Chapter 19
A/N: I don't normally do something like this, but I just want to dedicate this chapter to one of my cats, who is currently sick. Get better soon Patch!
Journal Entry for Friday December 19, 1997
I'm ready to chop my goddamn nose off. No, I take that back. I'm ready to chop it off, rip it off, saw it off, or whatever the hell it will take to keep the SOB from bleeding. I'm just completely terrified of the thought of having to have that surgery done on it. It's not the anesthesia that scares me, it's just that I'm afraid of something happening while I'm on the table. I don't want it to start gushing blood or something. I know it's paranoid of me, but I do watch ER every Thursday night that it's on. (I watch it alone, because it absolutely disgusts mom, and Brad and Mark wouldn't know a good TV show if it came up and bit them on the butt). Mom has already threatened that if it bleeds one more time in the next couple of days, she'll take me back to the doctor and we'll set up an appointment to have it cauterized.
Right now everyone is sitting in the same room. I'm watching a re-run of a Dharma and Greg episode (while doing this of course), Brad is listening to some kind of rap CD, Mark is doing a book report, and mom is making out a schedule for her employees.
I have to admit, I'm surprised. Mom hasn't asked yet in all of these months to see anything in my journal. I always thought she was nosier than that.
I went over a couple of days ago to watch that concert with Lauren. It was absolutely amazing. Well, the concert was too. But just sitting in the same room with Lauren again was amazing. Then, the entire 6 or 7 minutes that the band played "Crash Into Me", me and Lauren just sat there and kissed. (Did I forget to mention no one else was around except us two?) Don't quote me on this, but I think we might be getting back together. It seems like everything in my life is starting to fall back into place now. Well, save the nosebleeds.
I am kind of frustrated, and honestly, a bit disturbed too. I woke up last night, and I'd pulled another chunk of hair out. It isn't huge, and isn't noticeable, but it still concerns me that I'm doing that. Don't tell me I'm starting to get…what do they call it? I think it's something like trichotillomania. But don't quote me on that either. In fact, don't freaking quote me at all.
I'm kind of excited now, because I hear Dave Matthews Band is going to be releasing a new album next spring. I'm such a huge fan of theirs. I especially like the songs Ants Marching and Two Step. Those two are just absolutely amazing to listen to. Especially when their played live.
We still haven't decorated anything for Christmas, which, as I said before, is quite alright by me. Christmas will only bring back painful memories of dad and of when we were all actually a family. And I don't think anybody here wants that. We have enough damn pain the way it is around here.
This may sound Grinch-esque of me, but I just wish we could skip over Christmas this year. Just go to bed on December 23, and wake up and have it be December 26. Just skip all the food, drinks, presents, carols, good cheer, and the whole damn nine yards.
I heard this old song on the radio the other day, and now it's stuck in my head. It's called Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin). Yeah, I know. I laugh every time I read the title too. Now that is a song I'd like to hear Dave Matthews Band cover.
This has to be a record for me the way I've been going recently. I haven't had a nosebleed since yesterday morning, and right now it's 11:03 at night.
Well, I think I'll just head to bed now. The Dharma and Greg episode is over now, and now it's a rerun of Friends that's airing. God I hate that show. It is so stupid. It a;most makes me sick to think I spent the past three minutes watching it.
-Randy
A/N: First off, yes, I hate the show Friends. I hope I haven't offended anyone with any of my remarks. If I have, I'm sorry.
Secondly, I'm aware that Grinch-esque isn't a word, but I'm going to use it in this story anyways. (I'd like to see somebody try to stop me from using it).
Anyways, it sounds like Randy is getting back to normal. It also sounds like he's going to have to have surgery on his nose. Poor kid, I know how he feels about the nosebleeds.
As always, please R&R, I love reviews like a kid loves candy and fresh snow. I love them enough to fill heaven, overflow, and fill hell. (Sorry, just had the urge to quote a Dave Matthews Band song there. The song is called "Oh" just for anyone who's wondering.
-Yours truly, Randy Taylor
