Chapter 15B

A/N: Bnjwl did an amazing job on this chapter…I hope you agree!

Enjoy!

BPOV

I lay awake and watched as Edward tossed and turned in his sleep. I knew he struggled with what to do for Riley. He wanted what was best for him, and yet at the same time, he was selfish. I didn't blame him at all. In fact, I felt the same feelings when I first came in contact with Riley. The hardest part of being a parent was doing the right thing no matter how hard it was on you. Liz and I had talked about it several times. She reminded me that often parents sacrifice their own happiness to make their kids happy. I knew without a doubt what she spoke of because I had done that with Riley. And now, well, now Edward had too.

I saw it in his eyes that he wanted to run away with him, but at the same time, he knew staying with Carlisle and Esme was the best thing for Riley. The conflict just about killed me. I didn't want him to suffer, to over think this or even hurt one single second over it. I wanted him to see we could have it all. We just had to be patient and allow it to come to pass.

My body cried out for me to go to the bathroom and then I wanted to get a drink. It only took me a second in the bathroom, and then I padded down the hall to the kitchen. The cold juice felt so good as it slid down my throat. I almost spit it out as Edward's hands slipped around my hips and pulled me close. First of all, because he caught me while I drank out of the carton, the very thing I busted his balls about doing all the time; secondly, because I didn't want to wake him. Just a few more seconds and I would have been back in bed with him. I pushed the juice back into the fridge and turned in his arms.

"Baby, did I wake you?" His eyes looked so sleepy and innocent as he blinked back at me in the light that shined from the still open fridge.

"Yeah, well … no, not really. I had a dream, and I think that is really what woke me up. I'm not sure." He chuckled and rubbed his head. His hand attached to mine and pulled me back toward our bedroom. Every step he took, I took one to match it.

When we were settled back in bed, my head on his chest, I asked him the one thing I really wanted to know.

"Was it a good dream or a bad one?" I figured this would be enough to prompt him to tell me as much or as little as he wanted to share about the dream.

"Well, it started out kinda bad. I was alone and I was walking around aimlessly. Every single step I took, I heard you and Riley. But no matter how far I walked or how many corners I took, I could never find you both." He rubbed his chest, and I knew the dream really bothered him; he was easy enough to read sometimes. "But then all the sudden, the sun came out, and I followed the sunshine around another corner and there you both were, playing in the sunshine at the park. Riley saw me and ran to greet me." His eyes smiled as large as his mouth did. I loved to see him truly happy; his whole face showed the emotion. "We played together for a little while. Later when Carlisle and Esme showed up to get him, I felt sad." He played with the edge of my t-shirt. His fingers were unable to be still; it was the only sign of his nervousness. "Riley ran over to me and said, 'Edward, I like hanging out with you. You always make me so happy. I love you'. He looked so happy, Bella." Edward's eyes watered up, and he pulled me close to him. His next words were muffled as she spoke with his face cradled against my shoulder. "I can't take that away from him, Bella; I can't. I want to, God knows I do, but I can't. He deserves to live a happy life, and if Carlisle and Esme are willing to let us be a part of that, then that is enough for me." His tears fell in rivers across his cheeks and onto my shirt. It was a small price to pay when I considered it meant Edward had come to the conclusion he had. I just held him as he cried against me.

Eventually, we settled back in bed and fell asleep tangled with each other. No more words were spoken; we had both said our peace. We knew how the other felt and that was enough.

The next afternoon, we went to pick up Riley so we could play in the park. The tenseness I had seen on Edward was gone. He had settled down and relaxed and was able to enjoy Riley. They both ran and played until Riley was about to fall over with exhaustion. The smile on both of their faces was priceless as Edward carried Riley up to bed. I allowed him to tuck him in alone.

I stayed back to talk to Carlisle and Esme. I knew they had seen the difference in Edward, and I was sure they would want to talk about it. I dropped down in their overstuffed loveseat and waited for the onslaught of questions.

"So how was the park?" Esme asked, as politely as ever. I twisted a piece of hair around my finger, and I was sure the grin on my face could only be described as Cheshire cat-like.

"It was fine, Esme. How was your night?" I returned.

"Oh, well, ours was fine. I caught up on some reading, and Carlisle watched that 'Through the Wormhole' show I hate." Esme flipped through a magazine, and I swore any minute the pages would give under the force of her fingers as she turned them.

"Oh, well that's good." Carlisle caught on, and his grin matched mine as we both stared at Esme.

She looked up and realized we both had our eyes locked on her. She looked back and forth between the two of us as she slammed the magazine down on the table, and her face took on a grin of her own.

"What?" She almost shouted.

"Just go ahead, Es. Ask her for crying out loud." Carlisle rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"Fine, jeesh. I was trying to be polite and not pry." She spoke to him. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she turned her body to me and practically vomited the words at me. "Edward seems so different, is everything okay?"

"He's fine. He really needs to be the one to tell you though." Esme looks shocked and appalled at the same time.

"You ... you broke me down and made me ask, just to be told to wait for him?" Carlisle laughed and moved to sit beside her on the couch.

Just as she began to protest some more, Edward jogged down the stairs and took in the three of us. I was certain we looked deranged, but he came in and sat down beside me anyway.

