Ray slowly released Fraser's lips and tried to catch his breath.

"So, you and me, huh?" Fraser questioned with a small smile.

"Yeah, Ben… you and me," Ray replied and went in for another kiss.

Fraser leaned back and avoided Ray's advances. "How long? How long have we been uh… together?"

"About a month. Are you okay? You're not freaking out are you?" Ray asked.

Fraser shook his head 'No', but Ray had already turned around and was pacing.

"Dammit… I told Frannie you would freak out." Ray ran his fingers through his hair, upending it even more than it already was.

"Ray…" Fraser tried to get the blonds attention.

"God, why do I listen to her?" Ray continued his rant.

"Ray…" Fraser couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"Just keep your mouth shut, Ray… that's what I should have done. Let him figure it out on his own." Ray was on a roll.

"Ray!" Fraser put some force behind the name and winced when his cracked ribs protested.

"What?" Ray stopped pacing and looked at Fraser. He breathing was ragged and Ray could tell he was hurting.

"Stop, with the ranting and pacing already…please." Fraser patted the bed next to him. "Sit down… I'm glad you told me. I'm pleased to know that that I'm not alone in this crazy city." Fraser admitted with a smile.

Ray carefully sat down next to Fraser. "So, you're not freaked out that you're getting it on with your male partner?" Ray questioned.

"A little surprised, perhaps, but freaked out… no. And by 'getting it on'… you mean we're…" Fraser wasn't sure he could say the words.

"Having sex…yes," Ray finished his thought.

"Ah, I see. Ray, I'm uh…" Fraser knuckle swiped his eyebrow and bit the corner of his lip. "I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. It may take some getting used to the idea of sleeping with you." Fraser admitted shyly. He didn't want to hurt Ray's feelings, but sex with Ray was a huge step for him at this particular juncture.

"Don't worry Ben… you need to get healed up first anyway. You're in no shape for extracurricular activities at the moment." Ray took Fraser's hand and squeezed it.

Fraser sighed with relief. "I just need you to be patient with me, okay… that's all I'm asking."

"Absolutely, and if anything makes you uncomfortable, you need to tell me. I don't read minds so well." Ray rubbed Fraser's hand.

Fraser agreed with a slow shake of his head. He was getting tired and knew that he should rest but he wanted to learn more about Ray and their relationship at the same time.

Ray made the decision for him. "Come on, Ben. I think you need to get some rest. I will answer any questions you have about us when you wake up."

Fraser let out a small laugh. "I thought you said you couldn't read minds, Ray."

Ray stood up from the bed and picked up the discarded journal Fraser had laid down earlier. He placed it on the bedside table and turned back to Fraser. "I said I don't read minds very well." Ray bent over to remove Fraser's boots and placed them at the foot of the bed.

"Will you be staying?" Fraser was concerned about being alone. "I mean…. you don't have to, I'm sure you have other things you need to do other than sit here with me."

Ray silenced Fraser with a finger pressed to his lips. "Yes I'll stay… I'm not going anywhere."

Fraser let out a sigh. Ray's touch was familiar and he welcomed it. Ray pulled the covers back while Fraser scooted further onto the bed. Ray helped him lift his legs up and propped a couple of pillows behind his back and side for his injured arm. Ray pulled the covers over Fraser's legs and up to his chest. "I'll be here when you wake up, okay."

Fraser wasn't sure exactly why he was scared to be alone. He knew with his injuries he was going to be needing help with simple tasks, but something else was bothering him that he couldn't place. 'What else is new?' he thought with a hint of resignation. Nothing was familiar, nothing except maybe Ray's touch, and even that wasn't making much sense. How could he remember Ray's touch, but not the man himself? He settled into the pillows and got as comfortable as his injuries would allow. He fell into a restless sleep.

