My Angel

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Authors note: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6. I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it.

Chapter Ten: Confessions

Watching the couple jump apart quickly, Brainy sighed and slumped against the wall. Not waiting for an explanation, Brainy held his hand up and took a puff of his puffer. "I guess…it was only…a matter of time."

Stunned, Helga was gobsmacked as Brainy smiled. "I always thought…maybe one day…but I guess I always…knew…thank goodness I found her before it was too late though," he beamed brightly as a rather shy girl walked up behind him, taking his hand and smiling timidly.

"Nadine?" Arnold and Helga exclaimed together, earning a laugh from Brainy and Nadine.

"I'm sorry Helga but…I guess I can't help it…we're in love," he smiled.

Helga's shocked gaze softened to a warm smile as she moved towards Brainy. "Thank you Brainy; I'm glad you found someone. And Nadine?" she said, turning towards her, "Look after him."

She nodded and pulled Brainy with her back into the hall, closing the door behind them. Both Arnold and Helga stood still, unable to comprehend what had just happened. "Did Brainy and Nadine just…" Arnold stuttered as Helga nodded.

"And did he just see us here and think we were…"

Again, Helga nodded to Arnold's statement.

"What were you going to say before though Arnold?" Helga asked as she turned to face him.

"I was going to say…that I…do you want to have a dance with me?" he asked, holding out his hand to her.

"Won't your girlfriend mind?"

"She isn't my girlfriend. Besides she's off with some other boy now anyway," he replied sadly.

"Well, we can't have you being left out, now can we?" Helga smiled as she took his hand and felt the shivers run through her spine. His hand was so soft and wonderful.

And if someone had taken a photo she would have had to deny ever touching his hand until the day she died.

Wandering into the prom suddenly became a rather difficult task; no doubt everyone would be watching her every move. And with Arnold now in tow with her, rumours would only spread. In a fit of panic, she rushed forward to the dance floor and tried to blend in, only for Arnold to follow behind her closely. She hated this; even when she had the chance to spend a dance with her beloved, here she was running away from him like some scared cat who had tried to eat Harold's last chocolate pudding.

But the thumping of her heart was getting worse. Sooner or later she would have to acknowledge Arnold's existence behind her as the music slowed down, the soft melody soothing her jaded emotions as Arnold inched closer to her. "Did you still want to dance?"

His voice was so smooth, so calm and so soft in her ear; how she wished he would take her, make her his…smacking herself across the face, Helga shook her head and turned around to Arnold. He was so confident, so sure of himself…how could she say no? Her heart practically commanded her to do it.

"As long as you keep that mind of yours out of the gutter bucko; I'm not some easy catch you know," she smirked, liking the way Arnold seemed to catch onto her bravado…and yet at the same time felt uneasy that he could read her so well.

"Whatever you say Helga."

Holding her hand out to him, he took it into his gently and led her out onto the dance floor, the lights having dimmed to a soft deep blue as the melody carried out over the group. No one seemed to pay them any attention and as Helga placed her hand on his waist, she was sure she was blushing harder than ever before. Being able to hold herself together was a gift she cherished as he placed his hand on her waist. Oh lord Arnold, you have no idea how that makes me feel!

Unable to slap herself, Helga tried to silence the little menace inside that had been pent up for so long. She was a teenager after all! Carefully, Arnold began to lead her, tentatively at first but beginning to build up some rhythm as he began to control her every movement. She likened it to a game of chess, each move calm and calculated. It dawned on her as the group began to take notice that the only time they had danced before this was when she had pulled all those pranks years ago.

"Not planning to push me into a pool again are you Arnold?" she chuckled, hoping in her heart she wasn't about to go for another swim.

Arnold smirked but kept moving to the melody as she felt herself relax into his movements. Slowly they made their way to the centre of the room, her feet now moving of their own accord and drowning out the small voice that told her to take him there and then. Her peers began to move back; one by one they began to surround them in a circle, like sharks toying with their food.

