Chapter 6

The next day began the same as before. The nuclear sunrise shone beams of light through the homes of New Arlen, awakening the community. Passed out on the grass was Bill Dauterive, who had got carried away with drinking from the night before. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and carried himself back to his shack to drink away a hangover.

Hanks lawn was a mess. There were knocked over lawn chairs and beer cans littered through out the small patches of yellow grass. Hank stepped outside, yawning, and then groaning at the state of his lawn.

"God dang it" He muttered under his breathe. Even after the apocalypse, the sight of his front lawn so desecrated still irritated him. He returned inside to grab a sharpened stick, and began picking up beer cans. Ladybird ran over to greet him.

"Hey girl" He said, patting her head with his free hand. She barked.

"That's right girl, got to keep the lawn clean" He said to her. She looked at him with slight confusion, then barked again.

"Hank, what are you doing?" Peggy called from the doorway, holding a cup of coffee in each hand.

"Cleaning up the yard, it's a mess" Hank said while folding up a knocked over lawn chair.

"Oh, come on Hank, relax a little before you go out scavenging" Peggy called out, "Come inside, I'm making bacon and eggs, real eggs! not emu" She returned inside.

"Five more minutes" Hank called after her, but he quickly gave up. It had been so long since he tasted bacon.


Bobby awoke with a start to the sound of knocking on his window. He instinctively grabbed a loaded handgun beside his bed and aimed at the window before seeing that it was just Connie.

"Connie! You nearly made me shoot you!" Bobby squealed.

"Jesus Bobby, watch where you're aiming that thing!" Connie snarled back, "Come on, get up, my mom's on watch today, we can just hang out."

Bobby lowered the hand gun, "My Dad will probably want me to do something" he said sullenly.

"Come on , Bobby, Your Dad's already left to go scavenging"

Bobby's eyes brightened, "He did?"

"Yeah, come on, get up!" Connie said.

Bobby lay back down in his cot, "Nah, I think I'll sleep a little more, sleeps always good" He yawned, closing his eyes.

"Bobby, come on, we can go party!" Joseph appeared at the window, holding a six pack.

Bobby instantly sat up, "Well why didn't you say so!, Give me two minutes!"


The best place to get drunk in New Arlen was behind Bill's Shack. There was a clearing that was hidden behind some dead bushes and an old tree, tucked away close beside the trench. The trio moved quickly down the street. Luanne was sitting on the front steps of her trailer, smoking a meth pipe. Lucky had left earlier with the rest of the men to go scavenging. She waved at Bobby as he walked by, an expression of emptiness on her face. Bobby looked away uncomfortably.

"Luanne's hitting the pipe again" Joseph whispered.

"You should really talk to her about it" Connie said.

"Hey, it's not my place to say" Bobby argued back.

"But its your cousin , Bobby" Connie pleaded, "It's not healthy"

"There's nothing healthy to do here" Bobby said.

"He's got you there" Joseph added.

"You guy's are pathetic" Connie said, but didn't say any more on the topic.

Everyone in New Arlen knew about Luanne's meth addiction, but no one wanted to step in. Lucky had picked up the chemists talents from his father. The inside of their trailer was basically a mattress and a meth lab. John Redcorns marijuana may have been enough to chill out most of New Arlen, but Luanne had the most trouble coping with the survivalists lifestyle, and needed stronger stuff to mellow out. The general consensus was that as long as she kept it to herself, the others would turn a blind eye.

When they reached Bill's shack, they saw he had passed out on his lawn, a bottle of Boomshine in his hand.

"I guess Bill didn't go scavenging today" Bobby noted.

"He went pretty hard last night" Joseph said, snickering. Connie and Bobby joined in, remembering Bill dancing like a buffoon the night before and throwing up on Kahn's lawn.

"Jesus, you should have heard him after everyone went to bed, he just kept farting all night on the lawn, I'm surprised he didn't shit himself!" Bobby said.

As if on cue, Bill let one rip, but did not wake up.

"Urgh! Nasty!" They all covered their noses.

"I can't believe he switched back to Boomshine after drinking Alamo, that's whats fucked him over right now" Joseph said, kicking away the empty bottle in Bill's hand, "That stuffs so nasty." Boomshine was the moonshine that Boomhauer made. He had a home made still in his house. Everyone agreed that it tasted like piss, but without Alamo beer, it was the only option. Bobby remembered watching Hank and the others drink in front of the house.

"My God, my boy's a failure and it's all because this dang urethra!" Hank shouted.

"Mm hm" Boomahuer agreed.

"It's not just your urethra's fault hes a failure, WINGO!" Dale shouted, pulling out a handgun and letting out several shots into the sky.

"Mm hm" Boomhauer repeated.

"You take that back Dale!" Hank shouted, swinging his fist at Dale. It knocked him to the ground.

"Hank's gone mad!" Dale shouted, throwing his bottle of Boomshine at Hank. Hank attempting to duck out of the way, but lost his balance and crashed forward into the dirt. The bottle smashed on Bill's chest.

"OW! FUCK!" Bill screamed. He took a swig of Boomshine, then tossed it aside and shouted "Stop fighting! At least you have a son! Both of you do, despite Dale's being a bastard and Hank gets to fuck Peggy and who cares about Bill's Urethra and... and ... and at least you got what you want, I just get the fucking scraps!" Tears were suddenly pouring down Bill's face as he fell to his knees hitting the side of Hank's house.

"Me hm" Boomhauer repeated again, still standing.

"Quit hitting my house!" Hank shouted, trying to get to his feet but falling over again.

"Well at least you don't have to worry about anything, Bill, no ones relying on you to stay alive and provide, you can just be dumb old smelly Bill and then die as a lonely dumb old smelly corpse!" Dale shouted at Bill, laughing.

"That's it , Dale, THATS THE LINE!" Bill charged Dale, his face exploding red with anger, but he merely tripped over his own feet, falling face first beside Dale.

"Mm hm" Boomhauer repeated a fourth time.

"Shut up, Boomhauer! Your Boomshine sucks!" Dale shouted. He shot his pistol at Boomhauer. The bullet shattered the bottle of Boomshine.

"WINGO!" Dale cheered. A moment later Boomhauer was on top of him, punching him in the ribs as many times as he could before Bill pushed him off to get a punch at Dale, but Hank managed to get to his feet and grab Bill from behind. The four friends broke out into a fight that lasted for two minutes and ended with several bruises and piles of vomit. From that day on, Bobby vowed to never drink Boomshine, and the four men decided on a strict drinking limit for Boomshine.

Bill farted on the lawn again.

"Come on, let's go get drunk" Bobby said. The three friends headed behind Bill's shack to the small clearing. Bobby cracked open the first beer before hearing a small, pitiful voice calling out from inside the trench, "God damn, help me!"