Chapter Twenty Three: Family
((Author's Notes: Blade the dog's appearance in this chapter is dedicated to Ardwynna Morrigu, my 200th reviewer. Hope you like it! ~ JenesisX ))
Vincent tried to relax as he and Lucrecia climbed the stairs to their son's apartment. He knew it was foolish to remain so uncomfortable with the idea after so long, but he couldn't help himself. He had never enjoyed social engagements to begin with, and now that he'd been altered he preferred to remain isolated. Part of his need for solitude was shame about what he had became, but Chaos' predatory instincts only added to the desire. He knew that Lucrecia gladly tolerated it and was mostly content to remain at home with him, but he also knew she longed to spend more time with Sephiroth… and to see her son and his father actually begin to bond. Vincent wanted to make her happy more than anything, so he bit down on his unease as best he could.
Though he knew he would never fool anyone, he'd at least tried to make himself look more normal that evening. He's reluctantly left his cloak behind, feeling naked and exposed in just a long sleeved black shirt and pants. He'd had to leave the cuff unbuttoned around his prosthetic forearm, but at least it still hid most of the horrid thing. Vincent had allowed Lucrecia to attempt to tame his wild hair into a ponytail, but his bangs still hung rebelliously into face. He missed his bandana already… not that it did a much better job. She'd been satisfied with her efforts, however, insisting he looked 'dashing' as he playfully rolled his eyes.
"I'm so happy we're doing this," Lucrecia said, smiling up at him as they approached the door. Vincent nodded, glad she was happy but unable to share her pleasure. Normal things like family dinners were so foreign to him, and he already felt badly out of his element. His lover noticed his discomfort and squeezed his hand supportively before raising the other to knock at the door.
Vincent braced himself as Sephiroth's Great Dane began to bark, still amazed by just how loud the creature was. It made the tension in his head far worse, and he groaned quietly as his ears began to ring. Lucrecia threw him a concerned look as Sephiroth's commanding voice scolded his pet from the other side of the door. A moment later, he pulled the door open and beckoned them inside with a faint smile and nod of greeting.
Blade was immediately upon them, prancing and whining as he briefly sniffed Vincent, then Lucrecia, before racing to his toy box. He quickly returned holding a stuffed spider with long legs dangling from either side of his mouth, showing it to them proudly as he tore about the room. Vincent narrowly avoided being hit in a sensitive area with the dog's furiously wagging tail, and Lucrecia giggled as she reached out to pet him. She loved animals, and he again felt guilty that he did not feel comfortable getting her a pet of her own.
"He will calm down in a minute," Sephiroth said, shaking his head but unable to help watching Blade with amusement. "He has been hanging around the kitchen hoping Aeris drops something for most of the evening…"
"I hope she's sharing with the poor starving baby," Lucrecia said in an affectionate tone, rubbing Blade's back as he finally stopped pacing and leaned against her. His weight nearly knocked her backwards, but Vincent quickly reached out to steady her with one hand. "Although he really has gained a lot of weight… He looks wonderful, Seph!"
"Thank you…" There was an awkwardness in his tone, but the pride was unmistakable. He seemed about to say more when Aeris left the kitchen and approached them, a wide smile on her face.
"Hi, guys!" she exclaimed, wiping her damp hands on her pants. Her eyes were shining with happiness as she reached them, extending her arms to warmly hug Lucrecia. Vincent cringed inwardly, realizing he was next. But as he awkwardly returned his daughter-in-law's embrace a moment later, something even more disturbing caught his eye.
Elmyra Gainsborough emerged from the kitchen carrying a stack of plates, setting them down on the dining room table without even glancing up at them. Vincent's eyes widened in horror as he watched over Aeris' slender shoulder, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Gods, no… Not her. Aeris released him with a smile, ignoring his obvious discomfort before hurrying back to help her mother. "Make yourselves at home!" she called back to them.
Vincent continued to stare, swallowing hard. Sephiroth noticed and grunted, shaking his head as the three of them stood together in the foyer. Lucrecia looked confused, glancing back and forth between her lover and their son.
"What is she doing here?" Vincent whispered as Elmyra and Aeris returned to the kitchen, Blade following after in hopes of a treat.
