Disclaimer: Samantha doesn't own Twilight, only the plots to this story (if that's even what you would call this...)

Wow, chapter twenty... who would have thought I would have made it this far? Personally I thought I would have had a mental breakdown by the time I made it to eleven.

I want to thank everybody who reads my stories. So thank you, without your help I might have given up on writing and said screw it.

I give you all virtual fluffy nutters! If you've never had one, Google it. If you don't like peanut butter... well... wait why the hell wouldn't you like peanut butter? *Oh yes, 'peanut allergies'... then for you guys with the allergies I will give you all fluffy... kittens! And if your allergic to cats and peanut butter... then just read the damn story!


Screen names:

MsFallsAlot - Bella

DoIDazzleU - Edward

ICanCU - Alice

IxFeelxYou - Jasper

SoHawt - Rosalie

HearMeRoar - Emmett

DrShizzle - Carlisle

RUMyMommy - Esme

OffTheLeash - Jacob

SuPaStArSaM - Samantha, Me


DoIDazzleU has entered the chatroom.

ICanCU has entered the chatroom.

IxFeelxYou has entered the chatroom.

HearMeRoar has entered the chatroom.

ICanCU: Hi everybody!

DoIDazzle: Hello Alice, Jasper, Emmett.

IxFeelxYou: WAZZUP!

DoIDazzleU: ....

ICanCU: He's trying to bring the phrase back.

IxFeelxYou: Is it working? Do you feel the awesomeness?

ICanCU: Not yet, honey.

IxFeelxYou: Damn.

HearMeRoar: Guys... I've got some bad news...

IxFeelxYou: What's is it, Emmett?

DoIDazzleU: Oh no. Please tell me you didn't make love to Rose in my Volvo!

ICanCU: Yes, because I was planning to do that with Jasper tomorrow and I'd rather not touch where your ass has been.

DoIDazzleU: *glares at Alice's screen name* This isn't a joking matter, Alice.

ICanCU: I never said I was joking.

HearMeRoar: I didn't make love in your damn Volvo, Edward. Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.

DoIDazzleU: Oh thank god... Satan... who are we suppose to worship?

ICanCU: I'll look it up... *flips through Bible*

HearMeRoar: And nobody wants to the know the bad news?

DoIDazzleU: Bad news? Hmm... so tempting but I'm going to have to go with no. *starts texting Bella*

IxFeelxYou: Well I don't have much of a social life seeing as any human friends I make I'm tempted to eat... so what's the news, Emmett?

HearMeRoar: Toby.

DoIDazzleU: *stops texting Bella* That stupid dog?

HearMeRoar: He's not stupid!

IxFeelxYou: What's the bad news about Toby?

ICanCU: *stops flipping through Bible* He vomited on that cashmere sweater I bought him, didn't he? Swear to god that ungrateful little ball of fur-

HearMeRoar: Don't you talk about Toby that way when you have a Bible in your hands! It's unholy! Plus Toby was a great dog!

DoIDazzleU: Emmett, he messes on the carpet more than Jacob does and that's saying something.

ICanCU: At least Toby doesn't take atomic poos.

IxFeelxYou: What do you mean was a great dog? Did he do something really bad, Emmett?

HearMeRoar: Sort of. I was just taking him out when all of a sudden he ran away! I ran after him and saw him humping Leah's leg which was understandable-

ICanCU: Really? Leah?

IxFeelxYou: She is sort of sexy...

ICanCU: What did you say?

IxFeelxYou: What? I like dominant women... I married you didn't I?

DoIDazzleU: Ooooo.

ICanCU: Jasper Hale!

DoIDazzleU: Oh Hale! Get it? I made a funny!

HearMeRoar: Yes, you made a ironic funny because your humor sucks you prick, now back to my story-

DoIDazzleU: *mutters* Bella thinks I'm funny.

ICanCU: Again, this Bella were talking about... the same person who thinks bananas are secret hot lines to Banana Land.

HearMeRoar: Can I finish my story?

IxFeelxYou: Go ahead.

HearMeRoar: *clears throat* Alright, so where were we before I was interrupted? Oh yes, Leah leg humping... anyways I understood he would hump her she, after all is a bitch, but I was afraid that she would hurt him during sex-

DoIDazzleU: Which she probably would.

HearMeRoar: Yeah, I talked to Jacob about that... something along the lines of death resulting.

IxFeelxYou: *laughs at mental image*

DoIDazzleU: *cringes at Jasper's mental image*

HearMeRoar: -so I grabbed Toby and ran off. I stopped running I realized he wasn't breathing and his heart beat stopped. I killed Toby. Unintentionally for the record.

ICanCU: Like with the baby you adopted.

HearMeRoar: No, it's nothing like with the baby.

ICanCU: I meant you unintentionally killed the baby.

HearMeRoar: No, I intentionally killed the infant.

DoIDazzleU: *gasps in horror* That's terrible!

HearMeRoar: I was hungry...

IxFeelxYou: Killing an innocent infant is a horrible thing, Emmett.

HearMeRoar: But-

ICanCU: It is, it's a very bad thing.

HearMeRoar: *breaks down and starts crying, rocks back and forth*

IxFeelxYou: He feels like Bella did in New Moon.

DoIDazzleU: Hey! I was in pain too!

IxFeelxYou: Puh-lease *giggles internally at Bella's term* Edward, you were cruisin' for bitches.

DoIDazzleU: Who else was there to tell me how pretty I was?

HearMeRoar: DAMN IT! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! WHY CAN'T I BE THE MAIN CHARACTER IN THIS STORY!? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT EDWARD OR BELLA!? WHHHHHHHHHHY!?

ICanCU: *finishes flipping through Bible* Would you fudging believe it? There's no freaking answers!

DoIDazzleU: Did you check the index?

ICanCU: There's no index in the Bible, Edward.

DoIDazzleU: Oh... Google it then.

ICanCU: I'm not your slave!

IxFeelxYou: Slaves!? Where!?

DoIDazzleU: I'm taller than you...

ICanCU: Oh the size thing again, huh?

DoIDazzleU: Size does matter.

ICanCU: Maybe that's why Bella won't have sex with you.

DoIDazzleU: HEY! I won't have sex with her! Get your facts right!

DoIDazzleU has left the chatroom.

HearMeRoar: I want my own damn story.

ICanCU: Oh and what would we call it?

HearMeRoar: Emmett's Adventures.

IxFeelxYou: How original... *rolls eyes*

ICanCU: Let me guess... it's about your everyday adventures?

HearMeRoar: Yes! How did you know?

ICanCU: I'm a *cough* real *cough* physic remember?

IxFeelxYou: You okay, Ally?

ICanCU: Oh yeah, I'm just going through sex withdraw...

IxFeelxYou: Then you better come upstairs and get your daily vitamin S!

ICanCU: Vitamin S?

IxFeelxYou: Vitamin Sex!

ICanCU: I should get sicker more often!

ICanCU has left the chatroom.

IxFeelxYou has left the chatroom.

HearMeRoar: Nobody cares about Emmett... *dry sobs* I'm so alone.

SoHawt has entered the chatroom.

SoHawt: Emmy?

HearMeRoar: Yes, Rosie?

SoHawt: I'm trying to decide on a new lipstick color and I need your help.

HearMeRoar: Is this was my character gets to look forward too? Choosing lipstick colors? What-

SoHawt has left the chatroom.

HearMeRoar: ... Glad to know my opinion matters.

HearMeRoar has left the chatroom.


Poor Emmy.

:(

I'm pretty sure I still have the Cullen IM poll still up on my profile.

Also thank you in advance for alerts/favs/reviews(:

Much love to you guys!

-Sam