Ray looked from me back to his uneaten eggroll and pushed it across his plate. He shrugged his shoulders and grabbed for the eggroll again. I didn't want to push Ray and I knew he would tell me in his own time what it was about Jimmy that was bothering him.
"Where do you want me to start?" he finally asked me.
"Where ever you feel the most comfortable. I don't want to push you, Ray." I had not seen Ray this torn since he first told me about his past with Stella.
"Jimmy and I go all the way back to high school. We got in and out of trouble, always together. After graduation, Stella and I both went off to school and Jimmy got himself a few odd jobs here and there, nothing ever stable." Ray signaled our waitress for another refill of his coffee before he continued his story. "I think Jimmy was always jealous that I ended up with Stella and not him. He always had a thing for her, but she never liked him as anything more than a friend. He never said it in so many words, but he came around less often and had started to give me the cold shoulder. I just brushed it off as an 'I grew up and he didn't' kind of thing. Then, Stella and I got married and all of a sudden, here comes Jimmy again. He had gotten himself fired from his latest job and lost his apartment and needed a place to stay. Hell, we were old, buddies, what was I supposed to do? Turn him away? So, I let him stay with us. I told Stella it would be fine, he could sleep on the couch for a few weeks until he found another place."
"Let me guess, Stella wasn't too keen on the idea of him staying with you?" I asked Ray.
"Oh, she didn't really care at first. Then one day I came home from work and she was all upset and screaming at me. When she finally calmed down, she told me that Jimmy had made a pass at her. When he came back later in the evening, I of course confronted him. Told he him wasn't allowed there when Stella was there alone. I gave him a week to get his shit together."
"Is that why you're leery of him staying with you again? You think he will make another pass at Stella?" I asked Ray cautiously. "I don't think I need to remind you that she can date whomever she pleases."
"No, you knit-wit. I'm worried about him putting the moves on you." Ray said anger filling his voice.
I was taken aback at Ray's sudden outburst and I was pretty certain that he could see the hurt in my eyes. Ray quickly dropped the eggroll he was still playing with and took hold of my hands before I could pull them away.
"God, I'm sorry, Ben..." he quickly apologized. "...its just that... well, Jimmy doesn't care who he hurts, as long as he gets what he wants in the end. And I'm not going to pretend I didn't see the way he was looking at you."
"Ray, I have no interest in Jimmy. He unnerves me to be quite honest. If it upsets you so much, why agree to let him stay with you?" I was having a difficult time reading Ray's body language all of a sudden.
Ray looked at me defeated. "I don't know, I think I feel sorry for the guy. Maybe he has changed. I don't know. He's had a rough past. It just makes me nervous after I saw him eye-balling you. I'm telling you, he lays a finger on you or even attempts to whisper in your ear, he's going to lose a body part.
"Ray, I have no intention of letting him get that close to me. I don't believe that Diefenbaker would even allow it. He isn't very fond of him. It is has been quite some time since he has actually growled at someone upon first meeting them." I tried to break the tension that was building in Ray and managed to get a smile out of him. "Don't you trust me?" I asked, trying not to let the hurt come through my voice.
"Of course, I trust you, Ben." Ray emphasized by squeezing my hands and then locking our fingers. "Okay? I don't want you to think that I don't, but I just don't trust Jimmy. God, you and I have been through so much the last few months and I feel like we have built this strong connection that nothing can break. Like I said, maybe he has changed. I will give him the benefit of the doubt."
"What did you guys talk about last night?" I asked Ray curiously. Perhaps if I changed the subject, Ray would relax a little and we could actually enjoy our time together.
"He asked me about Stella and what happened there. So, I gave him the short version. He asked me about work and I told him that you help get me into some very interesting situations."
"Well, I do what I can to keep our partnership interesting." I said with a crooked smile.
"That you do. Never a dull moment with you around." Ray squeezed my hands one last time before unlocking our fingers and letting go. "I gave Jimmy a few leads on some jobs to check out and we talked some about what landed him in jail."
"And that was?" I asked full of curiosity.
"Assault and drug possesion." Ray replied. "Not exactly a boy scout, huh?"
