**Chapter 6: Information is Key**

First off, I have to just thank MissMeep for her incredible help! I am sooo sorry that I took so long to update (relatively… I know others take longer sometimes), however, life has been pretty stressful and hectic, so please bear with me! Lil Hidan- humor for those who might want to kill me… *so please don't!* Suggestions, crits, and compliments mucho welcome… hehe (^_^)/ *cough cough* Could not resist that. Sorry for making Yachiru seem Mary-Suish in previous chapters… I will try my best to rectify that! Shout out to MissMeep and Psuedobeast for the reviews… tanki tanki! You make my dark days brighter… with that said... let's get to it dattebayo~!

-Prologue-

Flashback is written in italics.

'Thoughts in italics and enclosed in quotes'

Normal writing is in normal text.

"Dialogue is in normal text enclosed in open and closed quotations."

'Black Zetsu and Kyuubi speak in bold italics enclosed in quotations.'

Bold text shows time frames and places.

Previously on Left to the Elements:

"Oh, you're all already here," she said, stepping into the room.

"Get to it then, Sakura," Tsunade said to her apprentice, her tone softening. Sakura stepped further into the room and her expression got more serious.

"Well, when I did the preliminary, I couldn't find anything wrong with the body, but upon doing the autopsy in the lab, I found something interesting." She paused, and the occupants of the room leaned forward in interest. "I can't say definitively whether or not Miramori-san's death was self-inflicted, or murder, but I did find the cause of death." She paused again, looking again at her findings for confirmation.

"Well?" Tsunade demanded. Sakura looked up sharply, her hair swinging in a swift flash of pink as she made eye contact with Tsunade.

"Miramori Oora was drowned, Tsunade-same," Sakura said. There was a collective gasp from the other four occupants of the room. Drowned?

oooOooo

The viridity of the foliage whipping past Sukimori Atsuro was of no consequence to him, other than the fact that he was drawing closer to Konohagakure. The reminder of the importance of his message spurred him on, temporarily pushing the pain in his legs, the shortness of his breath and the exhausted state of his chakra out of his mind. The message he was sending was also the kind he couldn't afford to send by messenger hawk for fear of interception. Even though it was more risky to try to deliver the news to Hokage-sama in person, because he could be killed on the journey and she would receive no word, interception of his messenger hawk would mean she could get misleading information that could put Konoha in a really tight spot. After all, this was the Akatsuki they were dealing with. Sending controlled bursts of his remaining chakra to his feet, Atsuro quickened his pace, never feeling his job as a Konoha scout more intensely than at this present moment. This time, for the first time in years, he actually had pertinent information. Atsuro allowed his mind to drift back to three days prior to the present moment.

Atsuro sat atop the roof of the Kizudetsu motel, his chakra cloaked, relishing the fact that the heavy brown Kizudetsu dust did not reach as high as the rooftop, making it easier for him to breathe and keep watch over the town simultaneously. Atsuro liked to stay in town for at least a week so he could pick up certain details that he would not be able to pick up in a day or two. He had been in Kizudetsu for two days already, and found that simply watching the activity on the streets below made him irritated and tired. The dust was an issue, and the smell of the town, which was lovely on the first day, got old fast. Atsuro absently stroked the shaft of his kunai as he watched the activity below him, a hot breeze sending his dark red hair fluttering in the wind. The shoulder-length strands blocked his vision for a short moment then dropped back to his broad shoulders when the breeze passed. Atsuro's sharp eyes narrowed as he tried to come to terms with what his hair had just been hiding from him.

Below, in the streets, three cloaked travelers were stalking through the crowds, cutting through the pressing force of hundreds of moving humans like a knife cut through moistened butter. However, the ease with which the trio was moving through the crowds was not what caught Atsuro's attention. Au contraire, it was their clothing that stood out. High-necked, mid-calf length black cloaks with red cloud patterns decorating them adorned the bodies of the trio. Atsuro swallowed convulsively. Akatsuki.

Atsuro watched as the one in the lead, who he recognized as Uchiha Itachi, turned to the two following and spoke to them. The other male, a tall blue-skinned man, was immediately recognized by Atsuro, who had seen him in the bingo books, as Hoshigaki Kisame. The other member of the trio, a white haired female, was not someone Atsuro remembered. Still, she wore an Akatsuki cloak. As far as Atsuro knew, the Akatsuki only had male members, so this one was either well hidden or a new member. From his perch on the rooftop, Atsuro watched Hoshigaki Kisame and the white haired female purchase pocky from a stall after Uchiha Itachi walked off into the crowd.

Atsuro watched as Kisame and the white haired female talked and laughed, but apparently they weren't up to anything suspect at the moment. Atsuro decided to focus on Itachi. However, when he turned to look in the direction the Uchiha had gone in, he was nowhere to be found. Kisame and the white haired female were ambling casually through the throngs of people on the streets, so Atsuro decided to try to find Itachi. He hopped down in an alley and slipped through the crowds, peering in buildings and peeping through windows, and even though he could sense his chakra, the Uchiha himself had disappeared. Atsuro searched for what felt like half hour, but the Uchiha was nowhere to be seen, and, unfortunately, Kisame and the female had disappeared as well. Atsuro decided not to let this drop. He had to find out what they were up to.

