A/N: Sorry for the wait, i've been pretty busy so i haven't been able to update any of my storys till now.
Chapter 10
G.L.T.F.F.J.W.B.E. part 1 (Get Lily to fall for James without being expelled, Part 1)
"Why does Lily hate me?" James sobbed into his pillow. For the third time that week he had asked Lily Evens out and, for the third time that week, she had rejected him.
"It's just one of the mysteries of life" Sirius sighed, sitting beside James' outstretched legs "Like, why do I have to be so good looking… OW!"
Peter and Remus had thrown their pillows at Sirius' head, causing him to fall off the bed. Sirius grabbed the pillow for under James and whacked Peter in the back with it. After a few minutes of furious, dangerous and funny pillow fighting, with James sulking on the bed, the three friends collapsed in fits of laughter.
"Oh, come on James" grinned Remus "cheer up, she's only a girl"
"Humph!"
Sirius jumped to his feet and smacked James around the head with the pillow.
"To bad we can't have love potions at Hogwarts" He joked.
James bounded off the bed and sprinted thought the dormitory door before anyone could stop him.
"What happed?" Peter asked after a moment of shocked silence.
"I dunno" Remus shrugged, picking up him bag and throwing it over his shoulder. "But he'd better hurry up. We've got five minutes left of break and if he's late for potions again, Slughorn will be using him as a tester."
Sirius nodded "Did you here about that Slytherin sixth year who was late to his class everyday for two weeks?" The others shook their heads. Sirius put on a dramatic face "Apparently he had to test a potion made by the worst potion maker in the class. He now lives in the lake. He's the Giant Squid."
"James will have to test my potion then" Peter sighed, following Sirius and Remus thought the door "if it doesn't explode first"
80)
The bell had rung and Sirius, Remus and Peter were sat at the back of the potions classroom.
"Where's James?" Peter whispered.
"How are we supposed to know? We're not his brain! He doesn't have one!" Sirius hissed back "But you better make a decent potion today Pete."
Just then, the door burst open and James ambled in, tousle haired were he'd been running his hand thought his hair in frustration and carrying a large book that was to big to fit in his bag.
"Sorry I'm late, sir. I was studying in the Library and … I didn't here the bell go off" He mumbled, unwilling to admit to his teacher that he fell asleep reading.
Peter and Remus stared at him while Sirius pretended to vomit into his cauldron.
"Very well, Mr Potter." Slughorn boomed "I will not punish you this time seeing as you were doing school work"
He continued to explain the lesson, telling them what ingredients to get and boring Sirius. Sirius leaned across the table and whispered to James.
"What were you really doing?"
James smiled and removed his hand that was covering the title of his book. It read: 'The Art of Love Potions'
"James!" Remus hissed, noticing what was going on "You could be expelled if you even attempted one of those!"
James pressed his finger to his lips and nodded in the direction of Slughorn, who had just told the class to get their equipment. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter all went over to the store cupboard.
"I think I've forgotten something" James said as the other three were walking back to the table with their stuff "I'll catch up with you"
Once he was sure that no-one was looking, James took out a list from the inside pocket of his robes. He quickly got all he needed and an extra cauldron. He hurried back to the table, pockets bulging, and got to work on his two potions. Remus was first to realise what was going on.
"You can't do that" He muttered "You'll be kicked out."
"I won't if nobody tells on me!" James replied, aggravated because the large smoke cloud issuing from Peter's cauldron was obscuring his vision. "Could I borrow your silver knife Remus? I can't find mine"
Remus paled "I… I don't have a …silver knife"
"Okay. How about you Pete? …Peter?"
"Sorry James!" Peter choked, wafting the cloud that seemed to be getting bigger. "I can't see a thing!"
"Sirius" James asked desperately.
Sirius' hand appeared though the thick smoke that was turning the dungeon steadily darker than usual. He just handed James the knife when Slughorn's voice rang though the room, making them both jump. There was a tiny clatter as the knife landed somewhere under the desk.
"EVERYBODY OUT"
"Where's the knife?" asked James, scrabbling on the floor to find it. Remus, Peter and Sirius all went to help.
"There!" said Remus' voice over the sound of people trying to escape. He reached forward then screamed in pain.
"Remus?" said three voices.
"OUT!" bellowed Slughorn.
Abandoning his search, James got hastily to his feet. Blinded by the smoke, he lunged forward and stood in something extremely slimy. He felt his way out of the dungeon, slipping with every step, and collapsed against a wall in the crowded corridor. Slughorn slammed the door as soon as he was sure all of his students were out of the room and rested against it, panting.