"Did he say who he assaulted?" I was suddenly worried about Ray's safety with Jimmy staying with him.
"Apparently some guy got in his face at a party and he ended up beating the hell out of him." Ray explained with a shrug of his shoulders.
"And the drugs?" I asked.
"Said he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was riding around with a friend and they got pulled over, cops searched the car and found a stash and he got busted for it."
"Hmm… you will be careful around him, won't you?" I asked Ray.
"Of course, I will. I am a cop, remember." Ray locked eyes with me and gave me a warm smile. "Okay listen, I'm tired of talking about Jimmy. So, now what? You want to come back to my place for a while? I'm not going to promise that he won't be there. We can stop at theConsulate and pick up Diefenbaker."
I pulled at my collar and heard Ray chuckle. "What's so funny?"
"I'm really sorry, but I think I left a mark last night on your neck. I gave Benton Fraser a hickey." Ray proudly replied.
"Ahh... I prefer love bite, Ray." I let out a chuckle of my own and then I grew serious again. "Ray, are we going to tell people about us?" I asked him carefully, trying to gauge his reaction and glad we had the privacy of a corner booth.
"Well, I'm not going to broadcast it or anything." He grabbed for my hands again and continued quickly when the hurt began to show on my face. "What I meant was, I know you like your privacy. So, I leave the decision up to you. I'm not against our friends knowing."
"So, no hiding? I could kiss you openly in public and that wouldn't bother you?" I asked him.
"It may be a bit weird at first, but then again, any public display of affection is weird at first, regardless of who it's with." Ray squeezed my hands. "I'm not ashamed to be seen with you and I hope you feel the same way. I don't want to hide how I feel for you behind my apartment door, but I'm also not going to run up and down the street screaming 'I'm dating Benton Fraser!'."
"Okay." I squeezed his hands in return and quickly added, "Let's get out of here, Ray, and go back to your place. Maybe we will get lucky and Jimmy will be out for the evening." I said with a wink.
Ray paid our bill and we made our way outside towards the opposite side of the street, where ray had parked the GTO. He surprised me by taking my hand in his. He was right, it did feel strange to put even a small amount of affection on display, but it was a feeling I was going to get used to.
I had a sudden urge to kiss Ray and I didn't think I could wait until we got into the privacy of the car. I slowed my steps and pulled Ray to a stop as well. He turned around and looked at me confused. With our clasped hands, I pulled him towards me. My free hand went around the back of his neck and I pulled his face to mine. With just a hint of hesitation, my lips met his. I only intended to give Ray a quick kiss, to show him that I wasn't worried about people knowing of our relationship. But when my lips met his, there was an electric spark and we were both soon running out of air as our tongues invaded each other's mouths and the kiss was deepened considerably. My hands where busy running through Ray's spikey blond hair and he had settled his on my waist. I came up for air breathing hard. "I think we need to move to a more private location."
"You know, Ben. You shouldn't kiss me like this, unless you mean it like that."
"Oh, I mean it like that, Ray." I pulled him close for another kiss and was startled when I heard someone from across the street yell in our direction.
"Hey, get a room!"
Ray began to laugh. "Gladly!" he yelled back over his shoulder and pulled me in the direction of his car.
We managed to keep our hands off of each other on the drive to Ray's apartment, but all bets were off the moment we crossed the threshold and headed up the stairs. We were twisting in each other's grasps trying to get a better hold onto each other and tripping over our own feet in the process, but our lips remained fused together. No force was powerful enough to break us apart. Ray fumbled with his keys and I was suddenly very happy that he took my advice and cleared the excess keys off his ring. He found his apartment key and within a few seconds he had the door unlocked and opened. He flipped on the light with knowing fingers and it appeared that we had the apartment to ourselves… maybe the penny I had picked up earlier in the day did provide us with a touch of luck. Ray had me pushed up against his living room wall and began grinding his hips into mine.
"God… Ray." I panted out.
"You have no idea what you do to me." Ray was working his way towards my hips and his nimble fingers already had my shirt unbuttoned. Pulling the shirt out of my jeans, he unbuttoned it the rest of the way and pulled it down off my shoulders, stopping at my wrists. He effectively had me cuffed. I was now at Ray's mercy. Ray looked into my eyes as my breathing began to quicken.