Atsuro slipped from the alleyways into the street, and weaved through the crowd until he could exit the Kizudetsu gates. The hunter-nin in him ached to deal with the nuke-nins that were hiding in Kizudetsu, but he was not employed to Konoha as a hunter-nin at the moment, and he would need a proper team to eradicate them. Their number and skill made it unwise to try to challenge them, especially in such a densely populated area. Atsuro dashed into the trees between Kizudetsu and Shinringakure, and dropped to his knees. A rapid sequence of hand-seals preceded his closing his eyes and focusing his chakra. His body tensed slightly when he felt the chakra of Itachi and Kisame several meters ahead. Atsuro began to follow. "How is it that I can't feel the woman's chakra?" Atsuro muttered to himself.

As they drew closer to Shinringakure, Atsuro realized his attire would quickly expose him. He waited until the Akatsuki trio disappeared inside a bed and breakfast, and then slipped into a bar on the other side of the street. He bought a drink, keeping close tabs on Itachi and Kisame's chakra, and then edged to the restrooms where he executed a henge jutsu and cloaked his chakra further. Stepping out of the restroom, Atsuro looked like a wiry old civilian clothed in the plain clothes of the lower class, with stringy graying hair. He purchased a flask of sake and hung around the bar until he felt Kisame's chakra moving along with that of Itachi. Atsuro kept to himself, watching with the heavy-lidded eyes of a drunkard as the trio exited the bed and breakfast and moved on further down the street. Atsuro kept them in sight, but waited until it would be unsuspicious of him to stumble drunkenly in their direction. In a flash of movement so fast Atsuro could barely see it, the Akatsuki trio disappeared from the streets. Atsuro began to wonder how it came to be that the Akatsuki could walk so plainly through Shinringakure, whether or not they had their streamer-adorned rice hats on. He understood how they could do so in Kizudetsu, for the small town was riddled with nuke-nin and criminals. But Shinrinakure, although small, was a hidden ninja village, after all! Atsuro felt their chakra signals lower until he could feel them no longer. Still, there were only so many places for them to hide in Shinringakure, and Atsuro would find them. His hunter-nin instincts kicked in, and he began to search around the village. He found them in the forest that the Shinrin Casino was nestled against.

"Huh? Why are Kisame and Itachi just hanging around in the trees? What are they up to?" Atsuro mumbled to himself as he watched the two Akatsuki members. They were kneeling in the branches of the trees, staring at the back of that casino. Atsuro cut a wide circle around them and went further into the darkness of the forest. His eyes narrowed as he perused the seemingly unmoving Akatsuki duo.

He felt the arrival of two new sources of chakra and barely heard the sound of a kunai whistling as it hurtled through the air. Jerking back at the last second, Atsuro's eyes widened then narrowed as the kunai sliced through a lock of his henge's grey hair, pinning it to the trunk of the tree he was perched in. He had been spotted! He watched the grey hair slowly turn to dark red as the henge upon it wore off.

Turning, he saw two figures that were somewhat concealed by the trees further back in the forest. Spinning shuriken and kunai hurtled through the air towards him, the afternoon sunlight casting pinkish-orange glints on the metal. Atsuro wanted to stay and watch the Akatsuki, but he had to fight for his life.

He deactivated his henge and silently reached into his thigh straps for some kunai knives. Not wanting Itachi and Kisame to sense his chakra, Atsuro took off further into the trees, his sharp eyes seeing that the ninja who attacked him were following.

Atsuro felt the pain in his leg intensify with each step on the tree limbs as he ran to Konoha. He glanced down and cringed at the sight of the blood seeping through the bandages on his thigh and calves. He should really stop and rest, but time was of the essence. Atsuro didn't quite know why, but he had a gut feeling, and he had long since learned to always follow his gut. His mind took him back to how he had gotten those injuries in the first place.

Atsuro deflected the kunai flying towards his face with his own kunai and gritted his teeth. These shinobi were powerful… at least jounin level! Atsuro also knew that he couldn't afford to go all out, because the Akatsuki were bound to know that someone was on their trail if they felt his chakra too much. He tried to lead the attacking shinobi further and further away from Itachi and Kisame but they seemed to have realized his intentions because they kept trying to hedge him in. Atsuro barely had time to construct a substitution jutsu before a barrage of kunai and shuriken splintered the log he had replaced himself with. His hands rapidly flying through the seals, Atsuro created several clones of himself and sent them running towards the shinobi.

Konoha

"What do you mean 'drowned', Sakura?" Tsunade questioned her student with one eyebrow raised. She leaned forward on her desk, staring at Sakura expectantly. The pink haired kunoichi consulted her clipboard.

"Well, when I opened him up, I couldn't find anything wrong with his organs. However, when I opened up his lungs, there was a significant amount of fluid there. I ran tests on it, and it turned out to be regular water, like that which we would drink at a meal. How it got into his lungs, I have no idea." The pinkette paused and looked up at her shishou. As she finished speaking, Shikamaru picked up the stack of photographs that were on Tsunade's desk. His eyes narrowed as he looked them over.

"Well, that has merit, Sakura. There is a glass jug of water here on the food trolley, and a cup, but the cup was unused." Tsunade growled at his statement. She had never seen Shikamaru this frustrated before. The way his left eye twitched showed that even he didn't see himself figuring out how it was done. The fact that there was no residual chakra in the room apart from that of the victim in any time frame meant…

"Ah…" Shikamaru said. "I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but maybe some sort of time-influenced jutsu could have been used…" his voice trailed off as he crossed the idea out in his head. "No, I don't think that's it." He sighed and scratched his head. His eyes flitted over the pictures again, going more slowly over some pictures rather than others. He looked up to Tsunade. "Tsunade-sama, I need to think this over some more." Tsunade gritted her teeth and nodded. Obviously feeling out of their leagues and just as frustrated as Tsunade and Shikamaru, Kakashi and Shino stayed quiet.

