The day dawned appropriately, with clouds and a light drizzle. I met Charlie at the kitchen table, already dressed in my dark green dress with matching flats. Today was not a day to risk heels and a twisted ankle. He had already made himself some toast and was tugging on some black dress socks.
"Don't you have any navy socks, Dad?" I mused, looking up and down at his outfit — blue suit pants and jacket, white shirt and a tie that looked like it belonged on a college professor in the 1970s. His black dress shoes on the floor near his chair looked equally dated.
"Hmmph," he grunted, keeping his eyes down. Looked like Charlie would be quieter than usual today — I understood. I respected his space and didn't say anything further as I made a bowl of oatmeal.
I was surprised when we pulled up to a typical funeral home on the road leading to La Push. I had expected something a bit more ceremonial for the death of one of the Quileute elders. Charlie, as if reading my mind, explained that this was only the first step of the day's services. We would be going to the reservation for a small gathering at Sam Uley's home later in the afternoon.
"The tribal leadership will be holding a private, ceremonial burial immediately after this. I thought we could just go home until we have to be at Sam's," he stated simply. I nodded my agreement.
As soon as we entered the building, I felt my heart pounding in my ribs. In any other setting, Jacob would be easy to find since he towered over most people. But here, several dark heads were visible above the crowd, and I craned my neck looking for him. I recognized Sam and Quil, but Jacob wasn't anywhere. In fact, most of the pack were absent.
I followed Charlie to where Sue, Leah and Seth stood next to the closed casket. I felt incredibly out-of-place surrounded by tearful mourners. Sue had a fiercely determined look on her face, as if daring her eyes to well up. Leah and Seth were wincing with what appeared to be physical pain, but had also kept the tears at bay. The hole in my heart opened slightly when I saw them, remembering for the first time in days the pain that came with loss. They leaned against one another for support, looking tired and ragged. With a gasp, I realized that Leah had cut her beautiful hair incredibly short.
"Sue," Charlie said, enveloping her in a touching hug. She hugged him back, but remained rigid and unemotional. Seth wouldn't make eye contact with me, so I approached Leah and held out my hand. She stared at it for a moment, and I saw her eyes flicker to Sam, who had moved toward us and was now a few feet to my right. Finally, she accepted my handshake.
I startled when my skin first touched hers. Seth snapped his gaze to me, pleading with his eyes for me to remain calm. Leah's hand was like fire. I dropped it almost immediately and turned to Sam, who just nodded and walked away. "Seth?" I said, turning back to him.
He broke from his sister to give me a quick, blazing hug and whispered, "Both of us, can you believe it? Even Leah, and we always thought…" His whisper ceased.
We always thought that only males could transform.
He straightened up and turned back to his family. Without a word I walked back to where Charlie had settled himself near Billy. Jacob was still nowhere to be found.
"Bella," Billy said, and answering my unasked question, added, "Jacob had some things to take care of on the reservation — helping Old Quil with some preparations and all. He was hoping that you'd come over there after all this is done." He waved his hand at the crowd.
"Guess he won't get to wear that suit after all," I said. "I wonder if it will still fit in a month." Billy snorted quietly and exchanged a knowing smile with me.
Of course I wanted to go to Jacob. So much had happened in the last twenty four hours that I felt like we would need twenty four more just to make sense of it. I was anxious to talk with him. And, I realized with a quick blush, I was looking forward to touching him again. After my dream the night before, I was craving his soft warmth.
I looked at Charlie, who wasn't listening, sitting stone-faced and clenching his jaw the way he always did when he was upset. I knew Charlie, and I knew he'd want some solitude today to grapple with his feelings following Harry's death.
I touched his arm, snapping him out of his cheerless trance.
"Will you be okay if I'm with Jacob until the reception at Sam's later today? If you want me to stick around, I'm fine with that…"
"No, no, don't worry about it, Bella," he seemed relieved. "I think I might just go down to the river for a few hours anyway — seems a fitting way to say goodbye to Harry."
"Well, make sure you change first. I'm afraid to see what your 'backup' outfit would be if you got that suit dirty." The corners of his mouth twitched upward for the first time that day.
