A/n: I am in no way making fun of Canada or its police. That character is meant for synergism and is part of a commentary on people and human nature in general. Canadians please do not be offended.
Chapter fourteen:
My father stayed firmly in the room, only a foot from my bed, and stared me down.
"I'm aware of that." he said coldly. Clearly he'd wanted more information than that obvious fact. He pressed me for more, "But exactly how and to what extent."
"He did too." I said quietly. I could hardly stand to talk about it- it hurt to much.
"The dead man?" he questioned, surprise evident in his voice. I nodded lightly and looked away. My gaze found the wall and I stared at it determinedly. I would not- no, could not- meet his gaze. I felt his eyes trail over my body in speculation and horror. I felt a chill run down my spine as a the temperature seemed to drop a few degrees. After a moment he spoke again, feeling curious.
"Where?"
I licked my lips unconsciously and shook my head at him. He asked again and I continued to stare obstinately at the wall. He sat down in one of the rooms two chairs and continued to look at me.
"If you want her to go to jail you must testify against her, which means you have to tell us what happened." he explained as if I wouldn't understand. I felt my jaw line harden and my lips seal into a firm line. I would not look at him.
"Kyouya, stop ignoring me." he snapped. I turned my head even further so that he wasn't even in my peripheral vision. I heard an angry sigh from my father. I felt Tamaki stir beside me, his hand clutching tighter to mine.
"We have a press conference in sixteen days and you will speak there. You better get used to talking about it." my father said with a kind of cold fury.
"Hey," Tamaki said, dropping the chains of sleep, "Back off. It's too soon for you to expect this much of him. He'll talk if and when he wants to and he'll tell you if he wants to."
My father stood from his seat, stiffened, and looked the two of us over.
"Forgive me, Kyouya, I didn't know I had to get past your girlfriend." he said snidely. He meant it as a simple disparagement and not as an accusation. Still, I felt my spine stiffen and my shoulders square.
"Just because I actually care about him doesn't mean I'm gay." Tamaki said coldly. Thank god he knows how to lie. I mentally praised Tamaki's tact as my father angrily left the room. Tamaki turned to look at me.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I said.
"I was wondering when you'd wake up. You've been out for almost thirty-six hours." he said softly, sleepily.
"I had no idea." I said quietly.
We lapsed into silence as he rubbed circles in my palm with his deft fingers. He was so comfortable to be with. I felt all the pressures of what had happen ease as if he were helping to support the world I held on my bruised shoulders.
"I won't make you tell me anything or do anything you don't want to, ok? I just want you to be happy, alright? Because if you're happy I'm happy. You really mean the world to me. You were my first real friend and the first person I loved. I went a whole year suppressing my feelings for you and now that we're together I just... can't bear to see you upset and hurt like this. Daddy just wants Mommy to be ok."
Tamaki... I... I grabbed his wrist and pulled him up so he was standing before dragging him into the bed. I wrapped my arms around him tightly.
"Thank you." I whispered. I wasn't exactly sure what I was thanking him for. I could have been thanking him for actually loving me with no strings attached, or for not expecting too much of me, or for coming to save me, or for staying with me afterwards, or maybe just for being there. I loved him, I really did.
He put his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek gently. I prepared myself for a flashback but none came. I supposed my father was right. Now that I remembered everything the flashbacks had stopped. I had only remembered those things while I talked to my father because I had purposely thought about them. In a way, it was a relief, even if it had come at a cost.
The police came to me later and asked me what I'd experienced. I found myself wishing Tamaki was around to defend me again and that I had not sent him off to get some real sleep and take a shower.
I looked the pudgy officer they'd assigned to me over. He was short, mid-fourties, sandy-blond hair, brown eyes. He was fat too, and looked too uncoordinated to be a real cop. He was staring at me with sympathetic eyes, trying to seem like he could understand me. Just go away.
"Don't you want her to get convicted? Don't you want justice?"
Let me alone.
"You have to tell us what happened."
It's too soon.
"Please, Kyouya-kun," he begged emphasizing the honorific as if its use would make me want to trust him. He wasn't even being polite.
Too informal... At least get the right one if you're going to try using them.
"Is it that you don't speak English? Is that it? Do you want a translator?"
When I didn't answer he took his radio from his pocket and issued the order.
"I need someone who speaks Japanese in here." he grumbled. He tried french with me, throwing out a few phrases that I pointedly ignored. I kept my eyes on the wall, not wanting to speak to anyone.
