Authors Note: Hey guys, sorry that it took so long to get this up. Don't have much to say, after I finish this chapter I'll be taking a small break to finish with my studies, take a bit of a rest from making my brain hurt, and will post a preview of a the next Hikaru and Haruhi fan-fic that I'll be doing, since this next ten chapters will be the ending of the Just Hikaru plot. By the way a lot of you will notice this is like exactly the same format as the first chapter of Just Hikaru, there's a reason for that, and it's mostly just for character growth and what not, but if it annoys you sorry.
Oh and on a totally random note I saw across the universe and it was like the best movie ever! So go see it unless you have a weird thing against breast and symbolism.
Mmm yeap. I think that's about all that I have to say!
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The rain poured down hard that day. The priest was nearly inaudible over the harsh pounding of the droplets of rain against the metal roofs that sheltered the group of men and women. They blended in perfectly with the dreary scenery, with their thick black dresses and suits. No one dared to make a sound except for the constant speech of the holy man who was now reciting prayers in Latin. Had it been any other occasion, the language would have sounded sweet and swift with the priest's large, booming voice, but today everything in the world just seemed bland.
No emotions showed themselves during the ceremony; stone cold faces of business men watched without depression or remorse, co-workers dressed in drag had long ago been driven out of the sacred burial spot, and friends hid their faces with top hats and long veils. Not that it mattered; the rain that poured down so heavily hid any tears on their faces, and for that they were grateful.
Honey and Mori had made it to the ceremony but no eyes were upon them. Honey, standing tall watched the graveyard with dead eyes. His long blonde hair, falling gently against his ears, tickled Mori's neck as Honey leaned against him, his large hands holding onto Mori's own tightly.
Kyoya stood beside the two of them. Kyouya took off his glasses in respect and placed them in his pocket so that the word could see his sad eyes as he looked down at the tomb stone. The Priest had now moved on to saying a few words about the deceased. Tamaki flinched at every word that the man said, for he found nearly everything offensive to his dead friend; this man didn't know him! How dare he try and talk of him as though they were great pals! Tamaki's usually bright violet eyes slowly traveled to Haruhi, who had not said a word since everyone arrived.
Tamaki quickly pulled his head off of her however for he couldn't stand such a sad site- and he knew why it was she stood cold and expressionless. The girl was as solid as a statue as she stared down at the cemetery's cheapest headstone. She was attired in a soft black dress that dripped from her chest to her toes and covered every inch of her arms and legs. Next to her stood a well dressed Kaoru, his eyes staring as well, for one person was missing- and it was the person who counted most…
Unseen by anyone else's eyes stood an orange headed boy near the cemetery's fence. He peered at all of the sad faces while leaning his head against his hand. He wanted so badly to go to Haruhi and comfort her in her time of need, but silent bonds held him in his place. Haruhi flinched making Hikaru flinch as well, her pain his pain.
Suddenly she fell, her eyes dead to everyone. Kaoru rushed to her side as Kyouya attempted to pick her up, but she did not budge. She glared at the grassy ground, holding onto it for dear life as Kyouya attempted to pick her up. She hunched her back, making him drop her as she breathed dangerously. Kaoru tried to look into her eyes but she merely swung her head away.
Hikaru let out a heavy sigh.
'…let them help Haruhi…let them in…'
"We're about to lower him now mam…" The laborer whispered to Haruhi as she slowly nodded. She was holding onto something and slowly stood, holding out an old photograph. It was out of a very cheap camera and the photo had already started to fade and tear, but Haruhi knew that he would want to be buried with it. She flinched and held it over the man's grave. Her hands shook as she clenched onto the object for dear life, trying to let go.
But letting go would mean letting go of everything…
Hikaru watched helplessly as she shook and tried to put the object down upon the coffin. He sighed and jumped over the fence, breaking the bonds that had been holding him back for so long. He pushed his way through the crowd, ignoring the stares of the others as he crept up behind Haruhi, wrapping an arm around her waist and putting his head on her shoulder.
"…Let go Haruhi…" Hikaru whispered. Haruhi turned quickly, still clenching onto the photo as she stared at the boy standing behind her with wide eyes. She shook gently as he looked at her indifferently, others seeing him as cold while she saw his true pain. Haruhi started to quiver as she wavered a bit, dropping into him as she let tears she had been holding back fall while the photo fell out of her hands and into the deep earth.
It was all the same, the rain, the Earth and mud beneath him, but this time—it wasn't he who was glaring down at the coffin.
