"Inedible. Known effects include uncontrollable episodes of improptu break dancing?" Doofenshmirtz asked.
'Yup.'
"So, this Louie guy had tasted every one of these hideous monsters. Oh look! Here's his notes on the Mamuta. 'Inedible. Tastes like chicken.' How does that make any sense? I mean, if it is inedible, then wouldn't it not taste like anything at all?"
"I think the creature is made out of stone." Ferb replied.
"Then that makes even less sense! A stone beast that tastes like chicken. Uggh. That Louie guy must be some sort of a trooper to eat these odd looking things."
*Squeal.* For once I agree with this long-nosed idiot.
*Nrrrrrk.* Watch your tongue.
*Squeal.* How about you make me. (Holds up fist.)
*Nrrrrrrk.* Maybe I will. (Holds up both fists. They both meet in the middle, a cloud of dust forming and fighting noises heard.)
'Help me!' I yell, trying to pull Peter away from Perry. Doof and Ferb pull Perry back, while I struggle with Peter.
(Smiles' POV)
And all you can say is 'Hey look! It's noon!'
(Olimar's POV)
Wow. Noon already. I'd probably comment on that, if I wasn't , ya'know (Another word I picked up from Smiles), running for my life! The creature behind me, was probably one of the better creatures to look at, for the reason that it had no face! It was like a living creature, made completely of water, rolling around on stone rollers that it probably fashioned itself. I don't know what to call it yet, until I get out of the way of its rollers. It appears to ignore the pikmin completely, which is both good and bad. However, whistling one pikmin over, I take aim at his face... and toss! The pikmin hits his face, slides off, and under the stone wheels of the creature. Alright. Not doing that. I hear a series of thuds, and turn to see purple pikmin joining the small group of red pikmin. Smiles came running up the root a second later. He called all of the pikmin to him.
"No! Don't do that! You'll waste them!" I yell. That came out ruder then I wanted it too. He ignored me, and instead picked up one of his purple pikmin and aimed very carefully. He let a purple fly right behind me, slamming in front of the creature. To my surprise, the creature stopped and turned a purple color. Smiles through all of his pikmin on the rollers, which they started to attack. The creature yelled, throwing pikmin off, before resuming his hardened state. This process was completed several times, until the creature's rollers broke. The creature now hobbled around on skinny legs, trying desperately to escape the captain. However, it soon ran out of breath, and the torrent of pikmin were relentless. The creature curled up on the ground, turning his usual purple. After many screams from it, as well as arm flailing, it finally stopped... and EXPLODED! It left behind a bright purple 20 pellet for our troubles. Smiles got the rest of his flower purples, 7 to carry it, and all of the flower reds, thirty-five (which he told me was quite alot for fighting this creature.) He then took the leaves back to base, with me right behind. He went over to a tall bit of grass near my ship, and the pikmin immediately started plucking strands of it. Something huge and yellow splat on the ground, that I had just enough time to recognize as nectar, before Smiles made all of the pikmin swarm over it. They sucked it dry, and the leaves on their heads turned to flowers. Fascinating! Apparently this nectar is rich in nutrients, leading to immediate pikmin maturity. He got the rest of the purples to work on the purple pellet, as well as as many reds that would carry the Shock Absorber. He tapped his foot impatiently. "Why are you being so impatient?"
"Because." He replied. Finally, the purple pikmin had the huge pellet back to their Onion, and there were twenty new purple pikmin, ready for the day ahead. He then immediately ran out of the base, me hurrying with the rest of the reds to catch up.
"W-Where are you going?" I call, my legs starting to hurt.
"To someone in need!" He replies. In need? I'm in need! In need of a break. We run through the place where Smiles broke down the wall by levitating, and then dropping a pikmin on it. There were several bodies of full-grown bulborb corpses.
"You did all of this yourself?" I ask.
