The Lies We Tell
"It was nothing." I told Seth as I poured myself a cup of coffee. "We just went down to the beach and made out."
"When do you ever just make out with girls?" He asked me. "If one of us is getting laid I feel we should celebrate this fact, or at least talk about it." Seth shrugged, sipping from his coffee.
"Have you ever had sex?"
"Define sex." He frowned at me.
"Something you are not going to be having until you are thirty or your mother will kill me." Sandy told him as he walked over to the coffee pot.
"Why am I killing you?" Kirsten asked Sandy walking into the kitchen and taking the coffee he'd just poured.
"Have you noticed how this always happens in the morning?" Seth asked me, pointing as his mother's confusion.
"You think we'd have learnt to either talk in the pool house or at least wait until both your parents are in the room to start." I nodded.
"Well you're in a good mood." Sandy smiled at me. "You have a new girl?"
"Actually its an old girl." I told him, taking the bagel he'd just smeared.
"She's eating breakfast," Kirsten pointed at me eating Seth's bagel, "she's sleeping with Gabrielle again."
"You knew about that?" I frowned at them.
"Yes and it was oddly disturbing for all parties involved." Sandy nodded.
"I can't believe she's back in town after running off with six grand of my father's money."
"She's not, its not her." I told them, finishing my bagel half and sitting my coffee cup down. "Its Marissa." I said quietly, trying to leave for my room.
"Whoa." Sandy put a hand on my chest and pushed me back, "Not so fast, you can't just walk out of here after telling us you're seeing your ex-girlfriend."
"I am the way I am for a reason, Alex." Seth pointed at his father and smiled.
"Seth, why don't you go to your room." Kirsten told him.
"Is this an intervention?" I asked them watching Seth leave us muttering about comedy relief. "Cause I'm old enough to pick my own friends, girlfriends, whatever."
"Given your history with Marissa we're not so sure." Sandy said folding his arms.
"Kirsten…" I pleaded to her.
"We can't stop you seeing her, and we're not going to," she smiled at me gently before turning back to her serious stance. "Ten o'clock weeknight curfew, midnight Friday and Saturdays. No Marissa until after your homework is done."
"It's the holidays." I told her, turning back to Sandy to appeal to him, "Don't you think you guys are over reacting?"
"You're still grounded." He pointed at me.
"So now can I go to the pool house?" I asked him, walking out and making sure to slam my bedroom door behind me as loudly as I could.
"I can't believe you took me to see a kid's film for our first date." Marissa sighed at me as we stood on the driveway of my house.
"It wasn't that bad, and besides it had Jodie Foster in it." She simply looked at me, "Okay," I conceded, "but given my grounding and being forced to sneak out; options were not on my side. Besides," I pulled her towards me, "I've always been a fan of spontaneous first dates."
"You risked a lot to take me to a bad movie." She smiled at me before kissing me.
"Well I, I-I, I wanted to tell you, to tell you, that, uh, I-"
"You're stuttering again, you're doing that a lot lately, you know that right?"
"Hey," I sighed, pulling back, "give a girl a break. Its not easy trying to tell someone that you love them."
"You love me?" she frowned, pulling me back towards her.
"I thought that was obvious with the whole tide changing, life risking; Sandy's going to kill me." My hand was at my temple rubbing my eyes before turning to the house to check to see that nobody was up.
"Alex."
"Yeah?" I said turning back to her, just to be pulled into a kiss.
"I love you too."
"Yeah?" I smiled back at her.
"I thought that was obvious with the whole friends thing, drinking and not allowing you to be by yourself during our break up."
"Yeah," I nodded at her, unable to shake the smile from my face, "I saw right through th-"
I was cut off by Marissa's lips once again on mine, her hands desperately feeling my body, her tongue battling with mine.
"You want to, uh," she nodded towards the back yard and the pool house within it.
I simply kissed her quickly once more before pulling her through the yard behind me. I opened my door, with my hand forced behind my back as Marissa turned me round to kiss me once more, the door swung open and banged against the wall, Marissa simply kicked it shut as she continued to kiss me, pushing me down onto the bed beneath her.
"And there was me thinking I was the only girl for you." We looked up and found a girl standing in the doorway of my en suit wearing my CBGB shirt.
"Hailey," Marissa sighed getting up and straitening out her skirt, "what are you doing here, though you were building Churches in Costa Rica."
"Hailey?" I pointed to the girl still leaning against my doorway, "Kirsten's sister Hailey?"
"Yeah," she nodded, "who are you and what are you doing with my girlfriend in my pool house?"
"Your girlfriend?" I asked her, looking at Marissa.
