Chapter Twenty Eight: Panic

Part 2

((Author's Notes: This is the second half of this chapter, which I split in half to give readers a break if they needed it because of its length. So if you are coming here without reading the previous chapter first, you need to go back or this will make no sense. I have noticed since posting both parts together several days ago that many more people are viewing this half of the chapter than the first, and that is just... not right for obvious reasons. So I'm adding this note in the hopes that it helps clear up that situation. ~ JenesisX ))


"…what?" Vincent whispered, lifting his head away from the wall and suddenly look far more alert. When Lucrecia lowered her gaze and failed to answer right away, he reached out and roughly lifted her chin with his right hand, forcing her to meet his eyes. They were wild with panic, his hand trembling badly as he stared at her. He was frowning severely, but the overwhelming emotion in his eyes was fear.

Lucrecia's mind raced as her lower lip trembled, but she knew she had to tell him the truth. She'd just told him that she wouldn't lie to him, and now was not the time to try to explain away her careless words. She was terrified of how he would react, because he was still emotionally volatile whether his body was returning to normal or not… but she knew she didn't have a choice.

"Can… can you… try to relax and listen to me, and not get upset… if I tell you?" she asked, her voice wavering despite her best efforts to control it. She knew her fear was obvious, but he hadn't removed his hand from beneath her chin and was still staring at her demandingly. Vincent didn't even blink, but after a moment he suddenly yanked back his hand and closed his eyes, and she could hear him breathing deeply and trying to calm himself. She tightened her arm around his waist, needing to hold him close whether he was upset with her or not.

"I'll try…" he offered, and she knew it was the best he could do. Chaos had taken as much of a toll on his mind as he had on his body, perhaps more, and it was obvious that Vincent was still struggling to regain his stability. "Please be careful," he added, opening his eyes and turning to face her again. His expression was softer now, full of sorrow and regret, and Lucrecia gently ran her hand along his cheek. He was still trying to protect her, aware that he was not completely in control of himself and frightened of what he might do. He was always looking out for her and putting her needs first, even when he was on the verge of falling apart.

"You wouldn't hurt me," she told him softly, because she knew it was the truth… regardless of what the demon lurking inside him might do. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this now... I would have told you before, but I was so afraid it would upset you, and I never knew how to say it. But I guess now I don't really have a choice..." She forced a weak smile, continuing to run her hand along the side of his neck, his face, and through his hair as she spoke. Her touch was visibly relaxing him, and he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open and focused on her. She briefly wondered if she could lull him to sleep without having to go through with it, but he was not about to allow that.

"Tell me, Lucrecia…"

"Do you… remember the night you told me you remembered crawling across the upstairs room and making it outside just before you transformed…?" she tentatively asked, bringing her hand to rest along the side of his face as he suddenly grew very tense. His eyes snapped open and focused clearly again, and he nodded sharply once. "Well… you… you didn't."

Vincent instantly recoiled, pulling away from her touch as if it burned. "Wh-what do you mean I didn't…?"

She reached out and took a hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly before he could retreat any farther. "I woke up and saw that you were gone, and… I heard a noise upstairs. It was probably stupid of me, but… I just had this feeling you were in trouble. So I went to see what was happening…"

"No…" he whispered, closing his eyes and beginning to shiver violently. He tried to move away, but she kept her arm tight around him and he was too weak to fight her. Vincent raised his claw and covered his face, his right hand limp in her firm hold.

"Listen, baby," she said quickly, wanting to continue before he got himself worked up again. "I thought this was a really bad time to have to tell you, but now that I think about it… hearing this might actually help." She paused as he cautiously met her gentle gaze through the metal fingers of his prosthetic, slowly lowering it to rest atop his leg. "When I went upstairs, I didn't see anything at first, but then… Chaos stepped out of the corner and approached me. But he didn't seem- Relax, Vincent, please…"

Lucrecia raised the arm she'd kept around his waist and began to rub his bare back, alarmed when he started to breathe so hard she feared he might hyperventilate. He gripped her other hand so tightly it hurt, but she didn't complain or do anything to move it away. He made a pained sound as he undoubtedly pictured the demon towering over his lover, his eyes full of panic as he looked everywhere but at her. She hated that she was causing him so much distress, but it was too late to take back the accidental revelation… and hopefully she could use it to prove to him that she'd been through difficult situations before and remained by his side.

