A/N: Okay, so I've been away for a while, completely had school work getting on top of me. I handed in one piece of history coursework and immediately was set another worth twice the marks and due in half the time. Ugh. Anyways, I've gotten that out of the way (hooray!) and while updates will still be sporadic (I have my final art coursework to be working on), there won't be as big gaps between them as there was this time. (: How is everyone? I'm glad to hear there are a lot of Kurt and Mr. Schuester fans here, my fellow Gleeks. (': Don't you all just wish we had Glee Clubs in the UK, for the UK readers of this fic? Honestly. The song for this chapter is 'Alive With The Glory Of Love' by Say Anything, just because it fits remarkably well and is just generally awesome. Anyways, here is a double/bumper chapter to make up for the big gap, I hope you enjoy it - lots of juicy developments. (;


She just couldn't stop crying.

Her arms were curled around her stomach, now large and protruding with her child, and she rested her head on her knees, exhausted from shedding so many tears in so little time.

It was no fault of his, or hers, or anything. Just this unbelievable sadness that had swept over her, knocking her breath out and leaving her broken on the floor. God, she was starting to look like him. Her skin was turning light blue, and glistened subtly in the light of the bathroom, and every day it was like more colour drained out of her eyes, desaturating her gaze with every passing hour.

She hoped he wouldn't find her here, like this, just yet. He'd been noticing the changes in her appearance, and always kissed her skin gently, calling it 'part of the process', but now everything was changing and the only thing keeping her rooted to the earth was the child nudging her from within.

She stroked her stomach soothingly, as the baby tentatively moved, as if it was worried about her. "Shhh," she said, "it's all fine. I'm fine now." She wondered how she was going to get up, as she seemed stuck, but soon she heaved herself up, running her hands over her bump with a watery smile, "Just like your father. Always checking up on me."

"Cath?"

It was him. She opened the door, and smiled at him, still hugging her stomach, "Ianto here?"

"Yep. Brought Gwen Cooper-Williams with him, too."

"Right. Okay. Well, we'll get this sorted then."

He held out his hand, and she felt a bizarre nostalgia; it was like the day he'd brought her back, had held her hand through it all. He would always bring her back. She slid her hand into his, and he pulled her to him to kiss her hair. His skin was no longer so cold to her; she guessed she was just getting colder.

Soon, she thought, rubbing her tummy. Soon.


Earlier that day…

"I don't want you to go."

Egad, Ianto thought, turning to his boss while he re-did his tie. Jack had yanked him into a kiss with it, and now it was skewed. Jack's hang-dog expression really did nothing to improve the situation.

"You realize I have to," he said, turning back to the mirror to check that it was perfectly centre. He idly smoothed his hair again, gaze lingering a little too long on Charlton, whom he could see working in the reflection of the mirror. Wearing black, as ever, Ianto mused that maybe today, he looked especially good. Unfair, unfair, unfair, his heart beat, and blinking rapidly, he turned back to Jack.

Putting his hands on Jack's shoulders and squeezing reassuringly, he smiled slightly, "Gwen and I are only going so you don't have to. I know you don't like spending time there. But this is a very specific problem that we need to sort out, so I have to go."

"I still don't want you to," Jack pouted slightly, "but I guess I have to let that slide."

Ianto grinned, patting Jack's cheek, "Good man. I'll only be gone for a day."

Jack paused, before grinning, "That movie sure was fun, eh Ianto?"

"Just yet another cinema I can't go into again with you, Jack."

The pair left Jack's office, and Ianto tried not to notice how Charlton's eyes flicked to him somewhat expectantly. He wasn't sure what the question in the other man's eyes was asking. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to answer it. He looked down, then towards Gwen, proffering his arm.

"Gwen Cooper-Williams," he said, with a smile.

"Ianto Jones," she replied, linking her arm through his, "Shall we depart?"

"Yes," he admitted, "and by the way, I'm driving."

She elbowed him sharply, before waving to the rest of the team. Ianto cast his eye around at his teammates as they left; Daria looking up from analyzing the man's remains and Jack raising his eyebrows with a slight smile. Charlton looked steadily at the pair of them, impassive, and his stomach clenched.

"Well, Gwen," Ianto said, semi-nervously, "Funny story. The Basement's gotten itself into a…pickle."

Her eyes immediately narrowed, "What have you been hiding from everyone, Ianto?"

