Sorry! I said i'd put up a new chapter soon and then DEFFINATELY didn't. My computer decide to break on me so just recently did I get it fixed FINALLY. So here's the new chapter! It's also a little bit shorter. Reviews are welcome and loved.
†Havoc--- --- ---
Chapter
7: Violence
Rain tapped lightly against the windows in Gaara's bedroom. It was the only noise that filled the air. Gaara sat hunched over his desk, pencil in hand. With a sigh, he threw down the pencil and folded his arms over the half drawn picture, resting his head on his arms. His head was swimming with thoughts.
It was a Friday night and Gaara was sitting inside by himself. Nothing unusual about that, though. Except that he had actually been invited out tonight. Naruto said that he was going to be with friends tonight and that Gaara should join, but Gaara declined the invitation. Gaara had considered going and was going to agree, but he figured Sasuke would be there, and that's what made him decide not to tag along.
Thoughts of Sasuke had been taking over his mind. Things between them had been different ever since school started. After the first day, Sasuke rarely even came near him. Only on the occasional lunch did he show up, and during the classes Gaara had with him, he'd always pick the farthest away seats. The seats right next to the blond kid who Gaara learned was named Deidara. He had hated Gaara since the first day of school when he wouldn't give up his seat for his red-headed friend.
Gaara thought that Deidara had something to do with Sasuke's behavior. During art, Gaara would look over at Deidara and Sasuke across the room. Deidara would give a wicked grin, scooting closer to Sasuke. It was like he was dangling Sasuke in front of him. Gaara would scowl and continue his work.
All of Gaara's thoughts lately had been about Sasuke. They were about how he would pretend Gaara didn't exist, and then stare longingly across the room to where he, or Naruto and he, sat. Or about one of the few times that Sasuke had actually shown up to lunch and sat next to him, and how he had casually, accidentally, ran his hand over Gaara's leg. All of it was driving him mad.
The front door slammed and outside, an engine started. Gaara was shaken from his thoughts. Boku was leaving as he usually did on Friday nights. Nothing unusual about that either. After all, he didn't usually work on the weekends making hangovers or being drunk not an issue.
Gaara looked down at the unfinished picture on his desk. He had just been doodling absentmindedly and wasn't really aware of what he'd been drawing. When he looked down at it, it was not what he wanted to see, not the person he wanted to see. With a growl, he crumpled up the sheet of paper and tossed it at the already-overflowing-with-paper waste basket. It bounced off the edge and rolled a short distance across the floor.
Gaara's head was killing him. He rubbed his temples then traced a finger lightly over the scar on his forehead. He was surprised no one had commented on, or asked him about it yet. He supposed it was just well hidden behind his shaggy hair. It made Gaara think of the day when he found out that his "mother," though he always had his suspicions, was truly his aunt. He had then demanded the story of what had happened to his "real" mother, and the rest of his immediate family for that matter. Yasha, being the rather spineless person she had been, couldn't say no and almost instantly gave in.
Acting like the news didn't bother him, Gaara had just walked away afterwards. There was a pang of guilt that he felt for his family's death that he still carried with him. Gaara never let anyone know that, though. He acted almost as if he hadn't ever been told the information.
Standing up from the desk, Gaara stretched his arms above his head. His back was stiff so he went to relax on his bed. Gaara closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to clear his head. It didn't work, nothing seemed to. Images and memories and thoughts kept spilling into his mind. Gaara sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed. He sat for a moment rubbing his head again before rummaging through the nightstand. He pulled out and almost empty bottle of Tylenol and shook a few, more than he should have taken, pills into his hand. The bottle was then tossed back into the drawer and it was slammed closed. Gaara grabbed a partially filled glass of water from an earlier date, and with a swig of the lukewarm liquid, he swallowed the pills one at a time.
Gaara stood up and walked over to the window. It was hard for him to stay still right now. He wiped his hand over the fog-covered glass so he could see outside. The skies were dark and getting darker as night pressed on. The rain seemed to be picking up as well. Gaara wondered if the weather made his mood worse.
"Would I feel better if it was sunny and bright out?" He wondered. Gaara doubted it. He liked the rain and dark much better then clear, sunny, warm days.
Gaara pressed his hand against the window. A handprint remained after he drew his hand away. Underneath it, Gaara wrote in small letters 'Sasuke.' For a while, Gaara just stared at the name. He was about to wipe it away in disgust but stopped himself. He hesitated, fingertips almost brushing the glass the pulled his hand back. He folded his arms across his chest and walked quickly away from the window. Again Gaara retreated to his bed. He stuck his head under his pillow and eventually fell into a fitful sleep.
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A few more weeks passed and Gaara's "Sasuke Conflict" was driving him insane. On yet another Friday Gaara sat alone in his bedroom. The entire house was empty except for him. Everyone else had gone out to do something that night. Gaara shut off his stereo which had been blasting music at a rather loud level. Briskly, he made his way out of his room, down both flights of stairs, and out the front door, locking it behind him. He stuffed his house key in his pocket then folded his arms across his chest as he made his way towards town.
