AN: Apologies for not updating as much as you'd all have liked. I'm going to try harder and hope, to get another out for you soon, though probably not for another week or two at the most. Anyway on with reading and Enjoy.
(btw Outfits on profile)
Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately
Last time.
"Come on, you're sleeping with me tonight" I said. He looked at me, asking with eyes if I was sure. I nodded.
He took my hand as I helped him up. I walked to the bed and pulled the duvet back, I motioned for him to get in to which he complied. I turned off the lamp before getting in next him.
He put one arm beneath my shoulder as I tucked in to his side laying my head on his shoulder, draping my other arm across his waist.
Then I slowly found myself drifting off in to a dreamless slumber but not before I felt him kiss my forehead.
Edward
I groaned lightly, throwing my arm over my head in hopes of blocking out the sun and it's offending rays. Not that it actually helped any, I was wide awake now.
I huffed and put my arm back down but I kept my eyes closed.
Last night did not go the way I hoped or thought it would. For one thing, I managed to get out how hurt and pissed I was but we didn't actually talk. Shout yes, allot of that happened but all in all, last night accomplished jack shit.
He knows how I felt but I doubt he can fully comprehend what I went through. It pissed me off to no end that he had the audacity to be pissed and claim how hurt he was as if I had betrayed him, pot fucking meet kettle. Although, we were both at fault, he was right, he deserved to know about his children regardless of the blond skank he calls his fiancé.
Which reminded me, bitch seriously needed another smack down for her little stunt yesterday. Hopefully before I pick the twins up, Rose would help me.
Sigh.
I shook my head, I was suddenly so very tired. It was too early in the morning to be thinking about all this. I checked the time, 7:30, yes way too early.
I turned to the side and started. The whole time I was thinking I failed to notice that Edward wasn't with me. I breathed in deeply trying to shake away that sinking feeling. But my heart started racing.
No, no, no not again.
That familiar ache of desertion and pain, made its way up my throat, threatening to suffocate me. I closed my eyes, it always happened when I would least expect it. For once I'd like to have a panic attack and be prepared.
It was irrational, though I loved him deeply-I still do-that I would feel like this. Surely it couldn't be the norm, nor could it be healthy. All the same, Renee use to say I had a big heart which meant I felt everything two times what a normal person would feel. But she was going through her hippie phase, I reduced to the fact that she may have been doped up on cannabis at the time and that she was all shit.
Memories of when he left flashed like a vintage movie reel in my head, once I found out I was going to be a single mother at the age of eighteen, and finally, when I found out he was engaged to someone that wasn't me after he promised.
The first time, the kids were only a year old and Alice had come over to Charlie's one morning. The moment I opened the door and saw tears streaming down her face, her head swinging back and forth, apologising. Saying she was sorry, that she was so sorry. I knew.
But I didn't say anything, I smiled and told her, I would be fine. But of course I wasn't. I bottled it all up. The pain, anger, hurt, betrayal, thinking I could deal with it. I would deal with it. For my babies.
So I suffered in silence as I tried to get by everyday. One day seeming just as hard as the next. Bottling up all my emotions, I was completely…blank. I lived for my children and nothing else. I didn't speak to anyone if I could help it, wouldn't go anywhere.
It wasn't until Alice thought it was time for an intervention, I completely flipped. Like a time bomb, it ticked away slowly, building up momentum until I cracked. I yelled, I lashed out, I screamed, I swore, then, I crumpled in pain, harsh sobs wracking my frame as I cried. Cried for me, my broken heart and for my children.
I sat up slowly, trying to shake away the images in my head, bringing my knees to my chest as I sobbed quietly, tears gradually streaming down my cheeks.
Teaches you for sharing a bed with your ex. Poor, poor Bella.
"Shut up" I whispered, rocking back and forth. My eyes scrunched tightly.
Shut up,
the voice whined. God you're pathetic.
"Stop" I whimpered, "Please"
Stop, please. Urgh, like I said. PA THE TIC. You should've known better, he doesn't love you anymore.
I could picture Tanya in my head, taunting me.
He loves me now. Get over it. He'll never love you again.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I screamed, yanking on my hair, crying earnestly.
