I don't know how long I was out, but I awoke to the heartbreaking sound of wolves howling. My eyes fluttered open and were assaulted by the sunshine above me. A sickeningly sweet smell filled my nostrils and a blurry figure hovered over me, saying something that I could barely hear over the mournful calls of the pack. Slowly, my eyes and ears adjusted.

"Bella, love? Are you hurt?" Edward's voice was panicked. "Say something to me!"

"Jacob," I croaked, rolling to my side to try and see where he lay. My wolf was mere feet from me, his eyes open and gazing right at me. He had phased back into his human form, yet still allowed a canine-like whine to escape between his clenched teeth. Carlisle stood over him, stretching his broken body many different ways in an attempt to help him heal correctly. "Oh, Jake…" I whispered, staring at him.

Edward cradled my cheek in his cold hands and turned my head until I was facing him. I resisted slightly, not wanting to break my gaze with Jacob, but finally met his eyes. What I saw there surprised me. They were pitch black, the bruise-like circles incredibly dark underneath them. He looked hungry, gaunt and tired. He also looked confused, but as his gaze enveloped me, I felt myself being dazzled despite my better judgment. My heart pounded faster, betraying itself. He leaned into me, brushing his lips against my cheek, murmuring, "It's all over, love. She's dead…Victoria will never come after you again. My Bella, oh…my Bella. I'm so sorry. I'm so…"

"Stop," I said weakly, fighting the effect he had on me. If he heard me, he ignored it. "Stop!" I said louder and more firmly, and he finally sat up, looking at me in bewilderment. I pushed with my forearms, attempting to sit up, trying to shrug him off.

Alice came up behind Edward, grasping his shoulders reassuringly. "Edward, leave her alone." His grip tightened momentarily as he shot an annoyed, puzzled glimpse at his sister, who stood firm. Her sympathetic gaze never wavered, and I wondered what he was seeing in her mind.

Edward released me and I crawled over to Jacob, who tried to reach for me and grimaced when he couldn't. He looked too pale, and dirt and sweat covered his face. I stroked his face gently as a tear escaped his eye. He looked completely helpless. "Shh, I'm here, Jake. It's done, it's all over." I looked up to Carlisle. "Will he be okay? What's wrong with him?"

"Victoria smashed the entire right side of his body, and also his spine," Carlisle started, and I gasped and turned to my whimpering wolf-man, smoothing some errant strands of his dark hair away from his eyes. Tears burned in my dry eyes, but Carlisle continued. "Bella, he's going to be just fine. You know that he heals quickly, and can heal from wounds that would be fatal for other creatures…and this will be no different — his bones might even finish mending in a few hours. We just have to make sure he heals correctly. I've had to re-break many of his bones to set them straight. Thank goodness his spinal injury didn't allow him to feel the re-breaks on his legs…"

I wavered in place, whether from blood loss or being overwhelmed, I didn't know.

"Be careful, Bella," Carlisle said to me softly. "You've lost a lot of blood. I'm going to tend to you next, and I sent Rosalie into the house to get some of Leah's clothing for you. You're absolutely covered — do you realize that? I'm afraid that with the fight no longer able to distract them, my family might react…differently." Jacob snarled weakly at his words and I heard another protective snarl directly behind me. I glanced around and found Edward assuming a defensive stance at my back.

From across the yard, Jasper's cool voice called, "I'm in control…don't worry about me."

I smiled weakly at him and took a moment to look around the yard. Here and there, small piles of white stone were smoldering, sending acrid plumes of smoke into the air. Jasper sat holding a quietly weeping Esme, whose face was horribly scarred. Rosalie placed a small bundle of clothing near Carlisle and immediately walked to Emmett — the two of them embraced and lost themselves in each other, kissing and murmuring their affections, seemingly oblivious to everything around them.

The wolves sat in a semi-circle around the fallen figure of Embry. Again and again they howled their despair, the different cadences from each pack member blending to make a haunting, sorrowful melody, and a sob escaped my throat.

"Oh God, Carlisle…he's not…" I couldn't say it, but the doctor's expressive eyes told me what I needed to know. Embry was dead. In front of me, Jacob shook with silent weeping for his friend. The tears finally overflowed my eyelids and I moaned and fell forward, pressing my forehead to Jacob's as grief took over.

