Hi everybody!

So time for chapter 4....ummmm that's about it. I don't really have anything to say......wow, that's a first...

So I guess...ONWARD!!!

Disclaimer: I still got nufin.

~Chapter 4~

Depression

I lay on the floor of mine and Yoko's apartment, staring at the ceiling. It had been about a week and a half since….ya know. I had locked myself away. I didn't go to any of my classes. If it wasn't for Yoko, I probably wouldn't be eating anything. It was almost like I was dead. I didn't go anywhere, I barely said anything, I barely did anything other than sleep or stare at the ceiling. I still wrote, though. Yoko gave me copies of her notes from class. I did my assignments and gave them to Yoko to hand in. But that was it.

"I'm home."

I rolled over and watched her walk around the corner. Yoko sighed. "Have you been lying on the floor all day?" she asked. I rolled back onto my back, ignoring her. She walked over and knelt next to me. "I think you should come to class tomorrow."

"Why?" I asked, my voice hoarse with disuse.

Yoko was startled, having gotten a response from me. She recovered quickly. "You've been out for more than a week. Professor Shina is worried about you. You never miss class."

I stayed silent.

Yoko frowned, worried. Then she took a risk, a big risk. She said his name. "Spitfire wouldn't want you to behave this way because of him."

I sat up, eyes blazing. "Don't say his--"

Something in Yoko snapped. "Don't you say anything!" she said sternly. I was shocked into silence. "Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with you! You save his life, and then you don't even go to see him. Sure he's in a coma, sure his chances are slim, but he's not dead. And here you are moping around like a lost puppy. You cut classes, you don't go out, you barely talk. Who's taking care of him? You can still talk to him, he'll hear you. But what have you been doing? Wallowing in self-pity. Some friend you are." Yoko glared at me fiercely.

I stared at her, mouth agape, shocked. After about a minute of silence, I whispered, "I'll go to class tomorrow." Yoko didn't smile, but she gave a satisfied nod. When she stood to leave, I tugged on her shirt tail. She turned back to me, face blank. I looked at her, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "I didn't go to see him because I didn't want to see him so broken." I said softly. My tears stared spilling over and I looked at the floor to try and hide them.

I felt arms wrap around me and Yoko shushed me as I cried into her shoulder.

"Why don't you go visit him after class tomorrow?" she asked when I had calmed down.

I nodded. "Okay."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

I shook my head.

Yoko stood. Suddenly, a huge smile spread across her face. "Well, now that that's out of the way, time for homework!" She turned to retrieve her bag from the floor.

"Yoko?" I called softly. She turned to me and I smiled at her. "Thanks."

She returned my smile. "No problem."

~0*0~

Yoko and I walked into class the next day and took our seats. I was still pretty out of it, but I wasn't as bad as I had been. Yoko's speech the other day had knocked some sense into me. I ignored the stares I got from the other students. I wore a short sleeve shirt, revealing the bandages that covered my entire right arm. I could already hear rumors being spread about why I was wearing them. As for the rest of me, not much better. I was wearing decent clothes, courtesy of Yoko. My copper-brown hair was piled on top of my head in a messy bun and I had bags under my eyes; I was exhausted. I hadn't been sleeping well at all. It's hard to, when whenever you close your eyes you see blood and fire.

Yoko was helping me do some last minute review of her notes from last class, when Professor Shina walked in. She glanced up at me, and a relieved smile crossed her lips. Yoko had given her a note from my brother explaining that I had been in an accident and had been severely burned, so I would probably be out for a while. I nodded greeting and she stated class.

When the lecture was over, I slumped in my chair. I had to readjust to classes, and it wasn't fun. It wasn't that bad though, could be worse.

"Well look who decided to show today."

Great. It just got worse.

I looked up to see Mika standing over me. She grabbed my right hand, looking at my arm, and sneered. "What is this? Some kind of new fashion trend?" She dropped my hand. I let it thump heavily on the table. "You try way too hard. First you pretend to know Spitfire and now you're trying to be fashionable. What's next? You suddenly become rich?" Mika laughed, as if she had made a hilarious joke. I just stared at her blankly.

"What about you?" Yoko snapped, losing her temper. "Are you just a bitch by nature? Or do you stand in front of the mirror and practice every morning?"

Mika was momentarily stunned. A small smile made its way to my lips as I grabbed my bag and stood. Yoko turned to me.

"You going to see him?" she asked.

I nodded.

"What? Going to see who?" Mika asked, perking up at the word "him".

"Her brother, you dolt." Yoko lied. I had already told her not to say anything about Spitfire's whereabouts. For some reason, I felt like it would be a bad thing if word got out that he was alive.

Mika snorted. "Right. Who was I to think you actually had a guy." She laughed. "No one would want you anyway!"

Yoko glared at her furiously. I put my hand on her shoulder and, when she turned to me, I shook my head. She sighed and turned away. Mika, not wanting to be ignored, tried to provoke Yoko into an argument as I walked away.

When I reached the door, Professor Shina stopped me. She handed me some papers, but this time, she did not smile. "Is everything alright, Sarah?" she asked worriedly. When I just looked at her, she continued. "The tone of your writing has suddenly changed; it's done a complete one-eighty."

I shook my head. "No everything is not alright."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked my professor straight in the eye. "If my writing cannot express the pain I am going through, nothing can." With that, I turned and walked out of the room.

~0*0~

I walked into his room and pulled a chair over so I could sit next to his bed. He was still pale, head bandaged, and covered by a blanket. The cuts and bruises on his face were almost completely gone, his face still covered by the oxygen mask.

"Hey, Spitfire." I said softly, leaning over to gently stroke his cheek. "Sorry it took so long for me to come and see you. I was scared of seeing you so broken." I paused, removing my hand. "It almost broke me last time."

I stayed for a couple hours, talking to him as I did work on my laptop. When I found out he was still having issues with his blood count, I forced my brother to take more blood from me. The experience was different this time, as I was more aware of what was happening. When the needle was removed from my arm, I ran down the hall to the bathroom to empty my stomach. Yep, defiantly still hated needles.

They hooked my blood up to Spitfire and I stayed for about another hour. When I left, I told him I'd be back tomorrow and gave him a light, quick kiss on the cheek.

After that, I headed to Spitfire's house, rather than my apartment. When I got there, I opened most of the windows and dropped my stuff on the couch. I stood quietly for a moment, looking at the picture that had caused my breakdown. I traced its frame, but when I pulled my finger away, dust covered it. I sighed and started cleaning.

I dusted, vacuumed, and scrubbed the house, top to bottom. I cleaned out the refrigerator and threw away everything that was perishable. When I was done, I left for home, grabbing a bite to eat on the way. The sky was dark when I finally entered my apartment. Yoko asked me a bunch of questions, which I answered to the best of my ability. She finished and I dragged myself to my room, collapsed on my bed, and fell asleep.

Wooooo! Another chapter complete!

Still sad...but things will get better, I promise. I'm going to try to finish this fic before Easter, just so you guys know.

Please review and let me know what you think! ^^

P.S. Sorry for the shortness...I'll try to make the next one longer...