Disclaimer: Samantha doesn't own Twilight, only the plots to this story (if that's even what you would call this...)
Wow, chapter twenty... who would have thought I would have made it this far? Personally I thought I would have had a mental breakdown by the time I made it to eleven.
I want to thank everybody who reads my stories. So thank you, without your help I might have given up on writing and said screw it.
I give you all virtual fluffy nutters! If you've never had one, Google it. If you don't like peanut butter... well... wait why the hell wouldn't you like peanut butter? *Oh yes, 'peanut allergies'... then for you guys with the allergies I will give you all fluffy... kittens! And if your allergic to cats and peanut butter... then just read the damn story!
Screen names:
MsFallsAlot - Bella
DoIDazzleU - Edward
ICanCU - Alice
IxFeelxYou - Jasper
SoHawt - Rosalie
HearMeRoar - Emmett
DrShizzle - Carlisle
RUMyMommy - Esme
OffTheLeash - Jacob
SuPaStArSaM - Samantha, Me
DoIDazzleU has entered the chatroom.
ICanCU has entered the chatroom.
IxFeelxYou has entered the chatroom.
HearMeRoar has entered the chatroom.
ICanCU: Hi everybody!
DoIDazzle: Hello Alice, Jasper, Emmett.
IxFeelxYou: WAZZUP!
DoIDazzleU: ....
ICanCU: He's trying to bring the phrase back.
IxFeelxYou: Is it working? Do you feel the awesomeness?
ICanCU: Not yet, honey.
IxFeelxYou: Damn.
HearMeRoar: Guys... I've got some bad news...
IxFeelxYou: What's is it, Emmett?
DoIDazzleU: Oh no. Please tell me you didn't make love to Rose in my Volvo!
ICanCU: Yes, because I was planning to do that with Jasper tomorrow and I'd rather not touch where your ass has been.
DoIDazzleU: *glares at Alice's screen name* This isn't a joking matter, Alice.
ICanCU: I never said I was joking.
HearMeRoar: I didn't make love in your damn Volvo, Edward. Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.
DoIDazzleU: Oh thank god... Satan... who are we suppose to worship?
ICanCU: I'll look it up... *flips through Bible*
HearMeRoar: And nobody wants to the know the bad news?
DoIDazzleU: Bad news? Hmm... so tempting but I'm going to have to go with no. *starts texting Bella*
IxFeelxYou: Well I don't have much of a social life seeing as any human friends I make I'm tempted to eat... so what's the news, Emmett?
HearMeRoar: Toby.
DoIDazzleU: *stops texting Bella* That stupid dog?
HearMeRoar: He's not stupid!
IxFeelxYou: What's the bad news about Toby?
ICanCU: *stops flipping through Bible* He vomited on that cashmere sweater I bought him, didn't he? Swear to god that ungrateful little ball of fur-
HearMeRoar: Don't you talk about Toby that way when you have a Bible in your hands! It's unholy! Plus Toby was a great dog!
DoIDazzleU: Emmett, he messes on the carpet more than Jacob does and that's saying something.
ICanCU: At least Toby doesn't take atomic poos.
IxFeelxYou: What do you mean was a great dog? Did he do something really bad, Emmett?
HearMeRoar: Sort of. I was just taking him out when all of a sudden he ran away! I ran after him and saw him humping Leah's leg which was understandable-
ICanCU: Really? Leah?
IxFeelxYou: She is sort of sexy...
ICanCU: What did you say?
IxFeelxYou: What? I like dominant women... I married you didn't I?
DoIDazzleU: Ooooo.
ICanCU: Jasper Hale!
DoIDazzleU: Oh Hale! Get it? I made a funny!
HearMeRoar: Yes, you made a ironic funny because your humor sucks you prick, now back to my story-
DoIDazzleU: *mutters* Bella thinks I'm funny.