"Did he go down okay?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah, he tried to protest, but he was just too tired to really hold out for long. I don't blame him." He ran a hand through his hair, but his smile was beautiful to see. "I would drop over and sleep now if I could. He ran me ragged today." Carlisle chuckled as Edward talked.

"Hey, why do you think I was so quick to let you two youngsters take him to the park?" Esme laid a hand on Carlisle's leg before she took the chance to change the topic. I knew she wouldn't last long.

"Everything okay, Edward? You seem different somehow."

I felt Edward tense, and he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. I promised not to bring it up, and I gave a small shrug to indicate I hadn't, but to also offer encouragement to him to answer it now and get it over with.

"Well, I know you both know Bella and I have struggled with what to do and how to make things right in regards to Riley." Both Carlisle and Esme tensed up. "I know neither of you did anything wrong and don't misunderstand us, we really appreciate it was you who took him in." Edward ran a hand through his hair again, and I patted his leg as encouragement. "It certainly could have turned out much worse if someone else had ended up with him. We may have never known where he was or if he was even still alive." His voice cracked, and I saw the tears that crept up in his eyes as he spoke. Esme grabbed Carlisle's hand, and her eyes welled up as well. "I can't thank you both enough for that." He began to cry in earnest as he bowed his head. I took both of his hands in mine and kissed them as he tried his best to gather himself so he could finish. "I was angry when I found out, like 'never been that angry in my entire fucking life' angry. I won't lie, my intention was to come in here, drag him away and hire the best lawyer possible to get our rights back." Esme's eyes opened wide, and she looked scared. "But I can't." Edward's tears began again. "You're all he knows, and he loves you so much. I can't do that to him. And as long as you both promise we will always have access to him, then Bella and I," he glanced at me, and I nodded my support, "promise not to take him away from you." Esme and Carlisle both visibly relaxed. I knew this was a huge worry for them.

"But we have one stipulation we'd like to ask of you both. We'd like to be named as guardians to Riley if anything should ever happen to you. That way he comes to us and not to someone the court appoints, please." I almost couldn't get the words out as I spoke them. It pained me to think of anything happening to them or to Riley in that event.

Carlisle and Esme looked at one another and held an entire conversation with their eyes alone. I was impressed with their level of communication. "That is not too much to ask, and I had already had the similar thoughts myself. But we have one stipulation as well." Carlisle took in a deep breath before he spoke. "No disrespect meant to either of you, but you both have had demons in your life. So please understand, we will add in a clause that makes sure you are both still in full control of those demons before Riley is placed with you. Otherwise, he will go to Liz and Ed or Charlie. He deserves to be with family. We won't stop that, but you can't blame us for looking out for him, even after we're gone."

I look at Edward, and we attempt to have our conversation with our eyes. I saw his pain and hurt there. I also saw resolve that he would never end up in that place again. So, I answered for us both. "Fine with us, we agree completely."

That night in bed, we both wore matching smiles.

"It feels so good; the peace, it feels so, so good." He murmured against my naked shoulder.

I just nodded. I was too afraid to say anything that would burst his bubble. He deserved this peace.

"I can't wait to make babies with you." His hand ran along my also naked stomach.

"Really?" I whispered.

"Oh yeah, to see you all pregnant, I can't wait." His skin glided along mine and brushed across my stomach.

"Tell me about being pregnant with Riley." His hand never stopped its movement as I began to speak. I talked for over two hours, and he never interrupted me once. He waited until I paused, and then he asked his questions.

"I want a life with you, Bella. A forever kind of love like my mom and dad, like Carlisle and Esme. I wanna be able to look at you and have an entire conversation with just our eyes. I've loved you for so long, and I can't wait for you to really be mine. And kids … I never thought I was that guy, but with you, I am. I want it all, but only with you." He turned my head and spoke the words while he looked directly into my eyes.

I had to look away. How do I tell him it might not be possible? How do I crush his dream?

"Do you not want that, Bella? Tell me. You can say anything, you know that." He tried really hard to keep his voice even, but I could hear the hurt in there.

"I might not be able to give you that, Edward." His face fell as I spoke. "I want to, but I just don't know if I can."

"It doesn't matter. I'll take whatever you can offer me. I just want you, the rest is just me being greedy." I turned in his arms and kissed his mouth as soundly as I could.

"We'll take it a step at a time, and if God chooses to bless us with more kids, then we'll have them. I would love a house full, so we'll wait on him." Edward turned so that we faced each other fully.

"What do you mean? Because I thought you were reluctant to have more, not that you couldn't. Spill it."

"It's just the years of dieting and all," I blushed, ashamed I had done this to myself. "I might not be able to get pregnant. It takes a toll on your body." My eyes welled up with tears and shame flooded my body.

"Hey, it's okay. I told you, I want you and no matter what that means, I'm here for that. We'll find a specialist and see if they can help us. If not, then we'll adopt. Where you go, I go!" He hugged me to his body and held me while I cried.

"I'm sorry. I should have known. I should have taken better care of myself."

"Hey, listen. We did what we did and we can't change that. Lord knows, I'm no one to preach at you for what you did to yourself. We just have to take care of ourselves from here on out. I'm with you now, and we'll work through this, okay?" He sealed his words with a kiss.

A/n: Well?

I know that a lot of you wanted things to go a little differently, but this is always how we'd envisioned it, so to speak. BUT, never fear;)

That's all I'll say.

See ya next week.

Kyla