Chapter 18
Journal Entry for Monday December 15, 1997
What should I listen to now? Either Sheryl Crow by Sheryl Crow (duh!) or Fairweather Johnson by Hootie and the Blowfish. That's a tough decision to have to make. Hmm. I think I'll listen to Sheryl Crow.
I don't know what's up with my nose now. It has bled 7 times in the past 4 days. And they're not just little nosebleeds that last for 5 or 10 minutes. These things will sit and gush sometimes for over an hour. I haven't gone to the emergency room with one though, because there's nothing much that they could do. (And I don't want it to get packed. No, I refuse to have it packed). I've tried everything from putting ice on my nose, pinching my nose, to trying to blow out the blood clot to get it to stop. None of those methods have worked yet.
This is going to sound odd, but I just now realized that Christmas is almost here. Of course, with everything going on that's been going on, I shouldn't be surprised that I forgot.
Usually at this time each year, the house is completely decorated, the roof is full of decorations for the lighting contest, and we have a tree over in the corner. Not this year though. We probably won't even really celebrate Christmas this year. Not that that bothe-
Here we go again! Another freaking nosebleed!
I'll write more later or tomorrow or something.
-Randy
Journal Entry for Tuesday, December 16, 1997
My nose bled for three hours yesterday. 3 freaking hours! So when mom got home from work (she's a manager at Wal-Mart now), I told her, and she called a local ear, nose and throat doctor.
The doctor said that my nose has huge blood vessels, and most of them are very far up in my nose. He ordered a CBC to make sure that I'm not losing too much blood during all of these nosebleeds. If the problem persists, he's going to "cauterize" my nose. That means I'll go under general anesthesia, and the doctor will go up my nose and burn away the blood vessels. All in all, it sounds like a very painful procedure.
I feel so sorry for mom. I mean, in the past three months, her life has just completely caved in on her. Her husband died, I've nearly died three times now, her oldest son is on drugs, and her youngest has become a gothic punk. No wonder she had heart attack.
I just wish so much that dad was here. He did get on my nerves sometimes, but that doesn't mean that I didn't love him. I still love him. I always will. If I had it to do over again, I would've talked to him, just talked, one last time that night. This entire experience has taught me, and everyone else in this family something: Never take anything for granted.
Lauren called me yesterday, and she wants me to come over and watch a Dave Matthews Band concert that one of her friends saw and taped. I said I would. I'm not sure if this means she wants us to get back together, or if it's just her being friendly. If she does want us to get back together, just say the word.
I'm going to have to get a new journal soon. This one only has about 5 pages left.
I still don't much care for writing in this goddamned thing, and don't know why I do sometimes. I mean, I could sort through my thoughts just as easily in my head. But I can hear my damn psychiatrist now: 'I can't read your thoughts if they're still in your head'. So then, don't read my frickin' thoughts. They're not really any of your damn business to begin with.
-Randy
Wilson Wilson's Thoughts That Evening:
How much time does the U.S. Attorney need to prosecute the case? It's been three months now.
I just wish that I could tell someone, anyone what Tim told me.
A/N: Is Wilson's POV really confusing? Good, it's supposed to be.
The surgery that Randy was talking about (the cauterization) is a real procedure. I've had it done before. Twice actually. But that isn't the surgery I mentioned a couple of chapters. That was a skin graft that I had to have for my nose. But I digress.
As always, please read and review if you want to read more of this story. (Because I could be mean and just write the rest of the story and read it myself, but not post it. But I don't suppose I have to worry about that, do I)?
Thanks for reading.
-Yours truly, Randy Taylor
