Chapter Twenty: Recovery

Vincent remained completely still as he slowly came back to consciousness. He kept his eyes closed, using his other senses to determine where he was before moving. He'd grown used to awakening in odd and sometimes dangerous locations following battles with Chaos, and he now assumed he might be in such a place before letting on to anyone or thing nearby that he was awake.

It was quiet, and the surface beneath his body was soft and warm. He lay flat on his back with his right arm stretched out at his side, his claw resting heavily on his chest. There was a pillow beneath his head, and a thick comforter covered him to his waist. There was no breeze or sunlight on his skin, and his heightened sense of smell informed him that he was inside a familiar place. He was home.

Vincent sighed with relief as he slowly sat up in bed, his memory finally awakening along with the rest of him. He had transformed again, then made his way home. He had no idea how much time had passed since Lucrecia helped him to bed, glancing up at the small window just below the ceiling and finding that the sun was setting. Lucrecia was no longer beside him, but he sensed that she was close by.

He ran his hand back through his wild hair, reaching out to take his bandana from the nightstand. He tied it on and took a moment to stretch his arms over his head, loudly cracking his neck and wincing at how sore he remained. So many transformations close together were taking a painful toll on his body as well as his mind, and he frowned with disgust at himself. There was simply no reason it should still be happening… Lucrecia had told him she understood, and that she would never leave. Things between them were better than ever. What more could he ask for? Why did he continue to worry that she'd run should she ever witness what he truly was? It felt as if the more he fought to keep from losing her, the closer he came to making it so.

He pushed back the blanket and carefully climbed out of bed, still a bit disoriented and light headed. Once he was satisfied that he was steady on his feet, he opened the drawer of the nightstand and retrieved his PHS. When he checked his messages, he was surprised to find one from Sephiroth, replying to something he had sent earlier… only he had no memory of doing so. After scrolling through the conversation's history, he realized that Lucrecia had contacted their son upon his return home, asking him to cover for him while he was asleep. He stared at the message for long moments, embarrassed but also touched that she had done so. She'd thought of everything.

He quickly messaged their son again, letting him know he was awake and able to handle security matters once more. He also made a mental note to locate a PHS for Lucrecia as soon as possible. He'd been meaning to do so, so she would have a way to contact him when he was at work, and to communicate with Sephiroth and Aeris when she wished. It was also unwise to leave her home alone with no way to call for help should she need it, and he cursed himself for the oversight. There had just been so much on his mind…

He slipped the device into his pocket, leaving it set to vibrate. With his powerful senses, the sound from that setting was louder than a ring tone to someone normal. He glanced at the bedroom door, left open a crack with a small beam of light trailing through. Vincent stood in place as if paralyzed, scolding himself for feeling so uneasy. He didn't understand why Lucrecia had been so kind to him when he finally dragged himself home, nursing after him and making him feel wanted and loved. He'd expected her to be cold at best, furious and ready to leave him at worst. She had surprised him yet again, and he somehow knew she'd spent many hours at his side while he rested. But why? He'd let her down again, and he hadn't deserved her in the first place.

He exhaled sharply to push away his doubts, briefly closing his eyes before summoning his courage and opening the door. He immediately located Lucrecia across the long, narrow main room of their basement apartment. She was seated on the couch with her legs tucked beneath her, balancing a laptop computer across her thighs. He stood in the doorway and watched as his expression relaxed into a fond smile, waiting for her to notice him. She was peering at the screen as if very interested in something, however, completely lost in concentration.

"Entertaining yourself, I see." He cringed when she jumped and nearly dropped the device, her head jerking in his direction as she gasped in surprise. "Sorry… I did not mean to startle you."

"It's all right," she said with a nervous laugh, setting the laptop on the coffee table and adjusting her glasses. "You're just so quiet! And I didn't realize you were awake. How are you feeling?"

"Sore… but all right," he replied, feeling awkward as he approached her. He pointed toward the laptop, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Where did you get that?"

"Oh… Sephiroth brought it by last night. He thought I'd enjoy having something to do other than reading, and he showed me how I can e-mail him!"

Vincent got the distinct impression there was more to it than that, but something else she'd said caught his attention first. "Last night? But I was…"

"Vincent, you came home yesterday afternoon, and you've been asleep ever since. It's been a day and a half."