"Bella!" I faintly heard Alice's voice before the door swung open, banging in to the wall. She gasped before quick footsteps skited across the floor. The bed bounced slightly before I felt small arms wrap around my waist, my head coming to rest on her shoulders.
"Bella, sweetheart, not again please not again" she whimpered, stroking my hair.
I only cried harder.
"Tell me Bella, please, talk to me" I shook my head, it's not that I didn't want to speak. I couldn't. The pain was too much.
"Yes, Bella, please. TALK TO ME!" she very nearly yelled. There was no anger in her voice however. Just pain.
But I wasn't in my right mind. So I reciprocated, by pushing her away.
"HE FUCKING LEFT ME AGAIN ALICE!" I exploded, "Was that what you wanted to hear?, he left me again and it hurts!" I wailed, Alice was crying silently, my pain was her pain apparently.
"Last night, I let him stay w-with me, which was f-fucking stupid on my p-part I know. I get that he's n-not mine any-more but the least he could d-do was wake m-me before he left" I tried to get between my sobs.
"FUCKING BASTARD!" I yelled, swinging my arm and knocking the lamp off the bedside table, shattering as it hit the wall. I felt as some of the shards lodged themselves in my feet. Alice had her head in her hands, her shoulders trembling.
"BELLA!" I heard as Rose's footsteps hit the landing before I saw her rush in to the room, eyes wide.
I slowly came to my knees, shaking my head.
"It's not fair" I whispered, before looking up at Rose. "It's not fair"
She watched silently as I rocked back and forward before warily, making her way towards me. She crouched down, mindful of the shards surrounding me. Hesitantly her hand reached out, stroking my hair away from my face before pulling me in to her arms. Like a mother comforting her child.
I sobbed lightly, feeling Alice wrap her arms around the both of us. I pulled her between me and in Rose in apology, I never meant to yell at her. Like I said, irrational.
Footsteps rushed towards the door,
"What on earth-" Esme gasped, we all looked up at her. Eyes swollen, faces red. She fluttered her hands around a bit before racing over towards us, pulling us in to her embrace.
Great, the only person I ever wanted to not know about my breakdowns. Besides Edward.
"What happened?" she asked Alice. I felt her shake her head, not knowing how to answer Esme's question.
I lent back a bit, trying to pull myself together for her sake. I gave her a timid smile.
"I just, freaked I guess, this is all hard for me and I-I... it's the only way I know how to deal with it, this...this pain, I guess. I'm sorry Esme, but I'm...okay" My voice breaking between words.
"Baby girl, you are not okay" she whispered. I laughed humorlessly.
"I am, as long as that is out of my system, for now I'll be okay." I nodded hoping to placate her. I would be fine, the worst of it was over.
"I'm sorry that I broke the lamp. I'll buy you a new one I promise" I said, regretting what I had done.
She waved away my apology, "It was Carlisle's mothers lamp. I never liked it anyway" she giggled.
Alice, Rose and I chuckled. I'd met Carlisle's mother Elizabeth when I was small, she was a frightening woman and always thought Esme was in the wrong and that she wasn't good enough for her son. Emmett, Alice and I had loads of fun playing pranks on her.
We sat there a little while longer, sniffling and giggling before we heard Carlisle calling out, wondering where his wife was. Esme rolled her eyes and smiled.
"You girls will be okay?" she asked, I nodded. "Okay, come down stairs when you girls are ready", she patted my cheek and made her way out the door.
I sighed, "Ali, I'm sorry for yelling at you, I-"
"No, it's not your fault Bella" she cut me off. "Please, don't feel guilty or anything. I hate seeing you hurt you know that"
I kissed her cheek and then Rosalie's before moving to pick up the broken lamp. They helped me collect all the pieces and transfer them to the bin, beneath my desk.
I stood up and almost fell back down again. I'd forgotten all about the ones in my feet, seems Rose and Alice did too.
"Go down stairs. Carlisle will fix your feet up and we'll finish up here" Rose said as she fluttered her hands towards the door.
I slowly made my way downstairs, whimpering every second step. Smashing that lamp was not a good idea considering my track record.
"Carlisle?"