"There…is no need…to ask whose cauldron…that came…from." he said, staring directly at Peter.
"Sorry Professor" Peter muttered, looking at his feet. He spotted something out of the corner of his eye. "What's that on your leg James?"
James looked down at his half made love potion that was soaking his right leg. He looked up guiltily and saw the perfect diversion. "What happened to you, Remus?
"I…I went…to pick up the…the knife and…and cut my self." He sobbed, cradling his blood soaked sleeve.
"What kind of knife was it Remus?" Slughorn asked sympathetically.
"Silver"
Slughorn gasped. "Miss Stevens and Miss Rodgers please escort Mr Lupin to the hospital wing immediately." his voice shook slightly, hoping Remus would be alright. "Mr Pettigrew, I would like to see you in my office. As for the rest of you, you are dismissed. Go on, get going!"
Hannah and Emma helped Remus while the Slytherins barged their way past James and Sirius.
"That's the second potions lesson ruined thanks to you and your blood traitor pals, Black" Snape said, kicking Sirius in the shin as he past.
After the Slytherins and remaining Gryffindor's had gone, Sirius hobbled over to James, who was brooding again.
"My potions wrecked! Lily's never going to like me now."
"Don't worry James" Sirius said, putting an arm around his friend's shoulders, comforting James' and supporting himself. "I'm sure you'll find a way"
James nodded sadly, got rid of the potion on his leg with a spell he had learnt from Remus and helped Sirius up to Gryffindor tower.
80)
Potion classes had been cancelled for the rest of the day, much to the delight of a bunch of fifth years who had a double potions lesson last. At lunch time, the occupants of the first year Gryffindor boy's dormitory (minus James, who was moping somewhere) could be found huddled in a corner of the common room. Sirius stood up in front of the other three boys.
"I have called you all here today because I am fed up of James continually sulking about Evens and I'm sure you are too! And I want to do something about it!"
"Same here" Travis said.
Sirius continued "I am going to call us the Get Lily To Fall For James Without Being Expelled Club or G.L.T.F.F.J.W.B.E for short."
"That's short!" Peter said "I'll never remember all that!"
Remus patted Peter in the back with his hand that wasn't bandaged up (Peter flinched, he still had his suspicions about Remus being a werewolf, especially as the knife was silver)
"can't we call ourselves something simple?" Remus asked "Like… Cupids Acquaintances?"
"Too girly"
"How about the Love Potion Substitutes?" Travis suggested.
"Err…no"
"JP 4 LE" said Peter
"Nah"
"How about…"
"It doesn't matter about the name!" Sirius interrupted "The point is: we need to get Lily to at lest like James. Without being expelled."
Everyone went quiet as they thought. It'll be almost impossible to get Lily to say something nice to James without the help of some sort of potion. Their thoughts were interrupted by a small cough.
"We hear what you were planning, and we want to help." Tasha said. Emma, Hannah and Sally all nodded in agreement.
"We think Lily's being a bit harsh on Po… I mean James" Emma piped up. "She's always moaning about how annoying he is."
Sally joined in "And I prefer Sirius' name for the club. If we abbreviate it then no-one will know what we're talking about."
"Wahoo! Take a seat ladies, just not the same one. The more the merrier I say" Sirius said cheerfully. "By the way, where is Lily?"
"Library" Hannah said simply.
Peter offered his chair to Tasha then moved to sit next to her on the floor. The others tried not to laugh when they saw this, at lest he wasn't being as stupid as James was.
"Okay! Has anyone got any ideas?" Sirius asked the seven first years in front of him.
"Well…" Emma said slowly. "It's Lily's birthday soon, October the Thirtieth."
"Same day as yours Sirius" Remus pointed out.
Sirius started bouncing up and down in his seat uncontrollably. He always went hyper when someone mentioned his birthday.
"Anyway, I thought we could get Lily a big present, something we know she would like, and say it's from James." Sally finished.
"That's a good idea" said Travis. "we could hold a sort of joint birthday party for Sirius and Lily. James could give her the present there"
"Yeah!" Everybody said in excitement.
"It's settled" Sirius said, slamming his hand on the table "OW!… anyway, Operation G.L.T.F.F.J.W.B.E. is go!"
80)
It was the morning of Sunday, October the thirtieth. James woke up early with Remus, Peter and Travis so they could decorate the dormitory before Sirius woke up. They hung a few streamers from the beds and set out some food the house elves had made them on a small table that James had 'borrowed' from a second year. James took something from his trunk and took it to the bathroom. He came out a minute later, grinning stupidly.