Her mind was racing as the song ended and the music stopped. The lights went out; a flash of red and Arnold moved back. Flashing again for a second she could make out his movement towards her. In between the flashing of red and black, she was sure he was moving very deliberately towards her, his body moving in ways she had never seen or dreamt of him doing. He kept this up until he was holding her, his arm around her waist and looking past her. If ever she was going to make a move, now would not have been the best time.

Without a second's hesitation, Arnold moved behind her gracefully and took her hands with him, spinning her around as they both faced one another. Slowly, Arnold stepped out to the right, bending down low to the right as Helga followed suit. Whatever he had in mind, Helga was sure he was trying to help her through it. As they moved to one another, Helga could swear she saw him sweat and chance a glance at her…shaking her head as he came within inches of her lips, Helga took a step back and smirked. Two could play this game.

Turning her shoulder to him, she blew him a kiss and lifted her dress just a fraction to show off her legs. Why she was even doing this was beyond her, but he responded brilliantly, spinning past her so quickly she was sure he managed to poke her in the ribs. Seductively she held her hand out in front of her, drawing him in as he swayed towards her sensually. The heat in the room began to pour down upon them, Arnold's movement beginning to intensify as Helga followed his lead.

As the crowd stared on in wonder, Helga and Arnold taunted one another, each subtle movement designed to heighten the desire between them. The music began to swell to the conclusion as Arnold was pushed back by a playful push from Helga. Trumpets blared as Arnold moved backwards. Throwing aside his jacket, Helga moved towards him as Arnold ran towards her, the sound piercing the stadium as Helga spun around.

In one smooth motion, she held out her hand towards him, their hands embracing as he swerved and held her tightly against him. Holding each other, Helga's panting was matched by Arnold as the crowd watched on, the music blaring louder than ever before. Time slowed down; Helga could see his eyes searching, pleading with her…but for what? Her mind was clouded as he looked at her closely. Go for it, she heard herself mumble as he leaned in.

Helga felt them crash onto hers before she registered what had happened; holding it softly, yet passionately, Helga could hardly control herself: she was kissing Arnold!

D & F

His uncomfortable gaze worsened as Gerald refused to budge, his steely eyes peering down to the floor in his vain attempt to avoid the conversation Arnold knew he did not want to partake in. How long he had watched his friend slip away, and now with nothing left in the way, here they sat, neither saying a word despite the emptiness that filled them. Arnold wanted to speak, to ask what had happened, to find a clue or something that might lead him to where Helga could be…but the time between him and Gerald was slipping away, and the memory of a lost love stood in the way.

"Gerald, what did you do to Phoebe?" he asked gently, trying to prise the information from his long-time friend.

"Leave me alone Arnold, I didn't do anything," he murmured, wiping away a solemn tear from his eye.

"I don't believe you Gerald."

"Well you should! You're my best friend, you're meant to believe me."

Arnold's resolve to remain calm and patient was wearing thin. "Tell me what happened Gerald; Phoebe was crying that night and we both know it."

Gerald seemed to think about it for a moment before curling into a ball and began to cry. "It's all my fault…I shouldn't have pushed her away…but I wanted the best for her…it's all my fault."

"Gerald," Arnold spoke gently as he stood up and walked towards his friend, sitting next him with a comforting hand on his arm. "What happened?"

Bloodshot eyes look back at him, so miserable and full of pain that he wished nothing more than to be rid of all that held him down. "The prom wasn't the first time…"

D & F

One day before Prom…

His mind was ready and his body was fine; now he was ready for an army to come at him, and it would fall. Gerald was on top of the world and nothing was going to bring him down. School was nearly at an end; soon life would begin! He could be free of all the dull and dreary day to day life that tied him down and wore him to nothing. But at least he had her. Gerald grinned, striding confidently up the steps to knock on the door.

