As much as I pried, Jacob wouldn't tell me what he had planned for our date on Friday. Luckily for him, he had to patrol that afternoon and I had to catch up on some homework that I had avoided all of spring break — otherwise I would have interrogated him for hours.
Being alone with my thoughts was less painful than it had been in months. I felt warm when I thought about Jacob — and hot when I thought about our close encounter that morning. It was more than I had ever done with Edward, though not because I hadn't wanted to. I sighed aloud as I thought of all the times Edward had stopped me when my ardor became too much for him to handle.
And yet, I couldn't deny that part of my heart was still conflicted. I didn't think it possible to be in love with two people. However, the decision had been made. Edward didn't want me, and Jacob did. I couldn't control that. What I could control is what I did from now on. And I loved Jacob. You still love Edward, too, my subconscious reminded me.
"Shut up," I growled aloud to myself. The numbness that had plagued me for months after Edward's departure had been slowly fading, and it was being replaced by a bit of anger toward him. How dare he still live in my heart, after all I had gone through? Who was he to whisper advice in my ear? Be happy? I couldn't believe I had flung myself off a cliff a few days earlier to hear a voice that I now wished would go away. It was hard enough to move on, but I was determined to be fair and good to Jacob — he deserved my love and I wanted to give it to him.
I was angry that something as simple as a murmured word by my new boyfriend could interrupt an intimate moment with memories of my former vampire love. Former love? I shrugged my shoulders. I'd always love Edward passionately, but I just had to accept that he was the past, even if I didn't want to. There was no future with him. He had decided that without consulting me, and part of me seethed with anger because of it, even while a larger part of me still longed for him somewhat. I was a confused girl!
The afternoon faded into dinnertime as I finished the novel we had been assigned for English — I didn't like senior year American Literature as much as I had enjoyed British Lit. the year before, but I had to admit that Samuel Beckett's theater of the absurd was a welcome escape from my own bizarre life. I packed the book in my backpack for the next day and tidied up before heading to the kitchen.
I started some vegetables, knowing Charlie would be home soon and would want some of today's catch for dinner. As the asparagus steamed, I looked at my calendar for the week. Ugh. Work on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, which left Tuesday for the bulk of my schoolwork. I might not even see Jacob again until our date. I sighed audibly — it was going to be a long week.
**
I was right — the week crept by. School was mundane. Mike was avoiding me, embarrassed over getting sick in my presence. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't a big deal, but honestly, I enjoyed the break from his hovering. Jessica and Lauren were their usual unfriendly selves, not that it bothered me anymore. Luckily, I had Angela and Ben to keep me company during the many conversations that excluded me at the lunch table.
I hoped that Jacob was getting enough rest — I knew that Sam would have him patrolling as much as possible. He only had time to call me for a few moments Wednesday night as I was changing out of my work clothes.
"I'll pick you up around 4:30 on Friday," he told me. "Wear something nice, but make sure you pack a comfortable change of clothing."
"Should they be all black, since we're breaking laws and everything?" I joked. "I mean, if we're going to rob a bank we don't want to be seen!"
"That's actually a pretty good idea," he said, and I couldn't tell if he was teasing or serious.
I changed my clothing four times before I finally settled on black pants and a purple and silver flowing top that tied at the back of my neck. I couldn't wear a bra with it, but luckily it had several layers to it, so I felt modest. With a sad smile, I realized that Alice had chosen the shirt for me the last time we had shopped together. I packed my change of clothes — dark jeans, bra, and a black sweater with quarter-length sleeves. I also wore a nervous smile — feeling more excited than I had in a long time. To be honest, I couldn't wait to find out what Jacob had planned for us.
Charlie had a permanent grin as he looked at me sitting in our living room, my knees bouncing anxiously as we waited for Jake to arrive. A faint knock at the front door caused me to jump slightly and Charlie beat me to the door.
I peeked around my father and gasped. Jacob was wearing the suit he had purchased the previous week. He looked amazing and I immediately felt under-dressed. I gave him a large smile as Charlie huffed, turning into Chief Swan the moment he opened the front door.
"Jacob," he said gruffly, shaking his hand. Jacob looked amused as Charlie gave him a hard stare. "Bella must be home by 1 a.m. I hope I don't need to call Billy tonight."
"Oh, no sir!" Jacob said, solemnly, his eyes still laughing. "I always follow the rules. Don't worry about a thing." Then he winked at me, brazenly. I stood there, shocked and amused.
Finally, Charlie smiled and clapped Jacob on the back. "I know she's in good hands. You two have a good time." He stepped back so we could both walk out of the door.
