I wanted to go comfort her. I really did. Her tears were like acid, pouring on my heart and making it dissolve painfully. But I couldn't. I wasn't allowed.
Carlisle explained it to us. "An elf is a...special creature, made when different creatures have a baby."
"But Bella just turned," Rosalie said slowly.
I rolled my eyes. We are an advanced species who remember all and she...gosh she makes my head spin round sometimes.
Really, I don't understand what goes on in that empty head of hers.
My phone started ringing and before it could even ring, Jasper snatched it out of my hand and I instantly started pouting.
It was a text message from Bella. She wanted me to come to her cottage alone with some clothes. She made a list of what she wanted in specific detail and it took a good five minutes, even for me, to hunt down her demanded items. She also made sure to add at the end, "Alone,"
My family looked at me like I had planned this.
"Why hadn't you seen this coming, Alice?" Esme asked.
I pressed my hands against my head. "I don't know."
"You've been watching her right?"
"I've been watching everyone. I can't see anyone." My family stared at me in horror as they realized what was happening.
I was losing my visions.
JPOV
It was misery. I finally understood after Edward explained what Alice had seen. Or rather, had not seen. And not being able to tell her I wanted that too, that would be amazing, we could live a perfect life...
It was as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest and being burned by acid.
It was when I heard her screams did I go run to her.
Because, believe me, I would've before, long before, but before Edward left, he gave me a stern warning about Bella. "Bella is not the same girl she was before. She's going to think more...clearly. See the aspect of every life style before she makes any descions. She may not want you, Jacob."
"Then why are you leaving?"
"Because if I stay, Bella will die."
That was the last time I saw him.
BPOV
I could hear Jacob running to me. Darting past the trees, leaping over rocks, breaking vines and branches.
Although, why is he coming to see me now? It has been over two months.
But in this two months I have thought of every good and bad calculation of being with Jacob and if I would rather be off with one of my own kind.
I had made a list. It was a very long list.
Bad- I don't know how I can handle being around his earthly scent, being I like the taste of earth. Our life spans may differ, and I don't want either of us to suffer if one of us has to live without the other. His pack may not accept me. I still don't understand how my body works, am I still fragile Bella, or more sturdy? What if I can't keep up? What if he doesn't love me? Why is this turning into a what if list? What if I'm deluding myself into thinking I love him, but he is just a rebound for...for...
Who was that god I had married?
I lay down my pen. Why can't I remember his name? I vaguely remember his looks and his family, but none of their names. It was as if they were fading from existance, and taking any remembrance of them along with them.
"Bella."
I wake up and look at my desk, shocked to see I had written down all my thoughts and I had finished my list along with it.
My mind snapped back to the husky voice. Jacob.
I turn around in my seat and look at him, and it's as if I'm seeing him for the first time. His hair has a brighter gleam, his skin has a golden glow. Everything about him was magnitized times a million, and I never thought he could look more beautiful.
"Bella, you look like a nervous reck."
I hadn't heard his words until I was halfway to him, automatically ready for him to embrace me in a hug. I stopped and looked down and saw my clothes were tattered and dirty, and I saw in the nearest reflective surface I was covered in dirt and filth.
"Jacob, I.."
He gave me this look of pure horror, and I wanted nothing more than to know what was running through his mind."
"I have to shower Jacob. Before I can see you that is."
He tried to speak but failed, and just gave a simple nod.
Giving a small wave, I fled from the room.
JPOV
The second I heard water running, I started to investigate what she was writing when I entered the room.
She had made a list of something in her sloppy handwriting, and I couldn't read the title. But everything was almost neat enough to read, so I snopped a little bit.
Bad- I don't know how I can handle being around his earthly scent, being I like the taste of earth. Our life spans may differ, and I don't want either of us to suffer if one of us has to live without the other. His pack may not accept me. I still don't understand how my body works, am I still fragile Bella, or more sturdy? What if I can't keep up? What if he doesn't love me? Why is this turning into a what if list? What if I'm deluding myself into thinking I love him, but he is just a rebound for...for...
Who was that god I had married?
Wait, back to Jacob.
Good- I love him, and I think he loves me, and I think I just found my answer.
And beneath those were two words, yes and no.
In red pen was question marks scratching holes in the paper.
After re-reading her list, the water in her bathroom clicked off.
I set the list back down and turned to face everything Edward had warned me about.