Ray pulled the door closed to Fraser's bedroom and made his way to the entryway to lock the door. If Jimmy was still around, he didn't want to give him easy access to Fraser. He would have no way of defending himself with a broken arm and cracked ribs. Ray thought back to his beloved car. Jimmy was trying to hurt him, not Fraser. He wanted to get him out of the way so he could have Fraser to himself. 'As if…' Ray thought to himself. He needed to keep himself busy. He looked around at the boxes scattered across the floor and decided he would unpack the rest of the boxes for Fraser. He wouldn't be able to do it himself anytime soon anyway.


Ray was well into his third box when he stopped. He looked at the wrinkled postcard he held in his hands. It was addressed to Fraser. Turning it over he looked at the picture and realized it was from Vecchio, the real Vecchio. He recognized the handwriting from all the files he had to read when he took this undercover gig. The postcard had shown up in his mail at the station and he remembered giving it to Fraser that first night they had met. Fraser had looked torn when he realized who it was from and then suddenly had asked Ray to have dinner with him. Ray smiled at the memory… duets. From the beginning, he and Fraser were a duet. Ray vowed that nothing was going to tear them apart, not the Ice Queen, not Jimmy and not something as evil as memory loss.

Ray placed the postcard on the countertop and began searching through the remainder of the boxes for other things that may help trigger Fraser's memory. He came across a stub for the Chicago Zoo and wondered why Fraser would keep a ticket stub to the zoo. It had fallen out of a book Fraser must have been reading at one point and he must have used it as a bookmark. He looked the stub over again and then it clicked… Victoria. He remembered reading about it in Vecchio's files. The zoo is where Fraser and Victoria had run into that Jolly guy that was killed, with Fraser's gun. That's where the scar on Fraser's hand came from. Jolly had slashed his hand with a knife while he was dangling from the railing.

Ray sat down on the floor in front of the box and stared at the ticket stub still in his hand. Would Fraser remember Victoria? She was a part of his life before Chicago, but what about… what about the bullet in Fraser's back? Ray really didn't want to go down that memory lane with Fraser. It was dark and ugly and full of personal demons for Fraser. He slipped the ticket stub back into the book and placed it on a shelf, high out of Fraser's injured reach. 'That memory can wait.' Ray told himself.

Ray wasn't getting anywhere with the boxes as far as memories were concerned. Fraser just didn't keep mementos, except for a 'damn ticket stub', Ray thought bitterly. He wasn't going there… he wasn't. That was the past, he was Fraser's future. Ray stood up, retrieved his cell phone and called Frannie. She still had Diefenbaker and Ray was sure she would like to visit with Fraser as well. After all, they were friends, too. She agreed to come over and bring pizza and Dief in about an hour.

Ray was busy putting the contents of the last box away when he heard Fraser shuffling out of the bedroom. He didn't look like he had slept very well. Ray immediately shook two pain pills out of Fraser's medicine bottle and gave them to Fraser along with an opened bottle of water.

Fraser began to protest but Ray stopped him. "Please, Ben. I can tell your hurting. Just take them. Frannie is on the way with Dief and pizza. I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"I am kind of hungry and I'm anxious to have Diefenbaker back with me." Fraser took the offered pills and gingerly settled himself on the couch.

"Did you sleep well?" Ray asked as he folded down the last box and put in the pile to be recycled.

"Not exactly, I kept having strange dreams. None of which I can recall, though." Fraser placed his feet on the couch and slowly pulled his knees towards his chest. "Is my furniture new?" Fraser ran his hand over the upholstery before looking up at Ray.

"Yeah, like I said. You just moved in last weekend. You and I went out last week and I helped you pick everything out." Ray told him as he settled himself on the opposite end of the couch. He slowly pulled Fraser's feet into his lap and began rubbing them. "Is this okay?" He asked unsure.

Fraser looked into Ray's eyes and nodded. "Did you help pick out the bed as well?" Fraser questioned with a smirk.

