11.49, Hospital Wing
Well, aren't I graceful? I managed to fall right out of the tree and it was all Remus' fault!
11.50
Alright, maybe it wasn't really his fault. I was laughing too hard and I fell off the branch and I didn't really realise that I was falling until I was halfway to the ground.
11.51
I managed to break my left arm, which I'm happy about, because if it was my right, I wouldn't be writing!
11.52
Right... Writing... Haha!
11.55
Waiting for Madame Poppy-doodles.
11.56
Yes, I did just call Madame Pomfrey "Poppy-doodles." Sounds much more pleasant and overall less severe, you know?
11.58
I could've nicknamed her Madame Poopy-sniffles, you know.
11.59
But, you know, that would be ridiculous.
12.13, Exiled to the Gryffindor Common Room
Remus says I'm a danger to myself, so I have to stay in the common room the rest of the day.
12.14
What a right load of bullocks!
12.15
Who does he think he is, telling me what to do? He's a boy, for Merlin's sake!
12.16
I am woman! I shall have no captor! Hear me roar!
12.17
ROOOOOOOOOOAR!!!!!!
12.18
For your information, I didn't really roar. I just wrote it.
12.20
Alright, I may have squeaked just a little bit.
12.22
I've replicated the squeak-like noise and I've decided it sounded a bit like a dying chipmunk.
12.23
Have you ever heard a chipmunk squeak? Of course not! They sort of, erm, chirp.
12.25
How about a dying ferret?
12.27
Right, well... Er, I'll go now.
12.29
You know, I'll be too busy sounding like a drying ferret to write.
3.16, Sneaking about in a Sneaky, Stealthy Way, En Route a la Kitchens
I managed to escape the common room. Lucky for me Mr. Lupin the Guard had fallen asleep and now I am heading down the le kitchens.
3.18
I've always wondered why, when you're hungry, your stomach kind of growls at you...
3.19
Why am I asking you? You're a bookThere will be no stomach growling here!
3.29, In the Kitchens
Have I ever told you the extent of my love and passion for food?
3.33
You've probably figured that out simply based upon how much extra time I spend in the kitchens.
3.34
Or you may think I only spend so much time here because I'm attracted to house elves.
3.35
I'm not, if you were wondering. As I believe I've said before, they bloody scary me.
3.39
Ack! Sirius has entered my lair!
3.40
... Sirius is sitting down across from me... Where is this going?
3.42
I think I'm going to spew!!!
3.43
He keeps winking at every house elf that scurries by!
3.45
Does he even realise he's sitting across from me? Has he completely forgotten how much he hates me?
3.49
Black, you do know who this is, don't you?
Yes. You're the only person I know who has their daily conversations in a bloody book.
Don't curse at my notebook!
Bloody, bloody, bloody.
That's mature, Black. Really mature.
I was only joking, Elizabeth.
What is with you, you twot!
I want to know why you didn't want to go to Hogsmeade with me.
Haven't we already been through this? I mean, honestly, Sirius. You're so full of yourself, it amazes me how much you it at each meal.
Clever.
Yes, I know. That's not why you're here, I don't believe you.
What were you doing, then?
None of your concern.
Want to go to Hogsmeade with me next time?
No.
Fancy a snog.
With you?
Yes. Who else would you fancy a snog with? Santa Claus? Merlin? ... Dumbledore?
No, no, and no. Nor do I want to snog you.
They tell me I'm talented.
Who's they?
Oh, you know.
Your fan club? Or your hate club?
... I have a hate club?
Yeah. All the girls you've broken up with. Did you really expect them to still love you?
Right, well. You know where to find me should you ever need some Sirius Loving.
4.02
He did not just say Sirius Loving.
4.03
The images in my brain are scarring me for life.
4.04
Stop, brain, stop! No more kinky thoughts!
4.07
Not that I'm imagining myself with Sirius Black.
4.08
Oh no, certainly not.
4.10
Why does my brain have to be so confusing? I mean, I see Sirius and my mind goes blank except for the, "Hot, hot, hot!!" thoughts. He's a prick!
4.11
And I'm above fancying pricks like him. He's not even in my league...
4.12
I DO NOT FANCY HIM!
4.15
Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...
4.16
Ahahaha! Ponty Mython always cheers me up!
4.17
Or is it Monty Python?
4.18
... Or Mary Poppins?
4.20
I really don't know. It's just barmy and filled with hilarious whatnot.
5.34, Aimlessly Wandering the Halls
So... Bored...
5.35
Ow! I just ran into a suit of armour!
5.36
What is it with me today? Really!
5.37
Falling out of a tree, running into armour, making dying ferret noises...
5.39
I've gone all topsy-turvy!
5.40
I must consult the gang! Maybe I've been poisoned by Black, and that was why he was all chipper and such!
5.42
Or I'm very, very ill.
5.44
What if I have some obscure disease from the Dark Ages that neither wizard or muggle medicine can cure?!
5.46
I'm too young to die!!
5.49
... I beg of you, Merlin, spare me of your Arthurian wrath!
5.52
I suppose I should start writing my will...
5.54
Wait, but there is a dim light at the end of the corridor!
5.57, Climbing up the Stairs
I don't think I've ever attempted to write whilst going up stairs! I must record this as a new feat! Today is really looking up for m
5.59
Oh, come on, Karma!
6.00
Really, what did I do to get Karma's Knickers of Payback in a twist?
6.01
Nothing, I tell you!
6.03
What did I do to deserve tripping up the stairs on a moving staircase, which then stopped moving and I consequently landed, boob-to-foot on Remus Lupin in front of the entire House of Gryffindor?
6.04
Honestly!
6.09, En Route to Great Hall
I feel like an idiot.
6.10
Actually, as it were, I am an idiot, according to James.
6.11
He's such a lovely fellow, isn't he?
6.14, Great Hall, Dinner, Avec le Gang
Yes! Made it down to the Gryffindor Table without an incidents! Maybe Karma got bored of me. It's understandable, though. I'd be bored of me too. Anyway, Lily is busy ranting and raving about James again. All her talking about him really does come off as her actually liking him. I must alert her right away.
6.17
Apparently, for all that I talk about Remus, it's lead the entire female population of Hogwarts to the conclusion that I fancy him. Which I've said on countless occasions that I don't.
6.19
He's on the Last Resort list, though.
6.20
Although I suppose he can also go on the List of Potential Possibles, which is really a step above the Last Resort list.
6.21
Argh! I'm promoting Lily's statement about me talking about Remus!
6.22
Yeesh, why do I so often find my mind wandering to him?
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Sorry it's been so long! School is really hectic and such. You all can thank taliapony for this post. I wrote it up in an hour, so, if there are misspellings, forgive me. I'll try to fix anything I notice. And also forgive me if it isn't up to the funniness-par. Yeah... Anyway, as always, thank you so much for reading! And I sincerely apologize for my lack of updates. I hope you all are having fun in school and aren't too stressed out yet. The "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" quote obviously belongs to the brilliant, brilliant men behind Monty Python. And a thank you to Ms. Rowling for letting fans like me borrow from her work. I hope you enjoyed it and I can't wait for your reviews. Which means, please, please, please, please review as much as you possibly can! I'll try to have another update out next weekend, but who knows. Keep reading!