We started the drive to Port Angeles. I kept stealing glances at Jacob out of the corner of my eye. He looked like a model in his outfit, and staring at him made me feel breathless. I noticed he was peeking at me as well and my heart began to pound. My body reacted in another way as well and I blushed and wondered if Jacob was aware — if he was, he didn't say anything.
We arrived at the restaurant and it was a perfect choice. Even I was a bit overdressed, but it didn't matter. During the next hour and a half, we feasted on steak, vegetables, bread, and wonderful conversation. As I had requested, Jacob allowed me to pay for my own meal.
By the time we left, it was past seven and the sun was setting. We walked around the small, quaint downtown area for a while, just enjoying the mild temperature and each others' company. Finally, Jacob turned to me with a mischievous grin and said, "Bella, are you ready?"
**
He wouldn't tell me where we were going. We drove to the outskirts of town, twisting through forest roads until we came to a large, dark, hotel-like building in the middle of nowhere. I saw a sign.
"Sol Duc Hot Springs?" I asked, reading. "What's this?"
Jacob was excited. "They don't open the springs for resort guests until next month, but they're warm and ready to go now! I thought we could go for a nighttime dip…it might help your sore back. Technically, it's trespassing, but I don't think they have resort security on patrol right now." He saw my skeptical look and stopped.
"You didn't tell me we were swimming. I have jeans with me! You should have told me to bring a swimsuit!"
"Oh," he said, looking embarrassed. "Well, I thought that maybe since it's dark and all, you'd just be comfortable in your, uh… In your underwear or something," he shrugged. "I'm just wearing shorts. Besides, the springs are really secluded. And I'll give you a backrub!" he promised.
I felt my pulse quicken. I moistened my lips and gave him a half smile. He could see that I was nervous so he stepped close and kissed my forehead. Without a word, he took my hand and our extra clothes and led me through the darkness. I couldn't see a thing, but I knew he was looking at me as we walked.
The springs really were secluded. We walked for several minutes before we came to a clearing and Jake said, "We're here."
My eyes adjusted to the dark and I saw several small steaming pools scattered in front of me. The moon shone brightly, giving the entire scene a silvery glow. Jacob's wide eyes and teeth stood out against his dark skin — he looked like a work of art. He dropped our bags and my hand, walking a few feet ahead. Without a word, he slipped his suit jacket off his shoulders and placed it gently on the ground. His tie was next, followed by his belt. His white shirt fell, revealing his strong, broad shoulders. His skin looked like shimmering onyx in the moonlight.
He turned to face me and looked intently in my eyes as he unfastened the button at the top of his pants. He stood there uncertainly for a moment, seeming to have an internal debate with himself. His eyes never left mine as he then bent over and dragged his pants down his muscular legs. When he stood back up, I noticed that the material of his boxer shorts was straining against something large and hard, and I gasped softly. With the moon behind him, he looked like a nighttime fantasy. I looked away nervously.
"I'll be in the pool, Bella," he said, his voice deep and husky.
I turned away, my mind racing. I wanted to follow him, to run my hands over his back, explore every inch of his hot skin. I needed to decide if I was ready for this, and I only had a few moments. My body was screaming at me to join him; my mind was conflicted. Suddenly, I remembered two words: Be happy. I knew at once what I was going to do, and unfastened my jeans with trembling fingers. Shivering in only my bra and underwear, I walked quietly to the springs.
**
Jacob had his eyes closed and his head back as I stepped into the pool. Keeping his eyes shut, he murmured, "I didn't know if you would come."
I glided to him, taking his hands under the water, and kissed his neck. "I knew you wanted me to," I confessed, shifting so I sat on one of his thighs. I was very aware of something pressing against the side of my hip, but I didn't pull away.
Jacob lifted his head to look at me for the first time. We stared at each other for several long seconds before I leaned to him, tenderly pressing my lips to his. My breath was shaky against his mouth. But I had no hesitation when I felt Jacob's tongue on my lower lip — I accepted it immediately, eagerly. His lips were so soft. I nibbled one, gently sucking it and tasting his sweet flavor. My eagerness surprised me. He moaned softly in his throat and that sound unleashed something in me.
All of the sexual frustration and desire I had held back for the last year bubbled to the surface. I grabbed the back of his head suddenly, urgently, knowing that this time I wouldn't be stopped. Jacob wouldn't stop me, and I felt recklessly liberated in realizing that. Every caution I had voiced in the past, every internal debate I had worked through, every single thought went out the window. I was so tired of being stopped, exasperatingly halted during every intimate moment. That wouldn't happen tonight.
He couldn't be close enough. I pressed against him roughly, pinning him against the side of the hot spring. We explored each other's mouths, our tongues dancing and chasing each other. I felt his erection growing against my stomach, and instead of frightening me, it only made me more excited.