"Fine. You are dismissed. If you think of anything at all, come visit me." The Godaime leaned down and reached for the flask of sake in her drawer. She needed a drink.

Konoha Forest

Atsuro cursed inwardly as his vision dimmed. Not now. This was a bad time for his body to start reacting to the pain. His fight with the two shinobi in Shinringakure had been long and straining, testing the levels of his stamina. The fight had taken several hours, and by the time he had defeated them, the two Akatsuki had been gone. Chakra low and energy depleted, Atsuro had pressed forward still, catching their trail in the Land of Waves. He had been gaining on them, his chakra very slowly regenerating, when he was attacked again. This made the fact that the Akatsuki were hiding yet another secret glaringly obvious. When the three chuunin level shinobi had leapt from the trees with weapons drawn, Atsuro had no choice but to use his chakra reserves to teleport himself to where he had placed his wards in the forests of Konoha. Then he had begun to run. He still had several miles to go, and his vision was blurred, his legs were becoming numb, and he could feel the lactic acid buildup in his muscles from running for so long without pause. However, Atsuro knew himself well enough to know that if he stopped for a short rest now, he probably would reach to Konoha far too late to help.

He reached into the pouch at his waist, feeling for a soldier pill, and cursed audibly when his finger passed through a hole at the bottom of the empty pouch. 'Damn it. They must have fallen out during the fight,' Atsuro thought, feeling the pressure of anxiousness build up in the pit of his stomach. He frowned, feeling the dry blood tracks on his forehead crack under the shift of his skin. He had to get to Konoha. He had to! Atsuro did not know why, but he felt in the very depths of his being that that sighting of the Akatsuki in Shinringakure was in lieu of something big; something serious. He gritted his teeth together, half against the pain, and half in determination. He would get to Konoha. As he drew closer to his hometown, he released the chakra from his feet, knowing that it would make the journey slower, but would lessen the chance of his dying before he could get to the Hokage Tower. In any case, the use of chakra was painful at the moment.

Atsuro knew that that was most likely because of the jutsu one of the shinobi that attacked him used. It had caused pain in parts of his body that Atsuro had forgotten he had, and the type of pain extremely intense every time he used chakra. Taking a deep breath that hurt the cracked ribs in his chest, Atsuro pushed forward again. He almost didn't feel the three sources of chakra behind him. They were following him! 'Shit,' Atsuro thought, fighting the despair that threatened to choke him. 'Shit, shit, shit!'

Akatsuki Hideout

Itachi frowned as the masked shinobi in front confirmed what he had suspected during their time in Shinringakure. They had been spotted!

"Akatsuki-sama," the shinobi said reverently, "We have apprehended the spy, but he escaped."

"Hn. Find him, and kill him. He is not to get to whoever he is reporting to," the Uchiha replied before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

oooOooo

Yachiru clasped Tobi's arm in warning. The orange-masked Akatsuki was literally trembling with puppy-like excitement. How someone like him could be in a group like the Akatsuki baffled Yachiru.

"Tobi, keep quiet," Yachiru whispered sharply to him. They were hiding in the trees outside the Akatsuki hideout, covered by Tobi's genjutsu, and awaiting the arrival of Hidan and Kakuzu. The money-loving bastard would lose some of his precious ryou today if Tobi could just keep still! Regardless of the fact that Kakuzu was sexy as hell under his garb, he annoyed Yachiru tremendously. Why did he have to have that grumpy, impatient attitude all the time? The only thing he had in common with his partner was that they were both immortal. Yachiru grinned remembering the first time she had met the duo and Kakuzu had beheaded Hidan. Truth be told, Yachiru had no idea why, but she was insanely attracted to the foul mouthed Akatsuki. It was not dimmed at all by her thoughts of Itachi either. After the Miramori incident, Yachiru thought of Itachi differently. What would possess someone of Itachi's temperament to think of something so… Yachiru blushed. Tobi jostled her arm as he wriggled again. "Tobi, if you keep quiet, I will make your favorite food for you," Yachiru said in a patronizing tone. She realized her mistake in treating the masked Akatsuki like a child and turned to apologize. She didn't have to.

"Tobi is sorry," the masked man replied in a loud whisper. "Tobi will be quiet so Yachiru can make Tobi's favorite food," he continued. He stayed quiet… for two minutes. Then he shifted. Then he wriggled. Yachiru rolled her eyes. A presence alerted her. Kakuzu. Yachiru looked down at the forest from her place in the trees. Sure enough, Kakuzu and Hidan were walking in the direction of the hideout.

"… baka! Why'd you reject that offer, Kakuzu? They cut your strings or something, you damn miser," Hidan was grousing.

"I don't remember who you are talking about. Regardless, you rushed in like I warned you not to and got yourself sliced down the middle…" Kakuzu returned shortly, his brow furrowed.

"Shut up, miser," Hidan yelled. "You should see the other guy," he said grinning. He realized Kakuzu was trying to change the conversation, and frowned again. "Dammit, Kakuzu, you could have sewn me up faster than you did, and I would have gotten three prime sacrifices for Jashin!"

