I have had this chapter on the go for months it's actually quite ridiculous how long it's taken me!! All I can say is that I have a lot going on in my life right now so I'm never going to be able to update the following week but hopefully the next chapter will be up before the end of January!

Anyway, this chapter is my Christmas present to anyone still reading – and if you are; a review would be a lovely present back!

Merry Christmas!!

Much love, Mel xx

Chapter Eleven

Lily sat in the kitchen at Potter Manor, quite alone and nursing a large mug of coffee as she stared broodingly into its murky depths. She had been to visit her mother earlier that day to inform her of her father's funeral arrangements, Petunia having grudgingly written to her about it. Lily hadn't been too heartened by the correspondence for Petunia had made it quite clear that she had only told Lily about the funeral because she needed to let their mother know.

Having made the necessary arrangements for her mother to leave the hospital for the funeral (which had taken most of the morning), Lily was now exhausted. She rubbed her eyes half heartedly and took a large gulp of coffee. She was rather lonely; she couldn't even guess where James was and his parents were almost never in the house … she had never managed to get out of James what they did – her curiosity was certainly mounting.

Just when she was beginning to despair at the silence enveloping her she heard the front door slam shut, followed closely by a great shout of laughter and a babble of voices. Lily dropped her head down onto her arms; James was one thing but she didn't really think she was in the mood for the full marauder experience. Too late, she thought miserably, as the voices got louder and the kitchen door opened.

"Lily?"

It was James. She heard a thump.

"Are you asleep?" He asked uncertainly.

She heard stifled laughter and nearly groaned as she slowly lifted her head up.

"No." She said unnecessarily.

"Cool." Said James.

Lily rolled her eyes at him and then turned her head to realise that she had guessed correctly and all the marauders were indeed present.

She suddenly felt inexplicably nervous, "Right. Well, I'm going to –"

"Come play Quidditch with us?" James interrupted.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Come on, it'll be fun."

She looked uncertainly between them, "I don't really play…"

"Everyone plays." Said James and he waved his hand dismissively while getting to his feet, "You can borrow my old broom." He said as if settling the matter. He moved towards the door then turned around when he realised that Lily wasn't following him. He took a few steps back and extended his hand to her, "Coming?"

Lily looked at him for a moment, before slowly putting her hand in his, allowing him to pull her to her feet. "I must be mad." She muttered. James must have heard her for he grinned slyly at her before tugging her out of the door, keeping a firm grip on her hand. It wasn't so bad, Lily thought to herself as she let herself be led.

----------------

This is awful! Lily thought to herself as she stood with her arms crossed on James's private mini Quidditch pitch, watching the boys flying above her.

When James had offered to help her mount her broom she had denied, feeling slightly horrified, and said she would be right behind him … but she had bottled out. Truth be told, she hadn't been on a broom in years and the prospect completely and utterly terrified her – not that she was about to admit that to James. Now, she realised with mounting panic, James had noticed that she was still on the ground and was heading down to her. With her mouth slightly open, shed watched as James performed a steep dive and came to a stop, hovering at her level just in front of her. Show off.

"What's up?" He asked with a small smile.

"Nothing." She replied a little too quickly.

James raised an eyebrow, "Why aren't you on the broom then?"

"Don't rush me."

James raised his eyebrow even further. Lily stared at him.

"Lily." He started slowly, "You're not … scared, are you?"

"What? Scared? No, nope, not me, I'm fine." She said quickly.

James hopped nimbly off his broom. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise."

"Realise what?"

"That you're scared of flying."

"I'm not scared of flying!"

"Why haven't you got on your broom yet then?" He asked again.

"Because …" She muttered.

James chuckled and Lily looked mortified.

"Don't! Don't laugh at me!"

James smiled, "I'm sorry." He put his hands palm out in front of him, "And I'm sorry I assumed you would want to play Quidditch." Lily looked so worried that he reached out and took her hands in his own, "It's okay."

"It's not. I'm really embarrassed … I haven't actually been on a broom since first year." She confessed, avoiding his gaze.