We cried together for a long time, as his body wracked with repairing bone and muscle itself and the fires burnt around us. I wept for Embry, Esme, and the relief at knowing that Jacob would be okay. It was an intimate moment that I needed, and soon I had cried myself out.

Finally, I looked up and noticed that Edward had relaxed his protective guard over me. He sat a dozen yards from us, his face buried in his hands, Alice rubbing his shoulders in a consoling way. I stood, shakily, and in a flash Emmett was at my side, offering his arm for me to hold, his eyes still perfectly golden. I smiled at him gratefully, and made my way over to the porch on shaking legs. Emmett remained at my hip and I gave him a gentle push.

"I'll be fine, Emmett…thanks," I said softly. "I need to get changed…and I'm not going to do it with you watching." Across the yard, two snarls rose once again. Emmett shook his head with a small smile and loped gracefully back to Rosalie. I glanced around from my corner of the porch and realized no one was watching me. They were preoccupied with the aftermath of the battle.

I changed quickly, grimacing at the scabbed-over wounds on my wrists, and then made my way over to Edward with a wavering gait. I was still feeling the effects of my blood loss. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him.

Turns out I didn't need to talk. He did it for me.

"Bella," he reached out and took my hand, relief in his voice. "Oh, Bella…I'll never forgive myself for leaving you. I had no idea you were in such danger."

I studied his face. He was breathtakingly beautiful, of course, but I now saw him in a different light. I had learned that he wasn't perfect — he had made mistakes with me, and it made him seem more…human. Resistible. I smiled a bit, knowing that he didn't have the same pull over me anymore and feeling slightly empowered by that thought.

I stepped forward and hugged him. He froze for a moment, allowing himself to get used to my scent, and then his arms slid around my waist and he squeezed back. "My Bella…I was a fool," he whispered, "You have to know that I lo—…"

I cut him off. "Thank you for saving Jacob," I said, not caring that my lower lip trembled with emotion. "I can't thank you enough for that. I…I know it must have been difficult to come back."

He pulled away enough to look into my face, trying to read there what he couldn't in my mind. As his beautiful eyes met mine, they seemed to sear into my soul. I felt myself weakening, being overwhelmed — Edward was here, he was right here in front of me gazing at me with love. I leaned toward him unconsciously. It was everything I had hoped for back before Jacob and I…

Jacob and I are together. The mere thought of that broke the spell, and I smiled sadly at Edward as I leaned away. I felt a flare of annoyance that he could still affect me, and I found myself trying to fight back the unanswered hurt that threatened to shatter my composure.

"Bella," he said again, as if the mere sound of my name from his lips brought him relief. "If I had any idea that Victoria…" he began before I cut him off again, the beginning of his explanation breaking the dam.

"What? You wouldn't have left? Would your possessive tendencies have allowed you to stick around to protect someone you didn't want anymore? Someone who wasn't good for you?" I was surprised at how quickly and intensely the anger had arisen, but it felt cathartic to say exactly what I was thinking. Edward couldn't read my mind after all; I wanted him to truly understand my pain.

He cringed slightly as I used his own words against him, but quickly recovered and took my hands again. "Bella, you have to understand. After the intensity of what we felt, do you honestly believe that it could all just go away for me?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. Several months ago, I would have given anything to hear him say these things to me, but now, I had to stop him before he revealed his heart. It just wasn't that way anymore. I couldn't hurt him like that.

"Please listen to me. I had to believe it, Edward," I said softly. "It's what you told me…and…it's what helped me to finally move on. If I believed you truly still loved me, I would have withered away for the rest of my life…pining for someone who was never coming back."

Edward's eyes had darkened and then closed when I uttered "move on." Opening them again, I saw the pain and uncertainty in them and I had to look away.

"I'd give anything to have your family remain in Forks," I told him. "And that includes you. But Edward…I'm with Jacob now." A low growl began in his chest. I took my hand out of his tight grasp and put it where the rumbling centered and it calmed him a bit. I continued. "I'm happy with Jake." My voice was earnest and I glanced at my recovering boyfriend who was also rumbling lowly, watching my exchange with Edward closely. Our eyes met and we couldn't stop the smile that formed on either of our faces. Jacob looked proud of me, and frankly, I was proud of myself for standing my ground and being up front with the situation.

