A/N - Sadly, these characters all belong to SM.

You guys rock! I love getting little messages that "Meant to Be" has been added to someone's favorite stories. I was afraid that if I started writing it, no one would like it.

Again… Looking for a beta.

Chapter 4

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EPOV

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FEBRUARY 22, 2002

Hey Stranger,

Guess what!!! I'M ENGAGED!!! Bet you never thought I would settle down, huh!

Love, Bella

I read and re-read the words on the screen thinking of the best reply. I wanted to tell her no. I wanted to beg her not to marry him, but I knew that wouldn't be fair. Bella deserved so much more than I could give her. I knew long ago that she was meant to have children and be a mother. I sat at my computer in my boring little apartment in the nation's capital and wept. I was so thankful that Jessica was out of the country for another few weeks, so I wouldn't have to deal with that right now. I got up to fix myself a drink even though it was only 2:00 in the afternoon. Thankful that I didn't have to work for a few days, I thought of the sleeping pill and vodka induced coma that I was about to put myself in. My reply was simple but honest:

B-

Congratulations! It is about time, I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with this guy you've told me about. I hope he knows how incredibly lucky he is. Please let him know that if he ever hurts you, I will hunt him down and kill him.

Love, Edward

I decided that before I had too much alcohol in my system I should run down to the store and get some supplies for the next few days. I knew that I should call Carlisle to "talk through" this latest setback, but I couldn't bear to listen to the sound of regret in his voice when I couldn't tell him the reason for my distress.

I stepped into the shower and memories of my B came flooding back to me. Had we followed the plan, we would be married by now and living who knows where. I never really thought very far ahead. I just assumed we would have all of those conversations and things would work out…

I was sitting with Charlie and Renee in the waiting room while they operated on her. It was, without a doubt, the most helpless feeling in the world. Carlisle had ensured me that Bella would have the best surgeon in the Olympic Peninsula in there with her, and I knew that everything should go fine, but I wanted to see her. Carlisle came in a few minutes later to tell us that her ovary had ruptured due to a cyst and that they had to remove it. He told us that it had probably been causing her quite a bit of discomfort for a while, but I couldn't remember her ever saying anything about it.

Carlisle pulled me away from Charlie and Renee, who had been artfully avoiding one another, to ask me if Bella and I were sexually active.

"Could I have done this to her?"

"No, son. And by your question, I am assuming the answer to my question is a yes. We will talk about other responsibilities regarding sex at a more appropriate time. I'm not at all surprised to hear that you two are active given the obvious intensity of your feelings for her, but I need to know if she has ever complained about pain during or after intercourse. ."

"No, she hasn't ever said a word."

"Ok, that tells me that this cyst came on pretty fast and that we need to treat her as if her other ovary is in danger as well. I know it's not an issue, but we will need to put her on birth control immediately and monitor her closely."

I had never told Bella that birth control wasn't really an issue and we had always used condoms like all teenagers do. My first thought was that if she was on birth control, I would be able to give up the condoms and really feel my girl - yes, I was a hornball.

The surgery was over, and Carlisle sent me to her room to wait for her to come out of recovery. I went to the flower shop and bought the most obnoxious bouquet of flowers and balloons that I could find, knowing they would drive Bella crazy as soon as she was able to focus on them.

Seeing her all pale in that hospital bed scared the hell out of me. As her eyes fluttered open, she smiled at me and reached for my hand. I showed her that I was still there and rubbed her hand gently. There were needles and shit hanging out of her, which was a bit weird, but I climbed into the bed as closely as I could and held her. Charlie had gone home to get Bella some clothes since we didn't expect her to be at the hospital overnight when we took her to the ER that morning. Renee had gone to get lunch and call Phil.

I didn't realize I was asleep until I heard Charlie clearing his throat.

"Relax Dad, I promise you that I don't feel up to any funny business."