Haruhi cried softly under her breath as they lowered the coffin down into the cold ground next to an old and worn headstone. She held the hem of her dress tightly as she closed her eyes, letting her tears hit as quickly as she pleased, refusing to make a fool out of herself like she had the last time.
'Daddy- daddy! What are they doing to mommy? She won't be able to breath with all that dirt on her….'
"Blessed be this soul that travels to heaven: Our prayers are with you." The Priest finished. He gave a soft "amen" and stepped away from the freshly dug up Earth, allowing the grave diggers to throw their shovels in the dirt and fill the hole. Haruhi's hands shook more violently every time she heard the shovel's metal tip hit the soil.
'Dad…she- she has work to do! She needs to tuck us in tonight! DADDY! DADDY MAKE THEM STOP! PLEASE!'
She wanted to stop this; there was no way any of this was real. Haruhi shook as she cried to herself, not noticing the row of friends behind her, all standing solemnly, waiting for her to turn. They would not leave her; they would all stay, even if she screamed at them to leave. Hikaru stood by her side, no one daring to stop him as he put his hand on Haruhi's head and rubbed her head gently.
He waited for a shot to wake him up, after all, this was all a dream right? To teach him another lesson perhaps? Hikaru stared up at the sky, waiting for some lightning to hit him, a knife to go through his back, or a poison to take over in his veins.
But the truth was, it already had….
And this was reality….
This was real…
"…Why him…" Haruhi whispered. Her voice wasn't more than a failed attempt at speech however. The rain hid her voice very well, and even if she had been in a silent hall, she would have not been able to talk over a whisper. Hikaru felt hot tears run down his face as he rubbed them away quickly and pulled Haruhi closer to him as she sobbed into his jacket.
Yes….this was reality…not a dream…
His hand started to shake as he rubbed Haruhi's back.
"Damn hand" Hikaru muttered as it continued to shake. He refrained from biting it as Haruhi clenched onto him for dear life. He knew better than to push her away, for if he did he would have never forgiven himself, nor would Haruhi ever trust him again. Just for today he would hold her- he- he didn't want to go back on his promise but, this had never been a part of the plan.
Hikaru suddenly hated himself as he pushed Haruhi's body away from him, his own eyes wide as hers. She shook with sobs, tears streaming down her face as she looked at him in destruction from being pushed away. Hikaru dropped his hands, not believing what he had done. Tamaki, Kyouya, Kaoru, Honey, and Mori all stared at him in the utmost belief, waiting for Haruhi's reaction while she stood still.
Hikaru turned away quickly so that he wouldn't have to see such a pale and helpless face staring back at him.
An overwhelming warmness brought Hikaru out of his dark thoughts. Looking down at his hand he noticed another's intertwined within his own. Hikaru blinked, looking back quickly to see Haruhi staring back down at the grave, holding onto his hand.
Haruhi, seeing him notice her, stepped a bit closer. The long sleeve of her midnight black dress draped over their hands, causing it to be shadowed from Hikaru's view as she looked back up at him. Hikaru bit his lip as he looked down in the saddened bright brown eyes, and though they held a deep etch of depression in them, they also held fear. They shared the same fear.
Hikaru turned his head away from her, partly because he couldn't bear to see her nearly as miserable as he was, and partly because he was ashamed, ashamed of everything that had been going on.
Hikaru stared at the ground as he cursed himself out in his mind. He was weak and pathetic, and he couldn't even keep his promise to himself and to Haruhi. He had told her that he would protect her and yet here he was, resisting pushing her away for fear of her own harm. For they were both to be wed, even though neither loved their partner: The Ultimate Separation.
If only they had stopped a few moments sooner, cut off their love while it was still a crush, then maybe he would be standing next to her, picking on Tamaki, laughing with Haruhi, eating the good times that they always managed to take for granted. Maybe if he had stopped it a minute sooner, he would the only one suffering, or better yet, replaced by Kaoru. Yes, it would have been better if Haruhi had chosen him instead of Hikaru. Kaoru did nothing wrong. His voice was much sweeter, his tone happier. His face was gentler, and his actions much kinder. He didn't deserve to be in such a mess without a possibility of a savior.
Hikaru's hands started to shake again; they seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Hikaru's mind started to wander, forgetting where he was as Haruhi suddenly squeezed Hikaru's hand tightly. Haruhi whimpered out a soft sob as her knees buckled. Hikaru fell with her as she dragged him down.
