Chapter 1- Desisions
Okay, this is my first fan-fic. Please r and r. If no one likes I'll write a different one . I thought it has a good plot line though. Sorry it's short. But it is a cliff-hanger sorry.
"What?" I ask in disbelief. How could Jacob ask me that? How could Edward even think of that possibility? Why should I even consider the thought? But it IS tempting...
"Well?" Jacob asks, getting angry. I supposed he needed to know, and I suppose Edward was eavesdropping, wondering what I was going to say.
"I wanna talk to Edward. I wanna hear the words come out of his mouth." seeing Jake shaking, I add, "Please? Go calm down." He nodded slowly, and i knew he was thinking something along the lines of, 'stupid bloodsucker.'
Edward walked in as Jacob stormed out. He looked at me from head to toe, flinching as he saw every bruise the baby caused me. "How could you even think of this Edward? This is our baby, our beautiful baby boy, our little EJ." His eyes filled with guilt and if vampires could cry, he probably would have been. "And i don't want to feel guilty if I made that desision, and....and...."
"I want you to Bella. If you want a baby that bad have one. Just...not one that will kill you." His eyes were full of pleading. "Have a werewolf baby for all I care."
"You wouldn't mind if I had Jacob's baby?" I said barely above a whisper. "I love you and like I said, I don't want to feel guilty."
"Please," Edward pleads with me. "Please."
I look as his chiseled features, his pure stone beauty, the pain on his face."I'll....I'll think about it." His head lifted up higher and hope glowed on his face. I hold my arms up and he comes to pick me up. I kiss him along his jawline until he pulls his face down and, as usual, gives me a restricted kiss. I sigh. If only he knew....
He set me down onto the long white couch and I lay down and close my eyes, thinking about what to do. Jake loves me, Edward loves me. I love Jake, I love Edward. I'm pregnant with a vampire baby, and could quite possibly, most likely die. If I sleep with Jacob... I get to be a mom and Edward and I have a mythical family...but where would Jake fit in that picture? Or, where would Edward fit in that picture?
I start to imagine having a lightly tan baby boy with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. His hair is in small, wavy curls and he yawns like an angel. He looks past my shoulder and whispers a small, "Daddy," that makes me want to cry. Smiling, I look past my right shoulder....
I see Jacob, smiling like there was no other people in the world. I turn around to face him, and he kisses me softly, like that day he almost left me to sacrifice himself at the vampire fight. His arms wrap around me, and i sigh. How wonderful. Suddenly, a cold wind blows through my dream, making it go away.
I see me holding a pale baby with green eyes and golden brown hair. He looks at me logically, not saying anything, and I am crying. I'm not happy, not understanding why my baby won't talk. He lifts a finger and points blankly at the area over my left shoulder. I look behind me, and see Edward, smiling.
He gives me a restricted kiss, and I yearn for more. He holds me gently, and doesn't smile much, just looks at me in a sad lustful way.
My visions flash back an forth, and I don't know which to pick. Suddenly, both appear in my dream. I see the happy, warm side with me human and happy with my beautiful baby and handsome husband. On the other side, I see the somewhat happy, somewhat sad side, with me human and crying with my blindingly gorgeous, silent baby and my gorgeous, silent husband.
I wake up in a sweat, unsure as which to pick. I want a baby so bad, but I don't want to die to have it. And that dream I had encouraged the idea of having Jake's baby. What would Edward say? What would Jake say? What would they feel? I begin crying, and Jake's head popps up.
"Bells! What's wrong??" He asks. I pet his hair, and attempt to stop.
"Nothing, just a dream I had upset me," I whisper, and add, "you need to cut your hair, it's getting shaggy."
He shakes it out. "Yeah, I know, but you seem to like it longer. I think that you like me better when I'm in wolf form too."
"Um..Jake? If I chose what you asked me earlier...what would you do?" I grimanced, waiting for Edward to storm in from the outside and guilt me into chosing some other option, like adopting.
"I would let you do what you wanted to do. I don't need to control you every minute of everyday to make sure you're okay, you were fine before all this crap happened and I'm sure you'll be fine when I'm here to protect you." He says, looking at his hair in the mirror. I smile at his answer, knowing the desision I'm making will be risky. And will possible change the way I feel about everyone forever.
"Jacob, can you step out? I need to talk to Edward."