"Is that a water gun?" Travis, being the only muggle-born, asked.
"Sure is" James whispered, handing it to Peter and Remus to admire. "I got it from the muggle village near where I live. Me and my brother saw a bunch of muggle kids playing with them once. Their great!"
"What are you going to do with it?" Remus asked, hand the water gun carefully back to James.
"watch"
James pumped up the water gun until he could no longer pump it. He drew back a curtain on Sirius' bed so everyone could see the curled up, sleeping form of Sirius. James took aim and fired.
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Sirius yelled, as a jet of freezing water hit him directly in the face. The jet died down, leaving Sirius soaking wet. "JAMES!"
James, who had been trying so hard to keep a straight face, let out a loud snort of laughter, making the boys behind him laugh even harder.
"Happy birthday Sirius!" They shouted in unison, before piling onto Sirius' bed.
"Get. Off. Of. Me.!" spluttered Sirius. He shook his head violently so that little drops of water sprayed all five boys in the room.
James, Peter, Travis and Remus rolled off Sirius, clutching their sides. Sirius was about to hit James when he spotted the table of food.
"thanks guys" he said, forgetting all about the water gun and rushing forward to the table.
"no problem" James gasped, helping himself to a chocolate spread and pickle sandwich (a phase he's going through, I hope)
James, Sirius and Peter starting stuffing their faces with cakes, sandwiches and anything else they could lay their hands on ( including a piece of parchment that Peter didn't notice he picked up) while Travis and Remus ate politely. Suddenly, a large, handsome tawny owl flew thought the open window followed by a rather beaten looking barn owl. Sirius took one look at what was attached to the tawny owls led and choked.
"Open it" James urged, pushing Sirius forward to the red envelope on his bed.
"It'll be over in a minute" Peter added as it began to smoke.
"It'll be ten times worse if you don't" whispered Remus.
Sirius darted forward, slit open the envelope and promptly stuffed his fingers in his ears, followed by James, Peter and Remus. Travis watched them in confusion but soon copied them.
"HOW DARE YOU BE SORTED INTO GRYFFINDOR!" Sirius' mother voice rang though the silent room "I AM ASHAMED TO CALL YOU MY SON! IN A HOUSE WITH FILTHY MUDBLOODS AND BLOOD-TRAITORS!"
Sirius' father voice joined in "YOU HAVE DISGRACED THE BLACK FAMILY NAME! YOU HAVE LET REGULUS DOWN, YOU'VE LET YOUR MOTHER DOWN, YOU'VE LET YOURSELF DOWN AND WORST OF ALL, YOU'VE LET ME DOWN. YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND YOUR OWN WAY HOME FROM KINGS CROSS! WE DO NOT TOLERATE BLOOD-TRAITORS IN THIS HOUSE."
The Howler burned up and landed in a pile of ash beside the tawny owl.
"They took their time" Sirius said, sweeping the ash from his bed.
"But" Peter muttered "aren't you upset? It sounds like they hate you!"
Sirius carefully examined the parcel attached to the barn owl before answering Peter. "They've always hated me, just never said it in front of someone whose not in the family before. And Regulus doesn't care, as long as mum and dad love him more…"
He cautiously picked at the wrapping paper to reveal a red velvet box and a note. Sirius smiled as he read the parchment.
'Dear Sirius Happy 12th birthday! I can't believe my favourite nephew (don't tell Regulus) is nearly a teenager. It feels like just yesterday when you stripped naked on your third birthday and dived into that duck pond in the muggle park!
But enough of the girly stuff. My gift has been passed down thought the Black family for generations, eldest male to eldest male. I thinks time I passed it down to you.
From your favourite Uncle (Don't tell the others) Alphard.'
Sirius lifted the lid of the box to find a pure silver pocket watch with a Black family crest engraved on the back. Another note fell out of the box.
'This watch helped you great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather kill a werewolf that was terrorising his village. Use it well.' (A/N: Silver does kill werewolves, doesn't it? if not, then I've completely screwed up this chapter)
"Cool!" smiled Sirius, examining every inch of the watch.
James, Peter, Remus and Travis had been reading the note over Sirius' shoulder. They burst out laughing.
"Awww, little Sirius wet skinny dipping when he was three!" James snorted, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Back off!" Sirius said, going hyper again and shoving his watch under James' nose. "this watch is a werewolf slayer. Beware and don't get on the wrong side of me!"
Travis chuckled "If you haven't noticed Sirius, none of us here are werewolves."
Remus flinched. Unfortunately, Peter noticed.
"what's wrong, Remus?" He asked suspiciously.