"She isn't my girlfriend." Marissa sighed, tucking a stay piece of hair behind my ear. "She was a stupid affair I had last summer." She corrected Hailey, over pronouncing the word 'stupid.'
"You know what?" I nodded at the girl still leaning against my doorway. "Keep the pool house." I grabbed the blanket from the bottom of my bed and walked into the house, making sure to slam my bedroom door as loudly as I could behind me.
I didn't sleep that night. I sat up in front of the TV; letting it illuminate me in the darkness of the living room but not watching it. My mind was back in the pool house, stuck in the moment where a stranger told me that my girlfriend had done nothing but lie to me.
I was only there because of those stupid counselling sessions. The woman made me talk about Marissa, she made me really examine the relationship when at that point I really just wanted it to go away. I'd been putting it down to a lack of judgement, to her being the first girl I'd seen, to her simply being the bloody girl next door. However, as I kept talking to the doctor, as she nodded along to my story, I realised that the reason that Marissa wouldn't go away was the same reason I was so reluctant to be her friend.
The night was meant to be perfect; I'd managed to escape from Sandy, taken her on the first date we'd never had and told her I loved her. All I had to do was sneak her in and then back out of the pool house… And yet Hailey happened. Hailey, a relative I have never met, told me something Marissa should have told me.
So I simply sat up and watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
I woke up slowly, Kirsten and Sandy trying to figure out the crossword. I pulled the blanket back over my head and tried to close my eyes and my brain out to the world around me. That was until I heard Seth come into the kitchen.
"Whoa separate seats you guys, come on. There's no sex in the champagne room."
"Good morning to you too," I heard Kirsten reply, "where are you going?"
"To wake up Alex."
"She's asleep in the living room."
"No she's not." I told Sandy, getting up and walking slowly to the coffee pot, my blanket wrapped round me.
"Whoa, you look like death." Seth smiled at me. "What were you doing in the family room?"
"Watching MTV2." I told him, passing him my coffee and pouring another cup simply to save time.
"You were agonising?" Seth frowned at me, I simply shrugged.
"How did he get that simply from the TV channel?" Kirsten asked Sandy.
"You have a TV in the pool house though." Sandy frowned at me, ignoring his wife's confusion.
"Yeah well your sister-in-law ruined that." I sighed.
"Hailey's here? You-you saw her you were talking to her or, uh… Did she say why she was here?" Kirsten stuttered out at me as she rung her hands through starting to pace the kitchen.
"Glad to see I'm not the only one not happy about Hailey being here." I sighed, hugging my coffee and my blanket close to me as Sandy talked about money.
"Come on Aunt Hailey is awesome." Seth smiled at me.
"That can be debated from where I'm standing." I told him.
"Hailey's here." Kirsten laughed nervously, taking the milk carton from me and drinking from it.
"Hey guys, guess whose back." Hailey smiled at us.
"I'm guessing its not your suitcases as your still in my clothes." I mumbled taking me and my blanket to find some food.
"H-hello Hailey." Sandy stuttered, studying his paper a little too hard, trying to avoid seeing his sister in law in just my CBGB T-shirt and knickers.
"Aunt Hailey," Seth laughed nervously, "later, when you're dressed we'll hug."
"Seth robe her, now." Kirsten barked at him.
"There you are." He following his mother's orders and handed his dressing gown it over.
"Happy New Year everyone." She smiled as she donned Seth's dressing gown but leaving it open, ruining the point.
"Happy New Year to you." Seth nodded at her, pulling her in for a hug.
"Hi." Kirsten said as Hailey hugged Seth. "We would of come and picked you up," she hugged her, "at the airport or the train station-"
"Or the border." Sandy chimed in.
"Yeah well it was late an my cell phone got shut off." She explained.
"When you ran out of money?" Sandy questioned.
"So your gonna stay with us..." Kirsten asked her, ignoring Sandy's comment. "for some time?"
Hailey simply shrugged as she went over to the coffee pot and poured a cup.
"I'm gonna make up the guest bedroom." She turned to Sandy. "Bedding. Sheets. Now."
"Married seventeen years," he said standing up, "the first things that go are the full sentences, welcome back." He hugged Hailey before following his wife.
"Thanks," she called after him. "Looking good Nephew Seth."
"Thank you, puberty happened." He smiled at her.
"Its only been, like, eighteen months."
"Yeah," he nodded, "puberty happened, be glad you missed it! Oh check this out though," he pulled on the collar of his T to reveal a bit of his chest.
"Oh chest hair and a new friend." She smiled looking over to me in the corner, which I'd situated my self so I could stay out of the 'hello's and eat my cereal in peace.