His eyes widened in horror as he stood at the edge of the couch, feeling unable to join her. He swallowed hard and looked down at his feet, even more ashamed than before. "Gods… I'm sorry," he whispered, shaking his head in disgust. "I did not realize…"

"Hey, it's all right," Lucrecia said, her quiet voice soothing. "Come here, love."

He reluctantly lifted his gaze and met her eyes, drawn in by the love and support she was offering. Though he knew he didn't deserve it and should be left alone to suffer, he did as she asked and sat beside her, leaving a foot of distance between them. He heard Lucrecia sigh, and she shook her head disapprovingly as she moved closer and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"You really need to stop beating yourself up all the time," she said, smiling gently to take the sting out of her words. "I told you it doesn't change how I feel about you. I'm not upset in the least… Once you were home safe, I was happy. I know you were hurting and needed to rest, and I've been fine amusing myself. I slept with you for a lot of the time, and I'm having fun playing with my new toy. It's really okay… I just want you to relax and stop worrying."

He heard the words and knew how genuine they were, but Vincent still struggled to believe they could possibly be true. He knew she loved him, but he also knew he'd put that emotion to far greater tests in the last few months than most relationships endured in decades.

"Thank you for not getting angry, and for taking care of me," he said, finally feeling comfortable enough to slip his arm around her. The words did nothing to express what he really felt, but after how poorly he'd been communicating as of late, he knew he at least had to try.

"That's just what you do when you love someone," she said with a smile, leaning in against him and moving her hand to his chest. "And next time you need me, I'll gladly do it again."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, and Vincent was relieved to find it held none of the awkwardness they'd battled in recent weeks. They were simply a couple in love, enjoying each other's warmth and companionship. He pulled her closer, sighing contently as she laid her head on his shoulder. He could almost forget that somewhere inside him a demon lurked, awaiting its next opportunity to emerge.

"Vincent?" Lucrecia asked after several minutes had passed, her soft voice interrupting his reflections. "Can I ask you something… unpleasant?"

"You can ask me anything," he said quietly, though her words and nervous tone set him on edge. A familiar sick feeling settled into the pit of his stomach as he wondered what she wanted to know. He'd been trying so hard to forget what he was and enjoy their time together, but it seemed something more serious remained on his lover's mind.

"I'm sorry, baby, but it's… about Chaos. I just want to help you… so I was hoping to learn a little more about him…?"

Vincent fought to control his expression, his heart rate increasing and his face coloring a bit pink. He hated to talk about the foul demon, especially to her. "Him? Chaos is not a person…"

Lucrecia frowned, biting her lower lip as if about to say something. But after a moment, she simply shook her head and shrugged. "Well… He lives in your body, and it's just easier than saying 'it' all the time. Do you really mind?"

"I suppose not… Go on."

"Do you… remember how he was joined with you? Or know anything about where he came from? I never heard of such a thing while I worked in the lab, but I know now that was only one of the things that was kept from me…"

Vincent's mind was immediately propelled back to the night Hojo had changed him, gritting his teeth as unwanted images assaulted his mind. He quickly fought against them, focusing on the feel of Lucrecia's hand on his chest, reminding himself that they were together, safe, in the present. He hoped she was unable to tell how the simple question had affected him, though from her worried expression he had a feeling she knew well.

"No," he finally answered, hating how his voice wavered every so slightly. "I remember nothing after… he tortured me for a while before removing my arm. My next memory is of awakening in my coffin, with Chaos' presence already inside me."

Lucrecia's eyes filled with tears, and she definitely looked sorry she'd asked. She raised her hand to gently caress his cheek, several tears escaping and trailing down her face. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, and he quickly looked away so he wouldn't have to see her cry. "I know it's hard to talk about, but I was just hoping… There has to be something I can do to help you! A scientist did this to you, so a scientist should be able to reverse it. If I can learn more about him, I might-"

"No!" Vincent quickly interrupted, the force behind the exclamation enough to make her jump and withdraw her hand. He felt his body begin to tremble as his mind raced with images of surgical tables and saws, needles and probes. He squeezed his eyes closed, taking a moment to regain control of himself. When he opened his eyes, he found Lucrecia staring at him with concern, though she also looked a bit afraid. He frowned at his own weakness, tightening his arm around her. "I'm sorry… I know you mean well, but the idea of anything more being done to my body… I can't."

