A/n: Sorry for the UBER LONG DELAY. It's the last week of school for me so finals have been in my way. I also have three essays. No joke. Three. plus I had a fourth due on tuesday. I'm so busy DX anyway. I'm really sorry for the delay but once school is over I'll update more often. Just give me a week to take me regents for like... four classes. ^^; Now, on another note (actually related to the story) I've made a pivotal decision considering the plot of the story. It will contain Tamaki and Kyouya shonen-ai. No lemon planned unless something comes up.... but for now they will go no further than kissing.

Chapter six:

He looked at me curiously for a moment before asking why I wanted him to do so. I sighed deeply and turned away from him; taking a few steps away and staring off into the sky. I could feel his eyes boring holes into the back of my head. He was worried.

As he should be.

"Tamaki, something very serious has happened. Before you ask I must impress upon you this point. You will never find out what has happened unless I choose to tell you. Know that I will not choose to tell you."

"But Kyouya," he protested, "why not?"

"Because I am not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve nor am I prone to blathering on about family secrets! I ask you to do this for me because the alternative I have planned is far more gruesome, leaving me with no choice! Moreover I ask you because I trust that you will accept that I simply cannot tell you!" I snapped at him. He seemed taken aback by my fiery reaction but still shook his head at me.

"What exactly will you have me do?" he asked. My eyes closed. This was to be the hardest part.

"I want you to knock me unconscious by kicking me in the head. You gave me a serious concussion this morning so I'm sure you could do it again."

"B-but why?!"

"To reverse the damages done."

To bring me back to sweet ignorance.

"That's not an answer Kyouya! I can't just hurt you without knowing why!" he exclaimed nervously, picking up on the tension that rolled off me in waves. My whirlwind of emotions pushed me further and I spun around to face him.

"Good god Tamaki! If I am forced to resolve this matter personally you will never know what becomes of it! Don't you want to know what becomes of me?! This is what must be done and I will have it done!"

We lapsed into silence for a long moment. I surveyed the land around me as the wind blew harshly around us. The grass was swaying crazily like some venomous snake poised for the strike. The branches whipped about madly as if they were about to tear from the tree itself. It was almost scary to stand in the midst of it all. I myself would have been uneasy had I not been so preoccupied by Tamaki and his impending decision.

"Is there really no other way?

"This is the safest of those ways."

I looked at him steadily as he stared into my eyes hopelessly. He didn't want to hurt me, that much was obvious but at least he understood that he could do no greater disservice to me than to refuse my request. After an eternity of staring me down he nodded in defeat.

"Ok," he consented solemnly.

I walked over to him and dropped to my knees. He wordlessly took hold of my shoulder and pushed me down onto the ground so that my head lay low as my knees curled beneath me. He let his hands linger upon me nervously and I could feel that we were both shaking. He hesitantly ran a hand through my hair- he knew how I was usually quite uncomfortable with being touched- and assured me that he would not leave my side while I was unconscious. I thanked him and urged him to strike me before I lost my nerve.

I heard the sound of a blade through the air as if my mind was playing tricks on me. I knew it to be the sound of Tamaki preparing to strike and as he released the full force of his blow upon me I lapsed into sweet unconsciousness.

Sweet bliss at last. I only wished It had worked out the way I wanted it to.

When I woke I was on my back, cradled in Tamaki's arms. He was dozing off and we were both wrapped in his jacket. I wasn't surprised.

This was just like him.

I was grateful to have someone who would be willing to help me with something so difficult and then stay at my side while I was incapacitated. Indeed, I was extremely grateful for in addition to his attempt to help me... he also gave me the best rest I could've gotten.

But it had come to naught.

I remembered everything. Not even the slightest detail- like how her skin smelled like cherry tart- had been erased from my troubled mind. I could still feel her hands all over me, touching me, stroking me, torturing me. It made me want to scream, to run, to fly, to be gone.

My head ached. It was throbbing at each gust of wind and I felt as though someone were tearing my brain apart from the inside. It was a wicked ache...

I would've complained had I not asked for it.

I started when Tamaki moved from his position and pulled me further into his lap as he sat up. I was surprised as he hadn't done that in months. Still, I welcomed the gesture as I was rather desperate for comfort. I rested my head against his shoulder.

"Did you accomplish what you wished to?" he asked me after a long pause. I breathed in his smell as I considered my answer. He smelled of cinnamon and sugar and apples and the home-cooking I never had and never would. He smelled like dreams and paint and tea and hope. He smelled like everything I loved or lacked. A strange juxtaposition of things I'd always wanted but never had and things I always loved. When he nudged me slightly I realized I had spaced out.

"No, my plan failed. You struck me for no reason."

I was shocked at the sound of tears in my voice. I was confused. My cheeks were dry and yet there was an overwhelming sound of sadness there.

"Oh," said Tamaki.

I tried to get up but he held me down.

"Let me up." I ordered irritably.