Charlie chuckled a little and told Bella that she was right, he guessed he could let his guard down a bit since there were needles sticking out of her.

Bella already looked much better. The morphine machine that they had her hooked up to must have been working, because she was saying some really funny shit.

"Dad, you are not allowed to stay here tonight. This is the only chance that I have to spend the night with Edward, and you aren't going to ruin it for me!"

I was blushing for her. I knew that Bella would never say something like that to Charlie without the aid of medication.

"Bella, it just isn't appropriate for a boyfriend to spend the night with his underage girlfriend. I'm sorry but the answer is no."

"What do you think we're gonna do, Dad? Fuck like jackrabbits. Come on, Edward would pull one of my stitches or something. He's going to sleep on a cot in the corner. If you want, you could even ask the nurses to come in, oh, I don't know - every hour or so, to come check on us… Oh yeah, they do that anyway."

Knowing that Bella would be mortified when she was no longer drugged, I suggested she stop talking. She fell asleep before the conversation could continue, and I was left with uncomfortable silence. Charlie ended it by telling me it was late and he was going home. I guess Bella had won because he told me to call him if she needed anything. I climbed into the bed with her intending to sleep there, but an evil nurse came in and told me that I had to sleep on the little cot Carlisle had asked them to bring in for me.

Bella recovered for the next few days while I sat by. We did puzzles and watched movies. I brought in crossword puzzle books, but because of the Morphine, she was having a hard time focusing on a puzzle long enough to do it. One afternoon when there was no one else in the room, Bella started crying. I knew her hormones were a little off and the medicine was also causing her to be a bit emotional, so I didn't think much of it.

"Edward, will you still love me if I can't have kids?"

I felt like I had been hit in the gut. "Why would you even ask me that?"

"I heard the doctors talking about the cyst that I had being particularly aggressive and that they were going to be hard pressed to keep my other ovary in tact. If they can't, then I won't be able to have babies."

"Bella, there are always other options for people that can't have babies the normal way."

Bella began to cry, and she told me that she didn't want to think about other options. She wanted to have my babies so they would look like me. She told me that she had this life for herself already planned and that it all revolved around marrying me and having my children.

It was that day that my entire world ended.

I showered and put on jeans and a tee shirt. The fact that it was February in Washington D.C. didn't even register as I stepped out onto the sidewalk. I ran down to the corner to buy some staples: toilet paper, Advil, soda water, more vodka, Bloody Mary Mix, and Jimmy Dean Sausage biscuits ( I swear it cures a hangover). I opened the bottle of vodka as I was walking home and started drinking. I bet I looked like one of the homeless people to anyone who passed by.

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BPOV

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"Oh My God! Alice! What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you. And with my brother nonetheless."

Alice looked exactly as I remembered her looking. She still had that funky dark hair that only she could get away with. She still had that same shit-eating grin, and when she saw that she had flustered me with her question, it got even bigger.

Thankfully Edward jumped in before I had to reply.

"I asked Bella to take me around Port Angeles and show me some apartments today. I thought since she knew the area, she would be able to help me weed some out."

"So Mom and Dad were telling the truth when they said you were moving back. Really, Edward - you aren't just going to break Mom's heart again are you?"

"No Alice, I'm here for good this time. I'm done roaming the world trying to find myself or whatever it is you say I've been doing. I've taken the supervisory position with the ATTF (anti-terrorist task force), and I'll work the ports in the immediate area."

"You could have told me about it, Edward," Alice said pouting. "It sucks that everyone knows more about your life than your own sister does!"

"Don't look at me," I jumped in. "I just heard about this yesterday, and I promise you, I know nothing about Edward's life."

I wanted to change the subject because I really was trying to avoid having conversations that I knew we were going to have to have, so I asked Alice what she was doing in Port Angeles.

"Jasper just got a job as an associate professor at Peninsula College," Alice almost squealed. "I too am looking for a place to live, my dear brother."