Next to me, Edward stiffened. "Oh, I see," he said, his voice formal. "Well, I'm very glad you're happy, Bella. It's what I always hoped for you. I'm glad you've formed an attachment to him — I always thought you'd like having a pet dog. You never were much of a cat person." Jacob's growls escalated immediately. My brows furrowed in irritation and I wanted to say something but he kept going.

His silky voice dropped to a whisper so quiet, I had to lean into him to hear it. "I've never stopped thinking of you. I want you to know that. I realize I made a horrible mistake in leaving…in hurting you like I did, but I'm promising to make it up to you if I can. If you'll let me…" He hesitated slightly, and then blurted, "I love you, Bella." He took my hand again as Jacob began growling. "Please choose me."

His eyes bore into mine and I felt the retort on my tongue fall away. My brain was fuzzy. Nothing existed but his face, his gorgeous, alluring face, and a steady roll of thunder that grew louder and louder. The thunder distracted me, and I realized it was Jacob's furious growling. It brought me back to reality.

"Edward! You can't dazzle me to get what you want," I was as furious as Jacob and took a step back from him. He looked horrified with himself and looked around to see his family standing, shaking their heads or looking at him in disbelief.

Carlisle appeared behind his son, putting one hand on his shoulder. "Edward, remember yourself. Please son…we can discuss this later. Right now, we have work still to do." Carlisle looked at me over Edward's stricken figure and I nodded, letting him know I was fine. "Bella, hold still for a moment," he told me, and he quickly ran his cool fingers across my scalp and examined the lump on my head. He checked my wrists and murmured, "We'll need to clean and wrap these properly, but I don't think you'll need stitches." Finally, he took my pulse and nodded with a small smile. "I think you'll live."

"Thanks, Carlisle," I said gratefully. "Can I ask you for a favor?" He shook his head in the affirmative. "I'll go with you to take care of my wounds, but I need a few minutes first," I pleaded. "I do need to come back to your home with you…to continue this discussion." My eyes flickered to Edward. "But I just need to see Jacob back to his house first — make sure he's comfortable."

"Of course, Bella," Carlisle said understandingly.

Weak snarling broke out behind me and I turned to Jacob, who was obviously upset by my plans. I hurried to his side as quickly as my feeble legs would take me and nuzzled myself into his shoulder, putting my lips up to his ear. "It's okay, Jake — everything will be okay. You know you can trust me. I just…I have to do this." I pulled back and looked into his hurting brown eyes. "I have to get some closure." Jacob reluctantly closed his eyes and lowered his head in an infinitesimal nod.

"Let's get going," Sam's authoritative voice sounded. He turned to address Carlisle. "When Bella returns, we expect you to leave the reservation and to resume the usual limitations of the treaty. Thank you for helping us today, but I still have to insist that you remain outside of the boundary lines from now on." Carlisle and Jasper both shook their heads in stiff agreement. The pack and I set off, while the Cullens continued gathering granite lumps of vampire flesh and tossing it onto the fires.

**

What a sad procession we made through the empty reservation. Sam led the way, cradling Embry's broken body in his arms. The rest of the pack followed, some in their human forms, some still as wolves. Quil carried a still-healing Jacob, whose eyes never left me. I traveled on the back of Seth, who was trembling with emotion and fighting back tears the entire way. I felt their loss almost as acutely as they did, but my mind couldn't help but be consumed by the return of Edward.

I wanted to hate him for all of the pain he put me through. It would be so much easier if I could just allow the anger to take over. But Edward had arrived at a crucial moment, and had saved Jacob's life. For that, I could never hate him. And, as much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, hearing his words, "I love you, Bella," had affected me. I still had so much love in my heart for him, even if that love had changed. He didn't deserve an explanation, but I still wanted to give him one.

I sighed sadly. Poor Jacob. Not only did he have to suffer through the pain of Victoria's attack,the rapid healing that was currently wracking his body, and the loss of his best friend, but he was probably going through a million different emotions after being saved by his girlfriend's former love.

We arrived at the Black's house. Seth lowered me gingerly and asked me if I was okay. I knew there would be no more fainting for me. He promised to wait for me in the yard until I had Jacob settled. I followed Quil into the house, where he gently placed Jacob on his bed, leaned against the wall and looked at me.

