A/N: I'm really sorry about how long it's taken me to update – I had so much Art to do and exams coming up so please be patient. Enjoy!
Severus POV:
Sick
The sensation of drowning was a strange one, mused Severus Snape.
It was not one that Severus would have chosen, but it was one he had endured nevertheless.
A sniffle from across the deadened Great Hall drew his attention away from his morbid thoughts and turned them into much darker, resentful ones. The sniffle belonged to Lily Evans. The arm around her shoulder did not belong to Lily Evans, nor did it belong there. Ever.
Helena Damask sprung to mind at this moment. She had been Lily's best friend, a brilliant Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, a cooperative of the Marauders and an obstacle.
How he hated her.
Although he had not been surprised to hear of Damask's death, he was surprised that the possibility of a student's involvement was disregarded so early on into her disappearance and subsequent death. If it had been his choice, he would have killed her straight away; he wouldn't have left her for them. That was even too far for him.
Turning away from Potter and Lily in their own private bubble of grief, Severus frowned at the events that had transpired over the past week, and reflected bitterly on how they had not helped him at all on his quest for Lily Evans' heart.
Helena Damask was a pain even in death.
His thoughts once again returned to drowning, this time in self-pity, and he remembered the first time that he had met that stubborn, interfering pain in the backside that had been nothing but trouble for him - a plague if you will - since day one...
***
"See that one, over there, that's him" James Potter pointed at a skinny, dishevelled looking boy with coal black hair which obscured his face from view. "Severus Snape" James spat with derision.
Sirius grinned nastily and narrowed his eyes at his new 'target'. "Don't worry, I have a plan"
Before anyone could ask, Sirius disappeared into the crowd of students.
"Righ' all you firs' years, follow me" A floating lantern yelled.
Severus scrutinised the lantern and realised that there was a giant, bearded, wild looking man holding it up to guide the way. Severus turned to see his best friend Lily Evans gawping up at this 'giant' in awe.
"Come on" He nudged her arm.
The two of them stumbled their way along the track which opened up onto the famous Hogwarts Lake. Severus thought that if Lily didn't stop gawping, her jaw would stay that way and permanently drag along the ground.
"I wan' you four to a boat" lantern man announced over the excited babbling that had broken out amongst the First Years.
Lily and Severus got into a boat together and another girl climbed in behind them.
"Hello" she smiled at them both.
"Hi" Lily replied whilst Severus merely nodded, mentally cursing that they had to have her in the boat with them.
In the next boat across, the three boys minus Sirius were discussing his absence.
"if he doesn't come back in the next minute he's going to get left behind" Remus stated.
Peter looked around anxiously, but James merely smiled lazily and sighed. "He'll be back"
Remus thought this highly unlikely as the boats stirred and edged away from the land, into the water. A black blur crashed out of the trees and leaped from the bank into their boat causing it to wobble.
"Told you" James said casually, completely unperturbed by Sirius' wild entrance.
Looking as if he had been dragged through a proverbial bush, Sirius righted himself and once more the ominous grin stretched across his mouth.
"What have you done" Remus asked dreading the answer.
"Wrong question" James interjected.
"Huh?"
"The question is: What are we going to do"
Remus and Peter exchanges puzzled looks. Peter's eyes lit up as Sirius pulled a huge stick from under his cloak, as if unsheathing a sword. James and Peter grinned.
"Where in Merlin's name did you get that?" Remus asked.
Sirius just shrugged "Look Remmie, you have to be resourceful when dealing with the enemy"
"You have an enemy already?" Peter asked with admiration barely concealed in his voice, Remus gave him a sideways glance but said nothing.
Before Remus could speak again, Sirius reached over the side of the little boat which rocked precariously. James grabbed onto the back of his black robes and counter balanced his weight by sitting on the opposite side of the tiny boat.
"Remus" James pleaded.
Remus sighed and moved to sit next to James; he would not get involved in this, at least, not directly anyway. Peter continued to watch the events with excitement. Sirius extended the arm holding onto the stick and jabbed Severus in the back, who turned sharply and threw Sirius a dirty look. This seemed only to fuel the fire.
Sirius whacked his stick into the side of the boat and grinned as it rocked violently. Lily and Helena did not look very impressed, but Severus turned once again and snarled at Sirius.