More than you think, Gwen, he sighed inwardly. Much more than you think.


"Well, we're off to yoga, then, Jack," Daria smiled, looking up at their leader, "if you're sure you won't be lonely."

"No, that's fine," Jack retorted, with a wink, "I've got that picture of you to keep me company, if you know what I mean. That hot ID picture, with the bruising and split eyebrow. Damn sexy."

"Don't miss us too much Jack," she grinned, before following Charlton, who was watching her amusedly.

It was difficult for him nowadays, admittedly. Since Ianto had thrown himself at him, Charlton had felt as if there was something left unsaid between them. The tension was there, as per, but there was something off in the way Ianto was avoiding his gaze. This was past embarrassment; it was bordering on fear.

What he had done to make Ianto frightened was a mystery, but there wasn't much he could do. Turning to Daria, he sighed dolefully, "Daria. I need to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Have you ever fallen for someone completely inappropriate?"

"You mean Ianto? No, can't say that he's my type," Charlton stared at her, slack-jawed, as she continued, "Charlton, there's clearly something very complicated going on there. You shouldn't be after him –"

"– No! Good grief, no, I'm not pursuing him like some sex-crazed lech," Charlton interrupted, frantically waving his hands in the vague hope of explaining, "I would never do that, with him being with Jack and all. It's not appropriate."

"Charlton, feeling that way is sometimes not appropriate. We sometimes fall for the wrong people," Daria said, reassuringly, "it's just one of the quirks of human nature. How does he feel about you?"

"Goodness, who knows?" he sighed, scratching his head absently, "We had a strange moment, in the SUV once, but I was the one that backed off. And since then it's like he's been afraid to even look at me."

"Well, then there's definitely something happening in Ianto's mind right now. Look, Charlton, he's very delicate. I'm under oath so I can't tell you anything about why he's delicate, other than what you already know, but watch him, okay?"

She sighed, pulling back her bangs and pinning them away from her face, "Lord knows Torchwood is already dramatic enough."


Well, she wasn't expecting this.

Ianto had started looking shifty about 10 minutes before the Officials had entered the room; she guessed he heard their approach long before she did. They moved stealthily, even in the Basement.

Agent Learner had come in, and that was fine. He was in his human form, but looked distinctly uneasy. Gwen frowned, and he opened his hands to her in a pleading gesture.

"Please don't judge too much."

Then Cath had shuffled in, and Gwen's mouth fell open in shock. Cath's skin had taken on a blue tinge, and glinted in the low light of the room, a muted form of Learner's Umbreyta skin. Her eyes, once dark, alarmingly so, seemed grey, faded, nearer to white than their usual brown. Her hair was as vivid red as usual, but she had cut it shorter, and it curled loosely around her chin, more relaxed than its usual static cloud.

"…oh. Wow," Gwen said, moving her hands to her own stomach, "I see your problem."

This drew a smile from the other woman, who laughed weakly, "You're telling me."

"…um," Learner started, voice croaky from lack of use, "Ianto, would you like to talk in the next room? I don't think Cath's really in any condition to talk," as he spoke, Cath sat down wearily on the floor, with a sigh, "and could really use some like-minded company right now."

"Well, if you think that's best," Ianto said, and turned to Gwen, smiling apologetically, "You don't mind, right?"

Still staring in disbelief at Cath, Gwen took a seat, on the floor, opposite her, "No. That's fine, Ianto."

The two men departed to the next room, and Cath exhaled gustily in relief, "I don't feel the same way as I used to. Is that normal?"

Frowning, Gwen questioned, "In what way?"

"I don't feel as…non-human. I feel closer to who I was before I, well, died."

Noting that Cath's speech was less formal, less erratic, and more casual and relaxed, Gwen allowed herself to uncoil from her tense posture, "I suppose you would, really. Having a baby is a very natural thing. How far along are you?"

"Well. It's hard to tell. Apparently our child will mature at a different rate, to a norm---I mean, human child. I'm about half-way, he says," Cath explained, rubbing her stomach in discomfort, "I'm getting to the stage where moving is getting difficult. I am still…quiet, when I move, but I can't move for as long, or as easily."