"Really?"

It was Lily's turn to smile at the incredulity in his voice, "Really."

"But-but, why? Why wouldn't you want to fly?"

"I just like to keep my feet firmly on the ground."

"Have you actually flown, Lily?"

"I – well… not properly…"

"Then how can you know you won't like it?" Asked James with something of a triumphant expression on his face.

"Well I – I just know, alright?"

James grinned, "No, not alright."

"James."

"Flying is amazing, Lily … let me teach you."

"What?!" Lily exclaimed.

"I'll teach you," James repeated, "Where's that broom?"

"No way!"

"Yes, way." Said James, continuing to grin.

"There is no way you're getting me on that broom, James Potter. Especially not with your friends watching." She cast her eyes skyward.

James followed her gaze to where his three friends were chucking a quaffle around, "They're not watching."

"I don't care!"

"Oi, James!" Sirius bellowed, "Get up here!"

"Coming!" James yelled back and then turned to face Lily.

"No." She said quickly.

James shook his head sadly, "You're a stubborn girl, Evans – but I'll break you." He winked at her and then flew off.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" She yelled after him but got no response, "Boys…" She muttered to herself.

------------------------------------------------------------

James found Lily on the porch later that evening; he plopped down next to her and watched her until she turned her head.

"Stop staring at me!" She said.

"Nope."

"James!"

"Yes?"

Lily opened her mouth, shut it again and then shook her head, "Have your friends gone?"

"Yep."

Lily paused, "Are your parents home?"

"Nope."

Lily stared at him, he was grinning incessantly, "Stop it!"

"Nope."

"You are infuriating." She told him.

James's grin widened, "I try."

Lily groaned, "What do I need to do to get you to stop?"

"Fly with me." He said promptly and produced his broom.

"What – with you … on there?" She said slowly.

"Yep." James said cheerfully.

"No …"

"Oh go on." He said, nudging her playfully, "I promise I won't let you fall."

"I don't…"

"How can you say you don't like flying if you've never experienced it?" James said seriously, "And this way you won't have to do anything – just sit there … I would never let anything happen to you Lily, I promise you, you're safe with me."

"Why do you want me to so much?" Asked Lily, stalling for time.

"Because." His grin was back. He stood up and held his hand out to her wordlessly. She stared at it for a moment before looking at his face, once she had looked into his eyes she knew she had given in … she slipped her hand into his and nearly fainted when he gently pulled her up.

He mounted the broom and looked round at Lily, "Hop on behind me." He instructed.

Lily took a deep breath and climbed, non too gently, onto the broom behind James and wrapped her arms very tightly around him. James chuckled and Lily could feel it reverberating though her, they were that close together. She shivered.

"Ready?" James said over his shoulder.

"No!" Said Lily, panicking, but it was too late for James had already kicked off the ground and was rising steadily into the air.

"Oh my gosh." Said Lily as she watched the ground fall away from them, "James!"

"Relax, Lily." He called back to her.

"I can't!" She shouted and tightened her grip on him.

James slowed to a stop in the air and turned his head to look at her.

"What are you doing?" She shrieked.

"Flying." James laughed, "Lily. Just breathe." He took one of his hands off the broom and prised one of her hands off of him so he could entwine them together. He gave her hand a squeeze, "Look at the view." He said simply.

Lily slowly turned her had, maintaining her death grip on James as she did so, and gasped as she took the landscape in, "wow." She said quietly.

"Wow indeed." Confirmed James before attempting, and failing, to tug his hand out of her grip, "Can I have my hand back? Only I sort of need it."

Lily released his hand immediately and turned bright red, burying her face in James's back to hide it. A few seconds later she felt her stomach lurch unpleasantly and lifted her head to see that James had pulled into a shallow dive. Her eyes widened, but before she could shriek, she stopped herself and realised that she was actually rather enjoying it. She smiled at the revelation.

"Okay, Lily?" Shouted James.

"Actually, yeah." She replied.

"Good!"

