After a long wait here is chapter 3 of Project R. I thank everyone for their patiences in waiting for this chapter. I had been swamped with school work until after finals and could really get it to after my finals. My beta's had the same problems and with break and family it took some time. However, here it is and sorry for the long wait. To show everyone that we are working on this, I have finished writing chapter 4 and my great beta's SniegZ and Angelbecca are working on it right now and I have 50 of chapter 5 done. So without further ado, chapter 3. I don't own full metal panic or Metal Gear, I do own Michael. Enjoy!! For a bit of advertising check out my Avatar Story inspired by Assassin's Creed called Avatar: Black Lotus.


Michael went through the profiles again as Tessa sat in his office, "Lt. Mao would be the best choice in this operation." Tessa took a sip of her tea as Michael continued.

"She's head of the SRT as of now and is one of the best soldiers that you have right now," He dropped the file on his table, "Plus she has worked with Sousuke before."

Tessa put her tea down and looked at Michael, "Your seem to only choose people that have worked with Sousuke and know him well?"

Michael nodded. He really hated the fact that he had to talk to Tessa right now. However she was not a problem, "The best people you can count on are those that you have fought with before in battle."

Tessa nodded, "I agree. Lt Mao and Sgt. Sousuke have worked well together in the past." She looked through the file, "Now the choice is who is the fourth member?"

Michael leaned back into his chair, "Mei Ling."

Tessa was not expecting that, "She is the head of communication. I doubt that she has any real combat experience."

Michael nodded, "True but does that mean she can't fight. She knows a few moves and is a good shot with a pistol. She can kill."

Tessa sighed, "Is there anyone else we can get?"

Michael shook his head, "No. Most of our operatives are around the world waiting for the moment we mount our strike and are gathering critical information in the mean time. We can't afford to pull any of them back until we get the information we needed."

Tessa was hesitant about it. Granted, that Mei Ling was good at fighting. There was no way she could handle an operation of this magnitude.

"The reason for sending Mei Ling is not to offer more combat experience to the team, it is because she can hack into the mainframe of Amalgam."

Tessa looked at him, obviously waiting for elaboration.

"We're hoping to lure a member away and use his code clearance to break into there database."

Tessa understood where he was going. It was the same method Mithril used to capture the intelligence traitor, "So two girls seduce one guy and hack into the mainframe?"

"Wow, your not as inept as you look." Michael mocked.

Tessa cleared her throat and drank her tea, "SO Mei Ling hacks into the database then what?"

"All she needs to do is get access to the database. Once we establish a link from this base to their mainframe Otacon can take over."

Tessa thought for a second, "What about firewalls and other protection?"

Michael smiled, "Let Otacon worry about that."

Tessa was still worried about it. However, Otacon or Dr. Emmerich was their top hacker.

"Mr. Kanzuki," She was wary of addressing him as Major at this point. It was one of the small tactics she employed to avoid instigating further fighting, "What about Sgt. Sagara?"

Michael smiled when she asked that, "Let Snake worry about him."

Tessa smiled for a second, "So the Sgt is having a hard time?"

Michael looked at his watch, "Looking at my watch Snake should still be throwing him around."

"Was it wise to have him assist in Sgt Sagara's rehabilitation?" Tessa was still not sure it was a good idea to have 'the' Solid Snake help Sousuke.

"Captain," It was a rare moment for Michael to actually address her like that, "Snake has an eye for talent and knows what he is doing. I'm sure that he is not just throwing around Sousuke because he finds it fun."


Sousuke doubled over from a punch in the gut. The next thing he knew Snake grabbed his head and threw him across the mat.

He landed hard on the other side of the mat and rolled to his stomach. Sousuke wheezed and coughed as he tried to catch his breath from that last attack.

Snake cracked his neck, "Have to admit kid, I kinda like throwing you around."

Sousuke struggled to one knee and tried to stand. He started to feel light headed and fell back down to one knee.

Mao finished her beer, "C'mon Sousuke! Show that old man!"

Snake turned to Mao, "Old man, I'm not that old."

Weber smiled, "Well, from the looks of it you don't age gracefully do you?"

Snake scoffed, "This coming from the guy who sneaks around peaking at women huh? I may old but your still an immature kid."

Weber opened another beer, "Still a kid huh. I guess that means I'm still young then?"

Snake chuckled, "No it means your never going to get laid again."

Mao laughed out loud at that comment, "He's got a point at that." She said trying to finish her beer.

Weber scoffed, "Well, how about that young guy." Weber pointed behind Snake.

Snake smiled and caught the kick that was meant for his midsection, "Attacking while I was distracted. Got to admit," He pulled his leg and Sousuke lost his balance. Snake took the opportunity to kick Sousuke in his side, "Your better than I thought."

Sousuke grabbed his sides and panted as he felt the fresh pain from the most recent attacks. Sousuke looked up at Snake.

This was the legend himself.

This was the man who destroyed Metal Gear two times and defeated Big Boss.

"If your going to keep gawking," Snake picked him up and punched him in the gut, "The enemy will kill you." He punched him again.

Sousuke groaned out in pain with each hit. After the third hit Snake let him fall. He fell to his knees coughing up spit and blood.

Mao slammed her beer, "C'mon Sousuke is still recovering Snake! Go easy on him!" She yelled. Sousuke was still recovering from his previous wounds and if he was to be part of the operation he would need to be one hundred percent.

"Lt," Snake looked turned his head and looked at her, "I know what I am doing."

Sousuke rose as he wobbled side to side trying to keep himself together, "It's not a problem Snake." He was able to get out as he assumed a fighting stance.

Snake smiled, "You got guts kid. I would expect nothing less." Snake took a step forward and delivered a punch.

Sousuke blocked it pushed it to side like he saw Michael do against Tsubaki. He did not know much about CQC but he could copy a move like that.

Sousuke saw an opening and delivered a punch at Snake.

Snake quickly grabbed the arm and pulled Sousuke behind him. In swift motion Sousuke was on his stomach and Snake pulled his arm up, and pressed his free hand against Sousuke's shoulder.

Sousuke kept silent not wanting to show pain.

"C'mon kid, show me what you got." Snake said as he pulled the arm up more, but Sousuke was not going to give in.

Sousuke gripped the mat and fought to shake Snake off or at least stand up.

Snake applied more pressure on Sousuke's shoulder and pressed him down harder.