"Yeah that's Alex she's, uh,… she's kind of a long story."
"Uh-huh," she nodded shooting me a glare as she did so, "so now that your a man what are the New Years Eve plans, got any girls to kiss?"
"Well I had two and, uh, now they kiss each other."
"Isn't every young studs dream, to have girls kiss each other?" She smiled at him.
"That is a good spin," he nodded, "and they did kiss in front of me."
"Well then." She smiled at him. "So what you going to do tonight?"
"I'm gonna do whatever Alex and Marissa do." He shrugged. "What are you doing by the way?" he asked me drawing me into the conversation for the first time.
"Nothing. We're grounded remember." I told him, dumping my bowl in the sink.
"You have no romantic plans for her?" Hailey asked me, a horrible smarmy smile covering her face.
"Sod off."
"That's some language you're new friend knows," Hailey told Seth, not taking her eyes from mine. "She kiss her mother with that mouth?"
"Okay," Seth said slowly, slipping in between us, "going to play referee guy here, before this all turns into a bad 'Yo Mama' joke."
"I'm going to my room. Your crap will be dumped outside it." I told Hailey brushing past her so I could get in the shower and finally change my clothes.
"So you've kicked Hailey out I see." Marissa said, knocking lightly on my open door before stepping in.
"Why, are you here to see her?" I asked her not looking up from my book.
"Can we not go one week without you being pissed at me?" She asked me coming to sit besides me.
"We could if you hadn't lied to me." I shrugged, still pretending to read my book.
"Technically I never lied." I looked over at her. "I just-"
"Look its not big deal."
"Are you being passive aggressive?" she frowned at me.
"I don't do passive aggressive, I do aggressive aggressive."
"Yeah I know, which is why this is weird." She sighed. "I'm sorry I never told you about Hailey." She said after a while of silence between us where I read the same sentence over and over again. "It didn't mean anything, it was just Hailey doing what Hailey does best – having fun, regardless of the consequences."
"And you?"
"I was fifteen and rebelling against my mother, against Newport, against this whole Newpsie society."
"And me?"
"You're something real." She told me quietly.
"I want to be something real." I told her, just as quietly and looking at her for the first time.
"Wow," she smiled at me nervously, "that's it? No jealousy, no can throwing, no threats?"
"I trust you." I said simply. "I sat up all last night watching MTV2 and I've been thinking about it. It makes sense. Given how long it took me to convince you that you had feelings for me; its no surprise that you wouldn't admit to having a lesbian relationship before me." She opened her mouth, I simply put my finger over her lips to silence her. "That is not to say I'm not pissed off."
"So that passive aggressive thing was short lived, huh?" She tried to smile at me.
"I just wish you'd told me." I told her, turning back to my book.
"You're going to get passed this, right?" She asked me taking my book from me to guarantee my full attention, something that she already had – a fact I was simply trying to hide from her.
"I got over the Luke thing didn't I?" I tried to give her a reassuring smile but it kind of back fired. "Anyway, moving swiftly on."
"Please." She relaxed, moving my arm so she could sit in my nook.
"My friends throwing a party tonight." I passed her Oliver's flyer from my bedside table. "What you think?"
"I think your friend has way too much time and not enough Clip Art."
"Oliver's alright." I shrugged. "A little bit weird but that's to be expected."
"Oliver?" She frowned at me.
"Oliver Trask, I met him at counselling."
"You made a friend in therapy?" she frowned at me again. "That's kinda weird."
"How is that weird?" I asked her, taking the flyer back. "Sounds like the kinda thing you would do. But if you don't want to go to the pent house suit of the Four Seasons…"
"Pent house? Four Seasons?" I simply nodded. "Meet you there at ten."
"Marissa and my Aunt Hailey?" Seth paused the game so he could look at me. "Get out… though that does sound like the kind of thing Hailey would do." He conceded. "So that why you were with the whole MTV2 last night?"
"So she didn't tell me, its not that bigger deal is it?" I frowned at him.
"Are you asking me for relationship advice?" he frowned back.
"Yeah this is more of an Anna thing." I nodded. "Pass me the phone. Thanks. What's Anna's number?" I asked him after getting only as far as the area code.
"I'm a child of the 21st Century, Alex, I don't call people."
"This has become so much harder than I though." I sighed, passing him back the phone. "So advice, now, please."
"From what I've seen on the TV you have two ways of going about this," he told me, tapping his index finger on his chin. "You can either go all jealous and moody – a thing you do very well – that will no doubt end up in a second break up in as many weeks. Or you can lie and tell her your fine about it."