"You and your stupid God," Kakuzu spat. "I wonder if he has a bounty on his head…" he mused, counting a stack of bills in his hand. Hidan stiffened to the point where he stopped moving, so insulted was he.

"Kakuzu! You miscreant! I hope all your strings dry rot!"

"Then I wouldn't have to sew you back up every time you run ahead and get sliced to pieces," Kakuzu returned, a glint in his unusual eyes.

Up above in the trees, Yachiru turned to Tobi, who was trembling again while giggling softly.

"On three, okay Tobi? I will jump down while you…" Yachiru did not get to finish, for Tobi removed the genjutsu far too early. Kakuzu and Hidan halted their bickering and looked up in the trees. Kakuzu growled when he saw her. He hated that she had no bounty, and that Pein would probably kick his butt if he killed her. Yachiru rolled her eyes, feeling the annoyance towards Tobi that had been building up overflow.

"Damn it Tobi! You… you… UH!" Yachiru jumped down from the tree and stormed back into the hideout. Tobi followed behind her.

"Yachiru-san… Tobi is sorry! Tobi didn't mean to fail the plan to steal Kakuzu-san's money!" He called, running to catch up with the white haired young woman. Yachiru rolled her eyes as soon as he made his statement and slapped her hand to her forehead.

"What?" Kakuzu fairly roared, which coaxed a frightened yelp from Tobi who ran and hid behind Yachiru. Kakuzu stormed up to Yachiru, towering over her. Behind him, Hidan was laughing outright.

"What?" Yachiru said obstinately to Kakuzu, squaring off with him. The top of her head was somewhere at the centre of his chest. One of his hands shot forward to grab her by the throat, but she had expected that, and a column of earth shot up between them, knocking his hand off its path to her throat. Yachiru had to crane her neck to look into Kakuzu's furious green eyes.

"You don't come between me and my money. If you steal from me, I will kill you." Yachiru rolled her eyes at him.

"And then what will Pein-sama do to you?" Yachiru taunted. "I bet he knows how to kill you. You would think a man with so many hearts would be easier to love." Yachiru jabbed a finger in his chest. "One of these days, your money will fail you, and I hope I am there to see!" She turned to Hidan. "Hidan, when he dies, I have dibs on half of his money!" Hidan whooped at her statement and slapped Kakuzu on the back.

"Kaku-chan, you won't mind, will you? If we take all your money when you someday die?" He laughed again, bending over and slapping his knee.

"You won't live that long, little girl. I'll bet someone has a bounty on your head, and even if it's Konoha, I will collect that bounty," the large man said in a low, furious tone, before stalking off into the hideout. Hidan struggled to catch his breath again then smiled at Yachiru.

"A glutton for punishment, hmm? I like that, very much." Yachiru rolled her eyes and turned to walk back inside. "What? You aren't gonna welcome me back, Yachi-chan?" the silver haired Akatsuki asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Yachiru grinned, then squelched it before she turned to face Hidan.

"Why would I do that, baka Hidan," she sneered, glaring at him. She stalked over to him and punched him in the gut.

"Fuck, woman," Hidan wheezed. "You got a fist on you!" His tone was strangled from pure pleasure. "When are you gonna train with me, Yachi-chan?" he asked, his tone still a bit strained.

"Is never soon enough?" Yachiru snapped, even though she was enjoying their squabbles quite a lot. She just hoped Hidan would not get tired of being slammed in the face. "You only want to train with me for some perverted masochistic reason, old man," Yachiru said, rolling her eyes. Hidan shivered a little.

"What other reason would there be?" Hidan asked suggestively, grinning perversely and wiggling his silver brows. "…and I am not old," he continued. Yachiru had to struggle to hold back her grin. She grabbed his head, yanked it down to chest level and ground her knuckles in his head.

Hidan blinked. This was a new feeling. His face was pressed into her chest, which was ample, but by no means too large. The softness against his face and the delightful pain in his head from the ongoing nuugie was … he sighed in pure pleasure.

"Yachi-chan… are you trying to turn me on?" the Jashinist moaned loud enough for Yachiru to hear. If he had a choice he would bury his face in her chest and have her stab him repeatedly in the back with a kunai or something… or maybe scratch his back until it bled. The image was one that he would ponder some other time. Yachiru pushed him from her so he fell backwards onto the ground and then slammed her foot in his stomach. Her eyes were glinting dangerously.

"So what if I am?" she snapped, allowing just enough killing intent to turn Hidan on to emanate from her body. For the first in a long time, Hidan was completely speechless, finding absolutely no inappropriate comebacks to even sift through, much less say. His brain was completely blank. He blinked twice. Damn this bitch, but she was good. She raised one eyebrow.

"Kakuzu got your tongue, Hidan?" she sneered, smirking before she turned and stalked off.

"Fuck it, but she's hot," Hidan mumbled to himself. He would get that, if Jashin-sama permitted it. Jashin was crazy about rules, damn him. Hidan caught himself damning his god and shivered. He was gonna regret that.

Yachiru tried to outrun Tobi, but he was having none of it. The orange masked man was following her, begging her for her forgiveness.

"Tobi is so sorry! Tobi promises! Please forgive Tobi!" he was saying. His high voice bounced off the walls in the corridors of the Akatsuki hideout, and Yachiru swore that if she heard him refer to himself in the third person again, she would kill something. She ground to a halt.