"Believe me, it was not my idea," Sephiroth muttered, finally stepping into the living room and gesturing for his parents to follow.
"What's wrong?" Lucrecia asked, her voice already trembling with nervousness. Vincent felt guilty for worrying her but was unable to help his reaction. He already knew a potentially uncomfortable evening had just gotten a lot worse. "Isn't that Aeris' mother?"
Sephiroth nodded, settling into an armchair as Vincent and Lucrecia seated themselves on the couch. Lucrecia remained close to his side as if frightened, picking up on the vibes around her.
"Yes… and she hates me," Vincent said quietly, holding Lucrecia's hand atop his knee. He wasn't sure if he was trying to comfort her or himself.
"Hates you?" she gasped, looking up at him in shock. "Why?"
"She is a superstitious old fool," Sephiroth whispered, frowning severely. "She believes there is a real hell with fire and devils, and that Vincent's red eyes are the mark of demonic possession and evil."
"You can hardly call her a fool when she is correct…"
"That's ridiculous!" Lucrecia exclaimed, before blushing and quickly lowering her voice. "There's a scientific reason for your condition, Vincent. And you are not evil… for gods' sake!"
Vincent sighed heavily, and Sephiroth snorted with disgust. "She barely tolerates me after all this time, but she is terrified of Vincent. I tried to tell Aeris that this was not a good idea, but… she insists we all need to be a 'family' together. She is all Elmyra has, so I understand, but…"
"I'm sure it will be fine," Lucrecia said, though the tremor in her voice made her words rather unconvincing. "Just be yourself, Vincent… I'm sure she'll get over it once she knows you better."
"I'm sure…"
Aeris emerged from the kitchen at that moment, Elmyra close behind her. Aeris was beaming, but her mother looked less than thrilled. Her lips were pursed and her hands were clasped tightly in front of her, her eyes darting about nervously. When they settled on Vincent, she quickly looked away and visibly paled. Vincent kept his expression neutral, nodding to her politely as if he didn't notice.
"I'm so sorry, I forgot that Mom has never met Lucrecia before," Aeris was saying, blushing a bit. "Mom, this is Seph's mother!"
"So nice to meet you," Elmyra said a bit stiffly, managing a smile and stepping forward after Aeris lightly nudged her. She approached the couch cautiously, her eyes shifting toward Vincent every few seconds as if she expected him to attack her at any moment. Lucrecia stood and shyly held out a hand, and the two lightly clasped them together before quickly parting.
"Good to meet you, too," Lucrecia said softly, her shyness nearly drowning out her voice. Vincent suddenly felt extremely protective of her. He could handle Elmyra's dislike of him, but if she mistreated Lucrecia he was not sure how he would react. He was relieved when she sat down next to him again, and quickly draped his arm around her. He was normally too self conscious to display much affection toward her in public, but he found he couldn't help needing to keep her close.
Elmyra stood staring at them for a moment, as if she could not understand how it was that Vincent had a girlfriend who appeared so normal. He was used to such looks and sighed inwardly, wishing for his lover's sake that people would mind their own business and leave them alone. Aeris noticed the tension building and quickly took her mother's arm, her smile a bit more forced.
"Come on, Mom, we've still got things to get ready!"
"Right dear…" Elmyra said absently, slowly tearing her eyes away from the couple and following her daughter back into the kitchen.
"Gods…" Sephiroth leaned over and held his head in both gloved hands, groaning miserably. "I am so sorry about this…"
"Why does she keep looking at you like that?" Lucrecia whispered, sounding almost tearful as she turned her head to meet Vincent's eyes.
"She expects me to jump up, transform, and tear her apart," Vincent said dryly. "Only, she does not even know about that…"
"Can you imagine?" Sephiroth muttered, finally lifting his head again. "Please try to ignore her. She has been looking at me that way for over a year now… although lately she seems to have relaxed. I suppose she is finally convinced I am not going to kill her daughter. Oddly enough, once I found and began caring for Blade it seemed to change her attitude somewhat… She is very fond of him. But she still does not trust me."
"That's so silly," Lucrecia scoffed, biting her lower lip. She was upset, but Vincent could also hear the anger in her voice. "The two of you are wonderful, decent men."
"Maybe she is jealous," Vincent said dryly.