"…Haruhi…you're soaked." Hikaru whispered. He didn't want to upset her any more than she was at the moment, but, that was the only sentence he could manage out. He didn't want her to get sick, especially if Hannah was planning something. Haruhi looked up at him with shaking lips as she wiped at her still crying eyes. Hikaru rubbed her head again as she continued to rub her eyes, not bothering to hide her sadness.
A year ago she would have stood cold, silently dying.
But they say love makes you cry…
"Dad!" Haruhi stuttered out. Hikaru's heart jabbed at him.
"…Come here…" Hikaru whispered as he sat down in the mud, opening his eyes slightly as the girl went into his arms, crying silently. Hikaru put his head down and into her hair, still grasping her hand tightly. Her palms had seemed so much larger when he held them last…when had she become so small?
She sniffed now, finally calming down. Hikaru just sat, his arms wrapped tightly around her, his legs creating a border around her as she cried. He didn't look back but he knew that the rest of the gang had walked to the funeral home to leave the two alone for there was complete silence except for the snapping of twigs from Haruhi's legs.
"Hikaru…?" Haruhi whispered as she stared at his chest. He looked down at her head as she looked up at him like a small child would her protector.
"Yes, Haruhi?" Hikaru asked softly. Haruhi took in deep breaths as she rubbed her now red and dry eyes. The woman calmed herself as she started to shiver. Hikaru still held her close, warming her body even though he knew that her shivering was not from the cold.
"…Hikaru…I feel sick, and I can't move…is…that ok?" Haruhi whispered to him. Hikaru flinched at the question, the same that he had asked her. He knew full well the agony that was twisting in her stomach, and all too closely what would happen if he didn't play his cards right.
"Yea, that's ok Haruhi." Hikaru whispered softly. Haruhi looked back up at him pathetically, holding onto her shoulders. Hikaru unbuttoned his jacket, placing it around her shoulders as she moved herself so that she was sitting next to him, his arm around her shoulder. He looked so cold in the rain, his eyes half closed and neutral to all the pain going on around him.
"Hikaru…can I come home with you?" Haruhi asked softly.
"No Haruhi…I'm sorry…you can't…"
And nothing else was said….
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"So how did Haruhi's dad die again?" Hikaru asked, analyzing every piece of material Kaoru could give him. Ever since he turned Haruhi away at the end of the funeral she had gone back to her normal routine with him, for nothing had really changed.
"Car accident on Lincoln, some homophobe was drunk and driving down the same street as him…purely a freak accident, could have been any guy walking down the street…just had to be him though didn't it…" Kaoru whispered angrily as the two walked down the hallway.
"You sure that he didn't plan it or no one paid him to do it or anything like that?" Hikaru asked.
"No bro, he was drunk off his ass, he's already going through trials and stuff, why what's wrong?" Kaoru asked.
"Nothing…nothing." Hikaru said shaking his head. "I'm probably just being over paranoid."
"I'll kill you!" Haruhi screamed as tears streamed down her face like a waterfall, constantly re-trying itself until she ran dry. She screamed and threw out her hands, wrapping them around Hannah's neck as she shook her violently.
"You bitch! Why?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" Haruhi yelled as she tightened her grip, making Hannah turn an odd color of blue. Though this scene was going on in the Ouran hallways, no one cared to stop them, but only whispered to one another viciously.
"Hey what's going on?" Kaoru whispered to a boy who was trying to get into the circle that shielded the twin's from a good view of the two girls. The boy looked up over the people, trying to point to Haruhi as he strained his neck.
"Haruhi's lost it. He's trying to choke Hikaru's fiancé. He's a tiny little bugger, but he's got a pretty good punch on him…" He whispered. Kaoru's eyes widened as Hikaru's hands shook. Hikaru flinched and ran quickly, shoving through the crowd as he saw the sight with his own eyes. Haruhi growled as she cried and attempted to pull at he girls hair viciously.
Hikaru snapped into action, grabbing Haruhi by the waist as she jumped up and clawed at the air, her feet and legs kicking wildly, Hikaru straining just to keep a good keep on her. Haruhi sobbed as she tried furiously to get to a rather shocked and scared Hannah standing in front of her.
"Eh?" She whispered, obviously not knowing the extent of Haruhi's anger. Haruhi, at her clueless reaction, screamed angrily and pushed herself off of Hikaru's arms, trying desperately to be set free. Flames lifted from her eyes, her hair standing on it's own in the air as she growled and went to grab the girls neck.
"I'LL KILL YOU! I SWEAR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Haruhi screamed her voice high and broken.