As I called out for him I made my way in to the kitchen, before promptly turning back the other way, slapping my hands over my eyes which I had clenched shut . For Carlisle had, had Esme pressed up against the fridge. GAG, despite the fact Carlisle was seriously good looking, no one wants to see the people you've considered second parents for your entire life going at it.
Still, I giggled lightly as I heard them bustling around. A throat cleared behind me and I turned back around, both Esme and Carlisle looking slightly abashed and apologetic
"I, can come back...later if you'd like?" I smirked.
"What?, no, no of course not dear, we were just...finished" Carlisle explained awkwardly, playing around with his tie.
Oh Carlisle, you really made this too easy.
"Really?, so soon, must be old age", I sighed, biting my lip as Carlisle's head snapped up, his mouth opening and closing much like a fish out of water. It took all I had not to laugh at him.
"Just because you're too old to be bent over my knee young lady, does not mean I won't do it" Esme said sternly, her eyes however were telling a different story as she too, tried not to laugh at her husband's discomfort.
I smiled at her cheekily before lowering my head looking properly scolded.
"I'm sorry"
"Besides, Carlisle's stamina is quite perfect" Esme sniffed but with a wicked glint in her eye.
"ESME!" Carlisle exclaimed, looking incredulously at his wife, as if to say What the fuck gives woman?.
I, on the other hand was completely disgusted. Well not completely, I was slightly in awe too. I had no idea Carlisle had it in him.
"That's gross", I muttered, shaking my head as Esme grinned smugly at me.
Sometimes I forgot that Esme could dish it out, just as well as anyone else in this family could. Except maybe Emmett.
"Okay, okay, enough." Carlisle said before muttering something about the women in this family being crazy, "What was it you wanted Bella?".
"Oh, uh, I have bits of broken lamp in my feet" I whispered timidly, my face burning in embarrassment.
Carlisle immediately went to work, all traces of embarrassment gone from his features. Grabbing the first aid kit from above the fridge and a bowl out of the cupboard before passing it to Esme. She filled the bowl with water as Carlisle set all his materials up.
I limped over to the island, hopping up on to the bench with some difficulty. Standing still for a little over five minutes was a mistake.
Esme began prattling on about Alice's wedding, trying to distract me as Carlisle tended to my feet. I squirmed around when Carlisle applied disinfectant to my cuts, whimpering because it stung like a bitch. I had a low threshold for pain. Where disinfectant was concerned anyway.
He rubbed some cream on them, before wrapping them tightly and making me promise not to walk around too much.
"Okay, now that you're all bandaged up sweetheart, what would you like for breakfast?" Esme asked sweetly, brushing my hair behind my ears as Carlisle packed all his things away.
I was just about to answer before Emmett stomped in to the kitchen, yelling "Feed me mother!".
I laughed at him before Esme rolled her eyes, moving to slap him on the head.
"What was that for?" he whined, his lower lip jutting out in a heart breaking pout. He was getting pointers from Alice, I was sure of it.
Esme just shook her head, grabbing a few things out of the refrigerator.
"What happened to you, Jellybean?" Emmett said, coming over to lean against the counter.
"You know me Em, it's nothing much just a few scratches" I laughed as I bumped my shoulder against his.
"You sure?, you're eyes are looking a bit puffy there Bells. What's wrong? Was it Edward? Maybe Tanya? Fuck, I'm going to kick his ass for-"
"Emmett!" I yelled, cutting him off as I took a deep breath, "It's fine okay, if there was something wrong, you know I'd tell you" I said, smiling up at him.
He assessed me warily, before nodding jovially, seemingly accepting my explanation. He mussed my hair up before, bouncing over to Rose who had just walked through door with Alice and Jasper trailing after her.
I looked away as Emmett scooped Rose in to his arms, her laughter rang out as he planted kisses all over her cheeks.
Alice bounded over to where I was, hopping up onto the counter with me. She lifted my arm up and snuggled in to my side with her head on my shoulder. I laughed lightly and brushed my hand through her hair.
"Love you too Ali" I whispered as I pecked her on the forehead.
"We'll talk later yeah?" She asked quietly.
I nodded once.
