So yeah. :3
I have more review answering things to do. :D
Cassandra Phoenix- Yo! :3
Yeah, well… they won't talk, much, but, ah… Well, you'll see. X3
And the chapters have been growing steadily longer; I've been trying, really, to at least reach 5000 words a chapter (ideally 10,000, but that's far from a reality at the moment), but I can never bring myself to write past that somehow-perfect ending point when it pops out.
Like, I'll be writing and suddenly I'll be all, "That's such a good place to leave off". And I realize that going any further would ruin the next chapter's plot.
So… like I said, I'm trying. ^_^''
Hentai-Otaku- Ahhh, someone's excited! X3
Well, I saw your review… and I was all, "Ooohh… well… I COULD try to come up with another chapter today…"
Sometimes I amaze even me. -.-"
butterfly1415- :DDD I loved your reviews. They were both very encouraging, and that's what made me pick this chapter back up even though I swore I had written enough for the day, and write more. You made me wanna post it RIGHT away. x3
I'm kind of upset by the fact that people seem to be losing interest/just not reading and reviewing right away, and maybe I'm just not giving you guys a chance to do it~
So I'm going to try and put at least a day or two between my updates now… Just to let you guys all catch up. X3
ALSO. If I do not get at least five reviews for this chapter, I shall not post another!!
(Unless you're very lucky.) I love you all and I know you're reviewing, but I like the WAFF you get from a happy review. And I haven't been getting very many lately; maybe four a chapter, yet that's with another two people hopping on the bandwagon. :/
I don't know.. I don't want to, like, pressure you all. And like, kill you. But I'd really appreciate it…
Hence why I'm trying to make this chapter so freaking long. .
.
Alright! On to the story!!
Chapter 5:
Of Interferences and Playing Dirty
This couldn't be happening.
"This… this isn't what it looked like," Near told himself desperately, now alone in his room.
"It wasn't what it looked like… it wouldn't happen if he was willing… would he…?"
Near shook his head anxiously.
"He read my diary! He knows…! And he kisses someone else in spite of that, without even talking to me…?"
Near made himself relive the memory of last night; he'd finally dragged himself to L's floor to try and apologize… The door was open, so he went in, and he heard a thud against a wall. Moving over to a door that was half-open, Near peered inside, only to see Light-- now probably his enemy, his rival, if need be, if he wanted to still try to pursue L's affections-- pin L to a wall and start kissing him.
Unbeknownst to Near, who had promptly (and silently) run out of the area, preferring his own room, L had pushed him away mere moments later, apologizing and telling the brunet that he simply couldn't return his feelings at the moment, for there were issues troubling him… and someone that he believed he liked more than the brunet.
But as it was, Near only stood witness to the kiss; and that is what left him alone in his room. This location, and the boring loneliness accompanied with doing nothing with no one around, was becoming horribly familiar, as he was returning to his room more and more, for longer periods of time-- though it wasn't like he ever really left in the first place.
A knock sounded on the door, and Near sat up on his bed. Warily, he admitted them, by telling them they were free to enter; and nearly cried, nearly snarled in anger, when he saw L.
So many emotions, so quickly to arise… it was unlike him. But then again, he was growing used to it, whether they were hidden or not. Lately his hidden emotions were invisibly wreaking havoc on him.
"Near. I noticed you were on my floor last night, and I assume that you only stayed long enough to see Yagami-san kiss me, correct?"
Near nodded, helplessly, even if he didn't appear it, and vaguely another thought came to mind: what if L wouldn't like him simply because he wasn't gay? Or because of the ten-year difference, which had been painfully obvious from the get-go…
"Then you did not see me push him away and tell him that I am unable to return his 'feelings', as I prefer another person?"
"L, you and I both know that all you're doing is dangling false hope in front of me. If you're not going to be able to swear you love me, and that you will care for me and be there for me-- then it's rather pointless for you to be here."
Suddenly, loud, frantic knocking sounded on the door.
"L!? ARE YOU THERE!?" Called a horribly frantic game-loving redhead.
Near got up and opened the door that was being beaten by the anxious redhead, and raised an eyebrow.