"You shouldn't get up so quickly, after all you were just unconscious- and for two hours no less." he said reproachfully.

"Two hours..." I repeated in awe.

"Yes. Plus your head got cut open on a small rock after I knocked you out." His explanation touched me. I couldn't believe my luck.

"I'm thankful," I said hesitantly, "that I have a friend as good as you. Not everyone would stay for so long."

Tamaki knew how uncomfortable I was saying things like that so he simply squeezed my shoulder the way I like and smiled at me.

"Anytime," he assured me.

I sat in his arms for some time, watching the skies prepare to make hell for us as my insides churned. I was content to be with Tamaki but the memory of my mother nagged at me insistently. I was dreadfully upset that my plan had failed. No, not failed... Failed was to soft a word for what had happened. It hadn't just failed, it had backfired.

I could see it all more clearly. I could smell her too. Even the sound was intensified.

Worse still, I could remember something else.

I was in a hallway with her. She had me shoved against a wall and was clawing at me and kissing me. My school uniform was falling to the floor as she tore it from my body in an animalistic manner. It was hell.

She was the devil in person.

I shuddered and began to feel sick to my stomach. I got the feeling I'd be seeing those hastily drowned cups of coffee and tasteless power-bars again.

"Tamaki-" I gasped, jerking away from him and feeling ready to vomit. Something in my voice made him let me up. I stumbled away and attempted to empty my churning stomach onto the grass. Tamaki gasped and rushed to my side. He began exclaiming my name nervously as he always does when frightened. He then took my glasses from my face and patted my shoulder as comfortingly as he could manage. I shuddered as I knelt on all fours trembling and feeling sick. I coughed and gagged as Tamaki tried to help.

"What's wrong?!" he asked in a panicked voice

"I think I'm going to be sick!" I gasped as I once again tried to empty my stomach. However, nothing was produced except for a few drops of viscid spit that clung to my tongue like glue. I could only assume that my last meal- breakfast- had long since been digested. Still, my body trembled and shook as I tried to calm my quaking stomach. Deep breaths, I urged myself desperately, deep breaths...

"Are you ok?" he asked as my shaking subsided. I shook my head.

Gradually my body relaxed as I regained control of myself. As I took my glasses from Tamaki he gave me a serious look.

"I'll be fine." I assured him. He sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be,"

He waited for me to stand before he made a move.

"Kyouya," he said, catching me about the waist and taking my hand, "you're worrying me."

I went to tell him I'd be fine but he cut me off by placing a finger against my lips. I felt my cheeks heat up in spite of myself. I tried to pull away but he held fast.

"You look nervous... I'm a freaking you out?" he said in the tone he used on costumers.

"No..." I mumbled against his finger. He removed his hand from my face and trailed it down my neck, unwittingly reminding me of her. I trembled from both fear and pleasure... What he was doing was making me strangely euphoric. I wanted him to do it more.

"Please let me in; I only want to help." he whispered. He came closer to me, putting his lips inches from mine. My breath quickened. I was happy, excited and very confused. I shouldn't be so happy. He shouldn't be making me blush. It shouldn't be this way.

I gently, hesitatingly, placed my hands on him. One on his neck and one on his shoulder.

"Do you want me?" I blurted out before rational thought could stop me.

"Yes,"

He kissed me.

My inhibitions lifted and I kissed him back. I kissed him like I would never see him again, like I needed him, like I loved him. I let all the pain and fear and anger and sadness of my life into the kiss. He was getting into it too. He tugged me close to him so that our waists pressed together. I'm sure my face was burning as he tore at my lip. I could feel his worry and his wanting. I knew he wanted me. I could feel it.

The freedom didn't last.

Tamaki's beautiful face melted into the face of my mother. His thin, passionate lips turned to her greedy ones. His lovely scent disappeared from my nose and was replaced by the intoxicating scent of cherry tart.

"No!" I gasped and leapt away from him. The image of my mother once again disappeared and was replaced by Tamaki's hurt expression.

"I thought you felt the same..." he mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"No!" I gasped taking his hand, feeling somewhat hysterical, "I do like you. I do want to be with you. I just- I saw her- I... it's not you."

He looked at me and I knew he believed me. I could also tell that he was once again very worried about me. He leaned in close and kissed my cheek. I blushed shyly.

"You're confusing me. And you're making me worried."

"I saw something I didn't want to. It doesn't matter."

I couldn't control myself. I couldn't relax. I couldn't let Tamaki know but at the same time I couldn't control the urge to tell him everything. I leaned in close to him and placed my lips against his in a short, but meaningful kiss.

"Tell me what's wrong..." he begged as we broke apart.

I told him everything.

A/n: yay. um yaoi.... yes. ok then. Random question: Is anyone here going to Anime Fest Orlando? Because I am and I'm cosplaying Haruhi. ^^ I'm looking for ouran cosplayers who are going lol.