"That's great Alice. I can't wait until you live closer, we can hang out again. Don't you have a little girl about the same age as my Leah?"

"Jane just turned three last week."

Leah had turned three about a month ago, so I was excited that she would have a friend to play with. We talked a bit more about our kids and how things have been going when Edward interrupted.

"Uh, Alice," he said tentatively, "Do you just want to come with us to look at apartments?"

"That's really sweet of you Edward, and I'm glad to see that you have gotten some of your manners back, but I don't think we are looking at the same things. I'm looking for a house to rent or maybe a condo, and unless there's a lot more about you that I don't know, it seems you would be looking for just a one bedroom flat."

"That's true," Edward said, sounding a bit relieved. "We better get going if we are going to see all the places Port Angeles has to offer before sundown." To Alice, he said, "Hey… Mom and Dad don't know that I've been in Port Angeles this weekend. They think that I am coming straight to Forks once I land. I will be there tomorrow afternoon. Will I see you guys this week?"

"You certainly will. We have LOTS to catch up on, don't we dear brother?" And then, Alice looked directly at me while she asked Edward, "So where are you staying this weekend, Edward?"

Without missing a beat, Edward replied, "Bella has been kind enough to let me stay with her. Please don't make her regret the offer."

Alice hugged me again before getting into her cute little Audi I swear the Cullen siblings and their cars… We exchanged cell phone numbers so we could set up a play date, and she said the most unexpected thing when she knew Edward couldn't hear her.

"Don't be too hard on him, but make him work for it."

"Alice, I don't know what you're talking about. Make him work for what?"

"Your love and forgiveness Bella. It's going to happen - I can sense these things. But make him understand that he was a fool."

"Alice, my life isn't there anymore. That's not even an option for me. Edward and I will be friends - no more." Even I could hear the hint of a lie in my voice.

"I'll see you soon my dear, sweet Bells. I have missed you so much and cannot wait to get together without my ooky brother hovering," she said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Bye Edward," she called as she started her car. "You have until 4:00 tomorrow to make it to Mom and Dad's so we can chat or I'm telling them that you've been shacking up with Bella this whole weekend and you didn't even call them. They'll be mad as hell that they didn't get to see her." She stuck out her tongue as she drove away, and I couldn't help but think this entire conversation was just strange.

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"Just sit tight," Edward said as he opened the door of the car. "I just need to run in and pick something up real quick."

I couldn't imagine what he was running in to pick up at a catering place, but I was still giggling so much from our last apartment visit, that I couldn't even ask him.

We had gone to the front office and asked to see the model, which we had done what seemed like a hundred times this morning. As many of the apartment managers had, this lady assumed that we would be moving into the apartment together, so she tried really hard to sell me on the walk-in closets and large Jacuzzi tub. I didn't feel like explaining again that I was just along for the ride, so I went along with her.

As we walked into the apartment that was obviously decorated by the same people that decorated every other apartment we had looked at, we heard a strange banging noise. We walked around the apartment looking at the few rooms in it, and the noise got louder. We could also hear people screaming making it obvious what they were doing next door. The apartment manager was becoming increasingly more uncomfortable, and Edward wasn't about to let this opportunity go.

"Excuse me, Miss. Could you please give us a few minutes alone? We really need to show those people what good sex really sounds like."

Mortified, the lady started stammering.

"He's joking," I said with the characteristic blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Well, kind of, he said, but the walls are really too thin for me to do the things that I plan to do with you in this apartment. I think I'm going to have to veto this one."

With that, I excused myself and told him I would wait in the car. When he came out of the leasing office, he had a grin that reminded me of my Edward. It had been a long time since I had seen him, but I remembered very clearly that he didn't grin like that towards the end of our relationship.

Edward came running back out to the car with something in his hand. I couldn't clearly see what he had from where I was, but I heard him put it in the trunk of the car. When he got in, I asked him what it was, but he just kissed my hand and said I would find out soon enough. I tried to point out the way to the next set of apartments, but Edward said he was done looking at apartments for a little while.

