A/N: I am really sorry for the late update! I said before that it was going to be delayed by two weeks but it was extended because I had exams. They weren't the final exams but still, they were important. I'll try to update faster but my mind is brimming with ideas for new stories and I really don't want to rush this story. Sometimes it depends on my mood too. But excuses are over now!
I nearly cried while writing this chapter *sniffle* Aw, Darwin... I only didn't cry because I knew that would hinder me in writing...
Joy's Unhappiness
Chapter 10
xxxxx Third POV xxxxx
The kingdom of Deofia was in a turmoil. Most especially in the castle.
Their beloved queen has been missing for a couple of weeks already and nobody had any time to rest.
A maid came to bring the queen's dinner to her chambers but discovered a broken door and her room an unnatural mess. She fainted on the spot.
With obvious evidence of an intruder with malicious intention, they came to the conclusion that the queen has been abducted. However, no signs of a ransom had come. No note. No message. This has lead to even more panic.
The King Herald wasn't too well off either. In fact, he was in the worst state of them all. He has started to refuse food and not one living being ever sees him anymore, but they can still sense his presence – almost like how they can sense a ghost.
People were beginning to worry that it may not last for much longer...
Arryn watched all this going on by a pond in her forest. She looked on sadly and sighed. "I suppose I'll have to do something about this. You did not want this to happen either did you, Queen Clarissa?"
xxxxx Darwin's POV xxxxx
Everyday is all the same. I wake up, eat breakfast, take history lessons, eat lunch, take political lessons, eat dinner and finally take etiquette lessons (the lessons I personally hate the most).
I'm fully aware that someday, these lessons will be useful someday when I rule the kingdom but... It was such a change from my old lifestyle.
Back then, I could go out everyday and I was free to do whatever I liked. I could practice my sword skills, visit my friends and... relax.
Being here in this castle, I could feel the tension coming from the people...
However, it's not like I'm always separated from Synal. Sometimes we meet up by chance and chat for a while. But being as busy as we both are, these moments don't ever last long.
The only time I really look forward to is my secret sword practices. I could forget everything and go back to the time when I was still training to be a knight.
The adrenaline rush passes through and I sit on the ground, muscles tired and covered in sweat. I grin to myself for a moment but then the reality hits me. And this loop goes on...
Another thing I look forward to is meeting Cat-skin.
The girl, I heard, was being worked like crazy in the beginning because the cooks didn't like to go easy on the beginners. I have no idea why they do this and why we have such harsh cooks... but Cat-skin stayed strong. Call me unfaithful to my friend if you must, but I thought maybe she would give up within the first week. Knowing how timid she was. But she had a surprising amount of inner strength. My respect for her has increased.
During the intervals that I sneak off to train, Cat-skin could sometimes be found waiting for me at the end of the slide. She would then follow me out to the clearing and watch me.
I once asked whether she had anything better to do other than watch me swing a sword up and down again and again. I mean, surely it must be very boring?
She merely shook her head and giggled softly. Which was a very unusual behaviour from her.
But it was good that she was cheering up. When I first met her, I had the feeling that she was quite traumatized from something. She never spoke unless she really needed to. I wanted to help her get over it and I guess I'm starting to succeed. Now she is capable of greeting me and respond to some questions, albeit, with short answers.
I haven't asked about who was chasing her when we first met. It's a very concerning matter and I plan on asking her at one point. But not yet. It doesn't seem like she is ready to answer them.
Still, whenever she thinks no one is watching she has a look as if she was haunted by something...
As time passed by, my private times with Cat-skin increased. My lessons were lessening and Cat-skin had less jobs to do.
We grew closer and Cat-skin has become an irreplaceable friend to me. Even so, I had suspicions about her.
Ever since the day at the festival after I saw her face, I could not think of her as an ordinary girl anymore.
How could I possibly not? Nobody can have their ears pierced unless they were able to afford any earrings... Cat-skin must have been a noble once!
That wasn't the only reason I was bothered about it though. Her face was a little dirty and pale but... Her face was the same as...
Joy...
I had lingering feelings for that girl... even though I had no chance with her since the very beginning... She doesn't like me in that way either...
Okay, maybe I was just delusional in my inner desire to see Joy. Maybe I didn't really see that... It's not possible for them to be the same person... I mean... they are so different...
I heard a knock on my door. "Prince Darwin! There is a meeting that requires your presence. Please meet up in the conference room."
"I will." I called out and I heard footsteps going away.
I got off my bed and and brushed down my clothes. What kind of meeting would need me? Am I considered educated enough to attend it now?
Wondering about these questions I walked towards the conference room.
The guards let me in and inside revealed a long wooden table. The grim atmosphere there could be sliced with a knife...
Sitting there were the King, Queen, the kingdom elders, our ambassadors and a few of the captain guards. The latter was slightly worrying because this meeting could have something to do with war...
Synal was there too but we made no eye contact.
Trying not to let my nervousness show, I sat down next to the King. I lifted my chin - not in an arrogant way but in an attempt to look confident.