"Don't like werewolves" Remus muttered, shaking his head and looking as if he was going to cry.
"Don't panic Remus!" Sirius shouted, trying to act like the muggle super heroes he'd heard about. "I'll save you with my amazing werewolf slaying watch!"
He ran around the room, pressing the cold metal against everyone's bare skin to test if they were werewolves. Remus jumped back in fright as Sirius approached.
"I…I'm also… allergic to… silver" He stammered, staring at the watch with pure terror in his eyes.
Sirius slipped the watch carefully into his pyjama pocket "You learn something new everyday"
80)
As it was a Sunday, there where no classes at Hogwarts. James, Remus, Travis and Peter were watching as Sirius opened his presents.
"Thanks James!" Sirius grinned, opening a brand new pack of Everlasting Exploding Snap Cards "No matter how many times they explode they will always come back" He read off the packet.
Sirius opened the rest of his presents: and extra large pack of Droobles Best Blowing Gum from Peter ("Now you don't have to keep asking if we have any" grinned James), a set of new quills and ink from Travis ("He'll manage to break all the quills and spill the all the ink by the end of next week" James said) and a big book entitled 'Joke Jinxes For Your Enemies' from Remus ("Finally, a book Sirius might read!" laughed James) The rest of the day past pretty quickly with Sirius practicing jinxes from his new book on innocent people in the common room until a fourth year boy had to go to the hospital wing with a pair of rabbit ears sticking out of his nose. By 7:00 pm, everyone in the common room was fed up with Sirius being hyper that they went to bed early, many complaining of headaches.
"So, what are we gonna do now that we've got the common room to ourselves?" Sirius asked, bounding up and bound on the sofa.
"Set up that party for you and Lily" Travis suggested.
James' ears burned. He looked up at them suspiciously.
"Lily? What's Lily got to do with Sirius' birthday?"
"Didn't we tell you?" Sirius asked impatiently "It's her birthday too!"
James grinned happily. Then the grin slipped from his face.
"I haven't got her a present!" He started pacing the room "What am I going to get her? Have I got enough time to get her a present? What if she doesn't like it?… I know!" He dived up the boy's staircase just as Lily's friends appeared at the bottom of the girls.
"Lily will be down in a minute, she's just finishing a letter to her parents" Tasha informed them. "and we've got the you-know-what… where is James?"
No-one had time to answer because they had just heard a door closing upstairs.
"Hide!" Hannah whispered.
Everyone scattered, diving behind chairs and under tables. Only Sirius was left standing alone in the middle of the room when Lily entered.
"Oh, it's you Sirius. What are you doing on you own?"
Sirius, who hadn't been listening, span around on the spot trying to find his friends.
"Why are boy's such idiot's?" Lily questioned to herself.
She was just about to walk away when she heard "SURPRISE!" and six people dived out of their hiding places into the middle of the room next to a startled Sirius.
"Happy birthday Lily!" The girls, Remus and Peter chorused.
"I thought I said no fuss!" She said, putting her hands on her hips.
"Your getting a party whether you like it or not!" Sally said cheerfully.
"And it's not just for you" Sirius reminded them, not wanting to be forgotten "It's my birthday too!"
Everyone ignored him.
"Here, we've got one last present for you" Hannah smiled, holding out a box.
Lily took the pink, glittery box from Hannah and read the label.
To Lily Happy Birthday Love from James She curiously lifted the lid, expecting something to fly out at her. Instead, she found a sparkling pearl necklace with a green heart hanging in the middle.
"Wow" She said softly.
Just then, James came charging down the stairs. He jumped the last couple, landed awkwardly and ended up in a big heap on the floor.
"Surprise" He said feebly, getting gingerly to his feet.
"Thank you James!" Lily almost cried. To everyone's surprise, she hugged him.
"What are you talking about?" James asked once he'd gotten over the shock. "I haven't even given you your present yet!
"What do you mean?" Lily asked, pulling away from him. "What's this then?" she held the pearls up to him.
"A necklace. Bit boring, I've got you something much more useful."
He held out a small package wrapped carelessly with used parchment and spellotape. She ripped it apart and out fell…
"A bar of soap!" Lily spat. She picked it up from the floor. "This is the soap we get here anyway!"
"I only just…"
"THANKS A LOT POTTER!" Lily roared, tears starting to form in her eyes "YOU'VE RUINED MY BIRTHDAY AND YOU THINK I SMELL!"
She threw the soap at James and stormed upstairs.
"What'd I do?" James asked, bewildered.
Thanks for reading, please R+R
GinnysbestM8