"Fine!" she yelled. "I forgive you, so now leave me alone!" She continued walking, taking Tobi's silence as acceptance of her non-existent forgiveness. She was wrong. Tobi had snuck up on her.

"Tobi will make it up to Yachiru-san. Tobi has a good plan that will make Yachiru-san forgive Tobi for real and smile again like she did before… Tobi has a better plan than stealing from Kakuzu-san directly." Yachiru turned, eyes hooded and a baleful look in her eyes.

"Tobi," she spat. She was about to continue when Tobi flung his arms around her shoulders and whispered in her ear. Her eyes widened. The sneaky bastard! This was his plan all along? Yachiru suddenly had no trouble at all figuring out why he was even in the Akatsuki. The man was as conniving and manipulative as a snake. It did not help that she absolutely loved his plan. He had obviously been watching her very closely, and Yachiru was suddenly unsure of how to think about that.

oooOooo

Hidan pressed his back against the wall and craned his neck to peer in Kakuzu's room. He had heard someone in the shower that he thought was Kakuzu, but he had to make sure. It struck him as ironic that he was sneaking around the Akatsuki hideout with cloaked chakra, but then, this was a command from Jashin. He could not fail Jashin; not again. Kakuzu had already cheated him out three fucking sacrifices, and Jashin took no excuses. Hidan did not need his jutsus to start fucking up now. Not now that things were escalating. This demand of Jashin's was important too; important enough that his god had visually appeared to him!

Hidan cracked open one eyelid, feeling the cold chill in his normally warm, dry room. He was in the middle of a ritual unto Jashin, regrettably yet another one asking for forgiveness. He lifted his head to look towards a slight sound, like wind whistling between tight spaces and it was then that he saw it. A hazy, bluish-white apparition was hovering over the centre of the Jashinist symbol with a misty shroud over its head and long, flowing robes. The symbol of Jashin hung about its neck.

"Hidan," the apparition said simply, pronouncing his name dramatically, like 'He-Dahn', in a deep, double-toned voice. Hidan blinked. This could not be! Jashin-sama? Appearing visually to him? Hidan felt his stomach clench anxiously. This was either really good or really bad. Shit."Are you awake, Hidan?" the apparition continued in Hidan's silence. Hidan gulped before answering.

"Hai." The apparition shifted again.

"My subject, there have been few sacrifices to me recently. I am beginning to doubt your allegiance. I am quite sure you don't want to be at the end of my wrath for I can assure you, it will not be enjoyable." Hidan gulped at the tone of the conversation. Damn Kakuzu! The money grubbing bastard would be the death of him!

"Jashin-sama, I can explain. My bitch of a partner, Kakuzu, refused to allow me to go after some prime sacrifices! Did you not receive my ritual begging forgiveness?"

"I care nothing for your paltry requests for my forgiveness and even less for your excuses, Hidan!" the spirit of Jashin shot back in a hard tone. Hidan blinked, and backed up against the wall next to the symbol on the floor of his room. He cringed at the words that came next. "I have reason to take your immortality from you!"

"Please, Jashin-sama. One more chance. I will do anything," Hidan cried out, prostrating himself before the spirit of Jashin. The apparition moved back then forward again, the coldness emanating from it making Hidan shiver.

"You did preach quite well to the other beings earlier tonight…Alright. There are a few things you can do to prove your loyalty. These things will not be easy for one such as you, but trivial to other people," the spirit of Jashin said, after a pause, causing Hidan to swallow his spittle anxiously.

"Anything, Jashin-sama. Please, leave my immortality!" Hidan said. He almost regretted his proclamation when he heard the things that were expected of him.

Hidan took a deep breath, willing the memory away so he could concentrate. The first task was to take the equivalent of the money he would have gotten had Kakuzu not denied him of the mission that would have granted him three prime sacrifices to Jashin. That, unfortunately equaled up to a little less than half million ryou; a figure that one such as Kakuzu would never miss in the daily tally of his money. Hidan was to hide this money and was given the words to say should Kakuzu find out who the culprit was. Peering into the room one last time, Hidan cleared it as Kakuzu-free and slid inside, making a beeline for the money pouch that was not yet recounted by Kakuzu. Kakuzu liked to check and double-check his bounty cash-ins. He would count it in front of the contact, then twice more at the hideout, and then he would add it to the Akatsuki's already expansive coffers, and count everything once more. On the days they did no missions, he would still count the total money they had at least twice.

Kakuzu's room was dark, with only one lamp on the table next to the bed. There was a hammock hanging in the crook between two walls and his bed was to the side of the hammock. A chest of drawers and a closet lined off on the opposite wall. The room smelled like money, and sweat and… well, Kakuzu. Hidan tiptoed across the room, feeling extremely stupid and stared at the bag for a good ten seconds before he had the courage to reach for it.

'Damn it! If fucking Kakuzu catches me with my hand in his pouch… shit that sounds gay… with my fingers on his coins… fuck, what's wrong with me?... whatever! If he catches me, I might actually kick the bucket! Knowing that damn stitched up old freak would probably refuse to do the sewing the next time heads roll and he might really leave me to fucking die of starvation… because I don't think my immortality thingamajig covers that…' Hidan thought, grimacing in distaste at the image the thought had brought to mind.