"I am fine about it."
"Yeah, which is why you're taking relationship advice from me." He smiled smugly starting up the game again. "But you know I am a little fuzzy on your guys relationship so perhaps you have some photos or video that, or things you-" he stopped talking when I punched him on the arm. "Or not." He said simply.
"That's what I though."
"Why are you guys not dressed?" Hailey asked us, walking in and straight in front of the TV.
"Hey," I pointed at the TV behind her, "we're playing a game here."
"Hey Aunt Hailey." Seth simply smiled at her.
"You told him?" She frowned at me, shutting off the TV entirely.
"Had to tell someone," I shrugged, "next time I'll talk to Kirsten if you'd prefer."
"Hey, hey Aunt Hailey." Seth repeated staring at his Aunt.
"Dude, that's your Aunt." I sighed, hitting him again. "And," I turned back to Hailey, "we were playing that."
"Don't you have like a party or something to go to?" She frowned at me. "What kind of loosers are you?"
"Not winning any friends here." I sighed at her, brushing past her and switching the TV back on. "Great," I sighed, gesturing at to the dead man lying on the ground in the game, "you killed me."
"How do you ever get laid?" She asked me.
"Why don't you ask Marissa."
"Am I going to have to separate you two again?" Seth asked, watching us interact from the sofa. "Look," he stood up and stepped between us, "are you here for Marissa?" he asked Hailey.
"No," she almost laughed, "that was just a fling, it would be like returning to the scene of the crime."
"Do you want me to hit you?" I asked her, appalled at not only her phrasing but her attitude towards Marissa as well.
"Look you and your girlfriend are safe; I was just kidding around." She sighed. "Where did you find her?" Hailey asked Seth not taking her eyes off me.
"Jail." He said simply.
"Explains a lot." She nodded, looking me up and down.
"Standing right here." I complained at the two of them.
"So are the two of you going out or what? Its New Years Eve."
"We just have to wait for Sandy and Kirsten to leave." I explained, sitting back down and starting the game over.
"Well that's something every parent wants to hear." Sandy sighed, as he sorted out his cuff links. "Go on you two," he nodded at Seth and I, "go get dressed you have one night off your punishments?"
"Really?" I frowned at him.
"You can stay here if you want to." He shrugged as Kirsten walked in to the room behind him.
"And we're dressing." Seth said as we both ran to our rooms.
"So you're going for the waistcoat again, huh?" Seth smiled leaning against the hall table as he waited for me.
"I think I work it." I smiled at him. "Can I pull of yellow?"
"The T-shirt is fine," he sighed, "god you're turning into me."
"You guys look hot." Hailey smiled at us.
"Too hot?" Seth asked her, "cause I'm trying to keep a low profile these days."
"What do you think of my T-shirt?"
"'Mischief'?" She questioned. "Try 'Angry and punchy'."
"Well that one was in the wash." I told her. "So, in the spirit of the holidays and forgiveness and all that crap; you want to come to this party?" I asked her.
"Nah I'm gonna… hang out, take it easy, lay low." She told us, opening the door.
At which point a stream of people ran past us and into the house, all clearly trashed already and all in the house for a party.
"Take it easy?" I shouted above the new found noise.
"Lay low?"
"Just a couple of friends." She reasoned as a guy smashed a table lamp and a sofa got turned over and covered in silly string.
"Oh this is not good." Seth told me as Hailey went to join her friends and left us to watch the chaos break out from the hall way.
"Not so much," I sighed. "Coming?" I asked him nodding towards the door.
"You can't go." Seth looked at me panic stricken. "The house will get trashed."
"Will be nice for someone else to be in trouble for a change." I shrugged, heading out to the car.
"Are you serious?" Seth asked me, standing between me and the door.
"There's nothing we can do. You want to tell them they can't have their party?" I asked him, pointing back into the house.
"I was hoping you would do it." He said, looking at me pathetically. "You Atwood's thrive on confrontation."
"What happened to me being a Cohen now?" I asked him.
"You can be a Cohen when the party's over."
"How bout no." I told him, pushing past him and getting into the car. "From the way I see it, you can either tell your Aunt she's not having her party and not get listened to or go to one of your own." I started up the engine. "Coming?" He simply looked at me. "Come on, already, I've got to pick up Anna."
"And I'm staying here." He sighed. "Have fun."
"You too." I laughed, shaking my head at him as I drove off to get Anna.
"What up Holmes?" Anna smiled at me as she piled into the car besides me. "Where's Seth?"
"Trying to stop his aunt, Marissa's ex-girlfriend, from having a party." I told her, speeding off downtown.