"What happened?" Near asked softly.
"Mello-- he went ape-nuts and fucking attacked that Misa girl, and I can't get him to stop!"
Near, somewhat amused, followed as Matt led him and L to the apparent scene of the crime.
"GET OFF MEE!" a rather horrified and appalled Misa yelled shrilly.
Mello was slapping her and drew his gun, putting it to her head with a look of sheer annoyance and boredom, one that said 'I-would-much-rather-be-killing-myself-right-now'. He was used to this type of girl, having had dealt with Linda in Whammy's.
Misa obviously wanted to scream, but her voice failed her, her eyes wide with terror.
"Shut up. You're a pathetic, stupid little whore, and I've had fucking enough of you and that bitchy attitude of yours. Ask anyone and you will learn that I am more than willing-- and able-- to give you the most painful death you have never imagined. Stop fucking ranting about Ryuuzaki and Near and how you want to freakin' rape them in their sleep, and you had better fucking stop even thinking you'll have a chance with my Matt. Now keep your fucking attitude-- and chest-- to yourself, and realize that no one here is the least bit amused or turned on by your shrill, idiotic attempts to 'seduce' us, because they're sorely lacking since they're made to work on pathetic seven-year-olds, not Mafia members, Hackers, Detectives, Police, and company."
Misa whimpered softly, her eyes still staring at the gun, clearly still terrified.
"Oh… and if you ever touch Matt again…"
Mello shot the ground right beside her head, and grinned darkly.
"…Then I won't be nice enough to give you a warning shot before I kill you."
Misa tried to scream; at which point L convinced Mello to leave her alone and she then clung to L. This, of course, meant that Near had to bite back jealousy and return to his room.
Misa was livid.
No, she was more than livid.
"Ooooohhhhh… They're going to get it!" She muttered to herself.
"I am so going to make them regret that…"
And then, slowly, an idea came into existence, thought up by the person most likely regarded as the world's biggest ditz.
"And they say I'm not smart," She said, grinning.
Misa would prove Mello wrong once and for all!
L was sitting with Matt and Mello-- big surprise, there-- in the living room of the first floor (which was kind of a gathering place; more of a common room than personal floors seemed to be).
And then, a very annoying-- and scantily clad-- Misa came in. Her outfit was black leather; it barely covered her chest and lower regions, making her only just decent to look at-- but only in passing could one look without dying an agonized death via blindness. Her outfit was a skirt and shirt combination, though the shirt really only consisted of an 'x' of leather over her belly and two straps holding it up, for the main part of it had a heart cut out of it to reveal even more of her chest. Her skirt wasn't much more presentable; it was so short that it barely fit her properly by the looks of it; the tips of her underwear and ass could be seen. And god, it was a lacy, black thong.
"Look away now, Mello," Matt said, having seen the disturbing sight, and covering his and Mello's eyes instinctively (he somehow knew that more than five seconds of exposure to this would cause their retinas to burn out, leaving them blind).
L, however, only raised a single eyebrow, but did not question Misa's get-up. He knew very well her motives and what she was likely planning. Though there was only a fifteen per cent chance that she would target h--
He was broken out of his musings by a soft, firm ass (that was flattering her-- try sharp and bony!) plopping itself in his lap, forcing him to sit normally (Oh, for fuck's sakes-- that had hurt, and didn't she know he hated sitting normally? It reduced his reasoning ability…!).
"Ryuuzaki-kuuunnn~," Misa crooned in a sickly sweet voice.
'I should just ignore her-- don't look--'
But L didn't pay attention to his gut instinct and instead opened his eyes to give Misa a rather bored and annoyed expression (though only those close to him could really identify it as such).
Misa took this opportunity to shock him with a peek into her shirt via bending over-- why couldn't she wear normal bra instead of that lacy, tiny piece of string!?-- before kissing him rather forcefully.
L did his best to ignore this, even going so far as to roll his eyes, but then Misa did something completely unfair and quite unwanted.
She turned so that she was practically straddling him, and started grinding against him.