Snake smiled and let go of the grip around his arms, "That is enough for today kid."

Sousuke panted as he struggled to get up when he was suddenly lifted straight up by his shirt, "I can walk." He protested.

"Nonsense," Weber took an arm and put it around his shoulder leading him, "we can't have our Die-hard be done in by tripping and hitting a pipe now."

Sousuke said nothing as he was lead out with Weber's help.

Mao threw Snake a beer, "Keep pushing him like that and he will die." She closed her cooler.

Snake opened the beer, "That's the point. He has a lot of potential in him. I have not seen someone who could last that long besides Michael and a few others." He started to drink the beer.

Mao scoffed, "Please save the sweet talk. I don't know what your plan is Snake but he is still hurt and needs more rest. I can't understand why Michael wanted you to train him."

"I wanted to do it from the start." Snake looked at her.

Mao was silent.

"I was not kidding when I said he had potential in him. Let's just say that he can be greater if pushed in the right direction." He threw the empty can to Mao who caught it.

"Right direction? What are you talking about?" Mao demanded.

Snake smiled, "Throw that away for me when your done." Snake finished as he left the gym.


"I do have to admit buddy it was funny seeing you be thrown around for a few hours. I have to admit that you have a lot of endurance." Weber commented as he lead Sousuke to his room.

"I keep my body in peak physical condition so that I can endure long periods of time stress and exertion during missions. You should know that since we are on SRT." Sousuke answered.

Weber laughed softly, "That and you keep taking hits from Kaname with that fan of hers."

Sousuke was silent hearing that.

Weber sighed when he realized what he said, "I'm sorry for-"

"Don't worry about it. I was just thinking." Sousuke said.

"About her right?" He asked with his usual big grin.

Sousuke blushed as he looked away.

"Just say it buddy, you want to see her again."

Sousuke looked at the wall, "The school knows about me."

Weber lost his smile as he looked at him.

"The school knows about Michael, Kaname and I. They know what we do and what we are. Michael even had to kill two men who were coming to kill the students." Sousuke said, remembered that particular detail. Michael should not have done that but what choice did he have.

"Sousuke." Weber said not sure what to say.

"Ono-D wanted me to try and explain myself and our actions. However, how can anyone?" Sousuke looked at Weber, "I know I am not welcomed there anymore."

Weber opened the door to his room and set Sousuke down on the couch as he took a seat, "Sousuke, we will do everything we can to help get her back but you need to make a choice." Weber said as he got up.

Sousuke looked at him.

"What do you love more? Being a soldier or being with her?" With that Weber left the room.

Sousuke sighed as leaned against the cushion. It was the same question that Michael asked him before they left. It was one that he had no real answer to considering to him it wasn't an option to give up either.

Before Sousuke knew right from wrong he was given a gun and grew up on the battlefield. His whole being was based on being a soldier and nothing more. In his early life, anything other than thought than that would get him killed.

However, Kaname showed him more.

She showed him a world away from war, conflict and blood. And above all, she praised him as a person and not as a soldier. She praised Sousuke Sagara the person, not the soldier. That kind of praise was something that was still new to him even to this day.

Kaname gave Sousuke a chance to grow as a person instead of a soldier. He had a chance to grow normally. It was a feeling he loved and it was his home. It was his home and he could never go back.

There was a knock at his door.

Sousuke slowly pulled himself up despite the fact that he was still horribly sore from Snake's training.

He opened the door and froze, "Captain?" Sousuke looked at her timid image standing there holding a plate in her hands. Sousuke always got nervous when she appeared at his doorstep and today was no different.

Tessa noticed the bullets of sweat running down his face and so she smiled to put him at ease, "Sgt, I was thinking that you may be hungry after that training session." She had made the meal before the end of his training session despite the fact that according to Michael it would be a blessing if Sousuke survived his first training session with Snake. She was now able to confirm Snake's training methods were in fact rather brutal due to Sousuke's rough appearance. If she didn't know better she would have assume he had just taken 10 weeks worth of beatings from Kaname in an hour.

"Uh," Sousuke was not sure how to answer or even respond to this offer. His first instinct was to look for either the Commander or even the duo of Mao and Weber.

Upon detecting the Sgt's indecision Tessa quickly asserted herself. "Nonsense Sgt, I heard that you had a hard day and this could help!" She pushed her way in and Sousuke made one more nervous look to make sure that the Commander was not around.

"I cooked something I thought you might like." She opened the steaming bowl and it was spaghetti carbonara.

Sousuke wasn't sure what to really say besides, "Thank you Captain."

Tessa smiled, "Sgt, I'm not on duty right now so call me Tessa." She opened the cabinet doors and pulled out two plates.

"Sure, uh Tessa." He said still obviously nervous and uncomfortable calling her that.

"Enjoy, Sousuke." She smiled enjoying the time that she had with him as she handed him a plate.

"Thank you." He said and started to shove as much of the food as he could into his mouth at the same time. He was eating more than he had expected but that was a result of Snake's training program he reasoned.

Tessa giggled as she watched Sousuke cram the food into his mouth. She felt a little guilty considering what she was doing right now.

Tessa knew how much Sousuke cared for Kaname and yet she wished she was wrong about it. She wanted to think that he was doing this because Kaname was a whispered and it was his mission to protect her.

It was a foolish thought and she knew it.

After hearing Sousuke's details of the attack on the city it was clear that he was in love with Kaname and cared about her deeply.

It was just like the cruise liner incident when Sousuke told her that he cared more about Kaname than her.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a knock on the door.

Tessa was hesitant to answer the door since this was the first time she had been alone with Sousuke in quite a while. So she opened the door slowly as if trying to stretch their private time together, if even by a few seconds, "Colonel?"

Sousuke immediately dropped his fork and stood at full attention hearing that word.

Tessa opened the door and Colonel Campbell entered the room, "Sgt. Sagara I see that you are still breathing."

Sousuke gave a sharp salute, "Sir, it was fine."

Campbell chuckled a little, "Strict with protocol. The rumors were true about you," He extended his hand, "We talked over the CODEC, but never in person."

Sousuke was hesitant but took the hand, "It is an honor sir."

"The honor is mine. I heard rumors about your skill with the ARX-7 along with other incidents." He smiled for a second.

"Thank you sir." Sousuke was always hesitant when he thought of Al when the Arbalest was decimated by Leonard's AS suit.

