Annoyingly once we got to the hospital all the excitement died down and the baby seemed to have changed its mind and was now apparently trying to reverse its decision. I was lying in the bed wincing every now and then but otherwise bored out of my mind, and Billy was sitting on the chair drumming on his legs and humming.
"You never told me you could sing." I said with a smile as I listened to him. He had quite a melodic voice, very deep.
"Full of surprises." He smiled back. I grimaced at another contraction and he sat forward. "Want anything done?" he asked.
"If you could coax the baby out it'd be great!" I laughed.
"C'mon kid, you heard your mother. Get out here." He said, running a hand over my stomach.
"You're a sweetheart Billy, you know that?" I said softly.
"Nah I'm not. Maybe you just bring out the best in me."
"I think the baby brings out the best in you. That's why you're a sweet guy." I replied.
"Charmer." He grinned, getting up to go for a cigarette but kissing my head gently beforehand. I couldn't help but be somewhat attached to him. Sharing this experience with him and carrying his baby had made me unsure of whether I had feelings for him or just a genuine fondness of having him around.
0000
By the time the pain was ripping through me and I was being told to push, Billy was a pillar of strength. He was amazing, holding my hand and every time I looked at him he looked back into my eyes as if to say,
"I know you can do it, almost there.", and it helped.
"Another push now." The doctor instructed. I gritted my teeth and pushed, feeling as though my head was about to pop right off with the effort of it. There was no dramatic screaming or punching the father telling him to never touch me again like you see in the movies; I was concentrating so hard on pushing and breathing that I couldn't spare the time to say anything to Billy. I felt a huge relief after a huge push and after a tense few seconds of looking at the doctor, I heard a strangled cry.
"Congratulations, you have a son!" he smiled and I felt myself beam, seeing the tiny baby in his arms. He was taken by the nurse and I sat back, breathing heavily.
"You did it, you did it!" Billy said happily, still clasping my hand as he reached for my face.
"A boy." I smiled breathlessly. He leaned in and kissed me softly, and then the nurse arrived over with our son in a soft blue blanket. She passed him to me and the rest of the world stood still and went quiet as I marvelled at how light he was, with a crop of dark hair and the cutest little nose, pouty lips and tiny slender fingers.
"So you're the one who's been kicking me." I said softly, feeling my eyes water as I kissed his head gently. I looked over at Billy and he looked completely nonplussed and in shock.
"Take him, say hello." I said and made to pass him but he looked terrified.
"He's too small, I'll hurt him!"
"You won't hurt him, c'mon, he needs to meet his Daddy." I said, smiling encouragingly. He gingerly reached over and took him. My eyes watered up again, he looked so small in Billy's big protective arms.
"Wow... He's perfect." Billy whispered gazing down at him.
0000
Once we were back in the room Billy still hadn't let go of him.
"It suits you." I stated as I watched him hold the tiny boy.
"Yeah I reckon I could get used to this. Here, budge over." He smiled and I moved myself gently to one side of the bed as he sat in beside me and I took the baby.
"I can't believe how tiny he is." I said, in awe of our son.
"We made one good lookin' kid." He said and I giggled looking at him.
"Yeah we did.", he leaned in and kissed me again. I felt so happy I could have burst; our son was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. I knew Billy felt the same way and kissing just seemed like the thing to do. When you're filled with that much love and happiness, what else is there to do?
"I better ring Joe." He smiled when we broke apart. He took out his cell and dialled the number.
"Joe. Thought I'd let you know. You have a nephew." He said and I could hear Joe's squeal from where I sat. I giggled and held the baby up to face, kissing his soft hair gently. He was so cute and squishy. A few moments later he hung up.
"He's coming to visit tomorrow. Who are we going to be introducin' him to?" he asked and I looked back down at him.
"Well... I always said if I had a son I'd call him Evan, but he just doesn't look like an Evan." I said.
"Yeah it's a good name but... it's not him." He agreed.
"Any ideas?" I asked and he shrugged. We sat there for a long time in bed, all three of us. The baby was sleeping soundly, I was watching him and Billy kept his arm around me, occasionally kissing the side of my head.
"What about Callan?" I asked gently a while later. He shifted a little took the baby in his arms.
"Callan... yeah I like that. I think it suits him." He smiled.
"Goes with the name too. Callan Darley." I said and Billy beamed.
"Alright, Callan it is." He said and lay him down in the crib.
"I'm gonna go, you get some sleep. I'll be back tomorrow, okay?", I nodded and lay down, wincing a little in pain.
"See you tomorrow."
"Is there anythin' you want me to bring you?"
"Nah, thanks though. Goodnight." I said and he bent down, kissing my forehead again before saying one last goodnight to Callan.
"Goodnight buddy, I'll see you tomorrow." He said, gently stroking his cheek. One last smile at me and he walked out, leaving me in silence as I lay down, looking over to the crib beside my bed where my tiny son slept. I couldn't believe it - he had finally arrived and what I felt was indescribable. Happiness surged through my veins and love was leaking out of every orifice; I was a mother and I finally understood what it meant to love unconditionally.