Everyone milled around in the kitchen as Esme cooked breakfast for us. We joked around and talked about insignificant things. Emmett brought up the whole Tanya thing and before long everyone was in hysterics. Including Esme and Carlisle.
When breakfast was ready, we just grabbed some plates and ate in the kitchen. There wasn't any need to eat in the dining room as the twins weren't here but I could tell everyone missed them terribly but they knew that I was going to spend sometime with my dad today so they'd have to wait until later on tonight.
Once we'd all finished eating, the women made their way out to get ready for the day whilst the men had to do the dishes again. They whined and moaned some before Esme threatened to tan their hides. It was quite funny watching three grown men cower away from Esme, especially Carlisle who looked particularly flushed...Wait, flushed?...Oh god gross.
I hated that I'd always been perceptive because it was either a good thing, or in this case a really, really bad thing.
I high tailed it out of there as best I could with bandaged feet before my breakfast could make a second appearance.
Making my way upstairs I thought it be better that I bathe instead of showering. So after an hour of sitting in the water, I finally got out and dressed for the day. Light blue Denim Capri's, Smock off the shoulder top, a white scarf and silver and gold wire bangles. I actually dread what my father has the twins dressed up in.
I slowly made my way downstairs, pulling my hair up in to a messy bun with a few straggly bits, just as the front door opened. I froze mid-step as Edward walked in followed by a pissed off Tanya.
"Well, well, well, the wicked bitch of the west returns" I sang, glowering at Tanya.
Laughter rang out from both upstairs and downstairs. Emmett's booming laughter carried out above the rest of them. I forgot that because the foyer was so big, your voice echoed louder here than anywhere else in the house.
"Bella" Edward reprimanded, his brow furrowing as he shook his head at me.
"Don't Bella me, you self-righteous bastard," I sneered, but not before rolling my eyes at his attempt to scold.
"Wooooh, okay now," Emmett laughed awkwardly walking in to the foyer. "Bells? You okay?" he asked worriedly.
"I was," I smiled, "Until that scum walked through the door," I scoffed, looking pointedly at the skank.
Who at present was trying to intimidate me with a glare from behind Edward's back. Emmett coughed out a laugh, patting himself on the back.
"Bel-" Edward started, but I cut him off abruptly, not wanting to hear his shit.
"Shut the fuck up," I growled, glaring at him, "I was just leaving anyway" I said as I bent over to slip my black converse on, not bothering to tie them too tightly.
I walked in to the kitchen to grab the keys and kissing Esme, Carlisle and Rose on the cheeks on my way out. Rose quickly pulled me in to a hug, whispering how proud she was of me. Esme hugged me too, making sure that I was going to come back later. Of course I was.
Emmett swept me in to a bear hug as I walked past and when he put me down, I dodged Edward's out stretched hand.
Alice and Jasper were both waiting at the door to give me a hug. As I hugged Alice she told me she'd text me later in the day, then literally pushed me out the door.
I looked at her quizzically.
"The sooner you leave, the sooner you'll be back" she sang, beaming in a way that only she could. Jasper shook his head, laughing at his fiances antics.
On the way to Charlie's I picked up two hot chocolates for my babies and a coffee for dad and myself. I wasn't a fan of the whole decaf, cream, no foam etc thing. To me coffee was just that, coffee. What's the point in buying one if you're going to add extra things to it.
When I arrived, someone else's car was already sitting in the drive. Must be Billy Black, dad's best friend since...ever I think.
I got out of the van and walked up to the door. Just as I was about to knock, it swung open.
"Bells, what are you doing here?" Charlie's wavered slightly, his face bright red. What on earth's going on.
"Uh, coming to spend the day with my father and my children like you said we would?" I spoke slowly, completely confused by his behaviour.
"Oh, oh right, right. Yes, I did say that" he muttered to himself, flattening down his flannel shirt. I looked at him like he was crazy.
"Are you going to invite me in?" I huffed, throwing my hand up in frustration.
"Of course, come in" he gestured, I gave him one last look of bewilderment before I walked inside.
"MOMMY!" was all I heard before two small bodies crashed in to my own. I steadied myself and passed the coffee and hot chocolate to my weird behaving father.