"He was very interested in me… more curious than anything else I think," she continued, still rubbing his back and keeping her voice as soothing as she could given the subject matter. He squirmed uncomfortably and refused to look at her, again raising his claw to cover his face as he groaned miserably. But there was nothing he could do to escape her words, and while it hurt to make him listen Lucrecia forced herself to keep talking. "I was afraid, but I didn't give him any reason to think I was prey. He came very close, touched me a little, even sniffed me like he wasn't sure what exactly I was. But Vincent… he didn't hurt me. He eventually just turned and walked away, and I didn't have a scratch on me afterwards." She shook her head, still awed by the encounter.

Vincent's breath caught in his throat and he glanced at her through his claw, though he didn't lower it. "Why…?" he asked, though the question did not seem directed toward her. The words did seem to calm him a bit, however, and he began to breathe more evenly. His hold on her hand became less painful, and she offered him a fond smile.

"I think you have more influence and control over him than you know."

Vincent shook his head, finally lowering his claw back to his lap. "No… I don't remember any of that. I never do."

"You don't give yourself enough credit… just like tonight," she said, studying him with a mixture of sorrow and admiration. "You are incredible for being able to endure what you do."

Vincent snorted. "Even if you stay, you will never be able to look at me the same after what you saw tonight. You will fear me just as everyone else does… It is exactly what he intended."

Lucrecia bit her lip, though she supposed it was progress that he was actually considering the fact that she might not be leaving after all. But she was ready for the comment, removing her hand from his and reaching up to place it gently beneath his chin. She raised his head until he met her eyes, smiling softly and trying to channel all the love she felt for him into her gaze. "Vincent… when you came home the morning after I ran into Chaos, do you remember what happened?"

He frowned, averting his eyes as if he desperately wanted to escape her scrutiny. He seemed puzzled for a moment, his gaze shifting toward the ceiling as he tried to remember the morning in question. He had been sore and exhausted, after all, and Lucrecia feared he didn't recall. But then his eyes slowly returned to hers, a look of recognition shining within them.

"You weren't mad that I disappeared again… and you took care of me…"

Lucrecia smiled and nodded. "Did it seem like I was disgusted or afraid of you?" she gently asked him, thrilled when he maintained eye contact and answered without hesitation.

"No…"

"And what about after you slept for a while?" she continued, moving her hand along his cheek and leaning in a bit closer. "Do you remember that?"

"Yes," he answered as her forehead to came to rest against his, bringing his hand up to take a hold of her wrist. This time, his grip was gentle. "We talked… and… we made love."

"Twice," she added, leaning in to softly kiss his lips. He didn't return it, but she could feel some of his tension melt away beneath the contact. When she leaned back and studied him he looked slightly dazed, his eyes still locked upon hers. "I didn't leave you because I met Chaos that night. And think about everything that's happened since then… Have I treated you any differently, baby?"

Vincent could only shake his head, though he still looked more defeated than relieved. "But I lost control tonight… I put my hands on you! And what I said to you, I didn't mean-"

Lucrecia silenced him with another kiss, more passionate this time, full of all the emotions she wanted him to feel. She snaked her hand around the back of his neck and held him against her, and while he resisted at first him soon gave in and shyly began to kiss her back. When she breathlessly pulled away a moment later, she embraced him tightly as if trying to make certain nothing would ever come between them.

"There's a lot we need to talk about," she said against his ear, overjoyed when he brought his arms around her to crush her against him. "But what you need more right now is to rest. You've been through so much tonight, and you need time to recover first."

"But-"

She leaned back so she could look at him, the naked fear alive in his eyes. "Everything is okay between us, and I'll be here when you wake up," she said, brushing the hair back from his face. "I promise you that."

He nodded weakly, lowering his eyes as if embarrassed by his insecurity. She could tell he was unconvinced, but simply did not have the energy left to protest. He leaned against her heavily, barely able to hold himself upright. She gently eased them back against the wall, her muscles burning with the effort of supporting his much greater weight. His long battle with Chaos had completely exhausted him, body and mind, and at that moment what he needed was to be taken care of. She hoped that for once in his life he would stop worrying about her and let her do it.