"We heard about what happened with Belial and we are trying to discover all we can about it. However," He sighed, "We currently know nothing about it."

"Nothing sir?" Sousuke took a seat as did the Colonel.

He sighed as he took his hat off, "It appears to be one of his most guarded secrets. It seems he set the whole thing up so that only he can find and look at the files about it."

Sousuke listened attentively, "Colonel if I may?"

He nodded as Tessa took a seat.

Sousuke took a deep breath, "Could it be that Belial is the next generation of AS suits?"

Colonel froze for second and turned to Tessa, "Is it possible?"

Tessa thought for a second as she digested the information. Very little information was recovered about that monster. The combat data was still being analyzed and nothing could be concluded about it, "From what we could gather, it is possible for it. Both suits had a Lambda driver installed in them, but from what Sousuke told us, the suit sustained no damage. Not only that it redirected an attack right back at the Arbalest."

Sousuke looked away thinking about the attack he used to start the fight. It was the same one he used to destroy Gates and it seemed that nothing could block it.

"Sgt. I hate to say it but with Leonard's understanding of the Lambda driver, you are at disadvantage." Tessa said sadly.

Sousuke took a deep and heavy breath as he let it sink in. Leonard had outsmarted and outclassed both himself and Michael. It seemed that the only real way to beat him would be on the ground and away from extra support. That was easier said than done. Leonard's strength relied on his ability to put the situation in his favor no matter the outcome. It was the same strategy he had used in the Tokyo attack.

Everything was meant to push the brothers limits and than hit with the strongest attack.

Michael against Ocelot, and Sousuke going against Leonard.

Sousuke looked at them, "Do we have a chance?"

Tessa smiled and looked at the Colonel who started, "I've worked with a lot of men and have seen a lot of them accomplish impossible things Sgt." He stood up to leave, "You have to be willing to conquer your fear." With those words he left the room.

Tessa closed the door and looked back at Sousuke who looked to be lost in deep thoughts, "Sousuke are you okay?"

Sousuke did not respond but the only thought that kept going through his head was fear.

He looked at Tessa, "Captain if you would be so kind as to excuse yourself, I have to be up early tomorrow." Sousuke rose slowly and left the living room.

"Sure and-" She did not finish when Sousuke closed the door.

Tessa bit her hair wondering what would happen next with the young man.


The next two days did not go well for Sousuke.

He just could not seem to grasp Snake's training regiment and Snake was not helping at all.

A mean hook sent Sousuke flying back as Snake scoffed, "What the hell is your problem kid?!"

Sousuke coughed and wiped the spit from his mouth, "Nothing is wrong."

"Bullshit!" Snake sent a knee right to Sousuke's side causing him to topple over,

"Something is bothering you!" He picked him up and punched him across his jaw, "And it is affecting you!" He elbowed him and hooked under his shoulder. Snake then lifted him up by his legs and threw him across the room.

Sousuke landed hard on his back knocking the wind out of him. He started to wheeze as the impact took its toll on him. He gripped his still injured side where the ribs were still bruised from his tumble down the stadium.

Weber got up to help, "Hey that is enough pal. Sousuke-"

"He stays." Snake said firmly not opening any room for argument.

"Hey I don't know what you do to your rookies and all but this is going to far!" Weber yelled getting right in Snake's face. Weber was known to crack jokes but he always stood up for his friends and comrades at the right time.

"I'll say it again," Snake said and leaned forward obviously not bothered by Weber, "He stays."

Weber shoved his finger at Snake, "Listen you-"

He stopped when he felt a hand on his wrist. Weber looked down and Sousuke using it to stand up, "It's not a problem."

Michael walked in to check on his brother with Mei Ling next to him. He heard from the Colonel about their little talk and how something was bothering Sousuke.

Mei Ling whispered to Michael, "You know what it is, don't you."

Michael leaned against the wall with his arms crossed saying nothing.

"Sousuke you can barely stand and your coughing up blood." Weber said as Sousuke rose to stand against Snake."

"Weber," He said between breathes, "It is not a problem." He shoved Weber off of the mat and assumed a stance.

"Stop being tough." Snake threw a punch and was surprised that Sousuke blocked, "Still a little fight left?"

Sousuke threw the arm back and began his own assault with punches and kicks.

"I know what is bothering you," He reversed a punched and countered with his own, "It's a simple thing but you try to find it." Snake slid under and delivered a kick to Sousuke's ribs and then pulled his legs right out from under him.

Sousuke landed hard on his back but quickly recovered as he rolled back to avoid Snake's feet coming down at his face.

Sousuke rolled and was on the defensive as Snake attacked him.

"It's fear." He said as he gripped Sousuke's fist.

"What?!" Sousuke yelled in surprise. He was not afraid of anything. Sousuke had conquered death and-

His thoughts were interrupted as Snake bent his fist back causing him to fall to one knee. In a weak attempt Sousuke threw his other fist and it was caught by Snake who bent it back.

Now Sousuke was on his knees, "I don't know what-"

"Liar." Snake said as he bent Sousuke's fists back more causing him to let out a cry of pain.

Weber and Mao stood up but were blocked by Michael.

Mao was about to speak but Michael shook his head, "He needs to do this. Snake knows what he is doing, you have to trust me."

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"Bullshit," Snake got down to his level so that he could look him in the eyes, "I can see it. Your afraid of something and you need to admit it if you want to survive this coming war."

Sousuke gritted his teeth.

"What happened in Tokyo that caused this!?" Snake bent hands back.

Sousuke felt the pain and it was becoming unbearable, "It was nothing!"

"Don't lie to yourself!" Snake yelled, "What was it?!"

Sousuke held his tongue trying holding the pain back.

"Fear of what!? Failure!? Loss!? You losing her forever!? What was it Sousuke!?" Snake yelled louder.

"I don't know!" Sousuke yelled out as the pain intensified.

"Than you had better find out! I've seen men with more years of experience be destroyed by fear. Something that did not seem to bother them at first ate them up! It caused the death of not just the men but others as well!" Snake growled out.

"I don't know!" Sousuke was not sure what Snake was asking or what he wanted him to say until-

"I don't know how to look at you anymore!"

Sousuke's eyes opened in surprised as he remembered those words. Nine words were enough to shake his soul now.

Snake saw the change and let go, "What do you fear?"

Sousuke panted but said, "Myself."

