Dear Edward,
It's almost Halloween. I've been spending a lot of time with your family. They seem like they're recovering. Everyone, except Esme and I, have started smiling again. Alice has even suggested going to a Halloween party, but isn't pressing for it as much as usual. She's designing costumes for us, in case we decide to go. But even when you were here, I would have hated it. Now, with the staring and everything, I can't go.
The staring hasn't stopped like I thought it would. If anything, it's gotten worse. They could understand in the beginning why I was like that, but for them it's gone on too long. I've even had a couple people ask me about seeing a professional to get some help with my grief. I've debated taking the offer, but decided against it. I'm not crazy, I just miss you.
I got the job at the store, and start in a week. I'll pay Charlie back, and then be able to buy my own gas. It will be nice to have something to keep my mind off of what happened. I'm taking late hours, so maybe I won't have to toss and turn so much. I don't sleep anyways, so I may as well do something productive. The nightmares are still terrible. I wake up screaming, and can't fall back asleep. And I miss you every moment I'm alive. I wish you could come back.
I love you.
Bella