"Do you think you can move at all?" she asked him quietly, their arms still wrapped around each other. His embrace had grown weak, his head on her shoulder and his breathing deep and even. It was not quite as slow and shallow as it normally was, and he continued to shiver and attempt to hold back muffled sounds of pain, but he seemed to be falling asleep against her. As tired as he was and as much as she knew he needed it, she wanted him to be somewhere more comfortable, because from previous experience she knew he would sleep for a long time… and this halted transformation had likely taken a much greater toll on him than if the demon had actually emerged.

"I don't know," he said softly, opening his eyes with visible effort. He seemed content to stay exactly where he was.

Lucrecia glanced around the room, quickly judging the distance between them and the couch. It was only about ten feet, but given his condition it seemed like miles. She knew there was no way he would make it to their bedroom and didn't even consider it an option. "Let's try to get you over to the couch so you can lay down, okay? Then you can go to sleep for as long as you need to."

Vincent lifted his head and turned to follow her gaze, and after a moment she heard him sigh quietly. "It's too far. I'm so tired… weak. There is no way you can hold me up…"

Lucrecia laughed softly, so emotionally drained after the long, sleepless night that his words struck her as funny and she couldn't help herself. He turned to her and blinked, his expression puzzled before it changed to one of hurt. She quickly got control of herself and lifted one hand to his face, bringing him closer to her in way of apology.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you. It's just… after everything we just survived, we're not going to let ten feet of distance defeat us!" She was relieved when his lips twitched into the slightest attempt at a smile, and she leaned forward to press a tender kiss against them. "We're going to do this. I know we can manage if we work together."

"I don't want to hurt you… Gods, I already have! Did I injure yo-"

"Hush. Come on now, let's see if you can stand…"

Vincent frowned severely when Lucrecia removed herself from his arms and rose to her knees, draping his arm over her narrow shoulders. She dearly hoped he had some strength remaining, because she knew she could not possibly lift him on her own. He was lean but deceptively muscular, and had gained some much-needed weight since she'd returned to his life. He was also over six feet tall, and she was almost a foot shorter and slightly built. She had never been very strong or athletic, a book worm who preferred to spend her time in the library or curled up in bed with a novel. If he was not able to assist her at least a little, she knew they would be spending the night right where they were. Vincent might not have seemed to mind, but she knew it was not in his best interest.

"Lucrecia…" he complained, looking up at her almost pleadingly as she adjusted his arm around her and took a hold of the wrist of his prosthetic. He looked so pitiful, his hair trailing limply into his face and his normally piercing red eyes so dull and wary. She tried not to look down at the deep scars etched across his pale chest, each one telling the tale of his love and devotion for her, the bullet wound just beside his heart the most painful of all.

"Try to get your feet under you," she encouraged him, swallowing hard before the tears that filled her eyes had a chance to fall.

"Just leave me here… I have recovered in far worse places. Please… I will be fine."

Lucrecia grit her teeth and began attempting to get them both to their feet without his assistance. She rose to one knee and began pushing her back up against his arm, managing to lift him a few inches from the floor. She was so determined and frustrated that she found a strength she didn't know she had, and Vincent was forced to scramble to get his legs beneath him.

"I'm not… leaving you… on the floor!" she said through her teeth, able to climb onto both feet as she paused to allow him to adjust. It took every ounce of her strength to support him while he dragged his trembling legs beneath his body and slowly got to one knee. Once he got his balance Lucrecia finally took a deep breath, some of the weight she was supporting shifting to Vincent. He was still leaning against her heavily and shaking with the effort, his breathing once again labored, but at least he was trying and having some success.

After letting him rest for a moment, Lucrecia gathered all of her strength and forced her legs to push upward. Her muscles quivered and burned with protest, and Vincent's weight nearly pulled her over when he did nothing to lift himself after her. His eyes were closed and his expression was tight with concentration, and just when she was convinced they were both about to tumble back to the floor he slowly brought his other leg beneath him and shakily began to climb to his feet with her support.