"Please come back for him, Bella," he pleaded quietly, his face so sad. I knew his words were two-fold. He wanted me to return to watch over Jacob while he finished healing, and he also was asking me not to abandon him for Edward.

"I will, Quil. I just…have something I have to do first." I met Jacob's eyes and turned to cover his shaking body with the sheet that was gathered at the foot of the unmade bed. I pressed my lips to his forehead. "I'll be back in a few hours, I promise."

His voice was firm, even as his healing body quaked. "I know. Be careful, Bells…and hurry back to me."

"You'll be okay by yourself?"

"Of course," he said, a forced smirk on his face. "Doesn't even hurt."

I turned to Quil. "You'll stay here until I get back?"

"Yeah."

Quil turned to look out of Jacob's bedroom window, pain etched over his features. Just outside, moving away from us was the rest of the pack. Silently, the procession continued along the road — a strange, sad funeral march for Embry Call.

**

Seth had me back in his yard in mere minutes. The piggyback ride was not nearly as smooth as on the back of Alice — or Edward — but I was grateful for the lift. The Cullen family members had finished their gruesome work and were waiting for me. Edward stood in the middle of his family, embracing Esme, whose face looked much better but was still visibly marred, and speaking with Jasper quietly. When he saw me, he shifted as if to walk to my side, but Alice beat him there. He remained back.

"Hey Alice," I said softly. "You okay?"

Her smile was warm. "Yes…you?"

"I don't quite know yet," I admitted. "What happened with Esme? Will she recover?"

Alice's eyes faltered. "That newborn tore half of her cheek away. Carlisle was able to find it — he's so attuned to her scent that he went straight to it before it was burnt with the other…pieces." I shuddered. "Our bodies heal very easily, as long as none of the flesh is lost. She'll always have a dramatic scar from the venom, but her face is whole."

"Is she okay?"

"She's in shock a bit…Carlisle will take good care of her, though."

"I think we're all in shock, Alice." At my words, Seth put his warm arm around my shoulders and gave me a friendly squeeze, for which I was grateful. Behind us, Carlisle called for the family to get moving.

"Can I take you?" her soft voice asked.

"I think that would be a good idea," I said with a weak smile. My stomach churned at the conversation ahead, but I was still determined. "I can't stay very long. Jacob will probably be healing until later tonight, and I want to be there for him. Can you drop me off at the edge of the res when I'm…done? It's only a few minute's walk to my truck at the trail's head."

"You know I will," she smiled at me and I climbed on her tiny back.

"I could meet you," Seth said, "Save you the walk. You're probably pretty tired." He seemed at ease with the Cullens, and even gave Alice a small grin.

"Sure, sure," I said gratefully. "I'll be there in about an hour and a half, okay?"

In the corner of my eye, I saw Edward start toward us, but Carlisle held him back.

"No, not now," he whispered. "We can't linger on the reservation any longer, Edward. Please go back to the house — you can talk when we get there."

"But…" Edward started. He looked around and noticed every golden eye upon him. With a defeated sigh and a stricken look at me, Edward took off into the woods like a blur.

"I'm sorry it's like this, Bella," was all Carlisle could manage as he gathered Esme against his chest and ran after Edward, back toward the house. Alice took off with me, and the rest of the Cullens followed without a word.

**

When we reached the tree line at the house, Alice lowered me and immediately took off, clutching Jasper's outstretched hand. Rosalie and Emmett followed them gracefully. Carlisle set Esme down near Edward's protective form, and rushed into the house, reappearing before me with dressings for my arms. With vampire speed, my wounds were cleaned and wrapped. The whole process took mere seconds, and before I knew it Carlisle had scooped Esme up again, stopping to have a rapid, quiet conversation with Edward before following his children into the woods.

They were giving us privacy.

Edward stared at me across the green grass. In the late afternoon sunlight, his skin was brilliantly glowing. My stomach clenched with nerves at the realization that I was alone with Edward. He started toward me, his steps straight and sure — only his eyes betrayed him. They were insecure and a bit fearful. I never broke his gaze until he was standing right in front of me — at that point everything was so intense and I had to look down at my shoes. I felt his cold fingers on the side of my face and he pushed my head up until our eyes met again.

"Don't look away, Bella," he said softly. "I've dreamed of your face every moment since I last saw you, and I hope you'll allow me to be greedy."