Snake got on one knee and looked at him, "What about yourself?"

Sousuke took a deep breath, "Gauron had said that I had the eyes of a saint. I knew no pain, suffering, love hate or any emotion like that. I was the perfect soldier."

Snake remembered meeting Gauron once and regretted not being the one to take him down.

Weber and Mao took a seat not saying anything. They just remembered that Sousuke was still a teenager. He was forced to grow up so fast and hide so much pain. It came clear to them as to why he cared so much about Kaname.

"Things started to change after going to school." Sousuke explained.

"A new look at things right?" Snake asked.

Sousuke nodded, "Chidori, no Kaname, saw me as a person. Not a soldier or a weapon for others. Just a normal person. I felt at home and felt I found the place that Mr. Frank wanted us to find."

Snake froze after hearing the name Frank, "Can't be." He muttered making sure Sousuke could not hear them.

"After the bombs went off," Sousuke continued, "Kaname got worse. She told
myself and Michael that Leonard told her how many men we had killed." It was a bitter pill to swallow when he heard those words coming out of Kaname's mouth.

"A dirty trick from a jackal like him." Snake said.

"She told us that she did like me but after all that had happened," He paused as he looked at Michael who sighed as well, "She did not know how to look at me anymore."

Mao and Weber could not believe what they were hearing. It was true that Kaname knew very little about Sousuke as a soldier and the attack may have been the first time she really saw him in that light.

However, to go that far. More had happened than they originally thought.

Mei Ling bit her finger as she glanced at Michael who still stood with a stone cold face listening to every word.

She slowly reached for Michael's hand but the moment she touched it he shook it away and crossed his arms. Mei ling crossed her arms not letting it bother her.

"Most people who don't see combat can't really understand what it is about." Snake responded.

"Survival by any means in order to see tomorrow." It was the main thing that kept Sousuke alive through his early years.

"Exactly, and to survive you need to take lives, in order to see tomorrow." Snake continued, "Very few know and understand that lesson. You and your brother understand that lesson but many do not. They see killing as wrong and it is the black and white they understand and never the gray that surrounds it."

Sousuke never thought of that.

"Kaname has yet to see it the same way you do, and she knows a little about you or your way of life. She has to understand that you do not like killing. But you see it as necessary to save lives. However," He stood up and extended his hand, "You will not know until you talk to her."

Sousuke looked at the hand with suspicion.

Snake laughed a little, "Your learning but I'm being honest."

Sousuke slowly grasped the hand as Snake lifted him up with ease.

"You need to put doubts like that out of your head," He turned his back toward Sousuke,

"Doubts like that will eat away at you slowly and will come at the worse time."

Sousuke looked at Snake. Sousuke was not sure how he could even respond to what Snake had just said to him. Everything was right on the money and identified his weak points.

"We are not Gods Sousuke. We are not made of metal or steel or of gunpowder or anything else." He turned and looked at him. Snake smiled, in way Sousuke reminded him of himself when he was younger, "We are human and we cannot deny that no matter what."

Sousuke grabbed his sides as he looked at Snake, "But what if she wants nothing to do with me."

Snake merely smiled, "Than are you going to stop?"

Sousuke looked at him, "No I-"

"What if questions are the things that are going to get you killed in battle. You have to erase all doubts from this point on about yourself and how others view you. Geez, you sound like a little girl." Snake laughed at that.

Sousuke froze not really sure how to even think after that comment.

"Kashim and Sousuke share one body but are two different people. That is something you need to understand." Snake explained, "Kashim was your past and it is the thing that holds you back. Are you Kashim?"

"No." Sousuke answered strongly. Gauron and Leonard had perceived him as this young and cold assassin with no regards, except killing his target.

"Then show me the eyes with humanity in them. Those are the eyes of Sousuke Sagara and not of Kashim." Snake threw a kick and the fight continued.

This time Sousuke was somewhat able to keep up with Snake. It was not a lot but better than having his head thrown around the mat.

Mao smiled as she took a sip of her beer, "Seems that little pep talk did some good for the die hard."

Weber smiled as he put his hand on Mao's leg, "Yea and nothing can-" A boot greeted his face.

"Try that again and I'll have Mei Ling go to town on you." Mao pointed at Mei Ling who innocently waved at Weber.

Weber turned back to the fight where Sousuke seemed to be holding his own, but barely.

Snake sent a hook but Sousuke ducked underneath it to try and trip Snake.

Snake skipped back a little to avoid the leg sweep from Sousuke.

Taking this opportunity Sousuke lunged at Snake in a football fashion taking Snake down.

Everyone rose as they watched this new outcome

Michael merely smiled.

Sousuke wrestled and was on top of Snake. In one motion he punched him across his face.

Snake merely smiled, "Very good." Almost effortlessly Snake threw Sousuke off of him and stood up as he looked at Michael, "I say he passed."

Michael nodded, "I told you he would."

Sousuke grabbed his head and looked in confusion, "I passed?"

"Yep, this is a test I do with rookies like you kid. They get all scared and shit because they face Solid Snake all that crap." Snake spat out.

"So what were you testing?" Weber asked throwing a beer to Snake who caught it with one hand.

"Fear." Snake opened the beer.

"Fear?" Mao asked supporting the wobbling Sousuke.

"Fear," He finished drinking the beer for a moment, "I can see it in everyone's eyes when they first come in. The only real way to survive in FOXHOUND or Mithril or in any unit like that is to conquer it. On the battlefield the slightest hesitation or doubt can lead to that fear. It can come in many forms, from dying, to doubting who we are, to dealing with a hard past." He looked at Michael who merely walked away without saying anything.

Mei Ling looked at Snake who just looked at her then back at Sousuke. She followed after him into the halls.

"Keep this in mind Sousuke," Snake said getting his attention, "Kashim and Sousuke are two different people. Keep that in mind and your fear will be under control."

Sousuke nodded not sure what to really say.

"I'll go tell the Colonel that you passed. Be proud, most don't." Snake walked away throwing the can at Weber who caught it, "Throw that away blonde."

After Snake left Mao and Weber threw their arms around Sousuke, "YOU PASSED YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Sousuke was caught off guard as they danced him around, "Uhhh."

"C'mon pal," Weber threw a beer in his hand, "Drink up!"