Sephiroth snorted with amusement, rising to his feet and glancing toward the kitchen with annoyance. "Let me get you something to drink… and see if I can perhaps have a word with Aeris. If that woman ever leaves her side…"
"Don't be rude, Seph," Lucrecia scolded him. "'That woman' is still your wife's mother."
"Yes, yes," he muttered, turning and crossing the room with long, purposeful strides.
Vincent closed his eyes and leaned back against the cushions, keeping his arm tight around Lucrecia. It was definitely going to be a very, very long evening.
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Dinner went about as well as Vincent expected. Aeris had thought it was a good idea to seat Lucrecia to his right, and her mother to his left… apparently hoping Elmyra would get used to him with more exposure. During the meal, she'd gradually inched her chair away until she was positioned at the very corner of the table, continually glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. He was annoyed but also felt bad for her, as it was obvious she was genuinely frightened of him and not just trying to be rude. Matters only grew worse when he attempted to pass her the basket of bread with his claw. She'd stared at the offending limb for long moments with wide eyes, swallowed nervously, and quickly snatched it from him as if avoiding a poisonous snake. Lucrecia had done too good of a job helping him forget about the foul appendage as of late, and he'd forgotten that others were not as accepting as his lover. He was left embarrassed and self conscious, and what limited appetite he had quickly faded.
Aeris did her best to keep up a steady stream of casual conversation, but Sephiroth was no help, and the tension had drowned Lucrecia in her shyness. She spent most of the time looking down into her plate and slipping food beneath the table to Blade, and Vincent longed to get them away from the uncomfortable situation. A headache had formed behind his eyes and the whisper of Chaos' desires to escape the confines of civilization and flee into the night began to steadily intrude upon his thoughts.
Once the awkward meal had come to a blessed end, the group gathered in the living room with mugs of tea or coffee. Lucrecia seated herself on the couch between Sephiroth and Vincent, looking for all the world as if she was seeking the protection of two large bodyguards. Aeris commented on how much her husband and his father looked like matching bookends, something which made Lucrecia smile and afforded Vincent a moment of pride. He'd spent all of his life feeling as if he was worthless and would never accomplish anything, and to know that others saw a piece of him in the strong and handsome Sephiroth was an honor. The fact that he had fathered him with his beloved Lucrecia only increased the feeling.
"Everything was wonderful, Aeris," Lucrecia said politely when everyone was settled, though she had actually eaten very little. Vincent nodded his agreement, though he really couldn't tell if he was honest. He took little pleasure in eating any more, and did so only rarely when his body finally required it. The few things he actually craved horrified even him…
"Thank you!" she said cheerfully, as Sephiroth's dog settled in his bed with a loud yawn and began licking his paws. "It's great to finally have the whole family together to celebrate."
"Yeah, thanks for having us," Lucrecia said, fondly patting Sephiroth's knee and smiling up at her son with open affection. He actually smiled back, an expression that went all the way to his eyes. She made this parenting business look so easy, and Vincent found himself impressed and more than a bit envious.
"It's so incredible that… you've somehow come back from the dead?" Elmyra asked, regarding Lucrecia curiously. Vincent immediately tensed, glancing sideways at his lover. He saw her swallow nervously, but she nodded and seemed willing to try to answer.
"In a way," she said quietly, as timid as a mouse. Her confidence had greatly improved since she'd returned to Vincent's life, and he'd tried his best to make her see how wonderful she was and build up her faith in herself. But when she was with new people or grew uncomfortable, she was instantly shy again. He casually slipped his arm around her and eased her a bit closer, wanting to give her his support as much as he needed to remind himself of her presence. "I was cloned… from my DNA profile. So this body is new, technically, but exactly like my old one at the time I died."
"I see… Wow. It's amazing what science can do these days!" Elmyra said, shaking her head in disbelief. "It's so good that Sephiroth has his mother back. I can see how much happier he is." Lucrecia beamed with pride, and Vincent relaxed a little. Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as he feared.
"I'm very happy to be back… I missed he and Vincent so much, and we're all so blessed to have this second chance." She looked up at him and smiled, and Vincent's heart melted. He was able to quiet Chaos' desires inside his mind for the first time in several hours, managing a slight smile of his own. Her influence on him was so strong, and he was grateful for her support. Somehow, she always seemed to know when he needed it most.