"Hello, my sweets" I cooed, bending down and sweeping them in to my arms.
They both giggled, kissing my cheeks as many times as they both could. I held them to me tightly as I spun around in circles, their laughs turning in to high pitched squeals. I could hear dad chuckling quietly behind me. Which reminded me.
I lowered them to the ground, still holding them in my arms and perused their attire. Which didn't look too bad I must say.
Delilah was wearing her little purple frock, with violet canvas slip ons and a purple bow headband. Cameron on the other hand was wearing a brown sweatshirt donning a cowboy boot and 'HOWDY' in big letter's on the front, he was also wearing jean shorts and brown sneakers.
"You actually dressed them properly this time daddy" I teased, smirking up at my dad.
He coughed once, "Uh yeah, guess I did" he said, scratching the back of his neck. A sure sign that he was either lying or hiding something from me.
"Momma?" I turned to Cameron, removing all traces of confusion and replacing them with a smile.
"Yes sweetheart?" I asked tickling his tummy. He giggled, tracing my smile with his fingers.
"Poppa didn't dress us silly, Sue did" he beamed at me. I heard dad's sharp intake of air behind me as Delilah nodded in confirmation.
Sue? Who the heck was Sue?
"Sue huh? and who would that be?" I looked at Charlie, who in turn looked else where. His face was almost a harlot red. I turned back to the twins.
"That, would be me," my head snapped up as a woman answered.
She had to be at least in her early forties. Sue, was quite beautiful, exotic almost. She had to be from the reservation though, I don't ever remember meeting her when I visited. She had straight jet black hair that fell mid waist and her eyes were a shocking green. She beamed at me from the archway leading in to the kitchen.
"It's lovely to meet you Bella, your father has told me so much about you" she gushed, meshing her hands together.
I was at a complete loss. So in short form, I didn't say anything and made an excellent gaping fish impression.
"Momma, that's poppa's girlfriend" Delilah giggled, trying to push my chin up.
I gasped, "Gi-girl-girlfriend?", I wasn't sure I was getting enough air, "Oh ah...", I laughed albeit shakily before turning to address Sue, "I apologise, uh...Ch-dad never mentioned he had a, a girlfriend?"
I turned to my father, wide eyed and bewildered.
"You, dad, you and I are going to have a very long talk," I wasn't asking. He nodded quickly.
"Momma?" Cameron asked, patting me on the cheek. I kissed his forehead before standing up and walking over to Sue.
"It's lovely to meet you" I smiled, holding my hand out to her.
She shocked the hell out of me and I'm pretty sure my father as well, when she pulled me in to a fierce hug, almost resembling one of Emmett's.
"I can't tell you how pleased I am you're not yelling at me" she giggled slightly but the relief was evident.
I brought my arms up and around her torso, returning her hug. She reminded me of Esme.
"It's fine Sue, you're not the one I'm...displeased with" I said as she released me from her embrace. I smiled at her once before turning to my father.
"Again, a very long talk" I said sternly, as if I was the parent and he was the child. Cameron and Delilah giggled at their Pop being scolded by their Momma.
"Now, that the cat's out of the bag, what are we going to do today?" I questioned, leaning down to pick the twins back up, kissing them both on their heads.
"Well, the boys are having a barbecue down the reservation so..." Dad trailed off.
"Yeah, dad, that sounds fine. I take it you will be joining us Sue?" I asked, turning to her.
"Yes, I only came to pick up your father," she smiled coming to stand beside Charlie.
His arm came up around her shoulder instantly as he beamed down at her. Oh, that was so cute, and kind of weird. Him being my father and all. Though I'm just happy that he wasn't alone, whilst the kids and I were in England.
"Okay, so lets get going" I said, the twins shouted in glee as Sue and dad just smiled happily.
La push here we come.
AN: So the end of another chapter.
Let's review:
Bella has a breakdown, Edward is an asswipe, Carlisle has good stamina, Tanya returns and Charlie has a girlfriend.
Everyone has something to say, so please press that blue button and let me know what you loved, liked or even disliked. Anyone that hated you really shouldn't be reading this story, unless it's Tanya then by all means ;) go for it.
Until next time, xMMSx xo