Gaara wasn't headed for town, though. He was heading towards the Uchiha residence. Soon enough Gaara was walking up the path that led to the front door. He rang the doorbell and could hear the muffled chimes coming from inside. Gaara stood awkwardly in front of the door, not exactly sure why he was there. He was about to leave when the door swung open. Gaara stood face to face with Sasuke who was looking as moody as he's ever been. Gaara was sure the door was going to be slammed in his face like the first time Sasuke had come to his house.
Sasuke grabbed Gaara's wrist and yanked him inside. He reached around him to shut the door, pressing his body close to Gaara's as he did. It was only for a brief momentbut still caused Gaara's heart to beat faster. Sasuke then stood with the most hateful look on his face staring at Gaara. Or at least, at first glance Gaara thought it was hate. There was another emotion behind it. Sadness, it had to be sadness.
Gaara didn't have time to say anything because in an instant, Sasuke had him slammed against the wall and was holding him around the throat the same way his brother had done to him. He then leaned in the same way Itachi had, hissing in Gaara's ear, "Go away, Gaara. Leave me alone."
Gaara reacted immediately. He grabbed Sasuke's wrist and ripped it away from his throat, his own strength surpassing Sasuke's. Sasuke looked surprised at that fact and took a few steps backwards down the main hall. He tried to remain fierce looking as Gaara advanced upon him. Gaara stopped dead in front of Sasuke, scowling at him. Sasuke balled up his fist and swung, but Gaara grabbed his wrist again and held onto it. When Sasuke tried with the other hand, the same thing happened. Gaara held both of Sasuke's arms, he could feel rage building in him. He let go of his arm and shoved Sasuke, causing him to stumble and topple to the ground. Sasuke looked almost terrified now as Gaara stepped over to him. But that's when Gaara stopped. His face fell, he was disgusted with himself. He looked down into Sasuke's terror-filled eyes. Gaara was horrified that he almost let his rage take over. He turned quickly and fled out the front door.
Each of Gaara's steps became quicker and quicker until he was running. The sound of his sneakers hitting the cement of the sidewalk filled his ears as he made his way home as quickly as possible. He arrived home to find that nobody was home yet so he unlocked the door and sprinted up to his bed room. Gaara locked the door behind him then leaned against it. He slid to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest, his face in his hands.
Long ago, Gaara had turned away from physical abuse and violence, and for more than one reason. The first reason was Boku. Boku had made it a habit to abuse Gaara. He was constantly hitting him, beating him. Gaara had never retaliated, never hit back. He just vowed that he wouldn't do the same thing. But it wasn't just because of Boku. This was decided after he took his own violent actions.
It was one day after school almost eight years ago. The son of the principle had waltzed up to him looking as cocky and arrogant as ever. The boy was a couple years older than him so Gaara wasn't too familiar with him. It was only a few days after Gaara had learned the truth about his family, apparently only a day after the boy had learned. The boy had over heard a conversation between his mother, the principle, and another faculty member about Gaara's situation.
After telling Gaara about this, the boy told him, "You're a freak, Gaara," which hadn't had much of an affect on Gaara, but the boy wasn't done yet. "Your mommy died because of you. No one loves you." And that's what set Gaara off.
Gaara immediately started beating the kid. Hit after hit with all the power Gaara could put into him. Even when they boy had fell to the ground, Gaara continued. The boy had to be taken to the hospital in the end, he was in bad condition. And that was the first time Gaara and his family had moved.
Now Gaara sat crumpled on the floor thinking about how he'd almost gone back on his word. There was a small knock at the door and Gaara glanced up at the clock. It was late; he'd been sitting there for a lot longer than he had thought. The soft knock came again. Gaara stood up and rested his hand on the doorknob. He took a deep breath then pulled open the door as if nothing was troubling him. Yasha stood before him.
"I just wanted to see if you were home. I didn't hear any music so…" Yasha trailed off. "I thought maybe you were staying over at one of your little friend's houses." Yasha hadn't ever really approached Gaara to talk to him before. Usually Gaara spoke first and those were usually the only times they talked. So Gaara hadn't expected it to be Yasha who came knocking. He had expected it to be Kankuro coming to insult him or tell him something else he did wrong, or Temari coming to deliver a message to him from one of the other family members.
Before Gaara could respond, Yasha quickly turned and quickly walked down the stairs. He stood in the doorway and listened as Yasha's bedroom door shut with a quiet click. He stood there for a moment longer then turned shutting his own door behind him. Gaara glanced at the clock again and decided he might as well sleep; he had nothing better to do. He stripped down then pulled on some sweat pants before switching of the light and crawling into bed.
Moonlight poured into Gaara's bedroom windows. He tossed and turned trying to escape the rays of light that seemed to prevent him from falling asleep. Eventually Gaara got up and circled the room, pulling the drapes closed. When he got back in bed, sleep still evaded him. Gaara constantly looked at the glowing numbers on the clock. He stuck his head under his pillow, and eventually drifted into a light sleep.
Gaara was awoken early the next morning by the sound of the phone ringing. He groaned and pulled the pillow tight over his head. He didn't know how early it was, but the sun seemed to be just peeking through the gaps in the drapes. Gaara decided to try to fall back asleep. And he did- quickly.
