So I don't think I've written another chapter since like... Last summer? Two summers ago? But this seems to be the summer of inspiration, I feel compelled to write. I still like this story so I want to continue it. I hope someone is still around to read it... My apologies. .___.''' But hey, this chapter is "interesting." More on Sasuke's side of things...
†Havoc
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Chapter 11: Sasuke
Sasuke sat in his bedroom on his window seat, his journal spread open on his lap. It was Sunday evening and Sasuke's mind had began to wonder as he stared through the smudged glass window. He was thinking about what was to come the next day. He'd have to have to face Gaara. Sasuke looked back down to the creamy-white page of the journal and began to write.
I don't know why he's so... bipolar with me. All I've done is try to be there for him, unlike the rest of his rotten family. He tries to hide all his hurt, but he's not fooling anyone. I hate seeing him hurt, I wanna take it all away from him. Because truth is I think--
There was a sharp rap at Sasuke's door. Before he could ask who it was or give whoever it was the okay to come in, Itachi bust through his door. A cruel smirk hung on the lips of the older male as he skulked across the room towards his younger brother.
"A diary? Really? I honestly thought you couldn't get any more gay." There was venom and ice in every syllable Itachi spoke. He chuckled darkly. Itachi ripped the small leather-bound book from Sasuke and briefly scanned over the scratchy handwriting on the page. He could only assume who the entry was about. Everything about Itachi's appearance seemed to become more dark and angry. His dark eyes glared down at Sasuke, who was no longer able to look up at him.
Itachi's arms dropped to his sides, one hand still clutching the journal. "Care to finish your thought?" Itachi spat, referring to the cut-off sentence on the sat silently, staring down at the floor. "Answer me," Itachi practically hissed through clenched teeth. He bridged the short gap to his brother and pulled him up by the front of his shirt so Sasuke was now standing. He then shoved Sasuke back with hard force, knocking him into the wall, rattling a few of the hanging frames. Still gripping Sasuke's shirt, Itachi leaned in close, laughing quietly, cruelly, in the younger boy's ear. He then released Sasuke, starting to turn away. That's why Sasuke was suprised when he felt a burning pain across his cheek. At the last moment, Itachi had turned back and struck his brother. In Sasuke's moment of surprise, Itachi now shoved him to the floor.
Walking away and leaving Sasuke crumpled on the floor, Itachi cast the notebook onto the floor. "Dinner's ready," was all he said as he nonchalantly made his way out the bedroom door.
For a few moments, Sasuke couldn't move. He was biting down hard on his lip, pressing his eyes tight shut, and telling himself not to cry, there was absolutely nothing that he was doing wrong. Slowly, Sasuke opened his eyes. They happened to fall across his journal, lying facedown open on his bedroom floor. He dragged himself to his hands and knees and crawled over to it. He picked it and himself off the floor and walked back to his window seat.
Writing three last words, he closed the book, straightened himself up and headed down to the dining room for dinner.
I think I love him.
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Sasuke felt exhausted after dinner and immediately retreated to hisroom. When he closed the door behind him, making particular care to lock it behind him, his desk next to his bed caught his eye. More specifically, how the light caugh a particular piece of metal on his desk caught his eye. He slowly walked over to the desk and picked up the object. An Exacto knife he had been using on his latest project for his art class. He hesitantly put it down, his thoughts of what else it could be used for besides art were slightly scaring him.
Plopping down onto his bed, Sasuke just lie there for a while, his thoughts racing as he stared at the cieling. He then sat up when the turned back to the knife on his desk. Sasuke tried to shake the thoughts from his head. He changed into his pajamas and got ready for bed. But when he came back from brushing his teeth in the bathroom, it was as if the tool was just sitting there, taunting him. He went over once more to the desk, leaning on the back of the chair in front of it.
"If I destroy myself, there will be nothing left for Itachi." This thought pleased Sasuke. A twisted smile appeared on his face.
That night, Sasuke went to bed with blood on his arms.
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Monday morning. Both Sasuke and Gaara forced themselves to rise from their beds. Though they both dreaded the idea of school and of seeing one another, they both still had the urge to be with each other.
Sasuke's body ached as he pulled himself from the sheets, his arms burned as the shower water washed away some of the eveidence of the night before. As he stepped out of the shower and wiped away the steam from the mirror, he sighed. The cuts on his arms shone like bright beacons, at least in his eyes. "This is gonna affect my wardrobe choice," were his only thoughts. He wasn't sure whether or not he rejected his actions or not. It made him feel so good and liberated at the time. He chose not to dwell on it. He was more concerned with the bruise that had bloomed on his cheek overnight. Itachi really seemed to have a favourite spot. He sighed again and left the bathroom.
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Gaara noticed Sasuke's bruise as soon as he walked up the stairs onto the school bus that morning. He stared him down the entire way to his Sasuke chose to sit next to him, he felt no awkwardness that he thought would be there. Only concern and some anger. Sasuke wouldn't say anything, wouldn't even look at him. But he didn't pull away when Gaara snuck his hand on top of Sasuke's, lying on the seat between them. Sasuke was actually dying to feel that touch again. He thought it wouldn't happen again after the moves that had been made Friday night.
When they arrived at school, Sasuke didn't instantly disappear like he did on most day's where he had been hit the night before. Instead, he motioned for Gaara to follow him and the pushed throught the crowd of people together until the rounded the edge of the school and were in the courtyard outside the library wing of the school. They sat on one of the four benches that made a square around the statue of their school mascot in the middle. Sasuke still hadn't said a word to Gaara.
After a few moments of sittin in silence, staring at the dingy statue, Gaara thought he was going to go insane. "Look Sas--"
He never got to finish his thought. Sasuke had put on hand on either side of his face and pulled him into a kiss. Something other than silence had been what was driving Sasuke insane.
Mid lip-lock, someone cleared their throat loudly behind them. Neji walked by casually, Hinata intow, and blushing furiously, behind him. He gave the pair a good look telling Gaara, "I told you your type attracts." He chuckled, a sound as graceful as his moevements, and moved on.
Sasuke's blush was almost as red as Gaara's hair. It was part embarrassment, part anger. He was embarrassed that he hand been caught, and angered he had taken theat action to begin with. And that Neji had interrupted.
"I should go to class," Sasuke declared, standing up to leave. Gaara shook his head and grabbed for Sasuke's arm. Dull pain shot through his arm and out ofhabitual reaction, he jerked his arm away, only causing more small spike of pain to spread through it. Rather than let go, Gaara simply furrowed his brow at Sasuke.
Gaara stood up, pushing up the sleeve of Sasuke's sweatshirt. He had an idea he was going to find something he wouldn't like, but he hadn't been expecting what he actually had found. Gaara had expected bruises, damage from someone else. Not self-inflicted damage. "I knew it was too warm for long sleeves."
Sasuke bit his lip, hoping his trembling jaw wasn't very noticeable. He spun on his heels and hurried off back in the direction of the crowd. Sasuke ditched all his classes he had with Gaara that day. He "pulled a Gaara," sitting at the front of the bus on his way home from school. Sasuke was in all his classes the rest of the week, but it was as it had been earlier in the year; Sasuke ignored him completely. It still bothered Gaara, but in a different way. He was rather angry with Sasuke.
The pair didn't speak the rest of the school week; not since Gaaria's last words to Sasuke Monday morning. Then Friday evening rolled around.