"What's the matter Black? Do you need your nanny here to make the boats speed up? Not fast enough for you?"
Sirius was sufficiently goaded, and with an almighty swing, aimed the stick at Severus so that it hit him around the waist and knocked him clean out of the boat which tipped suddenly towards Helena and Lily. Luckily Lily had the sense to leap over to Severus' vacated seat to steady the boat, and leaned over the edge to help him. Although Sirius had almost capsized their own boat in an effort to unseat Severus, himself, Peter and James burst into laughter. Remus merely smiled in relief that they had not followed Snape into the freezing waters.
Helena anxiously looked over her own side when Lily did not see Severus resurface. All she could see was water as dark and smooth as a black mirror, disturbed only by the motion of the unsteady boat.
---
Falling headfirst into ice cold, pitch black water shocked the air out of Severus' lungs. He sank a few metres before his body could even respond to his situation. All-encompassing, uninterrupted darkness contrasted with the panic of watching precious air bubbles escape from his mouth and float upwards to the surface.
Suddenly, his limbs jerked into action and his previously suspended body started to flail uselessly. Calm down, he thought ferociously. His hands began to claw upwards, propelling him forward. Hopelessness enveloped him as his lungs slowly filled with water, searing and burning as he choked.
The worst part was not knowing how far away from the surface he was, as the night was as dark as the lake. Terror filled him as he imagined how many fathoms deep the lake must be, and how many dangerous creatures must inhabit it. The thought of a huge beast dragging him to his death gave him a final burst of strength to send him thrashing to the surface of the lake.
Relief. He gasped. The pure euphoria at dragging in a huge, burning breath was indescribable. Two hands grabbed his shoulders and hauled him upwards onto the side of the boat. Lily. It must be Lily he thought. Opening one eye, he saw none other than the girl who had got into the boat with them. The Damask girl, from the famous blood traitor family. Damn.
Suddenly he felt guilt edge over his relief as he lay coughing, breathing raggedly. This girl had saved his life and all he cared about was Lily watching him embarrass himself. Way to make a good first impression on the people who would become his peers for the next seven years. He huffed in angry embarrassment and smacked away the hand that Helena offered him to help him up. "Don't touch me, you filthy little blood traitor. I don't need your help." He spat venomously at Helena, only loud enough for her to hear.
"Severus? Are you ok?" Lily asked from behind Helena.
"I'm fine" he replied shortly, with as much pride as he could muster considering the circumstances.
"Aren't you going to thank..." Lily began.
"Helena Damask" Helena provided shaking Lily's hand.
"Thank you" Severus spat not meeting anyone's eyes. Now he owed something to someone he hated and anger burned inside him at the mere thought.
Lily gave Severus a gimlet stare but said nothing. Instead she turned to Helena and began a conversation that did not include Severus.
***
Severus had not realised quite how significant that moment had been at the time; not immediately liking your dream girl's best friend was no way to get her to like you. Although calling Lily a 'Mudblood' had been a huge mistake, he was sure that Damask had interfered, planting doubts and malicious words in Lily's ears, turning her against him.
And now this. Lily and Potter cozying up together, no doubt Damask's doing, he though bitterly.
The only regret he had was that Damask had not died at a point when Lily had hated Potter; he thought that with Damask out of the picture, Lily would come running back to him, begging to be friends. How wrong he had been.
He looked skywards and spoke to Helena in his mind. "Why did you have to ruin everything Damask? You cannot even begin to understand how much I hate you right now – you couldn't even die properly. You ruined my chances with Lily, you made me even more enemies and you're a blood traitor who was never, ever good enough or deserved to be Lily's best friend. I hope you're happy, Damask" he screamed silently, pouring all his rage and unfounded revulsion into his outburst.
It sickened him that Lily had always taken her side over his, when he had been the one to tell her everything he knew about magic. it had been him who had befriended her when they were younger, him who taught her some magic even though it had taken him weeks to learn in order to show Lily how to perform spells. all loyalty to him had gone out of the window when Damask had turned up.
Furious with the world, Severus pushed violently away from the table and stormed out of the Hall after the bell had finished.
A/N: Please review, even if you think it's a pile of rubbish :)