"Actually, you insisted on the king sized bed," Ray stated. Fraser was staring at him with those intense blue eyes again and Ray had to fight back the urge to crawl to the other end of the couch and devour him with kisses.

"Ah, I see. I may need a map to find my way around it." Fraser returned Ray's stare.

Ray's breath hitched. "Are you messing with me? Are you sure you've lost your memory?"

"I assure you, Ray, I have no memory of you and I together. Why do you ask?" Fraser was confused. Was it something he had said?

"What you just said about needing a map to find your way around… I said that to you when we first made your bed. God, it's starting to come back isn't it…little by little?" Ray was making his way to the other end of the couch now.

He captured Fraser's lips in a kiss before Fraser could confirm or deny anything concerning his memory. Ray didn't care. He just wanted to feel Fraser's lips against his again. Fraser parted his lips and Ray's tongue began its exploration of Fraser's mouth. Fraser took his right hand and pulled Ray closer.

When Ray came up for air, he noticed fresh tears in Fraser's eyes. "What's wrong? Am I hurting you?" Ray sat back on his heels.

"No, you're not hurting me… I'm sorry I don't remember us. I want to so badly… I long for your touch even though I can't remember it. Does that make sense?" Fraser pulled Ray in for another kiss.

"That's because you love me, Ben… and I love you and you don't forget love." Ray knew Frannie was a smart woman.

Ray released Fraser's lips and reluctantly sat back on his heels again. "I gotta stop or I'm going to want more than kisses from you and that's just not doable right now." Ray got up from the couch and went into the kitchen. "Would you like some tea? 'Cause I… need a drink.' Ray pressed his hand into his groin and cursed. 'Damn Mountie…'

"If it makes you feel any better, Ray… I uh, appear to be having the same problem." Fraser shifted on the couch and adjusted himself as well. 'Damn broken arm…'

There was a knock at the door and Fraser's head shot up. Ray could see sudden panic in his eyes. "What's wrong?" He went to the door and looked through the peep-hole, half expecting to see Jimmy on the other side.

"I don't know, I just had a weird feeling that something bad is about to happen?" Fraser was breathing quickly and trying to stand up."

"Sit down… it's okay. It's just Frannie and Dief. She brought us dinner fit for kings… pizza." Ray unlocked the door and Frannie and Dief entered the apartment. She placed the pizza on the counter and Ray motioned for her to stay in the kitchen with him while Dief went to the couch to find Fraser.

Fraser settled once he laid eyes on his faithful companion. Diefenbaker limped as quickly as he could over to the couch and laid his head in Fraser's lap. "My loyal friend, how are you, old boy?" Fraser scratched Dief's head and rubbed behind his ears. Dief yipped. "I hope your memory is intact, boy because I can't seem to recall much." Dief yipped and nuzzled Fraser's hand. "So, Ray's a good guy?" Fraser asked the half- wolf as he stared into the kitchen towards Ray. Dief yipped again and settled his head on Fraser's lap. "Yeah, I think so, too."

Frannie noticed the postcard laying on the countertop and picked it up. "What's this?"

"I found it while I was unpacking boxes and thought it might help trigger Fraser's memory. It came in my mail at the station the first day we met." Ray explained as he took the post card from Francesca and flipped it over in his hands looking at both sides. "Ray sent it to him."

Frannie took the postcard again and flipped it over. "How do you know it's from him? There's just a picture of snow."

"Ben knew…" Ray smiled fondly at the memory. "He held a lighter up to it and a picture of him and Vecchio appeared. When it cooled off, the snow returned." Ray started a pot of tea for Fraser and coffee for himself and Frannie. Frannie helped dish up pizza for all three of them and moved into the living room to say hello to Fraser. Ray followed with Fraser's tea and set it down on the end table within Fraser's reach. Frannie handed him a plate of Ray's pineapple pizza.

"Thank you kindly, Francesca."

Frannie smiled in return and sat down in the chair across from the couch while Ray took his place at the opposite end of Fraser.