"Looks like we have the place to ourselves." Ray began to place soft kisses along my collarbone and slowly made trails down towards the button on my jeans. He kissed my growing erection through my jeans before making his way back towards my lips. I believe he kissed every bare piece of skin between my lips and the button to my jeans. He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me off the wall and began to back me towards his bedroom. His hands were busy exploring my torso and he would occasionaly pull me close to him and rub his erection across mine. We were both highly aroused.
I wanted to participate in my own exploration of Ray's body but my hands where still cuffed with my shirt. Ray hit a particular sensitive spot on my right side and I gasp in surprise. "Ray…" His kisses were becoming too much, I had to get my hands free and on him. I moaned out his name again, pleading with him as he placed more kisses towards my pulsing erection. "Ray… please… oh, god."
"What, Ben?" he whispered in my ear, his face showing his arousal that was a mirror to my own.
"Please… my hands, I need to touch you… to feel you," I begged himto release me.
"Not yet… just hold on a little longer," he continued to whisper towards my ear while he continued to back me into his room, in the direction towards the bed. My knees hit the back of the bed and Ray stopped his sensual kisses to my upper body and began to undo the button and zipper of my jeans. My breath caught in my throat when he worked his long, slender fingers into my boxers and began to stroke me.
"Ray… please." I panted while he continued to stroke me and then his fingers were wrapped firmly around my erection. "Oh god, oh god… Ray, don't stop." I closed my eyes and threw my head forward to rest on Ray's shoulder.
As quickly as he began, his hand let go of me and he spoke quietly, just above a whisper. "Now… I'll let you go." With a gentle tug he pulled my jeans and boxers both to my ankles and I stepped out of them. He stripped with lightening quick speed himself and was once again standing in front of me. He placed his hands on the fabric still cuffing my wrists and tugged until my hands were free.
I had to get my hands on Ray and feel his smooth skin under my touch. I caught him off-guard by grabbing his elbows and spinning him around so he was backed against the bed. His momentum pulled us both down and I initiated my own exploration of his body. I covered Ray with my aroused body, pinning him to the mattress. I began placing kisses to all of the sensitive spots I had found on him the first night we shared his bed. The underside of his left wrist, his collarbone, behind his right ear, down the middle of his chest to just above his now full erection, were all spots I concentrated my kisses and earned a moan at each new location. I took Ray's right ring finger into my mouth and sucked then twirled my tongue around it, until I heard Ray moan.
"I want you… I need you to touch me." Ray begged in my ear as I found his lips once more and silenced him with a fierce kiss.
I trailed my fingers up and down his erection slowly, teasing him a little before I took hold of him firmly in my hand and began stroking him. Ray threw his head back into his pillow and bucked his hips to match each of my strokes. Rays was breathing hard and his eyes where closed tightly. His hand found its way between our bodies and he was soon matching me stroke for stroke. We were gasping for air and calling out each other's names when we both reached our climax.
I collapsed beside Ray and lay my hand on his glistening hip. His breathing was beginning to even out and he finally opened his eyes and turned to drape an arm over my shoulder. I opened my own eyes and caught him staring at me. A smile broke out across his face. He took his clean hand and traced my lips before kissing me again.
"I'll go get a washcloth from the bathroom to get us cleaned up." He deepened his kiss before releasing my lips. "Then we can catch some sleep."
"That sounds good, Ray."
Ray got up and left the bedroom for the washcloth. He was gone longer than I thought it would have taken to get a simple wash cloth. When he returned, I was half asleep already. He leaned over and kissed me before cleaning the evidence of our love making off of my stomach and hand.
"Hey, Ben," he whispered.
I opened my eyes slowly and tried to focus. "Ray, I believe in our haste to get back to your place, we have forgotten to pick up Diefenbaker."
"Listen, I hate to do this, but Welsh just called and left me a message. I'm needed at the station to help with an interrogation of a guy we arrested yesterday."
"I can come with you." I began to sit up and Ray pushed me back down.
"No, it's okay. I shouldn't be but a few hours. You go ahead and stay and get some sleep and I'll crawl in with you when I get back."