A moment later they were standing together and leaning against the wall, his arm draped across her shoulders and hers wrapped around his waist. They were both struggling to catch their breath, and Vincent was shaking so badly Lucrecia was frightened he was going to collapse. She moved her body closer against his side, letting him lean against her as much as he could without pushing her over. His head dropped forward as his eyes closed, and he moaned quietly as a violent shudder ran through him.

"You're doing so well," Lucrecia told him, her voice strained with the effort of just keeping him on his feet. "We're almost there now."

"We haven't even… moved yet," he muttered, more aware than she thought he was.

"Must you always be so negative," she scolded him teasingly, smiling slightly when he opened his eyes and glanced at her with exasperation. "Are you ready to try walking over there?"

He shook his head and huffed, but after a pause she braced herself as he shakily lifted himself away from the wall and stood as best he could. Lucrecia stumbled as she placed herself beneath his body, his arm heavy across her shoulders. She thought of how easily he could pluck her off the ground and carry her across the room without any visible effort, struggling with all her might just to keep him from falling.

"I'm sorry…" he grunted, and she could feel how hard he was trying to keep his weight off of her as he took one tentative step forward. She was relieved when he successfully placed his foot and kept his balance, dragging the other one after it. She was momentarily distracted by how much larger even his bare feet were than hers as she took a careful step after him, clumsily keeping her body pressed against him in case he collapsed. She had a feeling it would do nothing but bring them both to the ground, but she was at least going to try to break his fall.

"Just concentrate on getting there," she told him, already exhausted but doing her best to sound positive. "I'm fine, baby, you're just a little heavy."

Understatement of the year…

They continued that way in silence, making slow but steady progress until they finally managed to reach the couch. As soon as they were close enough, Vincent collapsed onto his back and sank into the cushions, breathing hard and closing his eyes against the pain. Lucrecia dropped to her knees in front of him on the floor, exhausted and out of breath but full of relief and pride.

"We did it!" she exclaimed when she'd had a moment to catch her breath, reaching out to stroke his pale cheek. "I told you we could!"

Vincent only groaned in protest. He opened his eyes slightly as she gently lifted the arm he'd left hanging over the edge of the couch and placed it on his chest. One of his legs, too, was still dangling onto the floor, and with her assistance he lifted it to rest beside the other. He was just barely able to lay out flat, and Lucrecia was glad the battered old couch was long enough to accommodate his height. When she felt she had the energy, Lucrecia got back to her feet, studying him for a moment before deciding what to do next.

"I'll be right back," she told him. There was a momentary flash of panic in his eyes, but he quickly closed them again and said nothing. Lucrecia hated to leave his side even for a few minutes, but she wanted to make him as comfortable as possible. She went to their bedroom and retrieved a pillow and the comforter from their bed, setting them down by the door. She then went to his closet and removed a long sleeved gray shirt, because whether he was cold or not she knew Vincent did not like to have his chest exposed. She didn't want to add to his stress when he awoke without something to put on within easy reach. Lucrecia gathered the items in her arms and returned to the couch, watching as he opened his heavy eyelids with increasing effort.

"Here," she said, dropping to one knee with the pillow resting atop it. "Let me help you lift your head…" She gently slipped one hand behind his neck, easing his head away from the arm of the couch as he weakly did his best to assist. She placed the pillow beneath his head as quickly as she could before guiding him back down to it, smiling softly at the quiet sigh that escaped him. "There, how's that?"

"Better…"

She reached for the comforter and carefully spread it over him, tucking it in around his shivering body. When she was finished, she brushed a few stray strands of hair away from his face before placing a tender kiss on his forehead. It wasn't exactly their comfortable bed, but it wasn't the cold hard floor, either.

Satisfied, she made her way to their makeshift kitchen and retrieved two of the strong pain killers she had given him before from the cabinet. After removing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, she returned to Vincent and knelt down in front of the couch, lightly touching his cheek. His eyes were closed again and he was breathing deeply, and she thought he might have already fallen asleep. But he turned his head toward her and slowly opened them, a ghost of a smile crossing his lips as he met her eyes.