"No. They did it to themselves." He replied. He set two purple pikmin to work on a few of the full sized bulborbs, as well as a few of the smaller ones. He then ran out of the clearing through the other side. What came back was my Whimsical Radar, the ship part designed to detect other ship parts, carried by all of the purple pikmin that Smiles took with him. Then Smiles came back with a rather odd looking person draped over one shoulder.
"Wh-?" I start.
"Collect the rest of the bodies." He replied. He resumed his toting of the girl back to the ship. After commanding the Pikmin to carry the rest of the bodies, I headed back to base.
(Ady POV)
I was furious. No, I was astonished. Wait! He came back for her! Ever since coming out of this Olimar's rocket, the screen was split in two. I watched with fascination as Smiles battled for his life against the creatures of the planet. Then to horror, as Smiles left the girl to die. Then to worried when that creature that Phineas, pointed nose in a Pikmin guide, identified as a Waterwraith, a nasty tempered creature with a hatred for basically anything that moved. It will crush friend and foe alike. Seeing the rather plain creature meet its demise was rather refreshing. What I couldn't take was Phineas' continuous complaints on how 'That's not supposed to be there' and 'Whoa! That isn't correct!' We get it. Things have been changed a little bit. Anyway, Smiles was now carrying the girl on his back, heading towards the rocket. I couldn't see her very well, but she was wearing a black spacesuit, with a little dress at the end, and her skin was turning a nasty shade of yellow-green.
(Smiles POV)
"Dammit. The waterwraith took more out of me than I thought. Hang in there girlie." I ran quickly through the ruined remains of the bramble wall, heading towards the ship. I pulled, the unconcious girl into the ship, and wait impatiently for Olimar's arrival. Alright where is he? Well, might as well prepare it for him. I strip (Don't you go getting any funny ideas, pal.) her of the space suit, quite happy that she had clothes underneath. She was rather cute (Though, not my type. Might have been Ferb's, though.), in an odd goth way. She had on a deep black dress, bright, bloody-red hair, and pale white skin. Like she hasn't seen sunlight since, well, ever. With a whir, Olimar was back on the ship. He asked me to move over, and I happily oblige. He pulled out some of that miracle gauze and gets to work. Not a minute after he was done, the girl gained conciousness, looking around. I let out a sigh of relief. "Great! You're okay!"
(Ruby's POV)
Where was I? I appeared to be in an infirmary of some kind. There were two people standing over me, smiling widely. I did the first thing that any girl in her situation would do. Scream and kick. I landed several kicks on the boy in the stomach region, and a few on the man. The boy fell over instantly, cluching his stomach, while the man swayed there a few seconds, the smile frozen on his face, before falling forward on his face.
"...Oops."
It took Isabella, Buford, Ferb, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Dante, Telematus, and Perry (in mindless pet mode) to keep Adyson from destroying the device, all the while screaming her lungs out.
"They saved you, healed you, and brought you from danger! You then kick the shit out of them, and all you can say is OOPS!" She screamed.
"I'm so sorry." I say, helping my rescuers to their feet.
"Not as bad as being hit in the back of the head with a folding chair." The boy replied, dusting himself off. The man was holding his nose, trying to stop it from bleeding. "Though, I think Captain Olimar might be in a little bit of trouble."
"OW! Ou 'icked me in de 'oze."
"Eehee. Now he sounds like Buford." Baljeet cackled, earning a wedgie from the aforementioned bully.
"I'm sorry 'bout this. It appears like the machine has malfunctioned." The boy said to himself.
"'Ot machine?" Olimar asked.
"The transporter that we used to get on your ship! We were aiming for the cargo bay." The boy replied. "Oh yeah. I'm Smiles. And this guy here is Captain Olimar, adventurer extroidanare."
"I'm Ruby."
"I'm not an adventurer." Olimar replied, starting to sound normal.
"Not yet!" Smiles replied, beaming. "Anyway, right now you are on the Distant Planet, home of Pikmin! 'The good guys.' " He continued, using air quotes. "Then there are everything else." I paled even more.
