointed to two white tablets sitting on the table next to him.
"Yes," he pushed them to the side though, "you can have them after we've talked."
"Sixteen what?" I asked him, sitting back down on my bed.
"Years old." He told me, sipping from his coffee. "What the hell are you and Seth drinking like that?"
"I don't deal well with holidays." I told him, looking anywhere in room but at him.
"And drinking until you pass out is going to solve that. Seth's still sleeping it off." He told me pointing into the house.
"If you're going to give me the speech where you tell me I'm corrupting Seth… Kirsten already gave it to me." My arms were folded and I was suddenly standing.
"Actually I'm giving you the speech where I'm here to tell you that Marissa Cooper is corrupting you."
"What?" I frowned at him.
"With everything you went through with your mom-"
"Don't, I'm not talking to about it." I told him. "You think you know because of all your years in the PD's office, you don't know shit about living with an alcoholic homophobic mother who beat you."
"No I don't." he said, joining me standing and passing me my pain killers. "Which is why as part of your punishment you are going to agree to going to counselling."
"I don't need a shrink." I told him, taking his coffee so I could swallow my pain killers.
"After all you just shouted at me, do you really believe that." Once again I was forced to look away from him. "Besides, if you ever want to leave this house again, you're going."
I sat in the reception area of the Wellbeing Clinic flicking through magazines and forced to listen to the insufferable tones of what could only be described as 'elevator music'. After going through all the pile of magazines and finding not a single one with even the slightest mention of music in them I finally gave up waiting for my appointment.
"I came here three times before I actually walked through that door..." I looked across the room and found boy looking back at me, "I know you, you go to Harbour, right?"
"Everyone seems to know me. You go there?"
"No I go to Pacific," he held out his hand, "Oliver Trask." I ignored it and went back to heading for the door. "For someone that knows a lot of people you don't seem all that friendly."
"I don't know people, people know me." I told him, looking for the receptionist so I could tell her I was leaving.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked me, closing his book and putting it on the table besides him.
"Nothing." I told him simply.
"Then one might suggest you're in the wrong place?" I simply glared at him. "Okay," he smiled at me, "you're not an alcoholic… you're not the type to be suicidal… your outfit shows me that you're not a cutter…"
"You going to psychoanalyse me all afternoon?" I asked him, ringing the bell for the receptionist. "I mean I have things to do, a life to lead."
"That's why you're here." He said, standing up and joining me at reception, "You're depressed."
"You just listed three symptoms of depression." I smiled at him, an eyebrow raised. "And yet told me that I didn't suffer from any of them."
"Alex Altwood?" The boy and I spun round and found a middle aged woman leaning on the doorframe to her office.
"So you going in?" he asked me.
"Do you ever stop talking?" I asked him, walking into the doctor's office.
I sat down on a square leather chair and watched her sit down on the sofa opposite. She pulled out the pen from behind her ear and started to note on her clipboard without me even having said a word to her.
"So," she smiled, looking up from her notes, "why do you think you're here?"
I sat there in silence, staring out the window simply thinking about that question. There were so many answers I could give her, none of them likely to bare any semblance of the truth. After a while I told her about my mother, I talked about my father and brother's love of stealing things, I told her about jail, about Sandy, the Cohens and Newport. Eventually I told her about Marissa, I told her about Luke, I talked to her about high school.
"What you doing now?" the boy asked me when I emerged back into the waiting area. "You want to get a drink?"
"I hate to sound like Will Hunting but," I smiled at him, "I'm sorry but I have to go and see about a girl."
"Hey Mr C," I smiled at Jimmy when he finally opened the door after rapping on it for like two minutes solid. "Is Marissa in?"
"Sure. Marissa!"
"What is it Dad?" She frowned at me, before seeing me standing at the door. "Hey." She smiled at me.
"So I'm going to go stand somewhere that isn't here." Jimmy nodded at us.
"You fancy going down to the beach," I smiled back at her, "the tide's about to change."
R&R, thank you. Circus.