"Diefenbaker…" I began to protest but Ray silenced me with a finger to my lips.
"I will pick up Dief on my way home." Ray replied.
"Okay… if you're sure you don't mind." I lay my head back down on the pillow and pulled the blankets up to my neck.
"I'll see you in a few hours. Night, Ben." Ray leaned over and kissed me again.
I wished he didn't have to leave then we could fall asleep in each other's embrace. Ray's scent was filling my nose and I longed for his touch already. I told myself he would only be a few hours, so I settled into my pillow and fell into a deep sleep.
Morning came and I awoke with a start, confused as to where I was. The bed was softer than my own and the blankets heavier over my body. I glanced around and sighed when memory took over and all of Ray's belongings came into view. Yes, I was at Ray's. But, Ray's side of the bed was cold, indicating that he had either been up for a while or never returned home last night after leaving for the station. My heartbeat sped up and I climbed out of bed quickly. Pulling on my boxers and jeans, I stopped short of the bedroom door when I smelled Ray's coffee and… was that waffles? My heartbeat began to steady itself as I made my way towards the smell of breakfast and Ray.
Ray's back was turned to me in the kitchen and I leaned against the wall to study him while he whipped eggs in a bowl. His moves seemed to be a bit choppy and not as graceful as I was used to seeing. His hair, although ever in the experimental, mode appeared off as well. Then, he turned around and I was caught.
"Good morning, Benton," Jimmy said with a sly grin. "Imagine my surprise when I came in last night and went to ask Ray a question and found you asleep in his bed instead. Waffle?"
Jimmy handed me a plate of fresh waffles and I took it from him unsure what to say besides the polite response of 'Thank- you'.
"When Ray mentioned he was seeing someone, he didn't mention it was you." Jimmy winked at me. "What's the matter, the cat got your tongue?"
"I'm terribly sorry, Jimmy. You uh... you took me by surprise. I was expecting to find Ray in the kitchen, not you. From the back the two of you are very similar, so I apologize if it appeared that I was um… uh staring at you."
"You can stare all you want." Jimmy replied with another wink.
"Do you know where Ray is this morning?" I asked him, changing the subject quickly. This man unnerved me very much. I didn't like the way his eyes were roaming over my body. I remembered I was wearing only my jeans. My shirt was still on the floor somewhere in Ray's bedroom. "Excuse me for a moment." I retreated to bedroom and found my shirt. Pulling the arms right side out, I slipped it on and began to button it up as I returned to the kitchen.
"You didn't have to cover up on my account. I don't mind looking at you. Ray found himself quite the catch. Didn't know he was gay."
"Yes, about Ray, do you know where he is?" I asked ignoring Jimmy's other comments.
"Nah, he hasn't been here since I got in around two."
"I see, and you're up already?" I questioned him.
"Don't sleep much. How long have you and Ray been together?" Jimmy asked me, his eyes still wandering over my body.
"Not long, actually. Our relationship is still fairly new." I wasn't about to give Jimmy any more details than necessary. Maybe I should have told him we had been together longer so he would stop staring at my body.
"Hmmm… maybe that leaves an opening for me then. I mean, come on, he leaves for the night and abandons you alone in his bed. What does that tell you about the guy?" Jimmy asked me.
Jimmy began moving closer to me, like a predator on the prowl. I began to back up towards the wall away from his advances. I was unsure what his intentions were at the moment.
"It tells me that he had to leave for work and that he hasn't returned home yet. He in no way abandoned me. Now, if you will excuse me. I need to get going." I retreated to the bedroom and gathered the last of my clothing, shoes and socks and headed to the door. Jimmy stopped me at the door and took hold of my elbow.
"You know, Benton." His voice was barely above a whisper. "You should really start looking at things from a different point of view. I can make you so much happier than Ray can."
Jimmy let go of my elbow and I left, quickly made my way to the police station in search of Ray.
When I entered the bull pen, I found Ray sitting at his desk. It was littered with coffee cups and Twinkie wrappers. He was sifting through a pile of paperwork when he finally looked up and noticed me. I sat down in my chair across from him and locked eyes with him.
"We need to talk, now."