Mao finished her beer and threw the can in the cooler, "Yea! Not everyday you get passed by the 'Solid Snake'"

"Tonight," Weber pointed at Sousuke, "We party like you are 21!!!" He yelled

Mao agreed as they dragged Sousuke toward his room.

Sousuke's only response was, "Uhhh."


Mei Ling chased after Michael in the halls. The words that Snake spoke were the same

words that Michael had heard from Snake when he was being trained.

She knew full well that the message was for both brothers.

"MICHAEL!" She yelled to out to her friend who was still walking, "Please we need to talk!"

Michael stopped but did not turn around, "There is nothing to talk about." He said coolly.

She caught her breath, "Yes there is!" She grabbed his arm, "When are you going to forgive yourself for what happened?" She gently inquired.

Michael did not say anything.

"I cannot imagine the pain and torture you put yourself through ever since Mary died." Mei Ling said.

"Mary did not die, she was killed by me." Michael choked out before he started to walk. That was the fact plain and simple.

Mei Ling kept her grip on his arm, "What happened was horrible but how much longer are you going to torture yourself!?"

Michael was silent but looked at her. He looked at her kindly without any hate or anger toward her. This was the first time he had ever really done this. The other times he looked actually looked at her were when she tried to get him to open up about what happened. However all previous attempts she made ended with him leaving in silence.

"Look at you," She ran in front him looking at him, "You try so hard to save everyone. To stop every bad thing from happening to those you care about."

Michael looked away from her.

"You made a terrible mistake that day, but have you not tortured yourself enough about it." Mei Ling said gently looking at him.

Michael took a deep breath, "The greatest sin a soldier can make is to kill an innocent."

He looked at her hard, "What right do I have to even ask for happiness when I have committed the greatest sin?"

Mei Ling was silent.

"I took the life of someone that I cared about. I shot her in the head and showed who I really was inside."

Mei Ling shook her head, "No, don't-"

"I'm a monster Mei Ling." He said

Mei Ling slapped him and looked at him fiercely, "You are not a monster. You have done great work and did great things. Can a monster do that?"

"Does a monster care if he killed two people without hesitation in front of a class room of

students?"

Mei Ling's eyes widened in surprise.

"Does a monster kill three men in the daylight in a crowded street?"

Mei Ling took a deep breath, "Does a monster go out and save his brother?" She put her hand on his face, "Does a monster risk his life to keep someone he loved from leaving?"

Michael looked away but Mei Ling pushed his head to look at her, "A monster has no emotions or feelings. He kills without hesitation and with no discretion toward his prey. Are you like that?"

Michael took Mei Ling's hand gently off his face and walked past her, "Monster or not Mei Ling, I did something wrong that day. A ghost was created that will never let me have peace. Just save yourself the pain and let me go. I'm in a place that you cannot follow." He said the last part gently.

Mei Ling felt tears on her face but remained stoic. She grabbed his hands and leaned against his back, "Why can't you let the past go Michael? You're only seventeen, you have the right to peace despite what you did. Why can't you let it go?" She said as the tears hit Michael's back.

Michael was silent as he felt the tears seep through his coat and shirt. His heart was frantic but his mind was in control. He fought the tears from his face and took a deep breath, "Because it will not let go of me. No matter how hard I try to run." He gently pushed Mei Ling off his back and walked down the hall.

Michael knew that he and Sousuke walked different paths. His path would go on without end. It was a path of corpses and he walked over them. The dead would always be with him.

Mei Ling covered her mouth and took a few deep breaths. She wiped the tears from her face as she fought to control herself. It was hard to get through to Michael about this.

That event still haunted him despite the appearance he showed. Inside he was still in conflict over that day.

Just as Snake said, something from the past can eat a soldier up. It would become fear and it would strike at the worst time.

"He's fighting so hard to keep that tough guy act up." Mei Ling turned and saw Snake walking towards her.

"Snake? Did you-"

Snake nodded, "Yea I did."

Mei Ling looked at the empty hallway, "I don't know Snake."

"Don't know what?" He walked up next to her.

"How much longer can he keep to the past?" Mei Ling said as she took a deep breath to stop herself from crying.

"He knows full well that if he doesn't let go of the past," He looked at Mei Ling, "He can have no future. It is the same with Sousuke. The two have the same problem."

Mei Ling's body started to shake from the tears she was fighting to hold back, "Why do they have to fight so hard? So much is expected of them and they carry heavy burdens that could crush anyone, and they try to carry them alone."

Snake put his hand on Mei Ling's shoulder, "When you grow up like they did, any sign of weakness can kill you. Become like stone and have a heart of steel is what they have learned. If they dwell on things then it becomes a distraction and can get them killed."

Mei Ling was silent as she took a deep breath.

"Men like them, are hard to reach. They are even harder to understand." Snake walked away and left her alone with her thoughts.

Mei Ling took another deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. She needed to be strong if she was going to be of some help in the next mission. Now was not the time for tears or sorrow.

She would try again to help Michael deal with his past.

Mei Ling would help him, like he helped her.


When Michael went to get Sousuke the next morning he was not sure what to make of the two SRT members completely drunk and passed out in the living room.

Silently Sousuke crept out of the room until his foot accidentally touched the table causing it to send a very subtle sound.

The next thing the two knew a beer can came flying at them which they narrowly dodged. They were not lucky with the other cans being thrown by the hung over Lt.

Michael pulled Sousuke out of the apartment and slammed the door which resulted in

Mao yelling, "TOO LOUD!"

The two brothers merely looked at each other and proceeded to head to the Development Wing of the base.

At that wing, they would be given tools to make sure the mission would be completed with success. Also, in case something happened they would have the element of surprise.

They exited the elevator, "FOXHOUND is not really use to doing assigning this kind of technology. We mostly use the simple things in the field but this case is different."

"Like using a pen as a grenade?" Sousuke asked with an interest in what the designers had in mind.

"Too easy." Michael cracked his neck thankful to not be in the stuffy uniform he had to wear around the base. He was wearing some normal clothes but still had his gun with him. Sousuke had his gun with him as well. It was a habit but it was the only thing that could keep them calm.

"I should warn you about the hermit." Michael said as he opened the door leading to the development wing.

"Hermit?" Sousuke questioned as he stopped in the hall not sure of what he just heard.

Michael entered his code and the door beeped granting him access, "Yea, he spends a lot of his time in this room. He can be a little crazy so we just call him the hermit."

He opened the door and they were greeted with a powerful boom and a loud cheer.