How he had claimed Phoebe as his girlfriend was beyond him. Sure, he had worked hard at it and now they were celebrating two years together, two years spent in the most wonderful and caring love that he had ever come to know. If Arnold ever found out about the love songs he wrote her…he shuddered to think about how much leverage Arnold could gain just through those songs alone. He would be a slave for life. But this love would be worth is, no matter what. A clicking noise from the other side made his heart beat faster as it opened slowly.

Gerald was embracing her before she could return the favour; her parents were away for an hour or two, the formal demanding some of their time in search of the perfect gift for their daughter. Gerald laughed joyfully as Phoebe tickled him, causing him to push her back playfully. They smiled to one another, his mind trailing her as he followed her upstairs. She had been incredibly excited to tell him about something, something so important that she had been unable to tell him over the phone.

With another giggle, Phoebe pushed open the door to her room and pulled him over to her desk, trying to show him what it was that had caught her imagination. His mind was racing: maybe she was going to explain to him their end of year plans, explain in detail the hotel and beaches they would visit and the endless nights spent…Gerald grinned and sat down on the chair as she searched her desk for the important information.

"So, what was so important that you couldn't wait to tell me?" Gerald smiled as he watched his rather gorgeous girlfriend giggle.

"I didn't know how else to tell you Gerald…but I've been accepted!"

Gerald smiled. "That's great babe; which one took you?"

"Oxford in England Gerald," she beamed at him.

The area where his stomach was meant to be shattered into a million pieces. "That's…great."

Phoebe was so excited she failed to notice his look of despair. She had been accepted…he knew this was always going to happen, but was this what he really wanted? He knew she was going abroad now. He would have to follow her surely? But how? He wasn't exactly living the life; he would have to save up money to be able to live in England, more money than he'd ever had before…and would she still want him?

Gerald didn't know what to say and unfortunately for him it showed as Phoebe finally picked up on it. "Gerald is something wrong?"

"No, nothing at all my fine lady," he tried smirking, pulling her closer for a kiss.

"Gerald, don't think of me as a fool."

She knew him better than he knew himself at times. "I don't think of you as a fool Phoebe."

"Then why are you lying to me?"

Oh Lord. "I'm not lying to you- "

"Gerald you're not ok with me going, are you?" Phoebe looked at him, her concern growing as he tried to hide what he was feeling.

He was trying to find an excuse or divert the focus onto something else…Lord he had only been here five minutes and it was all falling apart. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean not exactly? It's simple; yes or no."

Her hands on her hips wasn't helping his thoughts as he tried to think of a way of keeping what he thought out of the conversation. "…no."

Phoebe's next few words were drowned out as she began to yell at him. He assumed she was; he had tried to keep her here against her own will and now he was going to be punished for it. Her voice was slowly piercing the haze around his ears and he wished he hadn't heard the next few words. "Maybe I should just break up with you now."

Gerald felt a bone snap inside, his mind suddenly fuelled by an angry red fire that began to erupt inside and out. He loved her, didn't she know that? "Maybe you should Phoebe! Obviously, I'm not cut out to be your boyfriend," he shouted, stunning Phoebe as her eyes enlarged to the size of baseballs.

"Gerald, I- "

"I already get it Phoebe; you're going and nothing will change it. I should just leave you now, before we have to do it later," he spat venomously, storming away from her cries and pleas, the bitter tears being wiped away hurriedly as he slammed the front door behind him…

D & F

"So, you patched it up later?" Arnold asked as Gerald nodded solemnly.

"She never quite got over it though; she would bring it up every now and then. But…she never openly said much about it," Gerald whispered, sinking further back into the chair.

"If she never brought it up openly again, how come you two kept fighting?"

Gerald sniggered. "What else was there to do? Each time we fought we were hiding away what we really felt. I knew she was going to leave and she knew it too. There wasn't anything either of us could do…as soon as we mentioned the truth it would end."

Arnold sat back puzzled. "This isn't making much sense. If you two fought so much, who did you turn to for help?"

Gerald looked at Arnold strangely and shook his head. "Arnold, you're the first soul I've told. As for Phoebe, I think she suggested this doctor Helga had gone to a long time ago for help…but I never went."