"So what you're saying is-" I started.
"The entire planet is going to try to stop us from getting off it."
"That's what I thought you said. Well, at least we've got time."
"Uhhh... about that." Smiles started.
"Life functions fade in thirty days." Olimar finsihed dryly.
"Oh. Well... how much time do we have left?" I ask, trying to find something optomistic in this.
"Twenty-eight days." Olimar responded.
"Alright. How many ship parts do we have?"
"Four." Smiles replied.
"Well, then this will be easy! There are three of us, so maybe we will go three times as fast." I say, forcing the positive.
"Speaking of which, just one more ship part before we can increase the Dolphin's flying capabilities. Then we can go to the Forest Navel. Remember? That's where I found the purple onion." Olimar nodded.
"Then, we'd better get going." I say cheerfully. I stop just outside of the ship. "Wait. I need a quick instruction of what to do."
(Smiles POV)
I sigh. "You explain. I'm going to go get that ship part." Olimar started explaining what exactly we needed to do, while I called the batallion, and trekked outside of base. There was an (as of now) indestructible stone wall in the way, so going that way was not an option (which really sucked, cause now we'll have to go the long way around.), so me and the pikmin exited through the bramble gate that the purple Onion had destroyed just that morning. Wow. Was it really just that morning? It seems like ages ago.
I cautiously approach the area where the Whimsical Radar was. It was eerily quiet. I walked up to a new stone wall, a deep black, unlike the grey stone wall near base. Something wasn't right. No sheargrubs, or the two dwarf red bulborbs. It was quite unsettling. I made it all the way to the clearing, the grey stone wall that led to base was just to the right, mocking me. I set all 100 pikmin to work on the wall. I was looking off in the distance, away from the sky. We hadn't even tackled the bosses yet. They're probably changed the most. My eyes widen in horror. What if we fight a full grown Smokey Progg? As soon as the thought came, I dismissed it. The Smokey Progg grows up to become a Mamuta, the flower-loving rock-thing. I was really absorbed in my thoughts, and only just managed to call my pikmin back to my side when a giant blast of light slammed through the wall, destroying it, and still went going.
There was a happy little bell chime in my helmet. Followed by a second one. I ran over to Olimar and Ruby, who were on the other side of the grey rock wall. I helped Ruby up, holding a hand out for her, and then we both grabbed Olimar and pulled him onto the small stump that we were on. I hand over the purples to Ruby, who would probably need them the most, and I took the reds. We both hid in the tunnel in the root of the giant stump that once held half of the bramble gate. Olimar looked over the corner and gasped. I peeked out of the tunnel to where the Nova Blaster was supposed to be. And I froze at the sight.
"Hurry up!" A horridly familiar voice yelled at the two bulbears that were holding the Nova Blaster in their mouths, a squad total of twelve behind them. "I don't want that stupid Hoctatian to catch wind of this."
"Too late." Olimar replied, stepping out from behind the ruined remains of the gate.
"Alright. No matter." The familiar boy smirked. He commanded the dwarf bulbears to attack. After a moment of hesitation, the small grub-dogs charged at Olimar... only to be met with a bararge of purple pikmin, courtesy of Ruby. All but one had survived that onslaught, growling 'menacingly' at Olimar. The kid was mad, and pulled out a sword that appeared to be made of pure darkness out of his cloak, and ran at Olimar. We didn't move. We wouldn't have made it anyway. The blade went up, an came down. There was a screech of pain, as blood splattered the boy's face.
The boy's triumphant grin fell to a scowl when he realized what his blade had sunk into. He kicked the bulbear off of the blade and then turned to start once again at Olimar. This time there was a sound of metal against metal, as I held him back with my trusty knife. "Fire!" The boy commanded the two bulbears, who hadn't moved from their location in front of the gate that was in the water. The bulbears, startled, clicked the button before aiming. The bright blast struck the stump, and there was the bell sound as I assume that it hit the stone wall at base, and continued into the night.