Of course, he noticed Near out of the corner of his eye; yet again the albino came in to see something painful and leave.
Misa was a conniving bitch.
She was also ecstatic. Ryuuzaki wasn't protesting, not even a little bit, and she'd soon even have him hard--
But then she was confused, and felt pain in her elbows. When had she gotten on the floor? Had Ryuuzaki jumped her…?
And then she blinked and saw him resettling himself in his chair to finish his tea.
"Misa, that was a completely immature and revolting display."
She was beaten-- but she still had dignity, so she 'hmmph'-ed as she got up.
"By the way, Misa, a bit of advice for you. Next time, try someone who isn't gay, for one."
Misa shrieked angrily, flipped him the finger, and stormed out like the little bitch she was.
Mello and Matt, who had been watching with an air of indifference, promptly burst out in loud peals of laughter.
Near exhaled in a shaky hiss. It hadn't happened on purpose-- well, not at first. He'd accidentally grabbed a razor that had its blades coming awfully loose (he had tripped in the bathroom, and grabbed at the counter wildly). He'd opened his hands, staring wonderingly at the vicious, red lines across his palm, which were bleeding, the color trying to blend with the skin around it.
He'd lifted the blade off his palm, still slightly awed that he felt a kind of release with the pain, and hesitatingly let the blade caress his wrist before dragging it across, in a place that his shirts would hide.
The immediate result was pain; but following it was a twisted pleasure, and a feeling of release, his worries starting to dissipate as he cut again and again. He made sure, though his mind was a bit foggy with the pain-pleasure combination, that he didn't cut very deep or wide; the last thing he needed was to bleed all over the place. No, he did only light cuts, just enough to give him a taste of the pain; for he was new to it.
"Hahhh…"
The pleasure that laced the pain running through his veins was almost enough to become arousing, he noticed with a spark of surprise. But the surprise faded and his thoughts dimmed again as the blade flashed red once more in the light of his bathroom, hidden from the world.
Not that it ever really wanted to see him.
L felt bad about installing cameras and microphones in every room of each floor behind the inhabitants' backs… but then his computer started emitting a pained hiss and a 'hahh' that sounded just as pained, but almost content.
Mind jumping through the possibilities, L turned on the screen, and brought up Near's floor, sifting through the rooms. When he saw the master bathroom, he almost wished he hadn't; Near was sitting slumped against the wall, his right arm covered in bleeding cuts, his left hand (newly de-casted) dancing among the red with a silver, small blade that dripped red.
L cursed and fled his floor, hoping to reach Near before he went too far to be brought back.
Near sighed and hid the blade, and hit his head against the wall behind him.
First he had to deal with cleaning up after coughing like he did, and now this, too?
But it didn't matter. For some reason… he felt like… like, maybe, he wasn't quite so imperfect.
And then his bathroom door swung wide, and a familiar face hovered in front of his own, clouded by understanding and sorrow as a cool, pale hand grasped his own, gently trailing fingers down along the cuts. In a haze, Near watched without really paying attention, as the figure in front of him grabbed a first aid kit and started bandaging the cuts he'd made on his own skin.
Finally, the male that had crouched in front of him and helped him met his gaze unwaveringly; Near mentally started to snap out of the fog that had clouded his mind, and he felt despair as he looked into L's eyes.
Looking away, he closed his eyes and then began to tremble as that icy hand returned, but this time to cup his cheek gently. Near's eyes opened, widening almost involuntarily as he looked at L; and then, as soft, firm lips pressed against his own firmly, unhesitatingly, all he could do was give out a shocked "Mmnh--!" in response. He felt like pulling back, both to get air and cease the sudden contact; but as soon as he felt the urge, he quelled it, daring to hope for love; Near parted his lips ever-so-slightly, going by instinct rather than relying on logic or knowledge (which he had very little of in this situation). His hands slowly came up to rest on the back of L's head and neck, and he felt the other male lick at his lower lip, the hot, wet muscle that was L's tongue feeling rather strange... in a good way, he decided. But then, L drew back a little bit to breathe, staring into Near's eyes (which had opened in protest as soon as he pulled away) and searching them for something.
