|A/N: Oh you guys love me now dont ya? I'll admit, this chapter is one of the major reasons I started writing this story in the first place! XD Enjoy!]
Unsaid Is Unheard
Raphael's life was shit. It was Leo's fault, like always.
He knew he was being unfair, but it didn't stop him from thinking that way. Ever since Leo left abandoned them, his life had just gotten worse. At first he had just figured he couldn't cut it as leader the way Leo did, but then, after a while, he noticed that while he had been feeling sorry for himself, the others had managed just fine. His brothers didn't need him to lead them; they did well on their own.
Which brought him to a conclusion.
The one who had needed a leader was him.
The one who had been in need of someone to follow was him, Raphael. He was the one who strayed, the one who got into trouble, the one who went out of line. He was the one who needed Leonardo.
The moment he realized this he naturally denied it all together. He? Need Leo? You can't be serious! That was ridiculous. No way.
The mixture of knowing the truth and denying it blended into the feelings of betrayal and loneliness, and Raphael let it boil under the skin, developing into hate and resentment. He could barely stand the sight of the house or his family. Everything familiar to him started to make him angry. Everything he cared about made him feel out of place. He let this go on for two weeks before he snapped out of it.
It was when he bumped into Don at school and received the news about Sidney's little fit that some of his primal familial-instincts kicked in. The additional talk with his brother's girl woke him up a bit more. Maybe he couldn't be Leo, but he was still a big brother, and HE was not about to abandon his siblings like Leo had!
Still, it was all Leo's fault that he was down. It was not just that he missed him, or that he was shocked that Leo had actually LEFT them, but something else, something he was not prepared to face.
It was Coral.
It had been such incredible timing! He was wondering if there actually was a God up there like Sidney tried to convince him of. If there was, that God must find it highly amusing to mess up his life.
Standing next to Coral's hospital bed, seeing her drugged up and wrapped in bandages, he just had to ask her.
"What the hell where ya thinking ya moron? Why'd ya have to get yerself all mangled up for? What good did it do ya?"
She looked at him (tried to, key note/ focusing with a spoonful of painkillers in your system is hard) and bit her lip. Then she looked away and sobbed.
"'Cause she took Leo away… It hurt… She made him leave… Couldn't forgive her… Hurt…"
What surprised him the most, though, was the voice in his head that suddenly screamed;
"WHY LEO? WHY HIM? I'M RIGHT HERE, DAMNIT! WHY NOT ME?"
It shocked him speechless. The fact that he was jealous because she had gotten herself beat up for LEO was something he hadn't expected. 'Cause, if he was jealous of Leo, that meant Leo had something he wanted.
For the second time that week he sat at night beside a hospital bed, realizing how easy it was to lose a person you hold dear. Mikey had made it, he was still with him and he was getting better. But, somehow, he felt like he had lost this one. He hadn't seen her in time and now he had lost her. Coral was stubborn. She was the type to wear her favorite shoes until they where only laces and soles. He sighed.
With Karai out of the picture in a very permanent way, would she go for him? Would she move in on Leo when he got back?
The thought made him furious. He left before he ended up breaking anything.
When he calmed down, he started thinking again. He was still forbidden from hitting things if he ever wanted to use his hands properly again, so he ended up in the old warehouse where he, Donnie, Casey, and Coral had build up their bikes. So far there were five of them, all functional, albeit a bit makeshift, and fast as lightning. He longingly pushed the sand sack in the corner back and forth, sorting out his thoughts.
He missed Leo. That one bit down on his pride hard, but it was true.
He needed help. Like a punch to the gut, but true. Anger management class, here I come.
He couldn't be the leader Leo was. Who wants to be as stiff as him, anyway? Raphael would do it his own way, like he did with everything else.
He needed a system, a structure, a purpose. If he kept going like he used to, he would end up killing Hun with all this built up rage. He might not like the big oaf, but damn, Hun wasn't worth becoming a murderer for.
He liked Coral. More then a friend. He liked her.
He stopped the bag.
Coral liked his brother.
He tackled the bag so hard it fell off its chain.
It was early now. About six in the morning. It would take him half an hour to get there, but he could sleep in peace there. Maybe even voice some of these thoughts out loud.
"Maybe I should just give you the key. Then I could sleep at night."
"Sorry Mrs. M…"
"Oh, don't say that, I'm just joking. Still, I would feel better knowing that you could get in even when I'm in deep sleep and can't hear you knock."