It appeared that I was the last to be informed because as soon as I sat down, an elder spoke up. All eyes looked at him.
"I apologise about the abrupt meeting, so I will make this brief and to the point."
I caught him giving me a stare but his eyes flicked away quite soon afterwards. What was that about?
"The Queen of Deofia is missing."
What!?
I stood up in my seat. They all gave me blank looks. I hadn't realised that I said it out loud. I coughed awkwardly and sat back down. "Continue."
"On the morning after the last ball, she was not found anywhere. There are witnesses who say that you had spent a lot of time with the young Queen at the ball."
Uh oh. I think I can see where this is going...
The elder gave me a meaningful stare. "Fingers are being pointed at you, Your Highness."
xxxxx Catskin's POV xxxxx
"Keep stirring that stew. Don't do anything else." The cook glared at me.
I nodded obediently. He went away and I took the time to scrutinize the stew.
The aroma of lamb and onions wafted into my nose as I stirred it. Bubbles constantly popped up everywhere in the stew due to the high heat. I felt like being boiled myself underneath the furry cloak.
Ever since they found out I had some experience at cooking, my tasks varied some more. I was trusted with food more than others but I was never allowed to make an entire meal.
Still, not being able to resist, I tasted the stew when nobody was looking.
Lamb stew was one of my favourite meals, but they didn't know that. After all I'm just a poor servant girl who has never eaten meat before. During the entire time here, I was never offered any meat either.
But the reason why I tasted the stew was not because I wanted to eat something luxurious after so many days eating bread and cheese. It was because I wanted to know how the people in Fairadore made their stews.
Granted, it would probably differ from cook to cook but since they all live in Fairadore, the kingdom of trade, they would probably have a more unique choice of ingredients.
Tasting the stew, I thought about the differences from Deofia's stews. As I expected, there was a mixture of different tastes. This one is a little bit spicy. Maybe that's how they generally prefer their stews? It's quite salty too. I grimaced. The taste of salt never really appealed to me. Our meals tended to have more herbs and vegetables in it, but that was because our kingdom is well known for it's vegetation.
It could just be my personal opinion, but I think this stew need more sage. Reaching for the jar of chopped sage, I thought: What harm could a little pinch of sage do to this huge pot of stew?
After the sage sank into the depths of the broth, I continued stirring it normally like I was asked to do.
The cook returned and I stood out of the way for him to inspect the stew. He peered at it, sniffed at it and stirred it some himself. He looked at me and I looked back at him in confusion. Never appear too innocent because that just makes you even more suspicious. I learnt that from my experiences from Clarence.
He turned back to the stew. "Good, you didn't make any changes. Wash the dishes and then you're dismissed."
I nodded and got to work.
xxxxxxxxxx
My 'room' never felt safe. After closing the door, it's my instinct to lock it but this door has none. It never felt private.
Apparently, it was a storage room for cleaning supplies but it after several years, people forgot to use it. It was only recently that the previous, mouldy stuff were thrown away, and... well... they didn't know what to do with the room.
When I came, some straw was hastily shoved in to serve as a bed and it became my room.
Today, I felt really sweaty and filthy - I am still a refined woman who likes to feel clean! - and had a huge temptation to take off the fur cloak. How troublesome... I seldom took off the cloak and when was the last time I bathed? I don't want to reveal my identity...
…
Sighing, I gave in to my temptations. The cloak slid off my shoulders as I eyed the door cautiously. In the entire four weeks I've been here, nobody has ever barged in. What are the chances?
I tried to relax and laid down on the pile of straw. A small brown object rolled out of the dress pocket. I picked it up and a wave of nostalgia hit me. Well, it hasn't really been that long since I last saw it but it feels like such a long time...
The magic nutshell containing my gold dress and snowdrop...
What is going on back at Deofia? It has been so long... Strangely, I haven't been feeling homesick... Maybe it was because Darwin is here...
I realised my feelings towards Darwin a while ago. Shortly after the time when I had an urge to run after him. I know for sure that my feelings for him was not just a crush.
The stories I've been told from Mother about princesses being rescued from their knights in shining armour aren't too reliable. It seems that princesses are obliged to fall in love with their knights and marry them. It may have been Mother's situation but it's not mine.
He has saved me many times and he has always been nice to me. Probably only pity on his part but I appreciated his help a lot.
But that's not what I love about him. After all you can't really call being grateful, love. Nor can you just love someone for being heroic.
I love him for who he is. He's always trying his best and does what he can for others. He's had difficulties but he's living on courageously and still has hope. Something that I wish to have...
I enjoyed his company and he's really comfortable to be around. I felt that way at the ball too. But that night, watching his back get further and further away from me made me realise that I absolutely do not want to lose him. He was the guy who I would like to keep by my side for the rest of my life.
I reprimanded myself mentally for having such foolish and possessive thoughts. There wasn't any way that was going to happen. It would only happen in my dreams...