"LET ME GO HIKARU! I SWEAR I'LL CLAW HER FUCKING EYES OUT! LET ME GO!" Haruhi screamed once more. Finally she seemed to have given up on getting out Hikaru's death grip as she somewhat relaxed, her eyes baring holes into Hannah's heart as she breathed heavily, sobs escaping her. There was a silence before Haruhi screamed again and reached out for the girl, only to miss and sob again before falling limp in Hikaru's arms.
"Why? Why would you do this to me? I didn't do anything wrong…I gave up…I lost…why would you punish me?" Haruhi sobbed out as she covered her eyes quickly. Hikaru let her fall to her knees on the ground as she sobbed heavily, not even attempting to conceal her grief as she would have many weeks ago. Hikaru rubbed the top of her head soothingly, he himself not knowing what was eating at the girl. He glared at Hannah quickly.
"What'd you do?" He demanded. Hannah's eyes widened as she shook her head quickly, faking innocence very cleverly, or truthfully not knowing what had gotten into Haruhi's head.
"Haruhi!" A voice suddenly rang out. Kyouya was running, full speed toward the circle as he broke through and immediately got down to the girl's level, pushing Hikaru's hand away and rubbing her cheek soothingly. Haruhi looked up, her teary eyes closed as she sobbed to Kyouya and onto his arm, clutching onto his clothing. Inside Hikaru felt a jolt stop his heart.
"Come on, let's go. Why are you at school?" He asked her, for the first time, with a hint of fear in his voice. Haruhi pointed to Hannah, her hands quivering as she whispered something to Kyouya, her tears muffing her voice.
"She did it Kyouya. I know she did." Haruhi whispered as she shook. Kyouya's eyes softened as he sighed and shook his head before picking her up and holding her bridal style so that she could sobs into his arm without having to bed her neck.
"Haruhi you know that what happened was an accident." Kyouya whispered to her. Haruhi shook her head quickly, yelling at him as he nodded and rubbed her arm while she shook, finally accepting his words as she covered her face with her hands again.
"Sorry. Sorry…" Kyouya only nodded as Haruhi sobbed out the words.
"Ha-Haruhi!" Tamaki, breathless ran into the room, his bright violet eyes gleaming from behind his long blonde bangs. His hair had grown long over the year, floating gracefully on his shoulders while Kyouya's was cut short and stuck to his scalp. They looked like an unlikely, yet beautiful pair as they stood side by side, observing the young girl. Tamaki brushed against Kyouya's shoulder as he looked down at Haruhi's crying face. Kyouya flinched.
"I'll take her to the nurse. She needs to go home." Tamaki whispered as he picked her out of Kyouya's arms and held her like any good father would his child. Kyouya nodded, his eyes following Tamaki as he sighed and looked back toward the confused Hikaru and Hannah.
Tamaki rubbed Haruhi's back as she clung to him, burying her face into his shoulder. For once however she felt a strong connection with the man. Though he had always been her friend, and through most of the time she had known him, a strong love interest, ever since she had picked Hikaru there relationship had done a one-eighty. Now there relationship was unspeakable, unable to be put into words. They had both loved, and both fell, and now, they were struggling to either thrust forth with that love- or hide under its shallow mask…
"Hikaru either throw your whole self in or stay out of her life…you're only making things worse." Kyouya yelled as he turned, glaring at Hikaru as he walked off. Hikaru flinched and turned back to Hannah as she rubbed her neck.
"Crazy bitch tried to kill me!" Hannah yelled. Hikaru snapped.
He pressed her against the wall quickly as she let out a gasp of pain.
"What did you do?!" He yelled.
"M-me? I-I didn't do anything Hikaru!" She yelled breathlessly. Hikaru took in deep breaths angrily as he suddenly yelled and kicked down a decorative vase in the hallway. He watched it fall and shatter as he kicked the shards.
"H-Hikaru…" Hannah whispered.
"Where's Haley?" Kaoru suddenly asked as he looked at Hannah. Hannah looked taken a back as she looked from the furious Hikaru to Kaoru.
"I…dunno, the art room?" Hannah guessed. Kaoru's eyes widened as he suddenly burst into a run to the art section. Hannah leaned against the wall, taking in gasped breath. She had seen something that she wasn't used to, and was about to feel the sting of her bad karma. She closed her eyes whimpering as she slid down the wall.
"Oh no…"
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"Haley…" Kaoru whispered as he saw the girl sitting in the middle of the room, crying softly to herself, red paint over every inch of every canvas, wall and floor. In splatters across her face Kaoru rushed forward to make sure that she wasn't bleeding. Kaoru grabbed both of her shoulders looking into her eyes as he searched for an answer to a question he didn't even know.