"It's good that he finally has some family support," Elmyra said, and Vincent instantly tensed again, his relief quickly pushed aside. What was that supposed to mean? There was an awkward silence, and he heard Sephiroth uncomfortably clear his throat at the other end of the couch. "How did you meet… Sephiroth's father, anyway, Lucrecia?"
I have a name, you know…
"Oh, through work," Lucrecia said, trying to sound casual. Vincent frowned, focusing his eyes on the second hand of the clock across the room. He stared hard, willing it to move faster. The ticking was suddenly deafening to his ears, and as he ground his teeth he was disturbed to find them more pointed them usual.
"You were both with Shin-ra?" Elmyra spoke the company's name like it was a vulgar word, and Vincent felt Lucrecia lean against him just a bit more.
"Yes… I worked in the Science Department, and you probably already know that Vincent was a Turk."
"Aah, right… So how come the two of you never married?"
Vincent heard Aeris gasp quietly, and Sephiroth's breathing suddenly quickened. He saw his son began to wring his gloved hands out of the corner of his eye, and Lucrecia's were clasped tightly in her lap as if she was fighting not to do the same. He looked down into his own lap, mind reeling with painful memories. The longing, the stress, the rejection… gods… one remark and it was all right back at the surface. Would it ever stop hurting, even now that they were together?
"Mom," Aeris cut in, giggling nervously and wearing an alarmed expression. "I'm not sure that's really any of your-"
"No, it's okay…" Lucrecia said quietly, taking a deep breath and managing to meet the older woman's eyes across the coffee table. "We're all family here, after all. We wanted to marry, and had plans to, but… I was still married to someone else at the time. We're engaged now, though, and I can't wait!"
Elmyra's eyes widened. "Oh my. So you two were having an affair? Forgive me for saying this, but-"
Vincent felt a growl rumbling deep in his chest, his vision going red as he gripped the arm of the couch with his claw and fought for self control. Thankfully, just before he opened his mouth to speak, there was a sudden crash from the kitchen. All heads turned toward the sound, and a moment later Blade came trotting into the living room with a large piece of meat in his jowls. No one had even seen him rise and leave the room during the unpleasant conversation, and his eyes shone merrily as he displayed his prize.
"Blade!" Sephiroth exclaimed, quickly on his feet. "Did you steal that?!"
"I put that plate way back on the counter!" Aeris exclaimed, unable to help but laugh. Whether from amusement or nervousness, it was hard to tell… but the look of relief she wore at the interruption was unmistakable. "I can't believe he still reached it!"
"He is over four foot tall, Aeris… and that is on all four legs. Do you not recall the loaf of bread he took from the top of the refrigerator last week?"
"I keep forgetting that he isn't a normal dog! Sorry, sweetheart."
Blade looked back and forth between she and Sephiroth, some of his joy replaced with fear and confusion. He had spent most of his life on the streets, fending for himself, and did not seem to understand what was wrong. Why weren't his pack mates pleased with his find? Had he done something wrong? Slowly his ears went back, and he began to cower as if expecting to be scolded or perhaps even beaten.
Sephiroth sighed heavily and approached his pet, smirking crookedly. He gently removed the meat from Blade's mouth and shook his head, patting him on the head to alleviate the canine's concerns. "Come on, then… I will cut this up and put it in your dinner. I am sorry, it is a bit past your normal meal time, isn't it…"
Vincent watched his son and the large dog vanish into the kitchen, realizing that Sephiroth was relieved to have any excuse to escape. How he wished he could go with him, but he would never have abandoned Lucrecia to the horrid woman who continued to stare at them. His face was still warm with embarrassment at having his personal life revealed, and he did not like how loud Chaos' thoughts had been all evening. He dearly hoped there was no outward sign of the demon past his usual red eyes… From what he could tell, his complexion had not changed and his mass had not increased, but he felt extremely volatile and unsettled, and there was a deep ache in his bones. He knew he needed this evening to end, soon, and hopefully before anything else happened. But he also didn't want to be rude and make himself look worse than he already did.