"Here… try to take this before you go to sleep," she told him, unable to help but run her fingers through his hair. She wanted so badly to touch him, to hold him while he rested and never let go, but there was no room for her to fit beside him on the couch. Vincent groaned at the thought of having to move, but gradually shifted onto one elbow and slowly lifted his head as she opened the bottle of water. She handed him the pills first and he obediently placed them in his mouth, then accepted the water and took a long drink. She held out her hand to take it back, but he raised it to his lips again and had soon finished the entire thing. She blinked in surprise as she took back the empty bottle and set it down on the coffee table beside the shirt she'd left there for him.

"Do you want another one?" she asked as he settled back onto his pillow. After a long pause, there was an almost imperceptible shake of his head. He watched her closely as if debating something, however, and Lucrecia waited patiently in case there was something else he needed.

"Thank you… for doing this," he finally whispered, looking up into her eyes and removing his right hand from beneath the blankets to reach out for her. She took his hand between both of hers and held it tightly, tears filling her eyes. He was looking at her with such love and devotion, tempered with shame and sorrow… It was a powerful and nearly overwhelming combination, and after everything they had just been through Lucrecia could only hope she was strong enough to handle it.

"You don't need to thank me, baby," she said, unable to hold back the tears. "I love you, and I'll always be here to take care of you."

He closed his eyes and sighed, a sound that was somewhere between contentment and regret. "I don't deserve-"

"None of that," she gently interrupted, shaking her head and removing one of her hands to tenderly caress his cheek. "Try to go to sleep now…"

He was fighting it so hard, his mind clear enough to remember what had happened and still frightened that she would not be there when he awakened. But he was exhausted, every ounce of energy spent, his eyelids so heavy they appeared to be weighed down. He squeezed her hand tightly, his eyes sliding shut as he managed to whisper his last quiet words.

"I love you, Lucrecia…"

Lucrecia remained kneeling on the floor, watching as Vincent finally fell asleep. The pain and tension was suddenly gone from his features, leaving behind a delicate innocence. He looked so young, so vulnerable… so peaceful. Even when he was relaxed, Vincent always appeared so guarded. When he was happy, a sorrow clung to him, a regret buried just behind his eyes. Lucrecia bit her lip to keep from sobbing with the knowledge that all of his pain was her fault. He had been the quiet, peaceful man sleeping before her until she hurt him. Part of her knew that he had already been deeply wounded when they met… They both had been. But it only made what she had done far worse. He had trusted her, confided in her, and she had betrayed him.

Never again…

Though she knew it was not going to be easy, and that there could well be many other nights like that one, Lucrecia swore that she would spend the rest of her life doing everything she could to make it up to him. She had already promised him that she would stay by his side, and she had meant it… but now she was even more dedicated to do whatever she had to to make the rest of his life as happy as possible. She wanted to take care of him, take responsibility for everything she had ever done wrong, and be there no matter how difficult things were. That was the reason she had been brought back to life and given another chance… and she was not going to waste it.


((Author's Notes: Oh hey, you made it to the end of the chapter! Me too. Over 13k words. *passes out* Definitely the longest one in the fic right there, and why not, as it is the finale before the epilogue. I finally decided to split it in half for those who needed potty breaks or who didn't have time to read almost 30 pages in one sitting, but this was indeed meant to be all one chapter. I apologize for the update delay, but I have been having severe issues with my migraines that nothing has helped. I also wanted the last chapter to be special and as close to perfect as possible. I worked on this every day for over a week and hope you all enjoyed it. Please take a moment and let me know what you thought if you wouldn't mind… it would really mean a lot to me. It's the last chapter after all, and second to last update for this story! I can't quite wrap my mind around that yet.

- There will indeed be an epilogue, so this is not the end just yet. There are still some loose ends to tie up between Vincent and Lucrecia, after all. Kind of an awkward 'morning after' coming up for them. We'll see how they handle things and if they can resolve their issues. Or at least start to.

- If you have Facebook and haven't yet, please check out my fanfiction page there! If you search for JenesisX, you should be able to find it. I post frequent updates on my writing progress and other stuff about myself, my AU, and Final Fantasy VII. Thanks for checking it out, and for sparing me a moment to drop me a review! Til next time… (Gah, last time I can say that here!) ~ JenesisX ))