"Your chart says there was evidence that you were raped. They say that when you arrived you were coated with both vaginal fluid and semen which was not yours, or rather, not just yours. The dead man had your saliva on his penis- we had a swab taken while you were out. Your father said it was ok..." he rambled on callously. I wanted to hit him, but I kept my face totally emotionless as I stared at the blank wall of my hospital room. I was angry at his utter tactlessness but more importantly I was angry at the information he'd revealed. My father had authorized a swab of my saliva? When? Why wasn't I informed? What else had he consented to? Which of my other rights had he carelessly signed away? First he delivers my body to the hands of the devil then he abuses my lack of consciousness?
"Hey, kid, you want some food or something? Like chips, or, erm, sushi?" he blathered. First insensitive to my situation then making racial slurs? I wanted to have him fired.
But that would mean speaking.
I would only speak for Tamaki, my Tamaki... at least for now.
"Or maybe not then. I'll just stay here I guess, keep ya' company. I mean, a woman raped you so I guess having me around shouldn't do much. Although with your spit on the deceased man's penis there's a pretty high probability that you were raped by him too. You wanna tell be 'bout that?"
My eyes tracked a single fly as it crawled up the wall slowly, buzzing obliviously against the pregnant silence around it.
"Listen I'm not sure if you know what I'm saying but if you do please speak up."
My eyes continued watching the fly as it left it's perch on the wall and flew up to the ceiling. It crawled along the grating of the plasterboard ceiling before finding a light and crawling onto it. The fly touched the dangerous light and electrocuted itself, sending the wretched thing falling down to my bed. It landed, dead, on my knee and I made no move to remove it. The tiny speck of black sat in a sea of imperfect white.
"She won't get away with this if you tell us what happened."
I shook my head, "Leave me alone."
It's been a week.
I am home in Japan, if one can call it home. The walls are still cold and grey, and as the chill and sleet of the winter blows in I can feel my family change like the seasons, growing colder just like the weather.
My father is like ice. He is slippery and frigid to the touch with surprisingly sharp edges. When he sees me I am not sure if he is regretful or ashamed. His hair has become grayer from dealing with the scandal that now plagues our house. The lines of smoking and age in his face have multiplied as he turns to drinking for an escape. I avoid him whenever possible.
My sister is full of love and support- but I cannot see her for she bears my mother's complexion. Her long, curly hair and thin frame look to much like her that I cannot stand to be in the same room as her for more than a few moments. My sister forgives me, and writes me emails everyday proclaiming her love and support. She forgives me for punching her in the airport when she hugged me.
My brothers, as always, do not understand me. They do not see why I am not actively pursuing justice and trying to punish her to the full extent of the law. They do not understand that if I see her in court the demons of my mind hurt me- destroy me. They expect me to 'move on' in mere weeks. I know recuperation will take years. Even Akito had the gall to so callously ask "Why don't you just have her arrested and be done with the thing?" My brothers are like winter winds. They do not understand the effect they have on people.
The press conference is in a few days. I am worried because I do not know what I should say. Father has been coaching me as best he can, reminding me what is tactful in perilous situations like this. Still, explaining my situation to the world will be hard and I know I will not have a second chance.
Soon I am to speak with the police here at the station nearest to my home. I have managed, until this point, to put off fully explaining that night but I know that all the truth will unfold in just a few minutes. This also scares me.
Tamaki is not permitted to come. I will be alone with the officer. I am worried.
"Kyouya? We're ready for you." my ears prick up at the sound of my name. I turn my head, catching a brief panoramic of the station before locking eyes with the man who had called for me. The station is small, and the front room has only a few desks for various secretaries in the front.
"Yes officer." I say softly, standing and walking towards him. He leads me around the back through a labyrinth of halls and holding pens before we reach a small room with a mirrored window and door. He directs me to a chair which I take with a polite 'thank you'.
"I hope it was not inconvenient for you to come out here." he says politely as he folds into his chair and squints over the folding table at me.
"It was nothing considering I am temporarily not attending school." I respond lightly. The host club was shocked at first to find out what had happened and they all wanted to see me quite desperately. I had refused to meet with them though, and to this moment I still spend most of my free time promising to explain it all when things have settled down. Tamaki however, spends all his free time with me.
"Yes I would imagine it would be hard to attend school with all this drama in the air." he says. This man is surprisingly tactful. I am mildly impressed and relieved.