"Edward, you have to find a place to live. You can't stay with me while my kids are around."

I was already settling into the idea of him being around, which concerned me a bit considering he had only been around for a day. I had to make sure that he understood my boundaries, and I needed to make them clear.

"I know that B - I would never ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable as far as your family is concerned. If I have to stay with Mom and Dad while I look for a place, I can commute. Or, I could stay with Alice and Jasper if they find a place."

"Alice doesn't seem too happy with you. Edward, where are we going?"

"She's not. She thinks I'm a fuck-up, and she's right. Don't worry about where we're going, we'll be there soon."

We pulled off onto a gravel road and parked the car.

"Get out!"

"Are you kicking me out on the side of the road? I didn't think I was that bad!"

"Shut up silly girl! We have to walk from here."

"Oh! You're serious… Are you okay with leaving your car here?"

"It'll be fine. Just let me get the stuff out of the trunk."

Edward pulled a huge basket and a backpack out of the trunk. I asked if I could carry anything, but he told me to just make sure I didn't break my ankle on the small hike. We hiked for what seemed like hours (but was more like twenty minutes) through the forest. I was shocked to find that the trail led to a beautiful, open meadow. We walked out into the center, and it was incredibly warm. Edward pulled his long sleeve shirt off leaving him in just his tee shirt and jeans yummy! He pulled an oversized blanket out of the backpack and laid it on the ground. He then instructed me to sit.

The basket was filled with goodies that the catering company thought would be appropriate for a romantic picnic. Edward had apparently called them while I was talking to Alice to set things up. Since he didn't have much time, he just told them to make up a basket with wine and good lunch food. There were chicken salad sandwiches on croissants, all sorts of little snack-type foods, and two good bottles of wine. Included in the basket were cutlery, glasses, and plates. Who knew you could get catering companies to do stuff like that? I thought they were just for weddings and funerals.

We ate in silence for a few minutes and just enjoyed the meadow and the good food. My appetite had disappeared the moment I saw Lauren this morning, so I didn't eat much breakfast. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I started scarfing down all of the food he put out.

"Hungry?"

"Famished! Guess I didn't fill up this morning."

"Yeah, who the hell is Lauren and what's up with her. You looked ready to rip her throat out and she, yours."

"It's a long story, and it has to do with Jacob. Are you sure that you want to hear it?"

"No, but I think it's time we quit skating around conversations."

"Lauren was Jake's partner in crime. They coached together, which was fine at first, but it got kind of messy."

I didn't like all the time Jake spent away from Seth and I when he was coaching. It seemed like he would get home at 9:00, and within minutes, Lauren would call and he would be on the phone with her for hours. I didn't understand what they could have to talk about for that amount of time. I mean, it's track… you run around an oval, right. At first, I would sit there with my dinner going cold and wait on him to get off the phone so we could eat together since it was the only time I saw him during the day. I thought that if I stared at him long enough, he would get the hint and at least wait to call her back until after dinner.

When that didn't work, I became more obvious. I would ask him to get off the phone and call her back after dinner. He would usually just look at me and walk upstairs or outside and leave me sitting there.

I tried getting involved in the sport, which was really damned difficult considering I was asking a one year old to sit outside all day while he was crying for his daddy that he never saw anymore. Jake would just get mad at me if I let Seth near him, because then Seth didn't want to let go. I usually just left the field embarrassed because of the way Jake spoke to me in front of students and parents. I quit going after a while.

I never blamed Lauren for Jake's idiocy. I thought he just really loved the sport and coaching. I knew that Jake liked to be needed, and I had made myself a promise to never need another man, which left us at a standstill. It was only six months out of the year, right?

