Time to Heal
Chapter 6: Through Her Eyes
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything pertaining to the Gundam franchise.
JULY 12, CE 71
Natarle was absolutely depressed and fuming. 'Why did he have to speak up? We shouldn't have had to fight. I could have convinced Murrue to just work with me to end this war, or at least let me fight alongside her to help her. With our battle strategy this war will be a lot shorter. This whole battle could have been over before it started. Is this why they gave my Azrael? To tighten my leash, so I don't return to the Archangel. Damn them to hell for making me fight my old comrades. ' Natarle started the video, figuring that if she needed to vent she would do it on video.
"Hey Mom, Dad. Today I realized that the military is changing. I don't like it at all. They are not interested in trying to make peace; they just want us to fight blindly. I finally saw them today, but my work towards a ceasefire between us didn't work. I think they put Azrael on my ship to make sure I destroy the Archangel; he stopped my talk with Murrue by launching his mobile suits. One of the girls from the Archangel was sent to the Dominion via a lifepod from a ZAFT ship. She was captured at Alaska and had been with le Creuset since then. She had something with her, but Azrael took it before anyone knew what it was. 'The key to end this war,' is what she called it. What do you think it could be, dad? Dear god, don't let it help them use nukes, if that happens… "
*knock*
Forgetting about the video, Natarle said, "Come in."
Flay walked in, she had changed into the Alliance uniform. "Natarle…," was all she could get out before she burst into tears. The girl had been extremely emotional, but who could blame her; until recently she believed that nearly everyone she had known had been killed. It was a shock to her system and her emotional state showed it. Natarle embraced the girl, still feeling awkward; she was never good at these kinds of things, Murrue was.
"It will be ok. Did you get some stuff for yourself," Natarle asked, she had given the girl permission to get personal items with her military ID.
"Yes, thank you," the girl said still crying.
Natarle remembered the video. 'Oh, crap. I didn't turn it off.'
"This is Flay, she is new on the ship and had been on the Archangel before JOSH-A. Well, I guess I have to go. Bye." Natarle shut off the recording, and then turned to Flay, who looked completely confused.
"It is a video log for my parents; I am going to send them it at the end of the war. I figured that they will need to know what really went on, the Alliance will issue out a cover story to the news stations." Natarle explained to the girl who looked a little less confused now.
"Oh, I never knew you were on good terms with your family."
"I am, although it is sometimes stretched, because of some of the things I am doing, especially now."
"What do you mean?"
"Working for that Blue Cosmos bastard, Azrael. My dad feels that their beliefs are too extreme in order to accomplish peace. What is the point of peace when half the population is killed off; when members of the military are prosecuted for murder of civilians, by the thousands."
The girl looked down, not knowing how to respond to the older woman's comment. Natarle had changed, she wasn't "by the books" like she had been. Flay wondered what had caused her to change so much in a little amount of time.
"Well, I guess I should go back to my room, thanks again, Captain Badgiruel," Flay said, feeling a little uncomfortable because of the change in the older woman's attitude.
"Good night, Flay," the older woman said. When she had left Natarle laid in bed worrying about that disk, if it had information about nukes this war would be a massacre.
PRESENT TIME
After that battle, Murrue wondered if Natarle felt the same as she did. But now she knew, in fact, Natarle had seemed to feel worse than she did. Angry, but not at Murrue, at the military. Natarle had understood that the military had changed into and where the leadership was focused on, the extermination of Coordinators. Natarle disliked ZAFT, but she didn't have major problems with the Coordinators. She looked at the time 3:00 am. 'I still have time to watch the rest of the videos.' She clicked on the next video, July 16.
JULY 16, CE 71
Natarle couldn't help but re-read the memo issued out to her in the morning. The title was N-Jammer Canceler. She was horrified, it could only mean one thing, the Earth Alliance would be able to use nukes, making the possible death toll, if Blue Cosmos had their way, well into the billions. She only hoped that the old warhorses would step up and take control of the military. She didn't know what could happen next, either she and her unit would be sent with nukes to the PLANTS or the military would make an example and then offer a truce. It reminded Natarle about a scenario she had read about in a military history class, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan and the atomic bombs. She hoped both scenarios would never come about.
Natarle started the recording and tried to hide the disgust that she was feeling with her superiors.
"I have to tell both of you something and neither of you will like it. The Earth Alliance has finally obtained the N-Jammer Canceler, but they will more than like use it to create nukes instead of helping the energy problems on Earth. I don't have the heart to tell Flay that we will be sent to start a campaign of extermination and we will be forced to destroy the Archangel. I hope I can prevent the latter from happening, if we can help them end this war they will know that not every member of the military are extremists, like some of the admirals. If I not, Murrue will understand that I am fighting for the sake of my crew, not for the sake of Blue Cosmos. I believe that our target will be the PLANTS, if that is the case what should I do? Follow orders blindly for the sake of my crew or fight for what I believe in and put everyone on board at risk. I won't be able to live with innocent blood on my hands, but I can't live with the blood of my crew on my hands, either. Shit, I don't know anymore. I guess that when the time comes I will act on instinct, I just hope it ends in less bloodshed."
Natarle shut down for the night and started to pray that when the time comes she would do what was right.
PRESENT TIME
Just the video had caused Murrue to become upset, Natarle's desire to stop the war with less bloodshed had ended with the death of most of her crew and herself. She started the next video.
SEPTEMBER 11, CE 71
It was a day that Natarle had hoped would never come; she had received an order to proceed with Operation Elvis. This order would start by attacking various ZAFT bases then to launch a full scale nuclear bombardment of the PLANTS. This order would start a massacre that she would never forgive herself for participating in.
"They just issued an order to start a nuclear bombardment. There is no way I can go along with this. I have to do something. I can't let this ship be involved with the death of billions. My crew will understand what I am doing, if not then, later. Half of her crew was fresh out of college, high school, or basic training they wouldn't be able to live with themselves if they do this. If the PLANTS doesn't try to prevent our attack I will be surprised. I just hope it isn't with more nukes. I hope Murrue can help end this war. If not no one will be alive after all this is done with. Dad, you are probably asking what it would take to open my eyes well here it is, this damn operation."
Natarle went to walk around the ship. She saw the naïve soldiers, who believed that following orders was as important as breathing, and wondered how they would respond to this operation. She realized that she was like that and cursed herself blindly following orders. She saw Flay with the other members of the bridge, all blissfully unaware that the madman that is on the bridge was starting a final campaign against the Coordinators. Would they follow the lead of their captain or follow orders from the top? Only time would tell.
PRESENT TIME
Murrue looked at the final four videos, knowing the event that corresponds with the dates, Boaz, the first use of GENESIS, and two from before Yakin Due. Murrue knew the outcome of each event, but she was still wondering how Natarle responded to Boaz and GENESIS.
AN: I'm back! Each video log made by Natarle was sent to the Archangel before the second battle of Yakin Due. But no one has seen them except Murrue. Hope you enjoy this chapter and more to come tomorrow. Thanks for the reviews.