ICanCU: Again, this Bella were talking about... the same person who thinks bananas are secret hot lines to Banana Land.
HearMeRoar: Can I finish my story?
IxFeelxYou: Go ahead.
HearMeRoar: *clears throat* Alright, so where were we before I was interrupted? Oh yes, Leah leg humping... anyways I understood he would hump her she, after all is a bitch, but I was afraid that she would hurt him during sex-
DoIDazzleU: Which she probably would.
HearMeRoar: Yeah, I talked to Jacob about that... something along the lines of death resulting.
IxFeelxYou: *laughs at mental image*
DoIDazzleU: *cringes at Jasper's mental image*
HearMeRoar: -so I grabbed Toby and ran off. I stopped running I realized he wasn't breathing and his heart beat stopped. I killed Toby. Unintentionally for the record.
ICanCU: Like with the baby you adopted.
HearMeRoar: No, it's nothing like with the baby.
ICanCU: I meant you unintentionally killed the baby.
HearMeRoar: No, I intentionally killed the infant.
DoIDazzleU: *gasps in horror* That's terrible!
HearMeRoar: I was hungry...
IxFeelxYou: Killing an innocent infant is a horrible thing, Emmett.
HearMeRoar: But-
ICanCU: It is, it's a very bad thing.
HearMeRoar: *breaks down and starts crying, rocks back and forth*
IxFeelxYou: He feels like Bella did in New Moon.
DoIDazzleU: Hey! I was in pain too!
IxFeelxYou: Puh-lease *giggles internally at Bella's term* Edward, you were cruisin' for bitches.
DoIDazzleU: Who else was there to tell me how pretty I was?
HearMeRoar: DAMN IT! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! WHY CAN'T I BE THE MAIN CHARACTER IN THIS STORY!? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT EDWARD OR BELLA!? WHHHHHHHHHHY!?
ICanCU: *finishes flipping through Bible* Would you fudging believe it? There's no freaking answers!
DoIDazzleU: Did you check the index?
ICanCU: There's no index in the Bible, Edward.
DoIDazzleU: Oh... Google it then.
ICanCU: I'm not your slave!
IxFeelxYou: Slaves!? Where!?
DoIDazzleU: I'm taller than you...
ICanCU: Oh the size thing again, huh?
DoIDazzleU: Size does matter.
ICanCU: Maybe that's why Bella won't have sex with you.
DoIDazzleU: HEY! I won't have sex with her! Get your facts right!
DoIDazzleU has left the chatroom.
HearMeRoar: I want my own damn story.
ICanCU: Oh and what would we call it?
HearMeRoar: Emmett's Adventures.
IxFeelxYou: How original... *rolls eyes*
ICanCU: Let me guess... it's about your everyday adventures?
HearMeRoar: Yes! How did you know?
ICanCU: I'm a *cough* real *cough* physic remember?
IxFeelxYou: You okay, Ally?
ICanCU: Oh yeah, I'm just going through sex withdraw...
IxFeelxYou: Then you better come upstairs and get your daily vitamin S!
ICanCU: Vitamin S?
IxFeelxYou: Vitamin Sex!
ICanCU: I should get sicker more often!
ICanCU has left the chatroom.
IxFeelxYou has left the chatroom.
HearMeRoar: Nobody cares about Emmett... *dry sobs* I'm so alone.
SoHawt has entered the chatroom.
SoHawt: Emmy?
HearMeRoar: Yes, Rosie?
SoHawt: I'm trying to decide on a new lipstick color and I need your help.
HearMeRoar: Is this was my character gets to look forward too? Choosing lipstick colors? What-
SoHawt has left the chatroom.
HearMeRoar: ... Glad to know my opinion matters.
HearMeRoar has left the chatroom.
Poor Emmy.
:(
I'm pretty sure I still have the Cullen IM poll still up on my profile.
Also thank you in advance for alerts/favs/reviews(:
Much love to you guys!
-Sam