"Dammit! You bulbears are useless!" He then turns and slices the bulbears' throats and picks up the device himself. With a flick of his free hand, Akuma went running into the night. The sun was beginning to set, and we just needed one ship part. Hmm... wait! When Akuma's blast went the first time, it destroyed two walls. I pointed my finger to the mark in the wall and followed the line to... YES! What a stroke of pure luck.
"Follow me! There is a ship part we can get yet!" I yell, calling the red pikmin to me and running to where the Extraordinary Bolt lied. It may be a useless part, but it would be the part needed to get the Dolphin to a new area. We arrive at the now blasted away black rock wall, and there was the bolt behind it. I approach with my pikmin, when I hear a mooing behind me. No! Please no! I slowly turn to see one of the weakest bosses ever. The Ranging Bloyster stared back at me. "Olimar?"
"Yeah Smiles?"
"Throw the purples at his tail." I said slowly. Olimar began to spam purples at it's tail. The creature turned to face this new threat, leaving the tail open for me to start spamming. The bloyster then turned around once more, intent on killing me, but instead died for neglecting its health. I set the reds on the Bolt, as well as a handful (Not literally!) of purples. I then returned to the spot where we left Ruby, and we saw that she was nursing the bulbear. It, to my surprise, was purring contently, with some of Olimar's miracle gauze where the stab mark was.
"Ruby. We should get rid of it." I say, trying my best to sound comforting.
"No! It's hurt!" She replied.
"I can't help feeling a bit bad. It did jump in the way of the sword for me." Olimar said, scratching the grub-dog behind the eye stalk, causing it to kick a leg and its rump to shake.
"Come on!" I said. It was a beast that ate pikmin. If we let thing back to base, it would not hesitate to kill anything it got its mouth on. But... I knew I wasn't going to win this arguement. "Fine. But as soon as it's better, it is out of here!" There were nods from the two of them. Great. Another mouth to feed. I hear the sound of the Dolphin sucking in the bolt, and the happy music of the Dolphin upgrading.
"I think I'll call you... Bulbert!" Olimar said.
"What! Great, now your becoming attatched!"
"Aw, look on the bright side Smiles. He hasn't bit anybody."
"Yet!" I reply. I walk back to base. It was nearly sunset, and I might as well turn in early. Ruby and Olimar followed close behind. I took out the harmonica Ferb gave me for my third birthday. I had been using it all day as a whistle, and I haven't even noticed. I blow a loud note on the low end, causing all of the pikmin to return to their Onions. I pull myself into the Dolphin, followed by Olimar, Ruby, and Bulbert. Olimar gave up his bed so Ruby can have it, and slept on the floor next to Bulbert, who curled up happily next to the Captain (we still had our helmets on, and we filled the ship with oxygen). I took out my A.G. ray and set up on the ceiling. It was going to be a long day tomorrow. Everyone pulled out their logs one last time before going to sleep.
"Look!" Doof shouted, causing all of the kids (who were watching) to jump in surprise. The screen started to scroll.
I have incredibly expanded my ship's flying capabilities in one day, in other words, collecting four ship parts in one day, putting me easily ahead of schedule. The pikmin helped me out a bunch. I met the stowaways, who actually aren't bad kids. One is Smiles (Wow, that kid has alot of things in his space suit. Especially a knife! Perhaps it'd be best if I slept with one eye opened? Also, he is on the ceiling! He is actually sleeping on the ceiling with the help of something he calls the Artificial Gravity Gun!) and Ruby, whose optimism is great, despite being in such a dangerous place. I have even befriended a dwarf bulbear, who took a blade to the vital organs that was meant for me. I have decided that I'll name him Bulbert! Below is the place where Smiles crash landed, called the Forest Navel. I have realized why he has named it that. It looks like a belly button! Err... Might wan't to delete that later.