"How are you feeling, now that you're home, Fraser?" Frannie asked as she nibbled on her pizza.

"Well, the furnishings are much more comfortable than the hospitals. But Ray tells me I haven't lived here for more than a week so, I'm not sure this feels like home yet." Fraser was looking around his apartment still trying to force things to fall into place in his brain. He noticed the boxes were no longer scattered on the floor. "Where did all the boxes go, Ray?"

"Oh, I needed to get rid of some energy so I finished unpacking them. I didn't think you would mind." Ray was hoping Fraser wouldn't be too upset with him.

"No, it's fine. You will just have to show me where you put things." Fraser was relieved that he wouldn't have to do the unpacking himself. He could barely get out of bed by himself. He didn't think he would have been able to unpack the remainder of the boxes. He didn't usually leave things like unpacking, unfinished. He wondered why he hadn't finished the task when he first started it. He would have to ask Ray later.

"Did Ray show you the postcard he found?" Frannie broke into his train of thought.

"No, what postcard?" Fraser was curious what she was talking about.

Ray got up off the couch and retrieved the postcard from the counter. He found a lighter in a drawer he had put away earlier and slipped it into his pocket. He wanted to see if Fraser could figure it out, without him telling him. Ray handed the postcard over to Fraser and watched his face for any signs of recognition.

Fraser turned the postcard over in his hands and studied it. "'Warm me up, it's cold out here'… What does that mean?" Fraser asked aloud as he turned it over in his hands. "Ray, do you have a lighter?"

There it was… a tiny spark. Ray dug the lighter out of his pocket and handed it to Fraser.

Fraser didn't notice the big smile on Ray's face as he lit the lighter and danced the flame under the postcard. The snowy scenery morphed into a picture of him and another man. The other man had his arm draped over his shoulder and wore a big smile. Fraser looked up at Ray and then over to Francesca. "This is Ray… Ray Vecchio. Am I right? My partner and your brother."

Frannie got up and kissed Fraser on the cheek. "You remember him?"

"I think so. He always wore these loud, colorful shirts." Fraser smiled at the postcard in his hand.

"That's Ray, all right. Can you remember anything else about him?" Frannie questioned.

Fraser's smile faded. "No, but you… you're hair used to be longer."

Frannie threw her arms around Fraser's neck and kissed his cheek. He winced loudly and she quickly let go. "Oh my god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just excited that you remembered something."

"It's ok, Francesca." Fraser held his breath and let it out slowly trying to keep the pain in check.

She sat back down and started working on her pizza again. "It's just fantastic that you're remembering, even if it is little things."

"There are just small things beginning to register. I can't tell you anything about Ray, except for his colorful wardrobe… and that's frustrating to me." Fraser admitted to his friends.

"It's okay Frase, it will all come back. Patience, remember." Ray suggested with a smile.

"So, how much longer is Inspector Thatcher going to let you stay before she demands Ray return you to Canada?" Frannie asked a surprised Fraser.

"What are you talking about?" Fraser asked, dropping his own pizza to his plate.

"Frannie…" Ray warned. "You weren't supposed to say anything to him."

"I didn't realize you hadn't told him," she shot back.

"Would someone mind telling me what that means?" Fraser demanded.

"I think maybe I should go for now. It's obvious that Ray has a few things to tell you." Francesca deposited her plate in the kitchen and left quickly.

Ray dropped his head into his hands and cursed under his breath. He did not want to look at Fraser right now and see the hurt and possible distrust in his eyes. He wanted the oversized couch to swallow him whole.

"Ray, what is she talking about? Why am I supposed to go back to Canada?" Fraser placed his plate of mostly uneaten pizza on the end table. He slowly slid down the couch and took Ray's hand into his own. "Ray… what's going on?"

"Shit… I didn't want to have to tell you yet." Ray paused, hoping Fraser would let it drop. Not likely.

"Tell me what? What is it you're keeping from me?"