Near gave a little whimper of need and the want not to abandoned; and said male returned to his lips, his index- and middle- fingers resting on the underside of the other boy's chin to tilt his head upwards a little.
"I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner," L said quietly, after a few moments.
"I should know myself better than this…"
Near gave him an odd look, still out of breath from the solemn, yet heated kisses they shared; L smiled wanly in response.
"I should have known that I love you," He elaborated; Near's eyes, always looking so lifeless and dull, suddenly started to gleam with an inner light, as it were, when understanding flashed across his face; Near practically jumped at him, pressing his lips to L's in a fevered passion that L felt should be taken advantage of.
So the detective nibbled gently on Near's bottom lip, earning a gasp; he used the opportunity to slide his tongue into the boy's mouth.
Near moaned into L's mouth, unable to stop himself, when that hot, wet tongue slipped into his mouth; and his fingers wrapped themselves almost painfully tight in L's hair. Slowly, reluctantly, he pulled away, to gasp the words he'd been dying to utter in L's presence: "I love you too."
It wasn't as impartial and meaningless-sounding as most of his words were; this was said in a fevered, urgent tone, breathlessness and a slight fear of being so vulnerable creeping into his words. In reply, L held him close to his chest; a hand stroked his hair gently, and Near's eyes fluttered closed, basking in the comfort L provided, even as his body screamed for L to kiss him, to continue showing him the physical manifestation of these feelings. Yes, Near loved him emotionally and mentally; but he was lost in the physical sense of it, and he felt abandoned without L's kisses, stranded alone once more. But having L touch him at all was enough; and he didn't want to offend or bother his love with asking for anything more.
"Near, promise me you won't hurt yourself."
Near sighed and nuzzled L's shoulder gently, sleepily.
"That's playing dirty, L."
Without promising- whether from his tired state or because he couldn't face L and promise not to, Near dozed off in L's embrace; and L was content to just sit there and keep stroking the smaller boy's hair as he slept, sighing.
While he did love Near, and was devoted to him, this couldn't ever live to be more than a short-lived, hopefully unimportant fling. After all… if anyone knew that Near was more than a friend to him, not only could he get into trouble with the law since he would practically be considered a pedophile, but Near could start to get targeted by his enemies.
"Near… Don't let yourself love me too strongly," He whispered softly, hating himself as he did.
"I'm not worth it."
Near, sleeping peacefully, didn't respond.
Mello didn't know what was going on, but Near was getting better, it was clear. His eyes were bright and lively again, and sometimes he even smiled, truly smiled.
And he noticed that whenever L talked to the albino-- who had returned to wearing his pajamas, gradually, and whose hair was steadily, if slowly, going back to white as well (apparently his hair didn't hold the pigment well)-- Near would practically light up like a kid at Christmas.
It was rather clear that Near and L had something between them, small and not yet 'serious', and that Near was steadily growing dependant on the older detective. Mello looked on, disturbed by this revelation. Near shouldn't be so dependant, should he? Unfortunately, Mello didn't know; the other orphan had never dated or been in a relationship, as far as he knew.
Well, that wasn't completely true; at one point, when Mello hadn't yet grown to hate him, Near had been a kind-of boyfriend, for a few days; they'd mostly hung out and chatted, but they saw each other very rarely because of a large project, and then Matt and some friends started spreading some rumors, which Mello had heard; and then Near had pulled out on top; Mello had dumped him with a note that badmouthed him and told him to "fuck off".
Mello regretted it now, because it wasn't fair to Near, but he doubted Near remembered it now.
But even so, watching as Near clung to L as they shared a gentle kiss, he knew something would destroy this budding romance, though it hurt him to think it.
'Please let them survive this, and whatever happens to it…' Mello thought.
Okay! You guys are great… so Imma give you a teaser!! :D
"It had been years, now, since Near had last seen L-- L, the only one he'd ever loved past a childhood crush that had ended nowhere.
He'd given everything he was to the detective, and he had died inside when he saw it…
And he vowed to avenge his lover, vowed with all his heart…He would avenge L…"