The wing had sealed off rooms where they could test things safely. However, the boom was a result of underestimating the safety required.

Michael and Sousuke came in and saw that one of the glass windows had been shattered by some explosion. People rushed out to see smoke coming streaming out of the room with a few stunned technicians wondering what just happened.

A short old man leapt over the now broken window frame like he was jumping a fence and yelled, "I TOLD YOU I COULD BREAK IT!" He pointed to a stunned woman and started to dance around.

Sousuke was not really sure how to comprehend what he just saw. He pointed to the man, "The hermit?"

Michael sighed and said, "The hermit."

The man turned and saw Michael and Sousuke. He pushed people out of the way and hugged Michael, "Michael my boy! So good of you to come by and see an old man."

The wind was knocked of Michael when he grabbed him. For an old man, he was still pretty strong, "Good to see you too Hermit."

Hermit let go and turned to Sousuke, "So this is the guy who blows up lockers at his school. Sgt. Sousuke Sagara it is a pleasure to meet you."

Sousuke extended his hand, "A pleasure to-" He too was soon hugged by Hermit.

"I must say that I admire your work, using low grade explosives to destroy one locker and clear up a whole room. My boy I have an invention for you!" He let go and dragged Sousuke to something he made.

"Wait Hermit we-" Michael sighed and threw his hands up in frustration and followed after them.

Hermit dragged Sousuke over to a table where he had three small circular objects the size of a CD but thicker.

He handed one to Sousuke, "Remote charges. Just push this detonator," He showed him a small detonator the size of a click pen, "And it can blast apart bullet proof glass and punch a hole in an armored carrier. Should be usefully against those robots."

Sousuke looked at the charge, "Simple, and easy to hide." He gently tested the weight,

"Light-weight and with C4."

Hermit shook his head, "C4 my boy is a thing of the past. That has a liquid explosive that is easier to put in something like that and the explosion spreads farther." He took the charge and showed him another one but this one had a little green in it, "A proximity charge. Just arm there," He pointed to the button, "And place and this charge has a radius of six feet. Just place and get out in three seconds or the radar will pick you up and you will end up like that." He pointed to the glass window.

Sousuke could not help but smile. This kind of technology was new and at the same time very versatile, "It uses the same explosive but," he paused for a second looking at the charge and comparing it to the remote charge. Hermit nodded hoping he was going where he thought Sousuke was going."This one is tougher than the remote charge." Sousuke pointed out.

Hermit pointed at him happily, "Exactly! The remote charge will go off if you shot it with a bullet but," He tapped on the proximity charge, "this little fire cracker will not explode."

"Causing them to come closer and the charge goes off." Sousuke said.

"My boy, you are sharp." Hermit exclaimed.

"Well, I see you like our toys." Michael said behind Sousuke.

Sousuke held both charges in his hand, "I must say Hermit, you have knack for surprise."

Hermit smiled and nodded, "Well, surprise is what wins the day my boy. Now if we can wait for the other two I can show you the rest of the equipment you will be using."

"Wait you started?" Michael asked a little annoyed.

"Why yes, should keep up Michael. Sousuke here is a quick study." Hermit smiled.

Sousuke gave Michael a sheepish look and put the charges back.

Hermit pulled out a sandwich and started to eat it, "So where are the two lovely ladies to help you out?"

"Right here!"

They turned and saw Mei Ling dragging a hung over Mao who was clutching her head.

Another explosion went off nearby and Mao cringed as the pain went through her head, "WOULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN! SOME OF US ARE HUNG OVER HERE!"

"Not the morning person is she?" Hermit asked the two brothers.

Sousuke shook his head, "Negative, the Lt. gets like this when she has too much fun as she calls it."

Michael crossed his arms, "Yea she is a real doll when she gets up."

Mao heard that, "I heard that."

Michael cleared his throat, "Lt. Mao this is Hermit, he is the head of our Research div-"

Before he could finish the sentence a blur went past them as Hermit hugged Mao. Making sure to rub against her chest, "Oh so soft Lt. I must say you take care of your body."

Mao in an instant pushed Hermit back and grabbed his throat trying to strangle him, "TRY THAT AGAIN AND IT WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU SEE!"

Hermit managed to spit out, "Worth it."

Mao dropped him, "Mei Ling, do you have that Aspirin? I really don't want to deal with two perverts this morning."

Sousuke looked at her, "Mei Ling?" He heard that name before.

Michael shook his head, "Sorry my fault. Sousuke this is Lt. Mei Ling and she is the head of Communications in FOXHOUND."

Mei Ling handed Mao the Aspirin which she took with a bottle of water she brought in. She turned to Sousuke and bowed slightly, "A pleasure to meet you Sgt."

Sousuke saluted Mei Ling, "A pleasure is mine Lt."

Mao drank more of her water, "Just call her Mei Ling Sousuke, it's too early to salute."

She walked past him shoving the bottle in his hand. She still looked hung over.

Michael ran his hands through his head wondering if they were even going to make it through the mission alive, "Can we just get this started Hermit?"

Hermit got to his feet and led the way.

Sousuke caught up with Mao, "Lt. you said that you had to deal with two perverts today."

Mao sighed and looked at Sousuke, "When Mei Ling came to get me to come down here. Kurz was still passed out. She had to step over him to get to me which was not a smart idea."

Michael tensed hearing that and Mao saw it.

She only smiled, "He woke up and said, 'It's a great view from here.'" She said in a mocking tone of Weber.

Mei Ling sighed in aggravation, "Such a pervert, I was happy I was wearing heels."

Sousuke and Michael winced knowing full well what those heels did.

Hermit just laughed, "I call that living life!" He said opening the doors.

"I call that being a pervert!" Mao and Mei Ling yelled at the same time.

Everyone looked at them surprised by the sudden rhythm the two were having.

Mao smiled and put her arm around Mei Ling, "I think you and I are going to like each other."

Mei Ling smiled, "You would like Meryl than."

Michael looked away sadly hearing that name.

Mei Ling saw her mistake and looked down.

"Who is Meryl?" Mao asked wanting to know what bummed the two out.

"Meryl is the niece of the Colonel." Michael started still walking, "She was as tough as nails and a good soldier at that. She was in charge of training new cadets and also an AS pilot. She was the best we had."

Sousuke looked at Michael, "What happened to her?"

Michael was hesitant to answer.