I sighed at his gentle touch, which was so familiar. My heart, however, ached in a way that was entirely unfamiliar, because part of me considered pushing his hand away. That feeling was new.

"So what have you been doing since that day?" I asked him with a trembling voice, closing my eyes and leaning against the cool of his hand on my cheek, deciding to allow it.

"At first, I went to Alaska with my family," he said quietly, "Laurent was there. Apparently, he formed quite a bond with Irina and was trying to live our vegetarian lifestyle. It was interesting to have him there with all of us. We were friendly to one another, but it was hard for me to trust him. One day he let his thoughts slip to Victoria and the revenge she would most likely try to achieve against us…against you. Laurent was unsure which side he would choose. Once I knew you were still in danger, I began tracking her."

"Laurent chose his side," I said. "He came across me in the woods one afternoon and would have killed me if the werewolves hadn't shown up." Edward's eyes widened at the news and a soft snarl escaped his lips. I silenced him with a shake of my head. "It's over now. He's dead."

Edward let his hand fall and he sank down on the soft grass, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I suppose I should be grateful, then…for all of the protection that the wolves provided since my poor decision left me unable to do so myself. But I can't help being…worried…at the danger you're in with them."

I stifled my smile at his ironic words and settled next to him, waiting for him to continue.

"But, back to Victoria. I followed her for months. I've been to Texas, Mexico, Brazil…once I was even in Portland."

"So close," I murmured.

"Bella, love," he began tentatively, looking up at me with pleading tawny eyes. "I can't…you don't…" He sighed, frustrated. "I don't know what to say," he finally mumbled. "I've existed for over one hundred years, and I've never made a larger mistake than I did when I left you."

"You're right, Edward," I said without hesitation. He looked up at me, startled by my bluntness. I kept going, scared that if I paused, I'd lose the nerve to tell him what I was really thinking. "When you left, you took away my choice in the matter. You took away your family's choice too. I know you thought you were doing what was best for me, but…well..." I took a deep breath. "You messed up, Edward. You overreacted and broke me in the process. Not just my heart, but all of me."

His flawless face was stricken with grief at my words. "I had no idea," he whispered, the pain evident in the quiet rasp of his voice.

My steely resolve fell away when I saw his anguish. Inching closer, I put my hand on his arm, wanting to comfort him. "I don't hate you, Edward," I murmured, giving his arm a squeeze. "I don't think a day will pass when I don't love you." His face lightened at my words.

"Bella," he breathed. "I love you so much. I'm so grateful you're safe now." He wrapped a cool arm around me and I shivered involuntarily.

"What are you doing back here, especially now?" I was curious.

He released me and leaned back on his arms. "It was only a matter of time before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back," he explained. "I felt wrong about what I had done the moment I ran away from you in the woods that day." He sighed. "Once I made the decision to return to you, my heart was lighter. My priorities were back in line. So I came back to Forks, I wanted to make an important stop. I hadn't seen my family in months, and decided to visit them…I wanted to surprise Esme. Turns out I was the one surprised. The house was empty. I knew immediately where they had gone."

"Well, your timing was perfect," I whispered softly, thinking of Jacob.

"Was it?" His voice was full of hope. "I didn't know how you would react to seeing me again. I…hoped I wouldn't be too late." He took my hand and leaned forward until his lips tickled my ear. "You've never left my heart, Bella Swan."

"Edward…" I started, pulling away and dreading what I was about to say. "I might still have love for you, but…you have to know…"

"Yes?"

His velvet tone was so full of emotion that I faltered and looked up. He was gazing at me with intensity, not trying to dazzle me, but still doing so inadvertently. My words died in my throat, and I was transported back in my mind. Back to memories of his gentle, cool fingers brushing my cheek; back to afternoons in my living room, snuggled against his strong form while Alice chattered away next to me; back to breathing in his delicious fragrance. I found myself inhaling, my mind blurring at the bliss his scent always brought. Something in my mind told me that this wasn't right, but it felt so right…

"Bella?" Edward's eyes still focused on me as if nothing else existed. "You wanted to tell me something, love?"

"Something?" My mind was slowly coming out of a fog.