Smiles Log, Day 2
I don't like Olimar's decision with keeping a bulbear as a pet. It is unreasonable. Besides this, the unwelcome sight of an unfortunately familiar face. Akuma has come to the Distant Planet. Most likely to try to free another one of his abominable Titans. I have had the displeasure of working with him once, and that is quite enough. But why has he taken Olimar's Nova Blaster? He has enough power on his own. He probably is trying to build another of those retched Limbo bombs. I can not allow this! I will take down that sick vampire if it is the last thing I do!
Dear Diary,
Wow. What a day, huh? I was freed from two nice guys named Olimar and Smiles (Is that a nickname?). I am tired. Sleep overtakes me. Perhaps I will write more tomorrow.
Love,
Ruby.
End of Day 2
Purple Pikmin: 53
Red Pikmin: 92
Ship parts: 5/30
Spotty Bulbear
Oculus Terribillis Dotticum
Grub-dog family
A midsize subspecies within the grub-dog family, the spotty bulbear's unique feeding habits set it apart from other grub-dogs. The spotty bulbear patrols a set path searching for prey, instead of passively feeding on creatures that wander into a limited territorial range. When entering bulbear habitat, it is wise to proceed with extreme caution until the bulbear's patrol path can be clearly identified.
[Louie's notes]
For an unrivaled green curry, peel away the spotty bulbear's skin, pulverize the juicy innards, and stew until curiously fragrant.
Dwarf Bulbear
Oculus Terrubillis
Grub-dog family
A grub-dog larvae in its third stage of development, this creature's body structure is nearing maturation. However, unlike mature bulbears, it has yet to claim its own patrol route, and thus is dependant upon its parent for guarding direction.
[Louie's notes]
Remove innards, stuff with sage and finely aged proscuitto, and broil until golden brown. The ultimate crowd pleasers!
Ranging Bloyster
Molluschid Predatoria
Mollusking family
This species of mollusk has shed its shell through the process of evolution. What appears as a flower-shaped protusion on its back actually functions as its gills. The ranging bloyster ensnares small animals with its sticky tentacles, reels them in, and consumes them. Observers have noted that this creature exhibits a keen interest in flashing objects. It often tries to capture these objects. Researchers and explorers equipped with flashing identification beacons should be wary when in close proximity to this dangerous predators.
[Louie's notes]
The gills are best prepared deep-fried in an herb and bread crumb batter. Also tasty poached and drenched with fine soy sauce.
Mamuta
Petra Flos
Unknown Family
The imbalanced, asymmetrical arms of the mamuta are among its most notable features. Feeding on seeds and fruit, the mamuta is known to actually sow and grow plant species. While other species have exhibited seed-burying behavior for the purpose of storage, the mamuta is the only species so far known to actually cultivate fields of plants.
[Louie's notes]
Inedible. Tastes like chicken.
Waterwraith
Amphibio Sapiens
Unknown family
All that is known about this creature stems from a few sightings deep underground. All reported sightings feature the same core set of details: a giant, viscous form with a clear, hazy sheen not unlike hard candy. One theory holds that it may be the ectoplasmic incarnation of a kind of psychic phenomenon, but as it usually is with such theories, it is very difficult to prove. All witnesses report being suddenly overcome with fear upon sighting the creature, approaching a state of panic and near insanity. In fact, every report contains an inordinate amount of extremely vague details, which has led to suspicions that exhaustion and fear have caused some simple natural phenomenon to be viewed as a living creature.
[Louie's notes]
Inedible. Known to cause mass hysteria, followed by leg spasms and internal thunderings.
Wollywog
Amphicaris Albino
Amphituber family
It is believed that juvenile wollywogs were once carried by underground current into caverns, where they thrived in the dark habitat. This troglodytic species of wollywog's coloration results from generations of cave dwelling and lack of sunlight. Comparative differences between the size and shape of this wollywog and other species are thought to be the result of natural selection at work, choosing traits better suited to life in a subterranean.