Besides, I don't think I'll be staying here forever.
Now that I'm starting to think of it, what am I going to do? I've just worked here and I don't even get paid for it. That's what I assumed I was supposed to do, but I've forgotten who I am.
As much as I really enjoy my life here and as much as I am dreading going back to Deofia, I'll eventually have to go back.
Furthermore, there's the whole reason why I ran away in the first place. Why were there people barging in my room that morning? How did they get in? Are they still after me? I wondered whether it was safe.
A glow from inside the magic nutshell caught my attention. I opened it up and pulled out the cause of the light. The snowdrop.
The glowing started to dim and I gasped when I saw what happened to the snowdrop.
It's previously pristine white petals were shrivelling up and yellowing.
Now if this were a normal flower, I wouldn't be surprised. But it was a snowdrop made by Arryn's magic! And it has already lasted several months!
A voice came into my head. Come back!
This voice wasn't my own. It sounded very much like Arryn's.
I eyed the wilting snowdrop with a conflicted gaze, biting my lip as I did so.
xxxxxxxxxx
The next day, I stood in front of the blue rose covered wall waiting for Darwin to pop up from the secret passageway. I wrung the bottom of the cloak in uncomfortable anxiousness.
Darwin is not usually this late... I thought, knitting my eyebrows together. Did something come up?
The object of my affections appeared but not from the chute that I expected him to. He came running towards me from the side, wearing a smart forest green suit with gold trimmings. Not the usual commoner clothing that he normally meets me with.
"Hey Cat-skin." He wasn't his usual cheery self either. He was smiling but it wasn't genuine.
"What's wrong?" I asked almost immediately.
He stopped smiling. Instead, he let out a bitter chuckle. "Am I that transparent?"
I said nothing. I wanted to prod him for an answer but does Darwin want to tell me?
He sighed. "I... I have someone I love."
His words stabbed my heart like a hunter killing his prey. So this is what rejection feels like? I lowered my head even more than I normally did, afraid that he would see the tears rolling down my cheeks. I discreetly rubbed my face in the cloak.
I promptly stopped crying. Now was not the time. What could I be thinking anyway? We could never be together, me as Cat-skin or Joy.
I should be glad for him. It would be worse if he loved me... Either way, he would have to suffer... It's great that he has fallen for some other princess. He can marry her and live in happiness.
And yet, why does he look so sad right now?
Darwin did not notice my inner misery and took my silence (wasn't I always?) as a cue to go on. "We danced once and got to know each other. I really thought we could be together... But being the fool that I am, I didn't know that she has already been taken by someone who I don't even have a chance against!"
He paused, almost choking in his own words. "Moreover, she doesn't even like it! I want to help her but... What could I... possibly do?! She only thinks of me as a friend! I'm not... important enough to her to make an impact! I've never felt so... useless!"
Towards the end, his voice trembled terribly. He squeezed his eyes shut, like he was trying not to cry.
It really broke my heart to see him like this. I reached out wanting to comfort him somehow. To stroke his hair... To hug him... But I'm not the right person to be doing that...
I withdrew my hand dolefully for a moment but instead settled for holding his hand. I gave it a light squeeze. "Don't hold them back. Let out the pain."
That was all the encouragement he needed. His tears came pouring out and he surprised me by hugging me himself. He clung to me like a child. I smiled despite myself and patted his back soothingly.
At least allow me to do this. I don't mind that I am only supporting him...
His sobs lessened and so did his grip. "Do you feel better now?"
Darwin broke off from me, suddenly feeling embarrassed. His cheeks and nose were pink and he avoided my eyes. Even so, he managed a nod.
I wanted to giggle at this adorable look of his, however, that would only embarrass him even further. So I smiled at him. "...Good."
We stood in silence as Darwin cleaned his wet face with a handkerchief. When he finished, he spoke up. "Sorry about... how uncool I was being..."
"...It's okay." To be honest, I don't care whether he was being uncool or not.
"Thank you though. I've been rather stressed about that... it was suffocating." he admitted. "I feel much better now. But the problem still isn't resolved..."
Darwin sighed. "The dance we had was misleading in other people's eyes and now I have to go back to their kingdom to clear things up. It's unfortunate but we won't be meeting for a while."
I nodded, understanding his situation. But I'll probably have to look for something to do during my breaks now...
"I'll be leaving for Deofia tomorrow morning."
My head snapped up to his at his revelation. I stared at him wide eyed and shocked.
Deofia?! But then that would mean...
"Oh right, you came from Deofia didn't you Cat-skin?" I didn't need to confirm this for him.
"You've probably realised this by now but I'll say it anyway."
I clenched my fists tightly, nails digging into my skin.
"The one I've fallen for is your very own Queen Joy." His eyes clouded in grief and I unclenched my fists.
I started tugging at his suit, not caring that I was stretching out the expensive material. He could interpret this action in any way he wants to but I didn't stop. It was now or never.
"Take me with you. To Deofia." I pleaded.