"MIA." Mei Ling said, "The last time we saw or heard from her, she was trying to get her hands of some better weapons to take out the Arastols. After that, we lost contact."

Michael looked at Mao, "We listed her as MIA since we know she would not be a traitor or be dead. She is too tough for that."

Mao looked at them, "Sounds like I would like her already."

"Well yea," Mei Ling said in a matter of fact tone, "She keeps this pervert in line." She pointed to Hermit.

Hermit only smiled and waved.

Mao put her hands on her hips as she walked, "What does he do?"

Michael laughed a little, "Usually we catch him trying to get a camera into the ladies showers. Meryl usually found it and would beat him up. However, this old man, is not what would you call old."

Hermit yelled, "I have the tenacity of a young man!"

"Young man or not, you appear to still be old." Sousuke pointed out.

Mao and Mei Ling laughed at that.

Hermit shushed them, "Okay, okay, all jokes aside let us get to work on the tools that you will be using." Hermit pointed them to a bar behind them.

He ran his hands across it, "This is a solid oak bar, with," He pointed behind it, "An ice tray, sink installed and cases to hold several different bottles of liquor and glass racks near the sink."

Sousuke and Mao looked at it, "Are we using this?" Mao pointed out skeptically.

"No your not using it," he said indicating Mao, then he pointed to Michael, "He will be using it, but this is no ordinary bar." Hermit went behind it and pushed a well concealed button and the front part was exposed showing several secret compartments complete with missiles, "These are short range missiles capable of destroying any wall along with those robots. Push again and missiles lock on and fire. I believe Q would appreciate it."

"Q?" Mao whispered to Sousuke.

"Q was a fictional character in the James Bond movies, he made all the equipment Bond used."

Mao smiled, "What else does it have?"

Hermit smiled and waved them over. He pushed another concealed button and the table split open and out popped up three HKMP5 rifles and two tactical shotguns with the handles sticking out, "Underneath them you will find two bags of ammo which would be enough to hold off a platoon. Grenades and the charges showed earlier will be there as well."

"What about security?" Sousuke asked, "How will-"

"It is already there. This is the prototype. We use bars like this in case something happens. The company that delivers them is on our payroll to get it in as well as the security company that checks them. Amalgam is not the only organization that has ties to people in helpful places."

Sousuke and Mao nodded in approval with this new setup.

"Your guns," he pointed to Michael and Sousuke, "and proper ammo are already there. Just push these buttons in an emergency. But remember only if something bad happens and you desperately need them."

"Which in their case it will." Mei Ling joked.

Sousuke looked at Mei Ling as Michael rolled his eyes, "It will not be as bad as Sudan."

Sousuke pointed at him and said, "Sudan was your fault."

Michael turned to face him, "No it was your fault, Mr. trigger happy."

"If I recall you 'accidentally' provoked that man when you stumbled into that dressing room for women." Sousuke said in a matter of fact tone.

Mei Ling's eyes twitched, "Female dressing room?" She took a step forward.

Michael laughed nervously, "Uh, it was a total accident I swear."

Mei Ling turned to Sousuke, "What happened next?"

Sousuke pondered for a second, "Well, the man caught us and Michael told him it was an accident and said," he paused for a second.

Michael turned to Hermit, "Should we continue the weapons?!" Hoping to change the subject.

"He said, it was a nice view." Sousuke finished.

Michael rubbed his eyes feeling the intent to kill start to overcome him. It did not help when Hermit put his arm around shoulder and said, "See your like me!"

Michael felt another arm around him, "And like me!"

Mao pointed at Weber who seemed to come out of nowhere, "Weber how did you get in?"

"I have my ways sis."

Michael ducked under their arms and said, "It was a mistake I was young and-"

He felt something grab his arm.

It was Mei Ling, "I'll let it go this time. However," Mei Ling looked at him with an innocent face that promised a lot of pain later, "If I hear something like that again, I'll show you what CQC can really do." She dragged his arm back to show the other equipment with Hermit behind them.

Mao pushed Sousuke to follow them, "I guess it gets as crazy here as it does at Mithril HQ."

Sousuke smiled, "Feels like home in a way."

Mao punched his arm and followed with Hermit and Weber trailing them.

Hermit stopped and everyone crowded around a table, "Now for the personal equipment." He showed them a radar device, "This a device that will keep track of all personal with nano machines." He pointed to Mao and Sousuke, "Before the mission starts we are going to give you a real CODEC that will allow you to communicate with each other. That way the transmissions can be used openly without worry of them being hacked."

Mao and Sousuke nodded.

"Now these things," He showed them two hair chopsticks and handed them to Mei Ling, "Wood and a design I think you will like. Just gently push the top and out come a sharp blade and now you have two throwing knives."

Mei Ling gasped when she saw them and deftly handled them.

Weber laughed at little, "Think you can throw them?"

Mei Ling threw the stick up and caught it with the blade in her hands. She threw it and it hit dead on in the arm of a dummy.

Mei Ling looked at Weber who whistled. Hermit handed a bracelet to Mao. He explained, "I'm sure a girl like you," Mao slapped him across the head, "Is use to this but this bracelet acts like C4. Just pin or wrap it around something and shoot. The explosives are similar to C4 and should be used for a quick escape. Other than that it is not that strong."

Mao smiled evilly and looked at Weber, "Can I get an extra one just in case?"

Weber smiled, "C'mon sis I think we are beyond the point of just giving gifts to each other."

Mao flipped him off.

Michael whispered to Sousuke, "And why has Mao not killed him?"

Sousuke shrugged his shoulders, "It is a great mystery around the base really."

"Now then," He clapped his hands getting everyone's attention, "What you all will be wearing." He threw Sousuke and Michael two outfits similar to what Sousuke had to wear at the start of the cruise liner mission. "They are your size and fit snuggly but the vest is made out of a special Kevlar material that we have been developing. It is not as strong as an actual Kevlar vest but it should provide protection against small arms fire."

Sousuke and Michael looked at them and nodded in approval.

Hermit than handed two dresses to Mao and Mei Ling. Each one looked like it would fit them. Mao's dress was similar to the one she wore in the Italian mission and Mei Ling's dress was of similar design but was a dark shade of blue.

"So these dress have the same design?" Mei Ling asked wondering if the dress really could stop small arms fire, and more importantly how she would look in it.

A flash went off with Weber holding a camera, "No we just wanted to see if you would do that."