[Louie's notes]
Wollywogs are best ground up, shaped into a patty, and flame-broiled on a grill. Slap on tomato slices, lettuce, onions, ketchup, and slide the patty between a sesame-seed bun for the ultimate beast-burger experience.
Fiery Blowhog
Sus Draconus
Blowhog family
This creature expels a volatile phosphorous compound from its snout that combusts upon contact with air. This fire-breathing ability ia dependant upon the air-to-feul ratio at its mouth, catalyst reaction within the expelled compound, and purification of the compound. Thus it is highly unlikely such a complex process could cause the spontaneous explosion of a fallen blowhog. (This process is also perhaps to avoid risk of spontaneous combustion in the belly of a live specimen.) However, one should still treat a fiery blowhog with great care, even after its life functions have ceased.
[Louie's notes]
Roast this flavorful beast for several hours, letting it stew in its own succulent juices. Don't worry about overcooking this beast... it's scorch-proof.
Shearwig
Himeagea Volaris
Mandiblard family
Unusual for their genus, flying mandiblards have retained their wings. However, only the adult males of this species can fly. Females of this species spend most of their life span underground. They do emerge for a period after maturation to spawn, but never metamorphose.
[Louie's notes]
Grate this beast into a zest and whisk with sugar, cream, and chopped dark chocolate for a lusciously indulgent mousse that's a true culinary coup de grace!
Sheargrub (male)
Himeaga Mandibulosa
Mandiblard family
This specimen is a male sheargrub. Having lost both legs and wings, the male burrows into the soil and waits to ambush small creatures that pass by. This beast's mandibles can be dangerous, making creatures such as pikmin easy prey.
[Louie's notes]
Spread several specimens in the bottom of a casserole dish and layer with sliced avocado. Bake until the meat is choice and the cheese is lusciously browned.
Sheargrub (female)
Himeaga Mandibulosa
Mandiblard family
The males of this species are purple and black creatures with tapered mouths, while the females are lighter in color and lack an armored exoskeleton. As with most mandiblards, these creatures have regressed to the point where they have lost both legs and wings. They can be seen crawling around on the ground and are believed to feed on the vegetable extracts from the congealed fluids of expired pikmin.
[Louie's notes]
For an unforgettable quiche, slice this creature up and mix with four eggs, two vine-ripened tomatoes, diced zucchini, and generous handfuls of feta and swiss. Bake until crusty and golden. This beast is most flavorful if caught and cooked just after laying its eggs.
Smokey Progg
Petra Venefirous
Unknown family
The Smokey Progg is nothing more than a baby Mamuta. The baby is a very weak creature at heart, only being able to uproot the objects that the parent plants. However, to make up for its severe lack of attacks, it secrets a special perspiration that is found to contain high levels of poison, more potent then any of the creatures on Hocotate. This creature's heart is so rich in nutrients, giving enough to make 100 new pikmin! However, fighting this creature gives many a strong explorer nightmares.
[Louie's notes]
Inedible. Known side-effects are as following: Drowsiness, slight double vision, vomiting, projectile vomiting, high fever, wobbly knees, a nasty case of the sniffles, severe coughing fits, craving for anything that is still moving, burning diarrhea, internal thundering, uncontrollable eye watering, momentary loss of memories, fainting, swelling in the abdominal region, bouts of unearthly singing, followed by hideous screeching, and becoming cross-eyed for up to three straight hours.
Volatile Dweevil (cont.)
This scorching species combusts upon contact with the tongue. Only edible for by the adventurous and asbestos-tongued.
Hairy Bulborb (cont.)
Remove all of the bulborb's hair, wrap the beast in foil along with a halved lemon and place it directly on the grill. The foil should protect the carcass from scorching, and the lemon will give the meat an elegant hint of citrus.