Jacob's hands, impossibly hot against my back in the warm water, moved down to grip my backside firmly. I could feel the heat of his fingers through the fabric of my underwear. He broke away from my mouth and looked me right in the eyes as he lifted me to thrust our hips together, roughly. I gasped in surprise and pleasure, and we both moaned loudly.
"Does that feel good, Bella?" he growled. I nodded breathlessly. He did it again — and again — each time looking into my eyes and matching my groan with one of his own.
I felt my underwear ripping apart in his strong hands as he rubbed and squeezed my bottom until the satin was mere shreds pinned between us. He slowly lowered me back onto my feet in the water, and I whimpered as my center rubbed against his skin the entire way down. The remains of my panties fell away. My heart pounded nervously, but I had no intention of stopping. I had been stopped too many times before. I felt free, and incredibly turned on.
His fingers grazed my skin tenderly as he moved them up my back to my upper arms. Brushing my hair back behind my shoulders, he leaned down to kiss the side of my neck. His hands gently pushed the straps of my bra down my arm — first one side, then the other. I pushed him away urgently; he eyed me hungrily as I slowly reached behind to unfasten the clasp and then slipped my arms out of the loops. I held the fabric loosely in place as I watched his reaction.
There was a rumble deep in his chest as he gazed at my pale flesh spilling out of the lacy cups. Reaching up, he grasped the material at the top of one breast and pulled it slowly away from my body as I drew in my breath. I stood there, completely exposed in the moonlight, my chest rising and falling. His eyes were wide as he stared at me in lust and wonder. His hands, still on my shoulders, trembled slightly, but his face showed nothing but confidence and desire.
His fingertips tickled my skin as they slid across my collarbones — his skin was like dark night compared to my glowing paleness. One hand remained there while the other trailed down to the hollow between my breasts. Leaning forward, he kissed the spot before closing his eyes and crushing his nose and lips into my skin to inhale my scent. Both hands began an enticing tease, circling the sensitive flesh on my breasts in large circles, but always avoiding the nipples. They hardened in anticipation, but, again, he avoided them. I whimpered softly, arching my back.
"Mmmm, Jake…please," I pleaded in a whisper. He smiled — it was maddening — and gently ran his palm against the sensitive center of my peaks. I trembled as the sensation warmed the already heated ache in my loins. My hips pressed against his involuntarily and he snarled quietly and closed his eyes as my thigh brushed against his burning erection. I lifted one thigh in the balmy water and settled it between his legs, rubbing myself against his hardness, up and down, as he suddenly stopped his caresses.
The intense rumbling that had been sounding in his throat grew louder and he suddenly leaned down and kissed me forcefully. He tasted my mouth and broke away as I closed my eyes. I felt his warm tongue flick against my nipple and my eyes flew open as I squealed in delight. "Jacob!"
He lapped at me again. I pressed my legs together under the water as a wave of arousal hit me. He took the entire nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before releasing it with a suckling pop. As he continued to lick and suck at my sensitive peaks, I was almost unaware that one hand was running down the side of my hip until, with a gasp escaping my lips, his fingertips barely grazed my sensitive folds, which were slick even under the water.
"God, Bella," he moaned against my nipple. "I can even smell you through the water! I need you, I need to taste you…I can't stand it!" I found myself being lifted out of the water and placed on the edge of the spring. The cool night air caused goose bumps to rise on my arms and chest and I shivered. But, Jacob's hands were creating burning trails on my skin as he parted my legs.
With a growl, he licked me from the bottom of my sex all the way up my folds to the sensitive nub that twitched under his tongue. I threw my head back and cried out. He began a chant as he devoured my clitoris — "Bella, Bella, Bella" — closing his lips to lightly pinch with the "B" and flicking his tongue against me with the "L." I was aware of a flush taking over my body even as the night breeze continued to blow cool against me.
I wasn't used to feeling cold when I was so close to Jacob, and the way I felt in the cool air immediately reminded me of intimate moments with Edward. I thought of his cold skin, his cool breath tickling my body — much like the light breeze that was sending a new chill through my body now. My brain and senses were jumbled as I processed the intense pleasure I was feeling. I couldn't help myself and I closed my eyes and thought of Edward touching me this way, the way I always wanted him to.
The urgent fire began to smolder in my core as I grasped hair in my hands. In my mind, it was the color of bronze, but in reality, it was dark black. "Oh yes," I hissed, reaching toward it. "Yesssss…oh God!" It built hotter and hotter until, finally, I felt like I had exploded, ripples of intensity racing through my body.
"Oh, I love you!" I cried aloud to the Edward in my head. "I love you!"
"I love you too, Bella," Jacob's husky voice answered.
