How do I live?

Chapter named after LeAnn Rimes: How Do I Live

Thanks for the nice comments guys, it means a lot. I've added a bit more description on the first chapter, nothing much – just described what they are wearing.

In case you haven't realised this just basically describes Damon's thoughts and feelings during these moments, so...the dance is gonna be added somewhere: I know a lot of people have already written about it but I don't care!! Haha!

Hope you like it. Enjoy x



"Do you Damon Salvatore, take Elena Gilbert to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, till death do you part?"

I smile lovingly at Elena, trying to build some suspense, a little drama: a wedding to remember – this was my wedding after all. The last line reminded me of all those times Elena had been in danger. Although death was no longer an obstacle for us both, so thankfully we wouldn't be parting anytime soon, I couldn't help but remember those times where Elena was in mortal danger, back when she was human: when I would do anything to save her (I still do, but now my girl is big and strong!)

***

'I pray that I will have you in my life always'

That day Elena had betrayed me, playing along with Stefan's insincere intentions to help me into the tomb hurt me. I wasn't surprised at Stefan, but Elena...

"... had me fooled"

I thought she had understood me, understood my need to get Katherine.

I tensed my jaw just as I did on that day as I remembered how I held my wrist to Elena's mouth, forcing her to drink my blood, I felt guilt, shame; but at that time I thought it was necessary. I hoped Elena would be able to forgive me for my actions.

Feeling Elena tremble against me as I threatened Stefan with her life killed me inside, to actually think that she thought I would lay a finger on her, hurt a single bone in her body. I knew killing her whilst she had my blood in her would keep her alive, but I would never do that, to know I would never hear her heart beat again; the tell-tale signs of when she was afraid...when she was aroused...

When she walked back to Stefan, I gently let her go, smelling her hair, her scent, knowing I wouldn't be this close to her again, not after what I had just did. A look of pain on my face, but looking back, I tell myself, this was necessary, I have to tell myself that or the guilt of what I did just comes flooding back. Elena had told me on countless occasions that it's all in the past, she was with me now and that was all that mattered.

When Stefan told me Elena was taken by Anna, I was slightly comforted by the fact that she had my blood in her system, a back-up plan if you may, I'd rather have her as vampire and still be in my life than not have her in my life at all. Yet, admitting I needed Elena was hard for me, I didn't want Stefan to see it as my weakness. I didn't want Stefan to know how much I cared for Elena, so, killing two birds with one stone I told him a lie I knew would hurt him...

"I mean this sincerely - I Hope Elena Dies."

I remember the look on Stefan's face – shock, then realisation that I would never change, still the same cold-hearted monster. He didn't know those words hurt me more than it hurt him; I had to force those words from my lips. There was never a second in my life where I wanted her hurt, wanted her dead. I just wanted her to be mine. I take comfort in knowing she was safe in the end, the way she came to me after Stefan had found her, the way she slowly unwrapped her scarf, not knowing just how glad I was she had come to me, knowing why I did what I did. My twisted way of protecting the ones I loved. As she slowly took of her necklace, the one barrier I had into her mind, she looked at me, expecting me to compel her to see if she was telling the truth. But I knew, she wouldn't hurt me, not again. I hoped she didn't, and she kept her promise. Now in the present, there are no secrets in our relationship. I am Elena's best friend, as she is mine.

I never compelled her, there was never any need. That one time she had betrayed was the last, and she only did that to save the ones she loved. Just like I did when Anna threatened my Elena's life; she knew exactly what buttons to push. I always said I work alone (of course I don't now since I have Elena) but before she was mine I thought I could only trust myself, I wouldn't work with Anna if my life depended on it, but when she threatened Elena, I caved. Elena was just too important a life to risk for my pride.

And Anna was right; this was like 1864 all over again. Only this time, I got the girl and I get to live happily ever after. I smiled, focusing my attention back to the present...

***

((I looked from the reverend to Elena's sparkling eyes and announced proudly – "Oh my sweet Elena, I do."))

"What are you smiling about?" Elena whispered to me.

"I'm thinking, I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

"You sure are."

Damon smiled, he's witty humour obviously rubbed off to her.

***


Ok so what you found out was Elena is now a vampire in the future...but is Stefan at the wedding?? And how did she get turned? And when was the moment they both realised they were meant for each other?? I'll try and answer these burning questions...if you like the story that is, and I can't tell if you liked it unless you tell me...

I need honest opinions, what do you think of the story, do you think it's working?

I hope you liked it ~ Kara