Dear Edward,
I've been getting better, physically. I'm getting out more because of work and school, and I guess it's finally helping. Christmas break is a week away, and all of our finals are coming up. I'm not very worried; I've studied a lot harder this year trying to keep my mind off of you. It hasn't been working very well.
I stay at your house more often now. Emmett has started trying to talk Carlisle into coming back, and he's home more often now. That means Emmett can get back to playing his jokes. Alice is talking about throwing a New Year's party, to celebrate the past that we did get to spend with you. She says I have to go, and maybe it will help. I don't know about the latter, but I'm going to be there.
Esme is out a lot more, especially now that Carlisle is home. I asked her about it one day when we were alone, how she could stand to keep living an almost normal life. She said that one of the days when she was in her room, something snapped inside her and she realized that she can't disappear from her kids, even if they weren't all there. She still misses you, but she has to be there for the others. I just wish I had something like that, something that was strong enough to drag me away from this pain.
I love you.
Bella