"The Ice Queen got you a posting back in Canada. You would be in charge of your own depot and it is supposed to be located somewhere near your cabin. You would get to go back home." Ray explained defeated. He couldn't look Fraser in the eyes.

"I don't understand, Ray. Isn't that a good thing?" Fraser was perplexed. Reality hit him like a two tone brick. "Oh… dear."

"Oh dear's right, Ben. What's that mean for us? Huh, except you can't remember us…" Ray was up off the couch and pacing. "Fuck!"

"How soon?" Fraser asked quietly.

"You are supposed to leave the beginning of next week." Ray stopped his pacing and sat down on the arm of the couch.

"If I'm supposed to leave, why did you finish unpacking my boxes?" Fraser looked around and was still confused.

"Because I'm fighting for you, dammit. I don't want you to go and leave me. The Ice Queen has had plenty of opportunities to haul you back to Canada. But no… she waits until your involved with someone before she finally decides it's time to send you packing… no way." Ray was clearly agitated.

"Surely, she can see I am in no shape to be of any service to the RCMP in my current condition. That should buy us, what… at least six weeks? I do have a broken arm after all." Fraser smiled affectionately at Ray. "Is that what all the yelling was about at the hospital?"

"Yeah, she wanted to have you transferred to a hospital up North. Your doc put a quick stop to that one." Ray slid down the couch closer to Fraser.

"What if I don't want to go?" Fraser suddenly asked.

"It was a direct order from Ottawa. You told me you didn't have a choice. What if I don't want you to go?" Ray asked Fraser.

"Then when I get my marbles aligned correctly in my brain, I will see what I can do to stay." Fraser smiled at him and pulled him close for a kiss. "Come on, I will help you clean up the pizza. I want to hear more about us."

Ray and Fraser made their way to the kitchen and the put the last of the pizza into the fridge for later. Ray snuck Diefenbaker a piece while Fraser had his back turned and the wolf scarfed it down quickly. Ray washed their mugs and was drying them so he could place them back into the cupboard when he noticed Fraser holding his set of keys.

Fraser kept turning them over in his hands. He shrugged his good shoulder and placed them back on the counter. He thought there was something to them when he picked them up, but now… the feeling was gone and he had no memory to assign it to.

Fraser was lost in his thoughts when Ray snuck up behind him. Ray held him lightly around the waist and placed his chin on Fraser's good shoulder. "Ben… have you figured out that I love you yet? Even if you never get your marbles realigned, I will always love you. I won't give up on you remembering us."

"Ray… I'm scared. What if I don't remember everything?" It was Fraser's turn to not be able to look Ray in the eye.

"Then we start over… simple enough. You fell in love with me once; I can make you fall in love with me again." Ray kissed Fraser's neck and they both sighed as Fraser leaned into Ray's touch.

Fraser turned around and looked in Rays. "I think I want to lie down for a bit… will you join me?" he asked hesitantly. "I want to feel your touch… I can't tell you why or how, but I remember your touch."

"Of course…I'll take what I can get." Ray locked the door and led Fraser into the bedroom. He carefully helped him undress down to his boxer briefs and then helped him into bed. Ray adjusted the pillows behind Fraser before he undressed himself and climbed in the other side of the bed.

"Can I hold you?" Ray asked unsure how close Fraser was willing to let him get. "I'll be careful." Ray promised.

Fraser nodded and held his breath as the bed shifted and Ray moved closer. Ray settled his head beside Fraser's right shoulder and began trailing his fingers softly across his chest.

"Ray…"Fraser began but was unsure how to continue. He didn't want to sound stupid after all.

"What is it, Ben?" Ray was hypnotized by the strong beat of Fraser's heart. He had almost fallen asleep in the few short minutes he had been in the bed with the man he loved.

"You promise not to laugh? It is an odd question." Fraser asked still unsure.

"I promise. What is it?" 'This ought to be good, Fraser afraid to ask a question.' Ray smiled in the dark.