Hidan quickly took the bag from its place on the bed and slid his hand inside, feeling both bills and coins. The bag smelled of sweat and cord and blood. He took enough of the coins and the bills to add up to the total he had intended to take, placed a considerably lighter bag back on the bed, then slipped back out of the room, positioning the door just as he had found it. He had made his exodus from the room not a moment too soon, for he passed a dripping Kakuzu in the hall. His partner, his stitched up chest and face bare, glared at him in annoyance. Hidan felt as if Kakuzu knew that he had the money on him for his partner gave a cursory sniff at him before walking into his room.

Hidan moved to his room as quickly as he could, and hid the money under all his Jashinist symbols, chains, and ritualism apparatus. The next thing on the list was… shit… he had to do laundry.

oooOooo

The last time Hidan had done laundry was… had he ever done laundry? Hidan hung his head, raked his fingers through his silver hair and let loose a string of curses.

Yachiru smiled, smothering a giggle behind her hand.

"Shhh," Kisame chided. "You'll ruin the plan."

"Yeah," Tobi chimed in with a harsh whisper. "If you laugh, you will ruin the plan, Yachiru-san." The irony of his statement almost made Yachiru choke. The three of them were watching Hidan from a spot in the trees. The foul-mouthed Akatsuki was dutifully attempting to wash the laundry of all the Akatsuki members. Since it was usually Tobi's job, Hidan had to take up all the laundry before Tobi's usual time and rush to the river that ran close to the Akatsuki hideout. Yachiru, Kisame and Tobi watched as Hidan dumped half the box of powdered soap into the tub of washing, which was by far too much soap, and plunged his hands among the clothes, soap and water.

"Now, Yachiru," Tobi whispered. Yachiru grinned, using her hands to waterbend the water in the tub in a circular motion, which caused the soap to froth up. From their spot in the trees, they could hear Hidan's yelp of surprise when the soap suds frothed over the sides of the tub and covered him in the flowery scent of the soap. Pretty soon, Hidan was hidden to the shoulders in white froth, and the suds were all over his face and in his hair, which was sticking up in all directions. Kisame, Yachiru and Tobi were trembling with pent up laughter as they watched from the trees. Hidan, obviously feeling that he had satisfactorily scrubbed the clothes lifted the tub so he could carry it to the river, which was a few feet behind him. However, he obviously underestimated the weight of the tub, the lack of feeling in his feet, and the length of cloth that was trailing from the side of the tub, which was partially hidden by a white mountain of suds. His foot trembled and got caught in the cloth the very same time that his hand slipped and he went tumbling forward the same time the tub fell backward. Hidan gave a yelp, which was supposed to be a curse, but his mouth was filled with soapy water and someone's socks and the sound came out as more of a loud gurgle than anything else.

Yachiru stuffed her face into Kisame's shoulder to muffle the burst of sound that came from her throat. When Hidan's face emerged from the soap and clothes, a sock was in his mouth, his hair was pasted to his head with a mound of soap suds on the top of his head and in his ears, and he was soaking wet from head to toe. He spat the sock on the ground, jumped to his feet, pointed a dramatic finger at it and began to curse.

"You damn nasty fucking lump of useless thread! If you weren't so useless I would sacrifice you to Jashin! Teme! I should just-…" He stomped his foot on the sock, his arms rigid and sticking out behind him. "Yeah, you deserved that, ya fuckin' sock!" Yachiru was whimpering with the need to laugh, while Kisame's shoulders shook in silent laughter. Hidan leaned down, grabbed the sock and threw it into the river, where the current promptly carried the sock downriver. Hidan gave a start then cursed. "Fuck! Dammit! Who told you to-…? Fuuuckk!" Hidan yelled, running towards the river, his drenched Akatsuki cloak sticking to his legs and hindering his movements. He fell face-first into the river and began struggling to get downstream to catch up with the sock which was clinging desperately to a rock. Hidan swiped the sock off the rock and glared at it.

"Who do you even belong to, you dumb foot fuck?" Hidan groused looking at the sock which had a very neat U.I stitched into the sole. "Uchiha?" Hidan screamed in annoyance. "Ugh! Trust you to belong to the red-eyed freak! Teme!" he yelled, while slapping the sock repeatedly on the rock. At this point, Yachiru, Tobi and Kisame had to stop looking at Hidan for fear of ruining the plan. There was still so much to do!

oooOooo

Atsuro felt his heart-rate increase. Damn it! He hadn't enough chakra reserves to take on three more shinobi. He hadn't the stamina either. There was only one thing left to do, and there was no guarantee that it would work, but he had to try. Dodging behind a tree, he slapped his hands together in a series of seals.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu," he muttered softly as he focused on splitting his chakra directly in three, sending one third of his remaining chakra to each of his two clones. Both clones cloaked their chakra, nodding as he silently commanded them to avoid being hit, but rather keep the attackers from moving forward. One stayed at the current spot to slow down the attackers, and the other accompanied him as he continued running. He ran for about half an hour when there was a rush of information to his head. His clone had been destroyed. It had lasted longer than he had thought! He left his second clone in his wake with the same instructions and pressed on to Konoha. He was close; within the one mile range and he was also close; close to his limit. Already his steps were faltering and his vision was at an all time low. 'I have to do this. I have to do this. I have to do this,' Atsuro chanted in his head, trying to gather enough determination to actually get to Konoha and report what he had seen. He felt a rush of information flood his senses the very moment the Konohagakure walls came into view. He was close! He could do this! Even though his last clone had not lasted long, and he was only roughly five minutes ahead of his pursuers, if he could get to the gates he would be a bit safer. Feeling just enough determination to keep going course through him, Atsuro forced the last bits of chakra into his legs and pushed forward. His lungs were burning, his throat was raw, and his wounds were causing him so much pain his thought processes were dulled.

