Chapter seven: Umbridge

Harry left home early the next morning, as was routine, to catch the six o'clock train to the Ministry. He apparated to Kings Cross station and walked briskly to the platform with a skip in his step.

He had left the house in such a good mood after making up with Ginny the night before that he had forgotten to pack some Muggle money for the train, and had to Confound the ticket collector, but even this could not extinguish the remnants of the euphoric feeling that had possessed him the night before.

He got off the train at a station in the very heart of London and merged into a crowd of besuited men and women, many of whom were carrying briefcases. He himself was wearing a plain, but well kept black cloak.

He hummed cheerfully under his breath and before long had arrived at the highly polished front doors of the Ministry of Magic, where a freckled man, similarly dressed, with ginger hair was lounging.

'Hiya Harry!' said Ron. 'You're late!'

'Only a few minutes,' Harry replied, grinning at his friend. 'I had to Confound the ticket collector.'

'Ahh, you should've come by Floo Powder...'

Together, the two of them pushed open the heavy front doors and walked inside. The interior of the Ministry was even grander than the outside, but Harry was well used to that by now. He and Ron had been Aurors for almost eighteen years. They walked down a gleaming hallway and past a gigantic golden fountain without batting an eyelid, and retreated into a lift, where several other wizards stood and a witch with the pointiest hat Harry had ever seen.

The doors closed, and the lift began its descent, down into the depths of the earth. By the time they reached level four, the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, everyone except Ron and Harry had left the lift, and when they exited at level two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Auror Headquarters, the lift was left completely empty.

'Well, here we are,' said Ron with a sigh. 'And look, it's raining.'

Harry looked out of the enchanted windows and saw that Ron was indeed right. Even though they were far underground, and above ground the Muggles were enjoying a fine day, here the view was dreary and rain sodden.

'Rain rain go away, come again another day...' he sang, and, to his amazement, it stopped. He grinned and slapped a bemused Ron playfully on the shoulder.

He was about to say something, possibly to explain his strange mood to his friend, when a paper plane made of pale violet zoomed out of an office and collided with his head.

'All right, all right, we're coming.' He muttered, grabbing the plane in mid air and unfolding it. He sighed as he read it, his good mood fast disappearing.

'What's up?' asked Ron, peering over Harry's shoulder. Harry passed him the creased paper gloomily.

Inter-departmental memo for Harry James Potter and Ronald Weasley,

It has come to our attention that there is a regurgitating toilet causing havoc in Tottenham Court Road. Please investigate immediately.

'Great,' muttered Ron. 'You know that's the fourth one this month?'

Harry knew it all too well. Regurgitating toilets were a pain, and served no real purpose. Harry had to admit that it was amusing to see the Muggles expressions when they went to the toilet and when they turned around to flush it all came back out again, but at the same time it caused a lot of trouble for the Ministry. Modifying peoples memories, etc...

It used to be down to the Magical Law Enforcement to fix the toilets, and arrest the culprits, but recently it had become the job of Aurors like Ron and Harry.

The trouble all started nineteen years ago, when Harry had defeated Lord Voldemort once and for all.

For a while, the Aurors had their hands full catching all the remaining Death Eaters and supporters of Voldemort, but once they had accomplished this, there was little more for them to do. Sure, there were still criminals out there, but not enough to keep the whole force of Aurors busy. As a result of this, many Aurors were fired, and only the best, most qualified ones like Harry and Ron were kept on.

Now they spent most of their time fixing biting doorknobs and more trivial matters, like the things Ron's father, Arthur Weasley used to do before he retired. This was hardly exciting work, and the Aurors, Ron and Harry especially, were beginning to feel that being an Auror wasn't so fun after all.

Ron and Harry were barely recognisable as they slouched into their office two hours later, due to the fact that they were covered from head to toe in poo.

'What did I do to deserve this?' Ron moaned, as he siphoned off the poo with his wand. 'What did I do?'

Harry, who was too preoccupied cleaning himself, did not reply. After a few minutes all of the poo was gone, but so had his good mood. And the rain had returned.

'This is crap.' Said Ron, now poo-free. 'Literally. I didn't sign up for all this shit.'

Harry had started to reprimand Ron for swearing but he was interrupted by the arrival of the pointy-hatted woman he had seen before.

'Good morning, gentlemen.' She said as she entered their office. 'Or is it?' She glanced at the clock, which read ten minutes to twelve. 'Just.' She smiled at Harry and Ron, who were staring at her in confused silence.

'Excuse me,' said Ron, coming to his wits first. 'But, who are you?'

'I am Grenelda,' said the lady in a sing-song voice. 'And you are?'

'Ron Weasley.' Said Ron.

'Ah Ronald, just the man I've been wanting to see,' The witch took a seat, and motioned to the two of them to sit down as well. Harry felt a pang of annoyance at being asked to sit down in his own office by an uninvited stranger, but did so anyway. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to like Grenelda much.

'The minister has recently hired me.' Said Grenelda, in answer to Harry and Ron's unanswered question. 'I am to be in charge of firing people at the Ministry if I think that they are unnecessary or not doing their job properly. Unfortunately you,' she addressed Ron specifically now, 'have caught my eye. It's nothing personal dear.' She stated, still in that annoying melodic voice, 'it's just that the Minister and I do not think that having so many Aurors is necessary. I am aware that he has already cut back on the number of employees recently, but I feel that a bit more... pruning... is in order.' She stressed the word 'pruning,' until it sounded almost like a purr. Harry felt a familiar hatred when he looked at her as someone else... she reminded him of someone... but who could it be?

'You're... you're... f-firing me?' Ron stuttered.

'Yes, dearie.' Said Grenelda in a sweet, sticky voice. 'As I said, the Minister feels-'

'I DON'T RUDDY WELL CARE WHAT THE MINISTER FEELS!' Yelled Ron, standing up and pulling out his wand. 'WHO ARE YOU TO COME IN HERE AND FIRE ME? WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO-'

'This does,' said the witch, looking supremely unconcerned by Ron's temper. She handed him a small piece of parchment, which read:

Ministry decree number 108,

I, the Minister of Magic, hereby give the Senior Leader of Firing and Investigating Employees, permission to fire members of staff at the Ministry, as she feels necessary, without any verbal or written warnings.

As soon as Ron had looked up from the parchment, Grenelda spoke.

'Well, I must be off then. You must clear out your stuff and be out of here by this time tomorrow. Good day, Mr Weasley.'

And then, completely ignoring Harry, she left the office, grabbing the piece of parchment on her way out. As she departed, Harry glanced at the parchment in her hand, he had not been able to see it while Ron was reading.

A cold, tingling chill settled over him, like that of the Dementor's. He knew where he had seen decrees like that before...

'Hey!' He yelled after the witch, who paused but did not turn around. 'What did you say your name was again?'

There was a silence, then;

'Miss Grenelda Umbridge, dear.'

Yes, I thought it was about time that I added a few characters of my own into the mix. Any true Harry Potter fans will know what 'Umbridge' means of course.

Well, I hope you liked this chapter, even with the immature regurgitating toilet scenes. Read and Review everyone, your comments are much appreciated. :-)