"What was her name?" he asked impatiently.

"I don't know Arnold. Maybe you should go," Gerald beckoned towards the door, his face defeated and worn out.

Gathering himself, Arnold stood up and headed towards the door but paused for a moment before reaching for the handle. "What was the last thing you told Phoebe, Gerald?" he asked, his eyes focused on the door in front of him.

He could hear some shuffling, a slight cough before Gerald spoke. "I told her she should go."

Arnold sighed and opened the door. He felt no closer to Helga upon leaving the house and walking down the path towards home.

D & F

Sitting on the couch in Rhonda's apartment, Helga felt herself begin to let go of the early morning talk and enjoy the smell of dinner being cooked by Rhonda in the kitchen. Meat was on the agenda and as the smell wafted towards her nose time and time again, Helga was sure that she would be biting into the pillow shortly if Rhonda did not hurry up.

"Helga, when you and Arnold kissed, what happened afterwards?" Rhonda called from the kitchen.

"Nothing happened," Helga shrugged her shoulders.

"Nothing? That seems peculiar. You finally kiss him after all these years and nothing happens? I don't think so Helga. Have you seen Arnold recently?"

"Of course," she replied a bit too quickly.

Smirking as she walked into the room, Rhonda handed her the plate of food and sat down near her and began to eat. "Have you noticed anything different?"

"Different? He's the same football headed boy that I've always known," Helga replied as she tucked into the food on her plate gleefully.

Rhonda shook her head, frowning deeply as she tried to chew off some of the steak on her fork. "Might have overcooked it a little. I mean something that may not have been there originally, something that has changed since you saw him in high school."

"Nope, nothing there to report on."

D & F

Arnold's arrival home was greeted through hugs of relief and a couple of pats on the back from his friends, but his head was spinning and his body weary. With a promise to talk to everyone tomorrow, he staggered up to his room and opened the door. It was untouched, so clean and neat that he could have sworn he had been in here this morning. The moon light was obscured by the clouds above, but he didn't mind much. Kicking off his shoes, Arnold crawled under the blankets and felt his eyes shut themselves of their own accord.

He was tired. Eyes closed, body aching and head spinning, Arnold was trying to piece together what he knew so far but to no avail. It was all jumbled up, the pieces to his puzzle mixed and drawn over with what he now knew to be the truth. Gerald's confessions had proven little as to where Helga was. And Phoebe…Arnold tried to brush away the thought of Phoebe and ignore the pain that filled his heart.

He hated to think of what she must have done that night, writing that final letter before leaving to go see Helga. And Helga…she had to watch and endure it all, without knowing what to do. How she had managed to cope for this long was amazing. She had stayed with Phoebe all the way up to the end, even when Phoebe had left her alone…

Alone…

He knew that feeling all too well. Arnold's empty place in his heart wasn't helped as one mistake after another came tumbling down…the formal…Arnold cursed himself for being so stupid and rolled over, determined to forget about that kiss.

D & F

For the next few hours Helga and Rhonda talked and talked, with more wine beginning to be consumed faster and faster as the night moved on. And with a sudden realisation, Helga and Rhonda both went to bed, both lost in their own worlds as Helga's mind tried to replay the conversation from earlier in the evening. Arnold hadn't changed; he was still the same, minus one or two things that wasn't right about him, but they were nothing major…

"Rhonda!"

Fumbling and a few choice words could be heard from the next room as a banging of doors was followed by the appearance of Rhonda, dressed in pyjamas and looking at her Helga wide eyed and afraid.

"What is it?"

"How daft could I have been? Of course, something would have to happen after that kiss. Neither of us would have let it go. There was more to that memory wasn't there?" Helga asked, Rhonda's lips curling into a smile at watching Helga's realisation.

"The only question is, do you remember Helga?"

Helga sat for a moment and thought about it before finally speaking. "I think so…Arnold changed that night."