Hermit laughed as he slapped Weber on the back, "Told you they would do that!" Hermit yelled in triumph.

Mao was fighting the urge to hurt him until a female personal approached Michael, "Sir there has been something I have been meaning to ask you?"

Weber smiled and pointed at himself, "If your wondering my name is Weber. Kurz Weber."

Michael rolled his eyes. She called him sir but he ignored it, "What is it 2nd Lt?"

She showed him a small spy camera.

Michael took it as everyone crowded around, "What is it?" Mao asked.

"That is our new spy camera that we have been using. Hide it anywhere and no one can find it. We are still working on it but it has had great success in the past." Mei Ling answered.

Michael looked at her, "Where did you find this? These are suppose to be under lock and key in the labs."

Mao turned and saw Hermit and Weber slowly walking away, "The ladies shower?" Mao asked knowing where this went.

The 2nd Lt. looked shocked, "Yes it was. Something got caught in the pipes and when we got it out we found this."

Everyone turned to Weber and Hermit who froze.

"Weber and Hermit," Michael handed the camera to Sousuke who looked at it, "would you two have something to admit?"

Hermit started to laugh nervously, "Well you see..."

Weber was stopped as another woman led Weber into a phone booth and slammed the door.

Weber banged on the glass, "Hey it was not me and-"

Mei Ling cut him off as she was handed a remote by someone, "This is what we do to perverts here." She pushed the button and behind him a huge balloon came out and filled up the phone booth quickly pressing Weber against the glass window.

Mao was already punching Hermit mercilessly as she kept yelling at him promising bad things if he did something like that again.

Sousuke and Michael both sighed.

"You know our organizations have one thing in common." He said as they both walked toward the exit.

"What is that?" Sousuke asked holding the door.

"The women manhandle perverts." They looked back as Weber was being carted away to be let out. He whimpered with his whole body obviously in pain. At the table Mei Ling restrained Mao as she almost killed Hermit.


Sousuke and Michael stood around the bar while the guests arrived.

After Sousuke was cleared to the mission they were well on their way to Paris France.

Two days ago the Tultha De Danaan departed Alaska to France using the poles as a short cut to the Atlantic Ocean.

It only took a few hours to get to their destination and they were briefed by the Colonel during that time.

"This mission is a pure observation and intelligence gathering mission. The tools given are to be used only in an emergency. Let us begin."

The party was being held in a huge conference room in a large corporate building ran by Armstech.

"We have a strong hunch that Mr. Gold will be attending along with several high ranking members of Amalgam," He turned to the four in the room, "at this party. Through the nanomachines in your bodies, we are able to see and hear everyone and everything that you see and hear. In short, we can identify quickly who they are and move on."

Tessa took over, "Major Kanzuki and Sgt. Sagara are responsible for the guests in the conference room. They have fake ID's courtesy of Otacon and other members of our hacking teams. They will be a bartender and a waiter. Those professions should allow them the best opportunity to ID and scout the area."

She turned to Mao and Mei Ling. She still had your doubts about Mei Ling but watching her in the training room one day showed that she could fight very well, "You two will try and lure one of the high ranking members we identify into your confidence. 'Persuade him' to give you his password and clearance. Once in the database we can get the info we want." Tessa stopped and Campbell took the floor.

"Amalgam is excited about something. They are building some kind of new weapon with rail guns and other components. It deals with black technology so we need to find out what it is and destroy it." Everyone nodded.

"Dismissed." Tessa said.

Campbell turned to Sousuke, "Sgt. we need you to stay for a moment."

Michael nodded and left with the other two.

Sousuke stood at full attention with the Colonel and Captain.

"Sgt. you know that Ms. Chidori and 'Mr. Silver' are going to be at this party."

Sousuke was at ease, "Yes sir."

Tessa took a deep breath, "Sousuke, this is a strict observation mission. Any contact with her or my brother is strictly forbidden. That is a direct order."

Sousuke took a deep breath.

Campbell studied the young man. He was rash, reckless and headstrong. He smiled just like he was, "We have reason to believe that her family and friends are being threatened. If she leaves, they could die."

Sousuke looked at them with a horrified expression, "Sir if they are being targeted then-"

Campbell silenced him with his hand and continued, "If we move, they know that we are alive. We have to wait for that perfect moment before we strike. Which I can assure you will not be during this mission. All our resources are going into Operation Zeus. We cannot afford to move until after this mission."

Sousuke put the pieces together, "So this mission is merely to gather information on the key figures in Amalgam in order to move operatives into position to assassinate the most effective targets?"

Tessa nodded, "Correct Sgt. I'm sorry but we need you to put your personal feelings aside for this mission."

Sousuke found this hard to take. He would be so close to getting her out, however he could not risk jeopardizing the mission. Their logic was perfect and the mission statements and objectives were clear. That did not make it any easier though.

Sousuke saluted and left without saying a word.

The two brothers wore disguises with a latex mask covering their heads. they was similar to the masks used in Hollywood, but it would allow them to breath and talk without much trouble. It was the same technology that Wraith had used when monitoring Kaname while in disguise.

The masks came with a voice device that changed their tones. This further guarded them from the unlikely chance that someone may recognize their voice.

Michael was behind the bar, "You ready?" He said with his voice slightly distorted in a way that made him sound a little older. His mask was modified to match his new mature voice, complete with a tan. Over all Sousuke thought he looked like French man with a tan.

Sousuke's face made him look Chinese with straight black hair. His voice made him sound older as well, "Affirmative."

The guest started to arrive.


Well,that is chapter 3. Not alot of action but more drama with Sousuke and Michael. For anyone who has played Metal Gear it is not just the action that makes it great it is the personal drama and tragedy that draw us to the characters and that is what I want to show. My biggest goal is to show two men who are just as human as everyone else. I have read stories where the OC is some kind of super power and perfect character. That is dry and boring. Michael was a real chance for me to try and show the human side of Sousuke that is shown in TSR through the bonds that they have as brothers. He knows Sousuke better than anyone else but the two are as different as night and day and I hope that you all enjoy reading that. A game for those who want to have some fun, there are two James Bond references and one of them is from a particular James Bond movie. Try and guess what they are and the movie. For the first person to send me a message about it, I will give you a small preview of the fifth chapter or answer one question about where this story is going. Enjoy and this story IS NOT DEAD!!