As he neared the gates, he felt the presence of his pursuers get closer and closer. They had such high chakra levels, Atsuro knew that he was history if they caught him. He was only three minutes ahead. The gates, blurred to the point where Atsuro was unsure of whether or not they were as close as they looked, loomed before him. The pursuing shinobi were only two minutes behind.

Atsuro's steps faltered as his vision went completely black for just a moment.

When his vision cleared enough to see again, the gates seemed only a few meters closer, while the pursuing shinobi were only a minute behind him.

He was slowing down, or they were speeding up, or both.

He was about ten feet from the gate when a kunai, which Atsuro sensed but did not have the strength or energy to avoid, connected sharply with his back.

A cry burst from his lips at the pain, but he pushed on.

Two more kunai hit him, one in the shoulder, and the other in his lower back.

Atsuro did not stop running.

He passed the gates, not even hearing the shouts of the gatekeepers. Now, if he could just get to the Hokage Tower. It loomed ahead of him from its place at the end of the main street of Konoha. At least he was a little bit safer and could focus on simply running, on simply keeping alive! 'I am almost there! I can't give up now!' Atsuro thought. Every single chakra pathway in his body was alive with pain. Atsuro put one foot in front of the other, conscious that he was digging deep into his chakra reserves for the energy to at least move forward. It was dangerous, but it had to be done. He was glad he only had to run straight.

People in the streets were looking at him with questions in their faces, but they stepped out of his way, and he didn't notice them. Instead, he focused on the Hokage Tower. His vision went out completely again, but Atsuro did not hit the ground. He stumbled, but he did not hit the ground. When light broke through the darkness again, he was still putting one foot in front of the other, and the Hokage Tower was that much closer.

Some kami-sent person at the front door of the Hokage Tower opened the door for him before he got there so he did not have to stop. Atsuro ran, almost hitting aides with stacks of paper in their hands out of his way.

Tsunade looked up from the paperwork on her desk, which she had been trying to concentrate on seeing, when the door to her office burst open. She was about to get angry at the lack of a knock or introduction, when a badly battered shinobi with a chakra level so low it made her heart race in concern fairly tumbled into the office.

"Atsuro?" she said in recognition of the red haired scout.

"Hokage-sama… Akatsuki… in Shinringakure… Uchiha and Hoshigaki… at casino," his voice faltered and even as his eyes were rolling back in his head and his knees buckled under his weight, he continued to try to speak. "There was also… a… another…" There was nothing else but a strangled gasp as the red haired shinobi crumpled to the floor. Tsunade had been stunned into stiffness, but as soon as the shinobi fell to the ground, she leapt into action. Her eyes scanning over his form, Tsunade saw that he was badly battered. There were kunai knives sticking out of his back and his uniform was a tattered, bloody mess, His hair was stiff with dried blood in places, and the color and markings of his skin told her immediately that his chakra pathways must have been damaged.

"Shizune!" Tsunade roared. As soon as she heard her assistant's shoes clattering along the hall, she yelled. "Get Sakura and a medic team here NOW!" Shizune's footsteps stopped, and then restarted as she ran in the opposite direction.

oooOooo

Yachiru, Kisame, Kakuzu, Tobi and Itachi sat at the table, patiently waiting Hidan's and dinner's arrival. Yachiru, Kisame and Tobi were absolutely struggling to contain their humor, while Kakuzu was grousing and getting angrier and angrier by the second. Itachi had his usual apathetic look on his face even though a glint in his eyes alerted Yachiru to the fact that he knew something was up. Yachiru toyed with the ladle that was rested on the table. When Hidan entered the dining area with a huge pot of viscous, black goo, Yachiru burst out laughing.

"Stew, you little fuckers!" Hidan called.

"What the fuck, Hidan?" Kisame groaned while raising an eyebrow and widening one circular eye. "If I knew you were going to make that, I would have made my fish stew so we could at least eat tonight!" Hidan glared.

"Shut up, blue face! Jashin-sama told me to cook tonight, you fishy fuck!" Hidan yelled, letting go one of the humongous pot's handles to point his middle finger at Kisame, only to jerk it back to grab the handle of the pot, which had begun to lean dangerously to one side, threatening to spill its bubbling contents to the floor. "Besides, this fucking goo might taste good. You're lucky if I give you any!" he continued, glaring at Kisame before slamming the pot on the centre of the table. "Dish up, faggots," he declared, placing a hand on each hip. Tobi gave the goo a curious look.

"Tobi thinks Hidan-san should chose who should take the first bite," he said, giving Itachi as pointed a look as he could from behind his orange mask. All eyes followed Tobi's and landed directly on Itachi's apathetic but clearly discomfited face. Hidan grinned sadistically, his memories of the sock so vivid Yachiru swore she saw a white sock float through his glittering purple eyes.