Raph smiled slightly as he followed the blind woman into the apartment. He didn't bother turning on the lights, Splinter's training running deep in him. He didn't need the lights any more then Mrs. M did. Coming into the kitchen, he picked up the creature that had jumped on his legs. He would never admit it to anyone outside this apartment, but he loved cats. He liked how they where so independent and yet so cuddly. If Raph could be any animal, he would be a cat.
God help him if Mikey ever found that out. He would never hear the end of it!
"I'll make some tea and you can tell me all about what's bothering you this time."
He sat down on the chair, placed the grey fur ball in his lap, and spilled everything, like he always did in the old woman's kitchen.
"Ya see Mrs. M, things didn't work out too well between my brother and his girlfriend…"
He thought about that conversation six months later as he watched Casey tease Coral by holding her bandana high over his head and laughing as the short girl cursed worse and worse for every jump. Her right arm was high in the air, but she didn't show any signs of pain. Eventually though, she tired and whammed her fist in his gut.
Raphael laughed as she tied it around her forehead again and sat down by the sixth bike, waving a wrench at him.
"Stop laughing or I'll come over there and rip you a new one! You sure as hell didn't help me!"
"It was just a joke, toots! No need to be so mad just cause you're short!"
"Stuff it, Case, or I'll hit you again!"
It just made the boys laugh even more and eventually she just sighed and turned up the volume on the stereo.
"If you really love her, you should tell her."
"I can't. I can't beat Leo when it comes to being the perfect boyfriend. Besides, she ain't that fickle. I'd have a bigger chance moving a mountain then changing her mind."
"Then I don't know what to do, but know that if you never tell her, she will never know. First of all, you should figure out if you are okay with that. Then decide what to tell her and what to be quiet about."
He sighed, just as deeply as he had back then. He had spilled his guts entirely around noon that day, and when he had left Mrs. M had placed her spare key in his hand. He had hugged her. In some part of his heart, he almost thought of her as a mother. She was probably the only one he could tell all those stupid little things to. Splinter was better at handling the bigger questions, like what to do in life and stuff.
"God damn it! Give me that hammer! I'm taking it apart!"
Back to reality just in time to save the bike from being demolished by the raging girl of his dreams.
"You should go home, you know! It's winter now, and they worry about where you are when you don't sleep in your own bed."
"You don't!"
Coral glared at him and unlocked the backdoor into the restaurant. It was already November and there was frost in the air. She hoped her parents had left the heat on in the apartment before they took of to that competition in Chicago.
"Of course I don't! I know you are too thickheaded to die from something so pathetic as a cold!"
"I'll just stay out here. The weather is warmer than you right now…"
Another glare and then she disappeared into the darkness inside. He followed and made sure to stomp the dirt from his boots before closing the door behind them. Coral was already busy turning on the stove and dragging food out of the fridge. He threw his jacket over one of the high chairs by the counter and sat down to watch.
The way she prepared both herself and the ingredients made him think of a samurai preparing for battle. She rolled up her sleeves, washed her hands, tied up her hair and pulled on the apron in that efficient manner that came from growing up in a kitchen. Then, it was the way she handled the cutting. He had once asked her why she bothered with her bat when she could dissect a fish in thirty seconds flat. Her only answer was a shrug and that she couldn't imagine dirtying a knife with something like thug blood.
Now he watched as the onion was reduced to tiny pieces and the peppers into thin slices, followed swiftly by the chicken.
Watching her work was something that was easy to enjoy. It was the same as watching Leo when he was going through his kata, or Donnie when he was just screwing together the last piece of his newest project. Splinter called it Zen. The place that people belonged in, where they didn't need to think, they could just be. He wondered if he ever had a look like that on his face. Like he was content. Probably not.
She fired everything in the same wok-pan, flipping it around like it was an extension of her arm. It started to smell amazing. Coral made the best curry in the world.
"Would you get me a carton of coconut milk?"
"Hm? Yeah, sure.."
Finding things in the Tetsu kitchen was a piece of cake. Coral's mom was a neat-freak, even more-so than Don. Everything was organized and alphabetized. Coconut-milk was on the second shelf, on the right. He took the carton that was already opened and placed it on the counter beside the aspiring chef. He leaned against the counter in the middle of the gigantic kitchen.
She didn't bother to measure it, just pouring it in almost haphazardly. She knew how spicy her friend liked it. What she didn't know was how intently he was looking at her back while she worked.
"Still no word from Leo?"
"Eh? No… Nothing…."
"Wonder how hard that grandfather of yours is drilling him! Must be hard if he doesn't even have time to write!"
"Yeah…"
"Still, it's almost Christmas. Bet you'll get at least a card by then."
