Title: April Fool's Day
Pairing/Characters: Romano/Fem!Romano/Spain/Fem!Spain
Rating: PG-13


The evening of March 31st finds Romano seated at the kitchen table of his brand new house, a bottle of celebratory limoncello and the house's other three owners sitting all around him.

The clock strikes midnight but Romano doesn't pay it any mind, because Lovina's poured him another shot and Antonia's laughing at him and telling him to slow it down, but fuck that, because they are homeowners now and if he wants to celebrate by drinking the whole bottle, he fucking will.

(only he fucking won't, because Romano rather likes not being dead, thank you very much)

"Antonio," he slurs. In a manly fashion, because Romano only slurs like a very manly man, and not like a drunken teenager like Antonia does. "Why're you not?"

"Not?" Antonio asks, looking up from his glass.

"Not drinking," he responds. Maybe he forgot some words before, but Antonio should just understand him, goddamnit.

Antonio glances at Antonia, who glances at Lovina, who sighs and pats Romano on the arm. Romano flinches before he realises she hasn't actually hit him.

"There's something Antonio needs to tell you," she says, face suddenly deadly serious.

"You might want to sit down," Antonia adds, and Lovina gives her That Look because Romano is already sitting down, Antonia, he has been for awhile.

"Um. Okay." Suddenly Romano is very worried, or maybe he's just had too much to drink and he's wobbly, but everyone looks so serious when he can actually focus on their faces and maybe it's just that Antonio has work in the morning and they're all being overdramatic again. Because they all do that a lot, Romano is never the overdramatic one.

"I'm pregnant," Antonio says, serious as a seizure, and Romano isn't given a proper chance to respond because all he gets out is, "Holy shit," before he's slumping out of his chair in a dead faint.