"Is there something about your keys that should mean something? I keep thinking about them but I don't know why they should hold any importance to me. Do you know why?" Fraser asked seriously. He felt the bed shift beside him and Ray let out a shaky breath.

Ray sat up and leaned on his own elbow. "Ben, on that sinking ship, I was handcuffed to a pipe and you were sorting through my keys looking for my handcuff key. You couldn't find it and you started in on my lack of organizational skills." Ray began tracing along Fraser's chest again. "One day we were heading to my place and you noticed I had organized my keys, taken off ones I no longer needed."

Fraser placed his hand on top of Ray's and locked their fingers. "You made room for me?" Fraser questioned.

Ray nuzzled Fraser's neck. "Yeah… that's one way to put it. I had to get rid of things I was holding on to, before I could let someone else in, and that someone …was you." Ray moved from Fraser's neck up to his lips and kissed him deeply. Fraser returned this kiss with everything he had, until his cracked ribs and broken arm began to protest.

He settled back into his pillows and Ray snuggled into his side and the two fell asleep. Ray had a firm grasp on Fraser's right arm. Fraser was slowly finding his way home and Ray wasn't about to let go. He was going to be Ben's guide, no matter how long it took.


The following morning, Ray woke up long before Fraser. He got up and started his coffee. He found the stash of M&M's Fraser had purchased for him before the accident and counted out a handful to drop in his coffee one it was ready. He pulled the green mug out of the cupboard and deposited the M&M's into it while the coffee brewed. He decided on a quick shower to help wake up his tired brain. Fraser had done a lot of fidgeting in his sleep and Ray didn't sleep very well next to the Mountie. He toweled off, got dressed into some lose fitting jeans and his favorite faded green t-shirt. He made his way back into the kitchen and started water in the new tea pot for Fraser. A hot cup of tea when the Mountie woke up would do him good.

Ray pulled one of Fraser's father's journals off the shelf and began reading it while he waited for Fraser to wake up. His father was an interesting man. Ray suddenly remembered that he never called his mom back. How long ago was that anyway? He added that to his list of things to do for the day. He smiled when he heard Fraser shuffling out of the bedroom. "Morning Ben… how did you sleep?"

Fraser sank slowly into the other end of the couch and held his breath. He was hurting this morning and he wasn't hiding it very well from Ray. "Not very well. Would you mind getting me a couple of pills?"

Ray was up quickly. "I have some tea and toast for you as well if you are up for that."

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser sank further into the cushions. "Ray, do I know someone named Jimmy? I kept having a dream about a man named Jimmy last night, but I could never place where I knew him. I thought you might know."

Ray dropped the plate he had just pulled out of the cupboard. "Shit… of everything for you to remember, it has to be him?"

"Is everything alright in there, Ray? Do I know a Jimmy?" Fraser couldn't understand Ray's sudden burst of anger.

"All you need to know for now is Jimmy is bad news." Ray picked up the broken plate and cleaned up the chards of glass. Fraser was still staring at him waiting for him to finish the story. Ray sighed and sat down on the couch beside Fraser. "Jimmy's the reason your hurt. He's an old friend of mine who came to visit out of the blue. He took an interest in you and wouldn't leave you alone. After I punched him and you flat out told him to leave you alone… he moved in two doors down from you. And then we found out after the accident that he had cut the brake lines. His prints were all over the lines and the underside of my car."

Fraser was shocked. "Oh… so, how do I know who he is?"

"You don't need to worry about that… I'm not leaving you alone." Ray placed a reassuring hand on Fraser's leg. "He has to get through me first to get to you."

Fraser looked at Ray and something registered in his head. "You punched me…"

"What? I've never punched you." Ray couldn't hide the smile. It was really coming back now. "When?" he asked Fraser.

"Before you almost drowned… we were going to put an end to our partnership and you… you punched me, Ray. That's not buddies."