Disclaimer: She tries her luck, everyday, every night.
Me: I try my luck when it's wrong, when it's right.
Disclaimer: She tries her luck wanting to own Twilight.
Me: I try my luck because I'll own it right?
Disclaimer: What? Hell no!
(played to I Like To F*ck by Hot Rod ft. Tila Tequila & B. Dozier)
Reviews/Favs/Alerts are always appreciated(:
Much love to all of you.
Screen names:
MsFallsAlot - Bella
DoIDazzleU - Edward
ICanCU - Alice
IxFeelxYou - Jasper
SoHawt - Rosalie
HearMeRoar - Emmett
DrShizzle - Carlisle
RUMyMommy - Esme
OffTheLeash - Jacob
SuPaStArSaM - Samantha, Me
DoIDazzleU has entered the chatroom.
ICanCU has entered the chatroom.
IxFeelxYou has entered the chatroom.
HearMeRoar has entered the chatroom.
DrShizzle has entered the chatroom.
RUMyMommy has entered the chatroom.
DrShizzle: Thank you all for coming.
HearMeRoar: *spazzes out*
DoIDazzleU: We can't say anything around you, Emmett.
HearMeRoar: *grins* I know.
RUMyMommy: Go on, Carl.
DrShizzleU: *deep breath* We found out you children saw Esme and I... cybering.
DoIDazzleU: *shudders*
ICanCU: Incoming. We're getting the talk.
HearMeRoar: Oh hell.
IxFeelxYou: Stop it, as if their not embarrassed enough!
RUMyMommy: We're sorry you saw that, children.
DrShizzle: We never meant for you to see... we just got carried away, like Emmett and Rosalie.
DoIDazzleU: *double shudder*
IxFeelxYou: No, I doubt anybody can get that carried away, Carlisle, but continue.
HearMeRoar: What is that-
ICanCU: Shh!
HearMeRoar: Did you just shush me?
ICanCU: Shhh!
HearMeRoar: Alice, I'm on a computer... I'm not making any noise.
ICanCU: Fine if you insist, SHUT THE HELL UP!
RUMyMommy: Please don't fight. We just want to explain.
IxFeelxYou: *makes everybody calm* We understand, Esme.
HearMeRoar: Don't you go all Dr. Phil on my ass, Jazz.
IxFeelxYou: Emmett, quit being difficult.
HearMeRoar: Don't put me down!
IxFeelxYou: I'm not?
HearMeRoar: BITCH, DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT A HOLE THROUGH YOUR NADS?
IxFeelxYou: And how do you propose to do that, Emmett?
HearMeRoar: First I'm going to grab them firmly and then I'm going to pinch-
ICanCU: I know where this is going and it's starting sound like stage directions for a porno. Esme will you please go on with whatever you were saying?
RUMyMommy: Alright. *deep breath* Well a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much... they make love to each other to show each other how much they love each other.
MsFallsAlot has entered the chatroom.
HearMeRoar: Making loves is for sissies, quick surprise sex is for real men!
RUMyMommy: *looks at Emmett in disapproval*
MsFallsAlot: *hides little black book full of clients behind back* No surprise sex for me. Heh.
DoIDazzleU: *glares suspicously at Bella's screen name*
ICanCU: I think this meeting is over. I'm going shopping.
ICanCU has left the chatroom.
RUMyMommy: I suppose I should go too, I'll see you at home, Carl. *wink, wink*
RUMyMommy has left the chatroom.
DrShizzle: I've gotten laid more times this week then Aro did when he and Edward were dating.
DrShizzle has left the chatroom.
HearMeRoar: What!?
IxFeelxYou: I'm sensing some loathing here.
MsFallsAlot: That would be me, Jasper. What the hell, Edward? You'll have a round with Aro but not me?
DoIDazzleU: Bella, this is hard to explain...
HearMeRoar: Oh do tell.
MsFallsAlot: Yes, Edward. Do tell.
DoIDazzleU: I wasn't just an experimental gay.
MsFallsAlot: Oh?
IxFeelxYou: Aw hell.
DoIDazzleU: I was gay until I met you.
HearMeRoar: I KNEW IT! I F*CKING KNEW IT! THAT'S TEN THOUSAND BIG ONES, JASPER!
IxFeelxYou: Dammit! I thought I was your first Edward!
MsFallsAlot: Oh my god. My boyfriend is a recovering gay for real.
IxFeelxYou: If it makes you feel any better Bella I just lost ten thousand dollars.
MsFallsAlot: Jasper don't even talk to me, you've even banged him.
IxFeelxYou: What? I thought we were pals... I shared Alice with you... *sniff*
MsFallsAlot: Oh puh-lease, you make it out like you shared some Goldfish with me.
HearMeRoar: And everybody knows sharing Goldfish is a bigger deal than sharing sexual partners, Jasper. It's the snack that smiles back.
DoIDazzleU: I've done it with a Goldfish before.
MsFallsAlot: ....
IxFeelxYou: When?
DoIDazzleU: Bella had some by her computer... while she was typing her mom one of those lemme-bitch-to-you-and-you-can-bitch-to-me letters I snuck one and well... the Goldfish got frisky.
HearMeRoar: How can you tell when a Goldfish is frisky, Edward?
DoIDazzleU: It was smiling at me seductively... and it's tail was sticking straight up.
MsFallsAlot: Oh my god! How many times have you done it with food!?
DoIDazzleU: .... Twice.
HearMeRoar: Hahaha. The Goldfish and....?
IxFeelxYou: Oh this will be good. He's as nervous as a whore in church.
HearMeRoar: Hor.
IxFeelxYou: Sure, Emmett.
HearMeRoar: An apple.
MsFallsAlot: An apple!? Did this apple have any significance?
IxFeelxYou: Whoa, confession time, Eddie.
DoIDazzleU: It's the apple on the Twilight cover.
HearMeRoar: Oh wow!
MsFallsAlot: WHAT!?
DoIDazzleU: It wanted to be a star, Bella! Who was I to deny it's dreams!?
IxFeelxYou: It?
DoIDazzleU: Well I didn't know whether it was a boy or girl! Food doesn't have gender!
HearMeRoar: How did you know... it had dreams?
DoIDazzleU: I could hear it's thoughts.
MsFallsAlot: ....
IxFeelxYou: ....
HearMeRoar: ....
DoIDazzleU: What?
MsFallsAlot: Don't make any sudden movements, you'll scare him away.
IxFeelxYou: Edward... just stay calm...
DoIDazzleU: What are you talking-
DoIDazzleU has left the chatroom.
MsFallsAlot: Emmett get him?
IxFeelxYou: Yeah, Edward's in the straight jacket now.
MsFallsAlot: Good!
HearMeRoar: Hey, Jazz! Gonna need your help. Edward's a wiggler.
IxFeelxYou: I'll be there in a minute, Em.
HearMeRoar has left the chatroom.
IxFeelxYou: Got to go, Bella. Don't worry, we've got Apple Boy under control.
MsFallsAlot: Good. And don't send him back until he's able to brood again.
IxFeelxYou: Gotcha.
IxFeelxYou has left the chatroom.
MsFallsAlot has left the chatroom.
I touched on a forbidden topic, I know.
But honestly, if I didn't open up to the public about the Aro and Edward affair I might have exploded with gayness.
I'm just kidding(:
I love you guys... and girls... mostly the guys though...
PS: Who else is excited as hell for New Moon? Was I the only one who did a fan-girl scream when they leaked part of Bella's Birthday scene on MTV?
-Sam