He smiled, his perfect white teeth flashing. "I know how you feel. Being back with you has left me unable to formulate coherent thoughts at times. I'm just…happy, Bella. And I never thought I would be again."

Happy? I furrowed my brow, remembering something that had been uttered in my head over and over again during the last few months.

Be happy.

I gasped, reality rushing back to me. Jacob. Jacob made me happy now.

I wanted to kick myself for my weakness around Edward. Feeling guilty that he had just exposed the depth of his emotions to me, I cleared my throat and gathered my courage for what I knew would be a difficult admission.

"Yes, umm…like I was saying." I tried to gain my nerve again. "Listen, Edward. I don't want to hurt you, but…I meant what I said before. I…I'm in love with Jacob now."

Edward's small smile was surprising. "I'm aware that he has been occupying your time while I was away. In a way, I'm grateful that he kept you busy so you weren't so sad all of the time. I just wish you would have chosen a friend who was safer."

I gaped at him, astonished. I didn't know how to respond.

Turned out I didn't have to, because Edward continued.

Taking my hands, he vowed, "Bella, I promise to never leave your side again."

"No," I mouthed. Then louder, "No…you don't understand, Edward. I hope we can still be friends — you don't know how much I want us to remain friends — but I'm going to be with Jacob."

"Bella…" Edward began, but I interrupted him.

"I'm going to be with Jacob," I repeated. "For the rest of my life, if he'll have me."

Edward's figure froze, struck dumb. I waited a minute for him to react, but he remained like stone.

"Edward?"

No response.

I tried again. "Edward? Tell me what you're thinking."

"You want to be…with Jacob? You don't want to be with me?"

I closed my eyes, unable to watch his distress at the realization. "But I hope to still have you in my life."

"You choose…a…mere child? Worse, a pup?" His voice wasn't angry, just disbelieving.

"He's so much more than that," I said, slightly annoyed. "He's no child, Edward. He's a grown man. And if he's a pup, what does that make you? A dead man?" His eyes widened and darkened slightly, and I knew I had hit a nerve. I groaned. This was not going as I had hoped. "Listen, Edward. A lot has changed. But what matters is what we do from this point on. Why don't we go inside and lay some ground rules, okay?"

Edward still looked shocked, but nodded almost involuntarily. Dashing to his feet faster than my eyes could register, he offered me an assisting hand. The same, familiar tingle that always coursed through me any time we touched was there, but I ignored it. Edward didn't relinquish my hand as we walked at a human pace to the back door, instead he held it gently in his, seeming to need my touch. It felt natural and comforting, so again I allowed it.

When he threw open the door, his nose wrinkled and he instinctively pushed me behind him and lowered into a crouch. "Bella, what would a werewolf be doing in my house?"

"What?" I couldn't imagine who could possibly be in the Cullen house. I pushed past Edward and entered the home, not fearful of any member of the pack who might be waiting. Looking around the kitchen, I saw bags from the Smoke House peeking out of the trash can and with a violent jolt, I remembered why the Cullen house smelled like werewolf. Whirling around in panic, I blurted, "Edward!"

His eyes looked curious and his nostrils flared as he took in the scents. "Jacob was here recently," he mused. "But there's something else…"

As he pondered the smells in the Cullen kitchen, a blur of white and black caught my eye several hundred yards in the distance, rushing toward the house. Suddenly, Edward's eyes went black and he roared "No!" furiously, swinging his arm against the kitchen island and sending shards of granite counter and wooden cabinet flying across the room. I screamed and ducked for cover against his rage.

The blur I had seen slammed into Edward and pinned him down momentarily. Alice. Jasper was mere seconds behind, exuding waves of calm toward his livid brother before helping to hold him down. Underneath them both, Edward continued to struggle.

"That dog! That disgusting, vile waste of space! I'll kill him," Edward snarled. "How dare he defile Bella like this…in our home? I'll fucking end him." I gasped at his profanity and at the fury in which he spit his words.

"Edward!" Alice admonished, giving his shoulders a shove into the kitchen floor. He seemed to fight the calmness that Jasper sent his way, continuing to struggle and emit angry growls and epithets.

"Mongrel," Edward's wrath persisted. "He had better never…" His voice died and he finally calmed, whether from Jasper's gift or from being defenseless, I didn't know. He looked utterly defeated under the arms of his siblings.

I bent down to meet his face. "Edward?"