Thankfully, Aeris quickly steered the conversation onto more innocuous subjects, including Sephiroth's upcoming assignment and how proud everyone was of him. Elmyra continued to watch Vincent suspiciously, but he barely noticed. His mind became lost in the past, thinking of all the things he'd done wrong, how weak and foolish he'd been, and how much he still did not deserve the woman seated at his side. Even now, he was making her uncomfortable and embarrassed. She deserved so much better. She deserved a normal life, with normal gatherings and events, free from stares and concerns about loaded questions and demons. He noticed the way she kept glancing up at him as if sensing his dark thoughts, but he couldn't find the strength to meet her eyes. How could he look at her when he only continued to ruin her life? Chaos was thrilled by his misery, filling in any pauses between thoughts with its own desires to break free and feed its blood lust. It was a powerful combination, and it left Vincent nearly comatose as he stared straight ahead. He heard not a word of the rest of the conversation that evening, and was relieved when Lucrecia finally stood and tugged on his arm.
"… don't you think, love?" she was asking him, peering down at him with concern. He blinked rapidly, quickly realizing that she'd been saying it was late and about time they got home. Gods, he couldn't agree more…
Vincent stood, his mind still reeling, feeling as if he was moving in a thick fog. The whisper of thoughts and instincts not his own raced through his mind as he trailed his lover to the door, Aeris, Sephiroth, and Elmyra following them. Blade came along, too, looking sad to see them go. Lucrecia fondly patted him goodbye, bending over to kiss the top of his massive head. The dog licked her cheek and wagged his tail, happy he'd gotten to see his 'Grandma' again. He next nudged Vincent's hand but quickly walked away when he was ignored.
It barely registered when Aeris hugged both he and Lucrecia and thanked them for coming, and he absently shook Sephiroth's hand once his son had warmly embraced his mother. Vincent was about to open the door and make his escape when Elmyra awkwardly stepped forward and smiled at Lucrecia, then slowly held open her arms. His attention was instantly focused, his protectiveness of her winning out over all else. He fought to tame the predatory way his eyes fell upon the older woman, swallowing hard as he struggled to control his expression.
"It was so nice to finally meet you. We'll have to do this again soon!"
"Oh… yeah. Yeah, sure," Lucrecia said, visibly surprised as she briefly hugged her son's mother-in-law. "Thank you, Elmyra."
When Elmyra released her, there was a moment of silence during which no one moved, the air thick with expectation. Elmyra turned and looked right at Vincent, and he forced himself to calmly meet her eyes. She seemed about to step forward and embrace him as well, and he awkwardly began to lift his right arm. He wasn't thrilled, but it was a first step, at least, and he wasn't about to refuse. But then she quickly turned her back and walked away, leaving him standing there like a fool.
"….."
"Aeris, we are going to have a long talk…" Sephiroth muttered, an angry snarl on his face. Aeris was biting her lower lip, close to tears. Lucrecia stared down at her feet, upset but unsure of what to do. Vincent ached to comfort her but did not react, simply pulling the door open and leaving the apartment without a word. He quickly made his way down the short hallway and the single flight of stairs, hearing the door close behind him and Lucrecia's soft footsteps following. But even louder was the roar of self loathing inside his head.
As he stepped outside into the cool night air, Vincent turned and began to walk swiftly down Main Street, frowning darkly with his hands balled into fists at his sides. The tension that had spread through his entire body during the evening had grown unbearable, and his vision had become sharper and tinted with red. His chest ached and it was difficult to breathe, and a feeling of panic and despair gripped his heart. He noticed a mouse scurry by into an alleyway, a sudden desire to pursue it racing to the forefront of his mind. Dammit, no, not again! He shook his head and growled deep in his chest, squeezing his eyes closed and forcing himself to hurry past. He was not going to let Chaos take over again! Not because of some rude old woman and the things her prying questions made him remember…
"Vincent, wait!"
Lucrecia's voice halted him in mid step, and he turned to find her rushing to catch up with him. Her expression was both surprised and alarmed, and she was breathless when she reached him. He hadn't realized how quickly he was walking, cursing himself for abandoning her along the street so late at night. All he had been thinking about was getting away, to be alone with his hurt before he made things worse. Lucrecia took a hold of his arm and looked up into his face, but he quickly turned his head away to avoid her eyes. "Baby, are you okay?"