"Mh…"
She looked at him over her shoulder. Raph hadn't mentioned Leo's name for months, at least not so that she had heard it. It was so like him not to talk about stuff like that. To him, it was easier just to avoid it all together. It hurt less. However, this was Leo, his brother. He couldn't just ignore his existance.
"I miss him too, you know."
She turned the stove off. The food was almost done, and now it just needed to simmer a bit on the after-heat and then it was do…
Her thoughts where brutally interrupted as two strong arms caught her around the waist and pulled her back with a force that made her lose her breath.
"Hey! Raph what's….?"
"Just stop talking about Leo, damn it!"
The desperation in his voice made her stop talking all together. The arms crushing her ribs were another factor.
"Just… Stop talking about him for once… I can't stand it!"
"Raph, he's your brother! You have to…!"
"I know he's my brother! That's what's pissin' me off so damn much! Why him, damn it? You belong with me!"
Her heart practically stopped. She could feel his hands tremble against her ribs, his breath, short and shallow, against her shoulder.
"What…?"
"What would you do with a guy like him? Ain't I enough?"
She sighed and leaned against his body, realizing what had his undies in a bunch.
"Why does everyone keep thinking I'm in love with Leo…?"
"Eh?"
She pulled herself free of his arms, but stayed near him as she turned to face him, locking her eyes with his.
"I know I belong with you, knucklehead. Who else would stand going out with a dumbass like you?"
He stared at her, trying to take in what she was saying. Then he smiled and put his arms back around her waist, pulling her in.
"That might be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, babe."
"Yeah, let's tell the grandkids that so they know where their odd genes comes from."
He laughed and leaned down his head a little bit, brushing his nose against hers. She grabbed him by the cheeks and pressed her lips against his. Not about to give up a battle of domination, he pushed her back against the front counter so that the kitchen utilities rattled as the kiss deepened.
He grabbed the hair on the back of her neck to get better access to her, and as a response he felt her leg rising up to wrap around his. On a reflex he grabbed it and pulled her higher up before tracing down the seam on her jeans and grab himself a handful. The second he did he almost cursed. You're making out with a girl you actually want to spend time with afterwards, not just some random hot chick at some party! Remove that hand right now!
Before he could think the thought to completion though, two hands grabbed his own butt, kinda hard, too. He broke the kiss from pure shock.
"You can't grab my ass, woman!"
She gave him a "Oh yeah, then what did I just do huh" look and squeezed a bit tighter.
"You grab mine, I'll grab yours!"
He sighed and rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed, a smile tugging at his lips.
"God damn girl, you're worse then most guys, ya know!"
She snickered and drew her hands up the small of his back, nails making fine red lines on his skin. He shuddered and grabbed her chin.
"Damn it, I'm trying to show you respect!"
She gave him a smug smile and slid up on the counter, pulling her hair loose from it's hold.
"Why? I don't intend to show you any!"
He gave up. If she was fine with him groping her, why shouldn't he? He wrapped her in his arms again as she crossed her legs behind his back, hands digging into his hair. Part of him could not believe this. It was just too much. Since this summer he had thought that he didn't stand a chance, and look at them now. Maybe he should do as he was told more often. 'Specially if the rewards were this good. Speaking of being told to do stuff…
"I honestly thought you liked him… The way you talked about him… In the hospital… Freaked me out…!"
Kissing and talking at the same time made for some muffled words, but she got the point.
"What?"
Or not.
"Talking about missing him… Not forgiving Karai for taking him away…!"
Her right shoulder still twitched at the sound of that name. Raph doubted that Coral even knew that.
"From you…! She took him away from you..!"
She kissed him hard and let go of his face. Looking into his dark eyes she smiled sadly.
"I was mad because she took him away from you. Did you see your face in the mirror the day he left? I saw it, and it broke my heart."
A feeling of relief spread through his body like fire, thawing and burning away most of the hate and resentment Leo's departure had left behind. He hugged her close and whispered against her lips.
"I was so afraid I'd lost you to him… He always got everything I wanted… I thought he got you too…!"
She grabbed his cheeks again, less understanding and more frustration in her eyes this time.
"There is something seriously wrong with you, ya know!"
"Eh? What?"
"You're in an empty house, making out with a girl on the kitchen counter, and you're thinking about your BROTHER!"
He stared blankly at her for a few seconds, then he shook his head.
"You're right! what the hell am I doing?"
Before she had a chance to reply, though, he locked lips with her again, fingers brushing against the fabric that hid her skin from their touch.
She rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. Second place was alright, especially since she lost to the best of the best. Still, she could hardly complain about the prize, could she now?
[A/N: And since I was such a good girl and posted two chapters in two days...I think you should review extra much! X3]