James flew another circuit, which Lily was beginning to enjoy, and then announced that he was taking her down. As they reached the safety of the ground Lily got off the broom and wobbled unsteadily on her feet, grabbing James's arm for support.

"Alright?" He asked, looking sideways at her.

Lily nodded, "Just about."

James chuckled, "Did you enjoy it?" He asked slyly.

Lily pulled a face at him, "It wasn't too bad…"

James simply laughed and put an arm casually around her shoulder, steering her back to the house.

-------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure you don't want any breakfast?" Asked James anxiously, and when Lily shook her head wordlessly he walked over to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

It was the day of the funeral and Lily was stood in front of a mirror staring at her reflection and wondering if she really looked that pale and drawn. She screwed her nose up and turned around, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she did so.

"I don't think I can do this." Said Lily very quietly.

James looked at her with sad eyes, "I know its hard Lily, but you will get through this."

Lily shook her head, annoyed with herself at the sudden tears in her eyes. James put his arms around her and held her close to him; Lily screwed her eyes up to stop the tears from falling and grabbed hold of him. Holding onto him as if he was the only thing that was stopping her from falling.

After a few comforting minutes, Lily pulled back slightly from James and looked him in the eye.

"James, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Will you come with me?" She asked hesitantly, scanning his face for a reaction. "Please." She added after noticing his hesitation, "I can't do this alone."

"What about your mum?"

"Well, she'll be there… but James, I just – I just…"

"It's okay." Said James, cutting her off, "I'll go with you."

Lily smiled slightly, "Thank you."

----------------------------------------

"Mum!" Lily cried as soon as she spotted her mother, and launched herself into her arms.

"Hello, Lily." Her mum whispered back, holding her tightly and stroking her hair gently.

"How are you mum?"

"Oh much better, thank you."

"She'll be discharged in a few days." Smiled the Healer who was accompanying Lily's mother.

"Oh, mum, that's great." Said Lily, pulling away from her mother.

She glanced up and noticed for the first time that Petunia was hovering nearby. She smiled at her but received a glare in return. Lily felt her smile slide off her face and averted her eyes across the room coming to rest on James, who was still standing somewhat awkwardly back near the door. She gestured to him to come over; he did so and was quickly at her side. She turned back to her mum.

"Mum, you remember James?"

"Of course. Hello dear."

"Hello, Mrs Evans."

"What's he doing here?" Hissed Petunia venomously.

"Petunia." Said her mother sharply, "Don't be rude."

Petunia fell silent but redirected her glare onto James who pretended not to notice.

-------------------------------

As the service began, Lily, sandwiched between her mother and James, took a few deep, calming breaths.Silently and discreetly, James took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze, Lily gripped his hand tightly in return and kept her eyes cast to the front, trying to ignore the loud sniffs coming from her left where Petunia sat next to her fiancée.

Friends were standing up to speak now, but Lily, who was concentrating hard on not breaking down in front of everyone, could barely hear the words above her own pounding heart. Then quite suddenly she felt guilt surging through her, a bubbling, unbidden force threatening to engulf her where she sat. She closed her eyes briefly and gripped James's hand even tighter, wanting to hold on to something real, someone who maintained she should feel no guilt for her father's death. James must have noticed the increased pressure for he closed any remaining distance between them and whispered in her ear, asking if she was okay. Lily found herself nodding automatically, her eyes fixed unseeingly ahead, the edges of her vision blurring slightly from unshed tears. Just when she thought she couldn't bear it any longer, she felt James pull his hand out of her grip and slide his arm around her back, settling it comfortingly around her waist. She sighed, almost inaudibly, and leant into James, lightly resting her head on his shoulder as the service continued.

----------------------------------------

As soon as the funeral party had reached her house, where her sister was holding the wake, Lily went straight to the corner where the drinks were and poured herself a scotch. James came up behind her and put a light hand on her hip.

"You want to go easy on that." He murmured, so that only she could hear.

"Bugger off, James, I'll do what I like." She snapped at him and moved away to sit on the sofa. She knocked back her drink and stared moodily into the glass, only looking up when her mum came and sat beside her.