"Bella," his voice was broken with unachievable tears. "Are you okay, love? You're not…hurt?"

My face burnt with embarrassment and I feared for his reaction when he learned the truth. I couldn't look at him as I shook my head no.

"Jacob didn't…hurt me, Edward," I said, looking up and meeting Alice's sympathetic eyes.

Edward fell silent at this, his brow furrowed in concentration. "Oh," he finally said, "I see." He turned to his sister. "You helped set the entire thing up? You aided Jacob in this disgusting encounter? You helped him take Bella's virtue?"

Alice looked horrified and hurt, and it made me angry.

"Damn it, Edward!" I shouted. "Leave her alone." I gnawed my lip anxiously, trying to control my temper. "I don't want to be harsh with you, because I know it will be difficult to hear, but Jacob didn't do anything I didn't want him to. If anything, I initiated the entire thing." I paced in the kitchen, my feet crunching on pieces of the destroyed island. "Alice helped to set up dinner, but Jacob and I made the decision to make love." Alice's face looked guilty, and I suddenly remembered the conveniently left condoms.

Edward must have seen Alice's thoughts at that point, because he growled at his sister and began struggling again. "I'm just…shocked…at all of you," he seethed.

"Oh, get off your moral high horse, Edward," Jasper grumbled. "Remember that I could feel every twinge of lust emanating from you whenever Bella was around. You're not so innocent yourself."

I turned to Edward in surprise. "I never realized…"

"I never acted on it," he said quietly. "I would never disrespect you like that."

I could only exhale at the realization that we had missed out on so much — if Edward would have only allowed himself to give up an ounce of control. "I don't think I ever realized how often you ignored my wishes," I said. "Did you ever stop to really think that maybe I wanted you to act on some of those feelings? I loved you, Edward…why wouldn't I have wanted to show you that?"

Edward was silent, and I couldn't read his mood. "Doesn't matter," I muttered. "Edward, I don't regret what happened with Jacob. It was perfect…and something I always wished we could have done together, but you were always so adamant that it could never happen."

He stood, Jasper still watching him warily. "You couldn't be with me, so you settled for a werewolf? You would cheapen yourself like that?"

I whirled around in absolute shock. There wasn't anything he could have said to hurt me more — I almost couldn't believe my ears. My face burned with a fury I hadn't ever experienced and my hands clenched into fists at my side. I pressed myself into his personal space and my hand whistled through the air at human speed. He could have stopped me, but allowed my palm to make contact with his face. The smack echoed through the kitchen. My hand hurt where it had struck his granite skin, but I fought back the grimace of pain. The angry tears stung in my eyes as I pummeled his rock-hard chest with my fists. Alice pulled me away.

I almost couldn't form words, I was so livid. "What…Edward…how could you say something like that? You leave me…lie to me and tell me you don't want me, and then don't expect me to move on with my life? I'm not doing anything wrong here…how dare you make me feel differently?"

Edward's face, which had taken on an upset expression the moment my hand made contact, looked absolutely devastated at my words.

I trembled with emotion as I continued to unload. "You were the only one ever concerned about going too far. We could have been amazing together…" My voice broke, and I gasped with a ragged sob. "We could have made such sweet love, but again…that was another decision you made for me without caring about my feelings. I love Jacob, and he loves me. He treats me like an equal…something you could never do." I grabbed Alice's hand, suddenly wanting to leave.

"Bella." I couldn't fathom the despair in the way he uttered my name, and I wanted to turn around…but I kept walking toward the door.

Just before exiting, I stopped and said, very softly, "Thank you for saving Jacob…you don't know how grateful I am. But until you're ready to accept that we can only be friends, don't talk to me or come near me, Edward. I can't handle the hurt anymore." I successfully held back the tears as Alice helped me onto her back and we took off.

**

Chapter End Notes: Are you on Twitter? Find me! EllaB_twilight

Jacob and Bella will be going on a date in a future chapter. In your reviews, give me some date ideas...I'll credit the reader whose idea I use!

One more important note. Many well-known twi-fic authors are organizing a fundraising effort to raise money for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for Childhood Cancer, a 501(c)3 public charity, to fund childhood cancer research projects. To learn more or to donate, visit: www (dot) thefandomgivesback (dot) blogspot (dot) com