"I have no idea which part of that sentence to focus on." She told me. "Ask me where Summer is."
"Where's Summer?" I asked her, turning on the radio.
"Don't ask." She sighed, switching stations. "What?" she smiled innocently when I glared at her, "I don't like that song."
"Where's Summer?"
"She does not wish to pursue her foray into the world of LGBT." Anna sighed.
"I had that with Marissa." I told her.
"What you do?"
"According to Seth I 'hounded and harassed' her until I got her to admit her feelings; I don't like to phrase it like that though." I smiled at her. "Look, she can't fall for you if you're not there to catch her."
"How'd you get so wise?"
"I know people." I smiled at her as I stopped the car in front of the Four Season's valet guys. I jumped out and threw the keys at one of them. "Don't scratch her." I told him before walking into the hotel with Anna.
"'Don't scratch her'?" She looked at me with her eyebrow raised as we waited for the elevator. "It's a Range Rover not a sports car."
"I've just always wanted to say that." I smiled back at her stepping into the lift. "I think you'll like Oliver, he's like an over confident Seth."
"I thought that was me." She smiled as the lift ascended.
"No, you're the wise Seth." I nodded at her.
"We are at the penthouse of the Four Seasons." Anna smiled at me as the doors opened to reveal Oliver's party.
"That we are." I nodded back at her.
"You know what I am going to spend this party not thinking about Summer or her fears about being with a girl. I am going to drink and be merry." She nodded at me.
"What happened to the whole 'falling and catching' plan?" I asked her.
"That was your plan." She told me picking up a glass of champagne from the side. "This is mine." She held it up, as if to say 'cheers' and downed it.
"For a smart girl you're really stupid, you know that right?"
"Hey Alex." Oliver smiled at me.
"Hey Oliver." I nodded back at him. "Is Marissa here yet?" I asked him looking round the party.
"Yeah," he grabbed my hand and led me round to his kitchen area, "we were just getting to know each other."
"Hey honey," she smiled at me, leaning over the small island to kiss me on the cheek, "Oliver was just telling me about Natalie."
"Oh yeah?" I hopped onto the counter top, "She here?"
"Long story," he sighed, "long distance relationship, y'know, those are always so fraught with peril. Anyway she's a freshman at Arizona."
"Older women are all over the place today aren't they." I sighed back at him, as Marissa just hit me on the arm.
"What was that for?" I asked her.
"What was that for?" she asked me. "You said you were cool with it."
"Wow." He nodded at us. "I'm going to, uh, go over there." He pointed across the room before walking through the people to the stereo.
"I am, I'm trying anyway." I corrected when she cocked her head to the side and simply looked at me with disbelief.
"Where's Seth?" She asked me after an awkward silence between us.
"Back at the house, trying to stop Hailey from tearing it apart. Where's Summer?"
"She's at home watching VH1."
"She's wallowing?" I asked her.
"And ran out of episodes of The Valley to watch." Marissa nodded, sinking us back into silence. "This shouldn't be so hard." She sighed.
"Yeah I know." I agreed, jumping off the counter top and pulling her towards me. "Want to blow this joint?"
"Are you offering me drugs?" She frowned at me.
"No I'm saying lets just go somewhere, you and me, and reconnect. Forget about Luke, forget Hailey."
"My dad's out." She smiled at me.
"Come on." I held out my hand, which she took, and led her out of the party and out of the hotel.
Marissa pulled out the sofa so she'd made her bed and we laid there watching Bring It One, mainly so Marissa could sing along with the opening scene. Eventually as she got bored and I woke up we started kissing, kissing lead to clothes being shed and eventually Marissa was back to lying in my nook stroking my naked body as I simply tried to stay awake.
"We're going to be alright, right?" She asked me as she ran her fingers along my bare chest, playing with the curves of my breasts.
"Of course we are." I lied to her, kissing her forehead.
The truth of the matter was, I no longer knew. I thought nothing mattered as long as you loved a person. You could shut out all your fears and insecurities. You could put a lid on all their negative qualities, whilst trying to suppress yours. But it doesn't work like that.
The truth of the matter was, I was no longer sure that love was enough.
Sorry this chapter took so long – it has literally gone through so many phases its unreal; everything I though I was going to do with this chapter went out the window.
Please let me know what you though – good, bad, indifferent; I don't care, just I know longer know what I'm going to do for the next few chapters. I'm open to options and I'm putting it to you and those reading on z7./TheOCsMarissaAndAlex for what to do with the chapters between this one and Theresa's return. So please review cause quite simply you get to have your say. Tell me what you want.
Thank you, Circus.