Lucrecia slowly moved her hand back to rest just over his heart, nodding her understanding and sniffling away her tears. "I didn't think of that… I'm sorry. I would never try to pressure you into anything, you know that. But even still, I think it would be helpful to learn more about where Chaos came from if possible, don't you? It might help you learn how to fight him off better so you don't have to suffer like this."

Vincent made a noncommittal sound, wanting to change the subject but too shaken to do so. He tried to relax again and regain the peaceful feeling he'd briefly found in her arms, but his memories waged war against him. Chaos' violent desires whispered inside his mind, and he felt his clawed hand curl into a fist at his side. His chest felt tight and he began to struggle to get enough air, a rising panic gripping his insides. He stared into his lap with unseeing eyes, and though his body remained on the couch with Lucrecia, his mind was suddenly locked in a battle between his past and the demon within.

"Vincent? Vincent, can you hear me?"

His head suddenly snapped up and he turned to meet her eyes, blinking rapidly as if just awakened from a dream. No, this had been a nightmare, one of the many he suffered even without being asleep. From discussions he'd had with Aeris about his son the previous year, he knew Sephiroth had similar episodes. He had not confided in her about his own experiences, feeling that her full attention and concern belonged with her husband. He was not quite sure what they were, exactly, but they seemed to be flashbacks or panic attacks of some kind. They made him feel weak and unsettled, closer to insane than he already feared he might be.

"Yes…" he finally managed to answer after a long pause, though he'd heard her voice as if from a great distance. His mind and body felt separate from each other, as if a heavy fog separated them.

"Vincent, you're shaking…"

He felt her move in closer against him, trying to slow his breathing and calm himself before anything worse could happen. "It's nothing," he told her, though he didn't sound convincing even to his own ears. "My mind… It wanders sometimes. I'm all right."

"I'm sorry I brought that up for you," she said knowingly, as if she realized exactly what had happened. "We don't have to talk about any of that any more, at least for now. Maybe I can help take your mind off of it?" She ran her hand along his neck and to the back of his head, easing him down to gently kiss his lips. It was definitely hard to continue thinking about anything else as he leaned over to return it, and soon he was breathless for another reason entirely.

Lucrecia giggled at the look of surprise he wore when she climbed across him to straddle his lap, their eyes locking for just a moment before she kissed him again, far more passionately than before. Vincent had no doubt what was on her mind, and his didn't take much more encouragement to follow her lead. She'd just begun to unbutton his shirt when an unwanted sensation intruded upon the moment.

Vincent both heard and felt the PHS in his pocket vibrate, swearing mentally and directing angry thoughts in the sender's direction. He was tempted to simply ignore it, but after neglecting his duties so much as of late, he knew he really shouldn't. He reluctantly leaned back from his lover, holding up one hand to pause the romantic scene unfolding between them.

"What is it?" she asked as she studied him, her expression puzzled and more than a little disappointed.

"Someone is messaging me, and it may be important since I've been unavailable," he said apologetically, managing to reach into his pocket to retrieve the device. He groaned when he opened the new message and scanned its contents. "A reminder for the Avalanche meeting tomorrow morning," he explained, frowning. A team gathering was about the last thing he felt like doing or thinking about at the moment.

Lucrecia giggled as he tossed the PHS aside, shivering as he ran his normal hand along her back and kissed along the side of her neck. "You always did hate meetings."

"They're just so boring," he complained against her, lifting his head to watch her hands as she returned to the task of unbuttoning his shirt.

"And you worry that you aren't a normal man any more," Lucrecia said with a seductive smile, leaning in to kiss him as she slipped the garment from his shoulders. "You don't want to be interrupted when you're with a pretty girl, and you hate mandatory meetings. Sounds pretty normal to me!"


((Author's Notes: Well, this is what passes for normal for these two, anyway. ;) Lucrecia *almost* told him she'd met Chaos, but seemed unable to go through with it. Why do you suppose she *really* got that laptop all of a sudden? Hmmm… Anyway, after (we can safely assume) Vincent enjoys himself here, he will actually have to leave home and attend that horrid meeting. The idea of him bored stupid through all of the previous ones I've written for the team greatly amuses me. And Cloud thought he was just staring at the wall all the time because he's weird! I think this chapter might push me over 200 reviews, which is like… incredible and shocking. YAY! I love you guys, and really appreciate it! Well, that's a wrap for now. Cheers. ~ JenesisX ))