"I'm being discharged on Friday – are you going to come and pick me up?"

Lily smiled and gave her mum a tight hug, "Of course I will, mum."

"I can't wait to get home – I'm sorry you and Petunia are at logger heads with each other."

Lily smiled sadly, "It's alright, mum – I'll come home when you do. Petunia's looking after the house while you're… away."

"Good." Smiled her mum, "Well I'd better get back now." She indicated the Healer who was beckoning to her, "I'll see you soon, sweetheart."

Lily watched her mum go and felt another wave of sadness sweep over her, she looked at her empty glass and then around the room until her roaming eyes found James. He was stood against a wall, hands deep in his pockets, just watching. She set the glass down and felt a small smile grace her face as she made her way over to him. When she reached him, she put her arm through his and leaned against him.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." She whispered.

James smiled at her, "It's already forgotten." He said softly.

They stood in silence for a moment, before Lily locked eyes with her sister.

"Oh no, she's coming over." She said, and James moved his head to watch her progress.

"Lily, take your boyfriend and get out of here." She said, without preamble, "I think you've stayed long enough."

"You can't –" James began angrily.

"It's okay, James," Lily said, cutting him off, "I want to go anyway." She finished, without looking directly at her sister.

"This isn't right," Said James, "It's your father's funeral … you two should be-"

"Don't you be giving me a lecture," Snapped Petunia, "I don't even know you and you shouldn't even be here!"

"He's here for me, Petunia," Interrupted Lily in a strained voice, "I've got just as much right to invite someone as you have! Now please, will you just… just leave me alone."

Petunia screwed up her face slightly but stalked off with her head held high. Lily turned back to James who was looking after her sister with distaste. She touched his arm to get his attention.

"Will you please take me back to yours?"

-------------------------------------

"Well wasn't that just a walk in the park." Said Lily sarcastically as they headed up to James's room ten minutes later.

"Your sister's something else." James agreed.

Lily flopped down on his bed and closed her eyes, "Ugh." She muttered.

After a moment of silence she cracked open an eye to see James still framed in the doorway, clutching two mugs of hot chocolate in a death grip.

"What are you doing, James?" She said, hauling herself back up into a sitting position, "You do realise you're still standing in the doorway?"

"What? Oh yeah…" He stepped in, shut the door and handed her, her drink before sitting down next to her.

"Thanks." She said, taking a sip, "This is so my comfort drink." She took another sip and turned to find James staring at her, "Oi!" She hit him on the arm and he winced, "Would you like to join me in reality?"

"Sorry Lil." He said then cracked a grin, "I'm all yours now."

"Good." She replied, and then shuffled closer so that she could lean against him.

"I'm completely and utterly yours." He murmured almost inaudibly.

Lily felt her heart beat quicker at his words and the warm arm that wrapped itself snugly around her. A silence fell between them and Lily closed her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart as they sat there listening to the rain pour outside.

"Hey," Said James finally, rocking them slightly to get her to open her eyes. "How's your mum doing?"

Lily pulled away so that she could look at him, "Oh. That's what I need to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"She's going to be discharged on Friday… so I'll be going home then… to look after her."

"Oh… well that's great news!" Said James with a smile.

"You don't sound that enthusiastic."

"I'm really happy that your mum's better, Lily, I am."

"But…"

"But what?"

"Come on, James…"

There was a pause and then James spoke quietly, "I'm going to miss you being around."

"Oh James," Lily leant over and wrapped her arms around him tightly, feeling him respond immediately. "I'm going to miss you too."

James pulled back slightly, "Really?"

Lily laughed and James couldn't help but grin as he saw her face light up.

"Of course I will! But we'll be back at school in a couple of weeks and you can come round and see me any time you like – I think my mum likes you." She teased.

"Well, how could she not?" Said James, striking a pose.

Lily laughed again, "Don't ask me that!"

"Hey!"

Lily stuck her tongue out at him before getting to her feet and announcing she was going to bed. She turned in the doorway and blew him a kiss before shutting the door softly behind her.