Here is the last chapter you've all been waiting for. Enjoy!
Eventually, she manages to fall asleep, but I can't. I just lay there, watching my Alex sleep, wondering how I got so lucky. I have Alex Cabot in my apartment. I have Alex Cabot in my bed. I have Alex Cabot in my arms. This is a million dreams all rolled into one.
Then my thoughts turn to our future. We can work through all of our setbacks – if she lets me in. I know my Alex and I know that she hates being seen in a vulnerable position. How can I help her if she's too proud to admit she needs it?
To be fair, we've actually got farther in the last few days than I expected. We've talked about everything under the sun, shared some secrets, made beautiful love to one another, fallen asleep in each other's arms.
But she's in so much pain, more than you can see on the outside. This pain is coursing through her veins every moment, and somehow I need to staunch its flow. I've always been so good at doing that for those in need, which is why I became a police officer in the first place, but now, when it comes to the woman I love, I'm at a loss.
I just cradle her in my arms like she's a child, stroking her hair and planting intermittent kisses on her forehead, which do nothing to disturb her from her slumber. And then I understand why this means to much to her. She's never had anyone do this before, hold her and reassure her and kiss her and love her unconditionally, expecting absolutely nothing in return. No. I love Alex just because she's Alex, no strings attached. And is it too much to hope that she might feel the same way about me?
Alex stirs, startling me out of my thoughts. "Livvy?"
"Yeah, sweetie. Are you okay?"
She nods, resting her head back on my shoulder. "Just checking to make sure you were still here," she murmurs sleepily.
Pulling her closer to me, I press another kiss to her temple and assure her, "I'm not going anywhere, honey."
Closing her eyes, she smiles contentedly. "You're so good to me."
That just about breaks my heart. "You deserve it, Alex."
She snuggles closer to me. "I want to be with you, Liv," she whispers. "Always."
"Me, too," I whisper back.
She sits up, amusement playing around her lips. "You want to be with you, too?"
I laugh. "No, o pedantic one. I want to be with you." I understand that making a joke is Alex's way of relieving tension, so I don't take it personally.
She lies down again. "I'm game if you are."
"I'll be with you Alex," I pledge. "By your side through thick and through thin, happiness, hardship, sadness, the whole deal. I love you, Alex, and nothing's ever going to change that."
She gives me a watery smile. "Nothing?"
"Nothing," I tell her firmly. "Absolutely nothing."
"That's not a very fair statement to make, Detective," she says, raising an eyebrow.
I groan. "Don't call me Detective when we're in bed together, Counselor."
She laughs, but it doesn't meet her eyes. She's deadly serious now. "What if I did something bad?"
"You could never do anything bad enough to make me stop loving you," I assure her, giving her a gentle squeeze.
"But what if I did?"
"You wouldn't. You couldn't."
She sighs, turns so she's facing away from me and pushing my arms away. She crosses hers over her chest and shivers.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" I ask her as gently as I can, terrified that I've said or done something to ruin my chance with the woman of my dreams.
"Nothing. It's just . . . that's what I thought you'd say."
I try to figure out what the problem is. I told her what she wanted to hear, but it's also the truth, and it's also how I feel. There is nothing in the world that could ever make me stop loving my Alex. Nothing.
"It's true, though," I say, a bit hesitantly.
She shakes her head, sighing again and rolling father away from me, burying her head in her arms.
Tentatively, I reach out to rub her back, but she cringes and jerks away.
That hurts, and the pain is made even worse because I don't understand what I did wrong. All I want is to be with her, to love her forever and always.
Then I think of something else, a book I used to read to myself over and over when I was a child. It's really a book that mothers read to their daughters, but my mother never read to me, so I would just repeat the words to myself whenever I was upset, whenever I wanted to assure myself that I was loved. I'd say the words softly and pretend it was my mother's voice saying them, rather than my own.
"I'll love you forever, Alex," I whisper, just loudly enough for her to be able to hear. I glance at her, trying to gauge her reaction, looking for recognition. Sure enough, it's there, and she's lying perfectly still, waiting. "I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my true love you'll be."
I hold my breath for a moment, but finally she turns back to face me. I'm expecting to read amusement in her eyes, even contempt, but there is none. Only love.
Finally, she smiles and echoes, "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my true love you'll be."
Sorry if the ending kind of comes out of nowhere. I tried. I was reading that book to the kids I babysit for (it's their favorite – their mom always reads it to them before bed) and I just had this idea and changed it up a little. The book is called Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. I hope you liked the story. Please review; reviews always make my day!