"Uchiha Itachi! You dumb red-eyed fuck, you take the first serving!" he declared loudly, snatching the ladle from Yachiru's hands and plunging it half shaft deep into the goo, causing some to splash out the sides… or it would have splashed had it been even a bit less dense. That did not faze Hidan, since he was glaring at Itachi, but the Uchiha's eyes widened almost imperceptibly.

"I think not, Hidan," Itachi said in his usual monotone. A vein popped in Hidan's forehead.

"Your eyes should have been yellow instead of red you annoying maggot!" Hidan roared. "Yellow, because you're a little pussy underneath your fucking Sharingan. Scared of a little black goopy fucking shit, are you?" he taunted. Itachi's eyes narrowed and he paused long enough for Hidan to slap a ladle-full of the black goo into his bowl… or he would have slapped it into the bowl had it not stuck to the ladle. As it turned out, those seated around the table followed the agonizingly slow passage of the black, opaque goo as it descended from the ladle to settle soundlessly in Itachi's bowl. "Heh, this is fucking hardy stuff, eh!" he declared in a tone that sounded suspiciously proud.

Itachi poked the black goo, which was moving all on its own, with his spoon and drew back in disgust. The others seated around the table, yes, even Kakuzu, leaned forward in morbid curiosity.

"Hn," Itachi said, trying to scoop some of the goo into his spoon with his usual calm, but quickly realized that it would take a more aggressive approach.

"Hmmm, Tobi wonders if Itachi-san will die if he eats that…" Tobi mused out loud. Kisame snickered and Itachi glared at them. He took a tentative first bite of the gooey 'stew' then clasped his ringed hand to his throat. The others watched in fascination as Itachi's face turned green, then grey, then red. He shot to his feet and wheezed, trying to take a breath when his throat had obviously closed up.

"E-eto… 'tachi-san… just… ehm… walk it off, alright?" Kisame said in a strangled tone. Itachi nodded mutely, then stumbled out of the room in the direction of the kitchen. Hidan stared at his handiwork proudly. However, when he turned around, the seats around the table were empty. They had all left. Yes, even Kakuzu. Hidan imagined a cold wind blowing through the now empty dining area, and shivered a bit.

"Damn pussies," he groused, dipping a finger into his black gooey 'stew' and taking a taste. He clasped a hand to his throat as his esophagus closed up from the sheer nastiness of the taste of the concoction he made. It tasted so bad Hidan was sure his knees had gotten weaker, and he too stumbled towards the kitchen where he could hopefully get a drink of water. 'Fuck,' he thought.

No one saw Tobi duck back into the the dining area and take up the large pot of 'stew'…

oooOooo

Sakura knew her chakra was low, but she had to repair as much of Atsuro's wounds as she could so he wouldn't bleed to death while she and Tsunade worked on trying to repair his extremely damaged chakra pathways. It was remarkable that he had lasted as long as he did in his condition. Sakura knew that from the level of damage to the chakra pathways at his neck and in his head, he must have been running while unconscious for some of the time, and that level of determination was rivaled only by that of Uzumaki Naruto. Atsuro had fallen into a coma soon after his collapse and Sakura knew that even though it was his body's protective instinct to incapacitate him so that he would have time to heal, his injuries were extensive enough that he might never awaken. Her own chakra was dangerously low when the door to his ward opened and Tsunade entered the room. The Godaime Hokage frowned when she felt how low Sakura's chakra was, and pulled her back. The green, humming chakra faded from Sakura's hands.

"Sakura, you cannot be this careless! It's bad enough that he has more information that he did not get to tell us, but I can't have you incapacitated as well!" Sakura hung her head at her shishou's chiding, but her eyes glinted with green fire.

"I had to try, shishou. It could help our case! He said the Akatsuki was there, didn't he?"

"Yes, he did. Itachi and Kisame were at the site. That does not match with our findings, but he had seen this, and look what he went through to get that information to us. I have to take his word for it," Tsunade said, looking over the mutilated figure of the naked man on the operating table.

"Shishou, we need to do all we can now. His chakra pathways…"

"…will only heal by themselves. We can't attempt to heal them, because they might come out deformed. They have to heal naturally, in the way that his individual pathway formation is," Tsunade interrupted. "Tell you what," she said when she saw the frustrated look on her student's face. "I will continue to heal him while you rest, alright Sakura?" she continued. Sakura gave a short nod and slipped from the room, her exhaustion showing in her shoulders as she exited.

Tsunade turned to the injured man and a green glow rushed to her hands. They were humming softly as the pressed them to Atsuro's abdomen.

Tsunade had left the room for a pick-me-up when the window to the ward slid open and four shinobi silently crept through the opening and stood over the comatose scout with weapons drawn. The leader of the group stopped the one who had been about to give the fatal slash across the throat and pointed instead to the cables and IV drips that were connected to the redheaded male on the table. Removing the life support tubes and cables would ensure the death of the scout without the gore and conspicuousness of spilled blood, and would stop the scout from waking up sooner or later and spilling information that the Akatsuki clearly wanted kept secret. The leader grabbed the cables, and pulled.

A/N:- Yosh! It is finished! Another cliff-hanger, I know, but… So! In other, less life-threatening conversation (don't kill me), did you like the bits of humor in this chapter? I am especially asking you Hidan lovers. I hope you did, because there is more to come! I wanted to put more in this chapter, but my plot would not allow it, so they shall come in the subsequent chapters, four of which are already plotted! As usual, please review! I am DYING to know what you thought of this story! Reviews make me type faster!