8.24

... Really? You're a... A werewolf?

Yes.

Why haven't you told me before now?

I don't know. I guess I'd rather you be under the impression that I have a Killer Bunny Rabbit.

Right. Well, erm... I'm still not going to tell anyone, just so you know.

I know you won't.

So... About how Sirius and I were snogging...

Yeah?

I didn't want him to...

Right.

8.28

... He didn't sound to convinced of my not wanting to be snogged.

8.29

Oh well. I am off to clip-clop!!!

8.37, Some Random Corridor (I Know Not Where)

What's this? The Slytherins are exposing themselves to the light of day? CRAZY!

8.38

... It's Snape-adoodle!

8.39

He needs to wash his hair... And fix his nose...

8.40

He's scowling at me!

8.41

That barmy cow!

8.42

You know, hot pink really is his colour, I think.

8.45

AHAHAHA!!!!

8.46

His hair is pink! And he doesn't even know it!

8.47

I have just provided the whole student body of Hogwarts (and probably Professor Dumbledore) with some entertainment at the expense of the school's biggest git.

8.48

Well, actually, Sirius is the biggest git.

8.49

Right. Anyway...

8.59, Library, At a Table, Near the Back

So, I'm bored.

9.01

I suppose I could do some research for my Ancient Runes assignment.

9.02

Ha! Yeah right!

9.03

I shall avoid completing my homework at all costs.

9.04

I suppose I could compose my "Fetchez la Vache" song...

9.05

What's a catchy tune?

9.06

... "Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me!" That's catchy! "We plunder, we pillage, we rifle, we loot, drink up me hearties, YO HO! Blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, drink up me hearties, YO HO!"

9.07

Let's see... How could it fit?

9.08

"Fetchez, oh, fetchez, oh, fetchez la vache, drink up the milk, MOO MOO! Oh fetchez, oh fetchez, oh fetchez la vache, Fetchez la vache, MOO MOO! Fetchez, fetchez, la vache for me and you!"

9.11

I... I...

9.12

I love it!!!!!

9.13

I must send it to everyone in school!

9.15, Heading to the Owlery

I have magically reproduced the song on lots of paper... But now it's stuck in my head...

9.16

Blast! You stupid song! Get out of my head!!

9.25, At the Owlery

I have dispatched every owl to deliver the arrangement.

9.26

This may take awhile...

9.27

It would probably go a lot faster if I had swallows...

9.28

You know, "Fetchez la Vache: The Song," sounds like a drinking tune.

9.29

Not that I drink, you know.

9.30

Because that would be, er, bad.

9.31

Right. Well, I think I'm going to send out a call for all swallows in the vicinity to come yonder and deliver these papers for me.

9.32

I have bird-calling ultrasound skills, didn't you know?

9.34

What the bloody...?

9.35

There's a huge mass of birds flying through the sky!

9.36

I really do have skills!!!

9.37

Wait... Those aren't swallows...

9.38

They're pigeons!

9.39

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

9.40

Run for cover!!! Incoming pigeons!!

9.41

... Man, they poop a lot.

9.42

More than owls, I think.

9.43

... Why are they looking at me?

9.44

It's like they want something...

9.46

I wonder if these pigeons are like those messenger pigeons...

9.47

I'm gonna find out!

9.55

Wow. They are messenger pigeons!

9.56

Look at them go! (Not that you can actually see, journal.)

9.58

Well, I'm a wee bit bored. Again.

9.59, Sitting on a Non-Poop Covered Area

I suppose I ought to think about Remus' situation...

10.01

Well, honestly, I don't see why he didn't tell me sooner. I mean, it's not as though I'm just going to tell anyone. Actually, I think his fellow Marauders would be more likely. Especially Sirius, dropping hints so blatantly as he did.

10.03

Though I feel right stupid having not put more thought into it.

10.04

But, we've been mates for such a long time... Am I untrustworthy?

10.05

I never told anyone about Bridget's odd fascination with Severus Snape... Or how Anne stuffs her bra so she looks more curvaceous. (Although I bet her Ravenclaw Bed Buddy knows all about that now... But maybe she actually grew a bosom over the summer... I don't know- I don't bother to check these things.)

10.06

Lily, well, she used to be mates with Snape... Which kind of inspired Bridget's obsession with him last year.

10.07

Yeah, she was totally digging the whole, "dark, brooding, mysterious, unkempt" look.

10.08

Which, I must say, is repulsive.

10.09

Although sometimes I think he just needs a hug.

10.10

Only problem is no one would want to do that job, now would they?

10.13

The owls are returning!

10.14

I probably should flee before they decide to let their bowels do as they bloody please...

10.34, Back at the Common Room

Ew. It's Black...

10.35

Someone ought to smack him. He kind of deserves it being the wanker that he is.

10.36

You know, it's not decent to just snog innocent girls who have never snogged before!!

10.37

I could have snogged someone that I actually wanted to snog.

10.38

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

10.39

I'm Sirius Black. I can snog and shag whoever I very well please because I'm Hogwarts' Resident Sex God. And there's nothing poor, innocent little girls like Elizabeth Reynolds can do about it, because, you know what? I'm going to snog her anyway and she's going to like it!

10.41

... Except I didn't really like his snogging me...

10.42

Honestly.

10.43

He keeps looking at me.

10.44

What a prick.

10.45

It's like I can hear his thoughts running through my mind...

10.46

Something along the lines of: "Oh yes, Elizabeth. You know I see you. I'm watching you now. And I'm going to keep watching you because I know it creeps you out. And after I'm done watching you for a time, I'm going to saunter in my incredibly sexy way over to you and then I'm going to snog the daylights out of you. Oh yes, Elizabeth. I'm still watching you..."

10.47

GRAH!!!!

10.50, Sitting at a Table

I feel very satisfied now.

10.51

He so deserved to be slapped.

10.52

If only you could see my smugness right now...

10.53

You don't even know, journal.

10.54

Blah blah, blah blah blah, and really bad eggs... Drink up me hearties, YO HO! Yo ho, yo ho, a slapper's life for me.

--------------------------------------

I'm am the Updating Queen this weekend! Sweet! As always, J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter universe, Monty Python owns "Fetchez la vache," and Disney owns the rights to "Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me." Anyway, if you haven't noticed, the 100th review has been made. Personally, I find this very exciting, because it means I have some very loyal readers, and people actually like the story! So, this update is dedicated to all my lovely readers. Hopefully "Fetchez la Vache: The Song" will be stuck in your head and you will share it with all your friends. Thanks for reading and keep reviewing!! Much love.