I was surprised at the nervousness in my stomach as I rode to La Push with Billy and Rachel. I vaguely remembered Rachel from the times visiting Charlie as a child. She was still a bit on the short side — funny, considering how tall her brother was — but had filled out to become quite curvy. I felt like a child next to her. We made small talk about her college and her major, and what my college plans might be. She was heading back to school the next morning to be back in time for classes on Monday.
I was disappointed when Jacob wasn't at home when we arrived. The anticipation of seeing him again was starting to frustrate me. Billy left immediately for Quil Ateara Sr.'s home and Rachel took me down to a spot on First Beach where most of the reservation community had already gathered — sitting on blankets.
The hum of subdued conversation surrounded us for nearly a half hour as I watched Jared and Quil arrange wooden planks from the parking area to the beach. Soon I noticed Embry helping Billy navigate his wheelchair across the planks to get to the beach. He was dressed in a large woven headdress and, what I assumed was, traditional Quileuite dress. Behind him were Old Quil and Sam, attired in similar clothing. Rachel had seen some of her former schoolmates and friends and gone to sit with them, so I settled myself by Emily, who looked tired and had a smudge of flour next to her nose. She smiled gratefully at me and closed her eyes, only opening them when the first of the drums began. A beautiful voice began to sing, wailing in a language I didn't understand. The hairs on my arms stood on end. It was gorgeous and heartbreaking.
Two large men in wolf costumes and traditional paint carried a large canoe to the sand, setting it down gently. I inhaled sharply as I realized one was Jacob. He looked magnificent and masculine. His eyes were intense as he watched six suit-clad Quileutes carry Harry's coffin toward the canoe, fitting it between the seats in the hull. I was vaguely aware of Sue and Leah coming forward to place items in the canoe: a frying pan, fishing net, some sort of meat wrapped in paper… My eyes couldn't tear themselves away from Jacob as the singing swelled and quiet sobs broke out around me.
Even when Old Quil rose and began to chant in that same beautiful, unfamiliar language, I never looked away from Jacob's strong, glorious form. My heart was filled with love for him — it was almost too much. He was totally focused on the ceremony, but as the six suited men stepped forward to help lift the canoe with the coffin inside, I saw his eyes shift to me for a fraction of a second and I was so overcome by my emotions at that moment that two tears slipped and fell down my cheeks. I reached up and felt them in surprise.
Emily touched my shoulder. "Come with me, I need some help back at the house."
We stood up and I threw a look behind my shoulder where Jacob and seven others were reverently carrying Harry Clearwater into the woods.
"They put the canoe on stakes to raise it off the ground, and will bury him in a week or so, once everyone has had an opportunity to give a gift for Harry to use in the next life," Emily was explaining to me as we arrived at her and Sam's cheerful little house.
Luckily, it had stopped drizzling, because the house would never have been able to accommodate all of the guests she was expecting. As she opened the door, I was greeted with several delicious fragrances.
"They'll bury the canoe too?"
"Mmm hmm," she nodded, grabbing her apron and pointing to the stovetop, where several pots were waiting. "Turn all of those on medium heat and start stirring. I need to go next door and get the fish that I left baking in the Connweller's oven." She left and I got to work. Soon the kitchen was filling with condensation from the various bubbling pots. I peaked into her oven to see some sort of steak-like meat in a large dish, surrounded by simmering vegetables.
"Whale steaks," she said, coming into the kitchen with her hands filled with an enormous baking dish. Sam followed her, his headdress in his hands. "Our tribe is allowed to catch one whale a year, and we save the meat for those occasions that call for it — weddings, funerals, and traditional celebrations," she continued.
"And the death of an elder certainly applies," Sam said wearily, pausing to kiss Emily's forehead before disappearing, presumably to change.
"We should have enough food," Emily smiled. "Quil and Jared won't be here because they need to relieve Paul and Embry on patrol, and those two will probably want to go straight to bed. So we'll really only have four wolves; Sam, Jacob, Leah and Seth. There will be plenty left for the rest of the Tribe."
I nearly dropped the dish I was holding. "Quil's a werewolf?" I choked. "First Leah and Seth, and now Quil is a wolf too? Anyone else I don't know about?"
Emily's eyes were soft. "It was only a matter of time before Quil changed, Bella. It's in his DNA. But no, there are no more wolves for now."
At that moment, the first guests began to arrive, so we stopped talking and got back to work.
