Disclaimer: Samantha is currently in treatment, her problem with not owning Twilight has gotten worse. Send her your love (reviews ;]) and keep her in your prayers.

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Reviews are like Christmas mornings, full of surprises... and cinnamon buns with hot vanilla icing.


Screen names:

MsFallsAlot - Bella

DoIDazzleU - Edward

ICanCU - Alice

IxFeelxYou - Jasper

SoHawt - Rosalie

HearMeRoar - Emmett

DrShizzle - Carlisle

RUMyMommy - Esme

OffTheLeash - Jacob

SuPaStArSaM - Samantha, Me.


DoIDazzleU has entered the chatroom.

ICanCU has entered the chatroom.

IxFeelxYou has entered the chatroom.

DoIDazzleU: Hello, Alice... Jasper.

ICanCU: Edward... Jazzy-poo.

IxFeelxYou: *nods respectively and salutes*

DoIDazzleU: Jasper-

IxFeelxYou: Commander Whitlock to you.

HearMeRoar has entered the chatroom.

DoIDazzleU: -... Jasper, you're not in the army anymore.

ICanCU: It's been... damn the book never even mentions the damn year, what the hell!?

HearMeRoar: Oooh, dirty mouth, Alice. Clean it up with Orbit.

ICanCU: *shudders* Gum and all its sugary stickiness. *gags*

IxFeelxYou: I will not tolerate this disrespect... especially from Northerners no less.

HearMeRoar: Hey, war's over buddy... slaves are free... you lost.

ICanCU: Not a smart move, Emmett.

HearMeRoar: What the hell kind of physic are you!? You're suppose to tell me before I say it!

IxFeelxYou: Don't talk to my woman that way!

ICanCU: Your woman? *slightly turned on*

IxFeelxYou: *senses Alice's mood* Why yes, my woman...

ICanCU: I don't need to have a *cough* imaginary *cough* physic power to know where this is going...

IxFeelxYou: I don't need to be Jasper the Emotion Man to know what you want...

DoIDazzleU: And I don't need to be a mind reader to feel like I'm being mind-raped, right Emmett?

HearMeRoar: *going through thoughts about Rosalie* Mmmhmm.

DoIDazzleU: ... Yeah, it's only me.

ICanCU: Jasper, do you want to come upstairs and win my war?

HearMeRoar: *absentmindly* That's what she said.

IxFeelxYou: Do I get to wear my uniform?

DoIDazzleU: So... much... kink... *spazzes on floor*

ICanCU: Yes, you may. I'll be waiting.

ICanCU has left the chatroom.

IxFeelxYou: Later guys! I'm getting some! Woo!

IxFeelxYou has left the chatroom.

HearMeRoar: *stops very visual thoughts* *chuckles once* Hey, Eddie... even the emo's getting some! What's that say about you!?

DoIDazzleU: *relieved that some torture has stopped* I'd rather wait.

HearMeRoar: *dumbfounded* And you're definitely a male...?

DoIDazzleU: Yes.

HearMeRoar: And you don't want sex?

DoIDazzleU: I didn't say that. I said I'd rather wait.

HearMeRoar: Bella doesn't.

DoIDazzleU: How do you know?

HearMeRoar: I talked to her yesterday.

DoIDazzleU: *tries to read thoughts* About what? Stop singing that song! I hate it!

HearMeRoar: I wanna know is there anyone on the floor... who can suck me like a-

DoIDazzleU: I GET IT!

HearMeRoar: - *laughs*

MsFallsAlot has entered the chatroom.

MsFallsAlot: Hey fellas.

DoIDazzleU: Hello, love.

HearMeRoar: Hey, Bella *wink, wink*

MsFallsAlot: What's going on? *returns the wink, wink*

DoIDazzleU: You guys do realize you're typing what you're doing... right?

HearMeRoar: So Edward, let's talk about sex.

DoIDazzleU: Not in front of a lady, Emmett.

MsFallsAlot: Oh I'm no lady... wait...

HearMeRoar: That's right, Bella here is a hor.

DoIDazzleU: Hor?

HearMeRoar: Yes, hor.

MsFallsAlot: What is a hor?

DoIDazzleU: I don't... *reads Emmett's thoughts*

HearMeRoar: A hor is a female who-

DoIDazzleU: *roars* BELLA ISN'T A WHORE, YOU BASTARD!

MsFallsAlot: Wow, his sexy growl is fierce.

HearMeRoar: I didn't call Bella a whore, Edward... I called her a hor.

DoIDazzleU: That's because you can't spell, numb-nuts.

MsFallsAlot: I'm not a whore, Emmett. I just flirt a lot and have "surprise" sex, that doesn't make me a whore though...

HearMeRoar: I still don't know what a wha-hor-ee is, but whatever. Sorry, Bella. I was merely trying to spice up the mood.

DoIDazzleU: What the hell-

MsFallsAlot: Thank you, Emmett.

HearMeRoar: *smiles* Welcome.

HearMeRoar has left the chatroom.

DoIDazzleU: Care to explain what just happened, Bella?

MsFallsAlot: I don't know how to say it so I'm just going to come out with it, okay?

DoIDazzleU: Okay.

MsFallsAlot: Every time I see you I "Jizz In My Pants".

DoIDazzleU: ... What?

MsFallsAlot: Have you never heard the song?

DoIDazzleU: No.

MsFallsAlot: Okay... um how about I want you to give me my "Satisfaction".

DoIDazzleU: What are you trying to get at Bella?

MsFallsAlot: *frustrated* I want to have sex with you!

DoIDazzleU: *vampire shock*

MsFallsAlot: *taps foot impatiently*

DoIDazzleU: *comes out of vampire shock* I can understand where you're coming from Bella, I mean I'd tap me too if I were you, but I like my virginity, it keeps me sexy. Sorry, Bella. No sex means no sex.

DoIDazzleU has left the chatroom.

MsFallsAlot: Keep clinging to the V-card, Edward... but you'll fall so hard when you see me in my sexy blue undies! *evil laughter* Wait... this isn't right... *throaty evil laughter* Now that's hawt!

MsFallsAlot has left the chatroom.


Thanks, readers.

I appreciate the reviews/favs/alerts!

I love you guys!

Oh and look at all the possibly "that's what she said" jokes in the last half of the chapter... Emmett would have a damn epileptic seizure!

-Sam