All hell broke loose when the team went to the state championship track meet. It was being held in Seattle, so the team would be staying overnight. I never even thought to ask Jake who he would be bunking with, I just assumed that he would be sharing a room with the two other male coaches… not so. Jake came home after winning the title talking about his weekend. I put two and two together and asked him who he had roomed with. He told me and I shut down. I wasn't, by nature, a jealous person, but I did think that was totally inappropriate.

That's about the time I started e-mailing you again. I guess I knew that you would at least be nice to me and talk to me. I never thought about the fact that I was just looking for the attention from a male that my husband wouldn't give me until I started working on my degree in counseling.

"I'm sorry that he was an ass to you. I would have hurt him if I'd have known."

"Edward, I never would have put that burden on you. I'm sure that you and Jessica fought too. It's just not something you share with your ex."

"I do understand that all too well," he said quietly.

"That's not the reason that I despise Lauren though."

After Jake promised me that he would quit coaching if it would fix our marriage, Lauren went on an all-out attack. It started slyly… She would call his cell when she knew I was at work and ask for something minor. Jake was never able to say no to anyone besides me, so of course, he would go put the mats out or set up the clock, since no one else knew how to do any of it. Before long, he was "helping out three nights a week." Three turned into four and four turned into full time coaching again, and I just got tired of fighting it.

This continued for a few years… We would fight during track season, and in the off season, we were okay. We had Leah, and I thought for sure that he was going to quit coaching. Another overnight trip came up, and Jake went - against my wishes. I'd finally had it and told him to choose. He told me that he would quit coaching for good. I had taken Leah to the doctor one day, however, and happened to drive by and see his truck out by the track. He was at the track with Lauren, who was holding my goddamned son. He had taught Seth to lie and say they were at the playground.

I was so angry that I knew it would be a bad idea to get out and yell at him in front of Seth, so I called his cell phone and told him that I had seen him and Seth at the track. I was so angry, I couldn't speak. I told him we would talk about it when he got home. That evening when they came home, he looked like an abused puppy. I told him that I still wasn't ready to talk about it, but that we would have that conversation.

Lauren, however, decided to take things into her own hands and tell people that I had called Jake ranting and raving like a lunatic. She told students and parents and teachers that I have worked with and was currently working with that I was verbally abusive in front of my children. A friend of mine, who was a parent of a student on the track team, called me later that night to inform me that Lauren got on the phone as soon as Jake left to spread lies about me all over town.

By that time, I had just finished with my Specialist degree in counseling. I was in the process of applying for jobs. I had interviewed at a school close to where Jake and Lauren worked, but the principal heard the rumors about me and wasn't "comfortable" giving the job to someone that had been rumored to verbally abuse her own family. Luckily there was another position at another school, and that principal knew me and knew better.

Edward looked pissed. "I can see now why you didn't want to give her anything to talk about."

"You actually handled her pretty well. People know Lauren for the trash she is, but it's hurtful to hear lies about yourself nonetheless."

"What did Jacob do?"

I hesitated a bit too long and Edward said, "Please tell me that he quit hanging out with her, please."

"I'm pretty sure that they still did stuff together. I realized that I couldn't control it anymore and my children needed their father more than I needed to fight that battle."

Edward looked like he was in pain. "Bella, if I'd have known you were suffering, I would have come so much sooner."

"That's a sweet sentiment, but it wouldn't have made a difference. As I said, my children needed their father."

"You're children needed to see a man that took care of his wife's needs first."

"Edward, you've met me right… My husband did not abuse me. I lived with Renee's tirades long enough to know how much that could impact Seth and Leah. My children had no idea that any of this was going on. Leah was just a baby, and Seth was still in preschool. Jake was a good dad."

Edward looked at me through those long eyelashes and said, "Wow! Guess I'm not the only one that fucked up in the marriage department."

"Nope, there are plenty more stories where that one came from."


Can you say codependent… Jake isn't such a nice guy now, huh. Do you think he cheated???

I had to bring out some of Edward's finer qualities. Remember, he works for the government, he's not good at sharing his feelings.

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