Vincent said nothing, his mind lost in the familiar battle for control with himself and his hated inner demon. He was a vile creature not even welcome among his own family. He belonged in isolation, where he couldn't frighten or hurt anyone. He belonged back in the coffin… or dead. At that moment, he wanted to be left alone with his misery. He looked down at her hand upon him and shrugged away from her touch, turning and continuing to walk. Her heard her gasp in surprise as she struggled to catch up again, but he barely cared. It was for her own good.
"Vincent! Don't do this!" she cried, grabbing his arm more firmly. "Baby, please listen to me!"
Vincent heaved a heavy sigh and looked down at her, and he saw her shiver when he met her gaze. He knew Chaos had begun to influence his senses and appearance by now, and he was too upset to feel guilty for frightening her. In some ways, he was glad. "Do what?" he said in a cold whisper, coming to a halt. "Have you not had enough of my company this evening, Lucrecia?"
Tears filled her eyes, and she stepped forward to embrace him tightly. Vincent stood rigidly, refusing to return it. She held him anyway, and he could feel her trembling against his body. A wave of guilt washed over him, and he hated himself more at that moment than he ever had. He wanted to reach out and take her in his arms, tell her he was sorry and that he loved her, and beg her to help him. But he needed her to understand what he was, once and for all. She needed to see that he was not the man she wanted him to be. That man had never existed.
"She was very unfair to you," Lucrecia said when she stepped back, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I'm so sorry… I should have said something, but I… I never know how…"
"It is fine," he said, his deep voice hauntingly flat as he started to walk again. "I am used to it."
"You shouldn't have to be!" she insisted, anger in her voice. She clutched his arm in order to keep up with him, and this time Vincent grudgingly allowed it. "It isn't fair… You are a wonderful, honorable man, and I love you so much. No one should treat you that way…"
"I don't want to talk about it any more."
"Vincent, you can't just shut down every time you're upset. Don't you remember where that got us before? Please…"
He knew she was right, but he was hurting too badly to listen. He had been a pitiful failure unworthy of her love in the past, and now he was vile and evil on top of it. They could not even attend a quiet dinner without it turning into a source of pain and humiliation, and it took so little for the demon inside him to rise up and put her in danger. Why could she not see that? He'd told her so many times, tried to chase her away, but still she remained…
"I can't, Lucrecia," he said quietly, his eyes on the ground. "I can't go on hurting you…"
"You didn't hurt me at all!" she protested, the tears now streaming down her cheeks. "We've been so happy together… You are never anything but sweet and gentle to me. Why are you so hard on yourself?"
"Being with me shames you," he said as they reached their building, stopping outside the covered porch and refusing to go any further. "Go inside… I wish to be alone."
"Vincent…"
He stubbornly turned his head away from her as she stepped in against him and placed her hands on his chest. He couldn't look at her, couldn't face the love he knew he'd find in her eyes. She reached up with one hand and tipped his chin downward, however, and he found himself drawn into her gaze. It was warm and tender, so trusting, and it nearly overwhelmed him. His feelings were so confused, mixed with the fury of Chaos and so full of anger and regret, that he could only stare for long moments until he lost control. He reached out with his normal hand and snaked it around the back of her neck, leaning in to kiss her as he curled his fingers tightly in her hair. It was a rough, passionate kiss, filled with desperation and raw emotion, and when he suddenly pulled away he leapt onto the railing and pulled himself up to the roof of the porch in a blur. Lucrecia was left staring at his back as he vanished from sight.
((Author's Notes: Uh-oh. We've got trouble brewing. The Elmyra idea was kind of random, and I didn't want to totally make her evil, but… I could see her having old superstitious beliefs and a genuine fear of Vincent. She is also still not Seph's biggest fan and prone to nosiness, and thinks this whole story about his parents is beyond bizarre. You can't really blame her, haha… But yeah, now Vincent is all upset again and back to shutting down on Lucrecia. Is she going to get tired of this and having to fight to reach him all the time once and for all, or can she find a way yet again? Is Vincent ever going to knock this crap off? Stay tuned! And in the meantime, pleeeeease go read and review 'Closing the Distance'? Thank you! ~ JenesisX ))