Gwen frowned, looking carefully at the young woman. Cath was looking down at her bump with a slight frown creasing the space between her eyebrows, trailing a finger in a swirl around her belly button. Pregnancy seemed to suit her, even if it was a slightly different kind of pregnancy. Suddenly it hit her, "Cath…why is it that you're starting to look more and more like Learner?"

A single tear traced its way down her cheek, "I could go either way, he says. All of the humans that got pregnant by Umbreyta, in the 'literature'," she rolled her eyes, sniffing, "turned into one. But I wasn't very human when we conceived this child, so I could go either way."

It struck Gwen that 'either way' could mean anything in this context. As if reading her mind – in fact, she probably had – Cath looked up. "I mean, I could die. Or I could revert to how I was when I was fully human," she said, with a sigh, "and I don't know how I feel about that."

Gwen felt her brow crease with worry for the younger girl, and moved closer to Cath, putting an arm around her, "Oh, cariad, I'm sure he'd do anything for you. Here, you've got all the medical equipment you'd need. He'll make sure everything is fine, I'm sure. He loves you, right?"

There was a sniff, and a brief nod, before Cath said, voice terse, "Although sometimes I wonder if it's just obligation now. I'm having his child so he has to love me," She wiped her eyes with the balls of her hands, looking Gwen fully in the eyes, "I don't want to bring up my child in this place. I don't know what they'll be like, I don't even know the gender yet…but this is no place for my child. I'm not sure he understands that."

That was more familiar than she cared to think. Gwen blinked tears out of glassy green eyes and sighed, "Oh, love, I understand that more than you'd think. Rhys doesn't want me working for Torchwood when I have the baby. But Jack doesn't understand why that is. It sucks you up and spits you out, this life."

"I know. I've lived it for 25 years," Cath said, "I'm meant to be 45. I'm meant to have had my family, and be settled down with a husband, paying school fees and eating as much as I want. Now that I'm…pregnant," she forced the word out, "…I feel so much closer to the girl I was before all of this, and I don't want to let that go. You know the baby is forcing the tattoos off of me?"

Now that Cath had mentioned it, Gwen took the time to study the Official's exposed limps. The ink had faded, now a strange, patchy grey colour. She frowned, "How's that, then?"

"Every morning I wake up and a little more of the ink has seeped out of my skin. I'd expect it to be gone by the time I have the baby," she smiled, twisting a lock of hair in one hand, "and funnily I don't feel sad about that. It's like Agent Catherine is being forced out of me, bit by bit. Umbreyta skin can't be tattooed, apparently, but this feels like I'm turning back to just Cath. I hear Agent Catherine, sometimes, but I ignore her. Well, I can now."

Before Gwen could question Cath as to what that meant, Ianto and Learner emerged from the other room. Ianto looked cool and calm, but Learner looked distinctly nervous, twitching with anxious ticks. Ianto proffered his hand to her, and she smiled at him, accepting the help up, "Are we off, then?"

"Why yes. Learner and I have made arrangements," he said, "and Catherine's maternity plan has been sorted out. It is negotiable, if she wants more time." Ianto said the last part carefully, as though not to offend the two pregnant women present. She watched Cath get up carefully, with a huff of difficult breath, and frowned as Learner offered a hand too late.

"She prefers Cath," corrected Gwen, idly, before turning to the 'younger' woman, and hugging her, aligning herself so that there was room for their respective stomachs.

"Be careful," she whispered, into Cath's ear, "Take care of yourself. You know how to find me, I'll bet."

Wordlessly, Cath nodded, and stepped back into Learner's arms. Ianto and Gwen turned and started up the long walk back to the real world.


"So what did you and Cath talk about, while Learner and I were…negotiating?" Ianto said, choosing his words carefully. The talk with Learner had been terse at best. He sat opposite Gwen, watching her devour her pasta eagerly, and wondering at how pregnancy really did change appetites.

"Oh, well, being pregnant," she mumbled, through a mouthful of tagliatelle, "and how that works. She's having a harder time than me."

That much was definitely true. Something about Gwen seemed off since she'd spoken to the pregnant Official, and he wasn't going to push her for information. She'd questioned about his and Learner's meeting, and he hadn't let anything slip out, so there was really no use being a hypocrite.

He was already in the wrong for so many things, anyways.

"Gwen…" he began. Her green eyes flicked up to meet his, "I need to tell someone this. Charlton and I…we nearly kissed." God, 'we nearly kissed'…what was he, 14? He inwardly winced at his ineptitude at phrasing things, and waited for her reaction.

