Peter POV:

Saviour

Peter Pettigrew fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat; his bottom was becoming numb from sitting down for too long. He risked a glance sideways to see Remus frowning at the table, as if he was thinking deeply. Peter knew this was a sure sign that he was upset. It didn't take a genius to work it out. Strangely enough he felt rather indifferent towards the whole incident, emotionless. It was strange considering the fact that Helena had been a very kind friend and had even tutored him in reading and charms when no one else had even bothered or noticed.

He felt almost guilty for not feeling anything when it was evident that everyone else was sad. To Peter, they all looked the same; a sea of pale, sad faces that blended into one big emotional mess beneath him whilst he sailed off into the sunset, completely unaffected. Yes, that was the word. Unchanged, unmoved, unconcerned.

In an effort to feel something, he cast his mind back to the time when Helena had first come to his rescue in second year; he remembered the first conversation with his saviour so clearly.

***

"Hello!" A tall dark haired girl said, smiling brightly at him.

"Erm, Hello." He squeaked back.

"Do you mind if I sit here? There's a seat at the back but I'd much rather sit with you." Peter looked quizzically at her. Was she being serious? He couldn't tell so he nodded faintly and looked down at his text book. He turned his head minutely to look towards the back of the classroom. His jaw dropped.

Sirius Black was lounging at the desk with the only other spare seat in the room. Turning back to face the front, Peter wondered who on earth would choose to sit next to him over Sirius. Well, evidently her.

He was pulled back from his thoughts when the girl turned to him and said "Helena Damask, nice to meet you".

He took her proffered hand and whispered "Peter Pettigrew".

They were interrupted by the arrival of the charms professor and Helena noticed the way Peter almost wilted in his chair as soon as the teacher had entered the room. The Professor began with no introduction whatsoever. "Now today, we will be testing your basic charms knowledge from first year with a quiz. Split into pairs please."

Peter had always hated this part the most. Before he had come to Hogwarts, his parents had believed it to be 'beneficiary' to send him to a muggle primary school. It had been the worst four years of his short life, always being picked on for his size and always being chosen last.

"Hey Peter, can we pair up? It doesn't matter if you want to go with someone else-" Helena began.

"No, no" he replied, not too quickly – he didn't want to appear desperate in his first lesson.

"Great" She beamed.

Once the quiz was levitated onto the desk, Peter leaned forward to scan the questions and a wave of trepidation engulfed him. He didn't remember anything from his text books; they were so confusing and hard to read. He felt utterly pathetic as he realised Helena was probably much cleverer than him and would ditch him when she saw how stupid he was.

Helena peered over his shoulder and smiled after she read out the first question. "I think the answer is levitation, do you?"

Peter bit his lip and nodded. Helena waited expectantly for Peter to read the second question. He hesitated and began slowly

"What... is...the...corr...correct....me...thod...to...charm...a...a...tea...cup...into...a...pir...pir..." his mind and tongue flailed desperately around the word that evaded him.

"Piranha" Helena finished gently for him. "See, the 'h' is silent" she smiled kindly at him and he turned his face down to prevent her from seeing the burning that was building behind his eyes. "Peter-" she began.

"No –don't bother, I already know I'm stupid! I don't need to be told again" He hissed.

"Peter I was not going to say you were stupid, look how you answered the first question, at least you're trying"

"Trying is not good enough" Peter repeated the words his father had constantly reminded him of when he had been caned for failing anything.

"Trying is everything" Helena whispered fiercely. "Whoever told you that was wrong. Do you know what I think?" She didn't wait for an answer. "I think you were told that by someone who themselves is a failure, you are twelve years old, you have so much potential and yet you speak as if you have missed your chance"

"I am a failure" Peter muttered still not meeting her gaze.

"Failure is an event, never a person" Helena repeated the well know proverb.

"Whoever said that is either stupid or a liar" Peter said stubbornly.

"Or a genius" Helena smiled at Peter's resistance. He would crumble. "Let me help you"

He finally looked at her, his eyes narrowed. "What? Why?"

"Because I can" She replied simply.

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should" Peter had his own wise words with which to fight.

"No. It means I must" Helena smiled triumphantly and Peter managed a small smile back.

"Ok, but promise you won't tell anyone, please"

"Scout's honour"

Peter smiled. Maybe those years at a muggle school would prove useful after all...

***

Peter was suddenly drawn back to the present by the sound of the second bell, signalling the end of the silence. He had a sudden epiphany as he left the Great Hall. He knew why he was unaffected. It was because he could not bring himself to hate her murderer. Her killer was so great, he was power incarnate, and Peter revelled in his presence. The Dark Lord was his only master, and no trivial school loyalties would matter in the end. There was only power, and those who were against it would fall.

Just like Helena.