Her eyes were clear for the first time since he had met her, watered and frightened she looked him dead in the eyes, whispering under her breath as she clutched to his white shirt.
"Haley?" Kaoru whispered again.
"I was trying to help him Kaoru!" Haley yelled frantically as she shivered and pulled herself in, rubbing her arms.
"Help who Haley? What happened?" Kaoru asked timidly.
"Haruhi's dad! Hannah, Hannah wanted to burn the place he works! Not lock the doors like she said, no Haley wouldn't do that to the people even if she was under Hannah's magic spell, but just to scare little weed. She wanted to scare little weed so that she wouldn't have to crush her, because Hannah doesn't want to crush her because then Pumpkin head will be mad and go to her side instead of Hannah's! She just wanted to scare little weed…but…but Haley didn't want to…so…so Haley told Haruhi's dad that…that Haruhi wanted him home right away, and that a short way was across Lincoln…..Haley….I swear Haley didn't know that that would happen!" Haley screamed throwing her hands over her head.
Kaoru watched her sadly as he sat down and stroked her hand.
"…Haley…you couldn't have known…"
"I have to break Hannah's magic spell on me! I don't want to do bad things anymore! I won't kill anymore!" Haley screamed throwing a bucket of red paint onto the floor as she yelled and hid her eyes while quivering.
"Haley you're pretty messed up aren't you…." Kaoru whispered sadly. Haley did not reply, but merely shrunk in her own little world as she cried and hid her face from the blood like substance.
Kaoru slowly unveiled her hands, making her stare at his face. She looked at him dumbly as he looked down for a few seconds, wiping his finger against the floor to get some wet paint on his face. He nodded and put some on his nose, making her involuntarily giggle.
"You ever seen a clown Haley?"
"Yea you Mr. Carrot top"
"Well I'm not scary now am I?"
"No….no…" She whispered shaking her head.
"Mr. Carrot top?"
"Yea Haley."
"You know I won't fall in love with you right?"
"Thank God."
They both stared at eachother awkwardly before laughing and letting out held breaths.
"Haley you have some weird mood changes." He commented laughing as Haley nodded slightly, rubbing the back of her head.
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Haruhi sat, reading her book, eyes dry as the world seemed to stop for a moment. Her body was relaxed, her clothes comfortable. She had been living in Kyouya's mansion for the past few months until she legally turned eighteen and was able to find a place of her own. The parents had tried to push the wedding forward but Kyouya had convinced them that Haruhi needed time to recover, though, one would wonder why she was so relaxed now.
Her hair had grown even longer than before, for from the time that her father had died to the upcoming day of graduation she had not bothered to cut it. Not many things had happened since the funeral except the occasional glance from Kaoru, or the ever so often glare from Hannah. However one large even that been occurring that Haruhi couldn't tell anyone but her pillow at night.
A sudden tap at her window made Haruhi's eyes lazily drift up.
"Hey what's the deal with locking the window?" A pumpkin headed boy asked annoying as he stood in the bushes, smiling at the girl as she smiled deviously at him and walked over to the place where her window was, unlocking it easily as he climbed through, repeating the same pattern that he had the nights before.
Haruhi giggled as he laughed and pressed against her, picking her up and spinning her round, she held onto him tightly as he tossed her on the bed and jumped beside her. She laughed as he pressed his finger to her lips telling her to hush.
"…we don't want to wake up you're fiancé now do we?" Hikaru asked with a genuine laugh. Haruhi laughed as well, stretching her arms above her head and yawning, almost forcing his eyes upon her.
"And what about you Mr. Faithful?" Haruhi teased.
"You know once we start making jokes about cheating on our family chosen fiancés with the one we should be marrying I think we've hit rock bottom." Hikaru whispered to her with a smirk. Haruhi giggled and ran her hands quickly through his hair as he dug his head down on her collar.
"Hey! This is my shirt."
"Well it's your fault you left it here"
"Do you know how cold it is running through sprinklers without any shirt?"
"Not really, it was pretty hot for me."
"Jeez you get more perverted every time I come over."
"Just shut up and kiss me you fool."
Hikaru laughed with her as he leaned down, pressing his lips against her own. His thoughts rarely traveled in these moments with Haruhi, but he would have to remember to thank Kaoru for his advise- for Hikaru had decided. It was all or nothing.
He would fly or fall with this girl.
Hand in hand.