I nod gracefully before gesturing for him to start.
"Can you give me an overview of what transpired starting from when you were kidnapped?"
"A note was thrown through my windshield attached to a rock. It invited me to come speak with my mother. I knew it was a bad idea so I went to seek out my father at his office and stay over at my friend Tamaki's house for the night for safety in case I was being watched. When I went downstairs I was grabbed from behind, zip-tied and shoved into a car."
I pause for a moment to collect my swimming thoughts.
"You were bound while you were in the car?" the man asks quietly.
"Bound and threatened at gunpoint." I clarify coldly, not letting the rush of sadness, fear and anger I feel upon thinking of it seep into my voice.
"Please continue," the man says.
"I do not know what my mother did but we hadn't needed to pass through security. However at the gate a security guard took us into an office. I found that Antoine's gun had been taken away but he had been allowed his knife. I do not know the names of the involved security officers. We boarded the plane and flew to Montreal. On the plane a man by the name of Daisuke Yamamoto agreed to call Tamaki and my father and inform them of my situation. When we landed we passed through customs in the same manner as we had security. I was bound again and we drove to Quebec."
I had practiced saying this. I know what details to give and how to hold myself. I know every word I am to say.
"Do you know if Mr. Yamamoto actually called the people you asked him to?"
"No, I don't."
"Continue."
"We arrived at her home and I was led to a room with very little furniture- a bed, a nightstand, maybe a table, I blocked the scenery out- and locked in. I looked around and found a dildo." I pause to grimace a bit, knowing that showing this particular emotion will only help my cause, "She arrived soon after, not wearing anything one would leave the house in. I had been having flashbacks of the a-abuse-
a pause here for a desired effect of sympathy-
"from my childhood as I regained my memories, and when I saw her for the first time in all those years it was too much for me. I lost conciseness. When I woke up I was on the bed but there was no evidence of foul play. Antoine came in and held me still while she tried to kiss me. I head-butted her and broke free. They caught me again and ripped off my clothes... and duct-taped my mouth. Then she did... oral s-sex to me."
I have to stop to choke on my own words as I remember the feeling of her tongue on my most private place. It was good that I do not have to hide my horror and anger for I do not know if I could suppress it. The officer offers me a glass of water from a jug on the table and I accept it gladly as my tongue has suddenly gone dry. I gulp down a few slurps before I begin to speak again.
"Antoine took off his pants and he untaped my mouth. He put his penis in my mouth and I-I could hardly breathe. All the while she was between my legs with her tongue on my d-dick enjoying my body while I helpless. Then she got off me and took the dildo and she put it... put it up my... my ass and I couldn't do anything. They both screwed me senseless until she finally got bored and decided she was going to kill me. She took a gun and shot Antione while she told me about how she hated my father and wanted revenge on him and how she wanted me to love her. She had a gun to me when my father burst in and shot her in the hand."
"A-and then what?" the officer says. He is disgusted but still trying to maintain his composure and air of professionalism.
"I took the gun and while I was incapacitated by my fear I turned it on my father. I did not shoot. Tamaki, who had been behind my father rushed over to me, took the gun, removed the bullets, and threw it away. I do not know where the gun landed. The Canadian police arrived a moment later."
"And the rest is history," the man says slowly, looking me over as if intrigued by my injured mind.
"History cannot be forgotten." I say after a moment, looking at the table blankly, "Any more questions?"
"Your childhood is in question. When did the abuse start?"
"I was six."
"Were you the only one involved or were the others aware of it?"
"No one else knew."
"They didn't have any idea?"
"But I know something is wrong!"
"There is nothing wrong with this family."
"No."
"What did your mother do to you as a child?"
"She raped me. Many times."
"Do you know exactly how many times?"
"Twelve."
"And yet no one knew?"
"It is a big mansion and we are busy people. I was young and naive. She was twisted and sick."
"You don't think the others were merely monstrously indifferent?"
"I did not say that."
"Did they or did they not know?" he asks firmly.
"They didn't know until my eighth birthday."
He looks down at the notes he'd taken and sighs before reaching into his pocket and handing me a card with his name and cellphone number on it.
"I hope you're telling the truth."
"I don't need any more attention."
"Goodbye, Mr. Ohtori. I'll call you if we have more questions."
"Of course."
A/n: i was a little faster this time with updating. but... it's still slow. I'm trying. and from here out the story is in present tense.