His colleague put down her knife and fork, and dabbed at her mouth with the napkin, before folding her hands in front of her and raising one eyebrow, "So, that's what this is about. Who started it?"

Now that hit him hard. He frowned, leaning his chin on the heel of his hand, and sighed, laughing slightly, "I guess me. He was asleep and I could hear his dreams, when I was driving him home after that final Rift spike. He wanted to, but I don't…I don't think he would have acted on it. He shot me down, you know."

At this, Gwen burst out laughing, "He shot you down? My my Ianto, looks like you've met your match," her expression softened, and she took his other hand, rubbing her thumb over the junction of veins on his wrist. In spite of himself, Ianto shivered – the touch echoed back to when he was brought back to life, when Catherine hummed happily at the sight of his moving blood.

"What about Jack?"

His head snapped up, and he felt like crying when he replied honestly, "What about Jack? Gwen, I don't know. Since I…came back, he's been funny with me. The most we've done is make out and I'm hardly the most carnal person in Torchwood, but even I would really like for things to be the way they were."

A brief smile flicked to Gwen's lips, "Back when you just shagged in greenhouses?"

Ianto gave her a look, and she shrank back, laughing, "Okay, okay. Look, Ianto, I think you need to be careful about all of this. I've been the cheater and believe me, it's not a place you want to be."

"No!" Taken aback, he tried to correct her, "I don't have any plans to shag him anytime soon! Gwen, you know…the way I feel about Jack. It's different to anything in this world. But…I don't know if the playing field is even. Charlton is in love with me despite all of the things he knows about me. He's such a good person he turned me down when I could smell the want on him. It scares me, the fact that he feels that way about me, even now I'm so…different. It would be a nice change, to be the one being pursued, and not the pursuer."

Something in Gwen's expression was funny, so he questioned, "What?" frowning slightly.

"He loves you?"

Wordlessly Ianto nodded. Gwen sighed, putting her face in her hands, "God help us. Ianto, he's had a hard life, hard as yours in many ways. Don't make it worse by playing with his feelings. You've been avoiding him, right?" Ianto nodded again. "Well then, you need to stop that. Talk to him. Tell him what is going on with you, or he'll just be miserable."

"Ma'am, yes ma'am!" Ianto smiled, a bittersweet twist of his lips, "Now, would you like dessert?"

She started to search over the dessert menu, and Ianto desperately tried to force his plan of action out of his head.


"Hey."

Oh god. It was Ianto. Charlton cursed inwardly, wondering why he'd picked today of all days to work late. He'd only just left, and was planning on walking the long route home, too tired to drive.

"Ianto. Hi."

The other man seemed anxious, hands pushed into his coat pockets. Charlton watched as one hand came out to scratch the back of Ianto's neck, and idly he longed to trace the soft buzz cut there. He pushed his own hands into the pockets of his jeans, to fight the cold of the evening air.

"Do you mind if I walk with you? I live a couple of streets away from you, actually."

"Really? Well, okay, I guess."

They walked for a lot of the way in complete silence, and Charlton felt thankful for the slight barrier his hood put between them. Finally Ianto spoke up, quiet but measured, nervousness clear in his Welsh vowels.

"I've been avoiding you."

"I know."

His answer had come quickly, sharply, staccato from his lips, but he found it hard to be sorry about it.

"Don't you want to know why?"

They'd reached his building. At this point, Charlton really felt like saying, 'No, not really,' but honestly his curiosity was getting the better of him. Pulling his keys from his worn leather satchel, listening to the tiny music they produced when they clashed together, he tilted his head, and turned to face Ianto, sarcastic, "I suppose so."

All of a sudden, Ianto was kissing him. Instinctively his arms linked around the Welshman's neck, pulling him closer. He felt Ianto's arms tight around his waist, fingers splayed against his ribs, and wondered how they'd got there. He let Ianto push him against the door to his apartment building, and deepen the kiss, and just as Charlton thought that if he opened his eyes he might see the Universe or possibly God,

Ianto
pulled
away.

The lightest brush of fingers against his reddened lips; a gentle kiss pressed to his jawbone; and Ianto simply said, "That's why," and walked off down the road, leaving Charlton with a thudding heart and one hundred more questions on his mind.