So many of you thought that Casie was pregnant.. lol. But, I'll just let you guys know that her and John are using the appropriate protection.. lol. And I hope you aren't too angry with me, but I don't foresee any cliffhangers in the near future, so that's a plus right? =D

And to dreamin'BIG, I know exactly what you mean about the quality of Randy's… certain angle of photogenic abilites.. but personally, I'm a thigh girl.. LOL! You know the saying "hate to see them go, but love to watch them leave?" well, I don't quite agree with that with Randy. I want to watch him walk at me.. I mean, we have ALL seen his thighs right? –drool- ok, back on track.. =P

There's a bit in this chapter that gets a little explicit, so I'm forwarning you.. And to quote an author of another Randy Orton story (so, fanfiction, won't let my say the name of the person I got the quote from. I've tried editing this chapter a few times, and it automatically takes the name out. But if you want to know it was, just send me a message, okay?), I am not to blame for any global warming caused by this chapter! Pahahah… Enjoy!

Chapter 18- To Have and Have Not

Lora blinked several times before the words actually settled in her mind. "Cancer?"

Casie nodded, "Cervical cancer."

"But," I was trying to reach in my head for something to cling to, some small piece of information that would tell me that this was all a huge mistake. "But the doctors would have to have run special tests to come to that conclusion, wouldn't they?"

Casie dropped her head, watching her fingers. "They have. I had a papsmear last week, and several other tests, that I really didn't know had to do with cancer. It's been years since I've had a papsmear, what with our hectic schedule here. We really don't have a routine check up. We only go to the doctor if we're sick or hurt. I never would have thought that it would be cancer."

Casie brought her gaze back up to mine, and I saw the fear in her blue eyes. And I couldn't deny the same of fear running through my veins. It froze my blood still; I couldn't even feel my heart trying to pump it throughout my body.

"How serious is it?" Randy asked. Suddenly, I felt like a horrible girlfriend, because I had totally forgotten he was even the room, much less sitting on the same bed as me. But at the same time, I was thankful for him. Because his voice seemed to be working to ask the question that I couldn't bare to utter. I watched Casie slowly face Randy, her eyes slightly wider, and wondered if she had forgotten Randy had been there as well.

"I don't know yet," she whispered. "They advised me to get a steady doctor, and not to keep hopping around. They told me that most people found it more comfortable in their home towns."

I felt my heart clinch tightly. The thought of Casie having to leave was heartbreaking. She was my friend here, and I had grown accustomed to seeing her everyday. But, even as the thought crossed my mind, I felt shame seep in. I shouldn't be thinking of myself at a time like this. Casie needed everyone she could get. But, it still didn't ease the hurt in my chest. It wouldn't feel right to be here without her.

"What does John say about this?" Randy asked softly. I knitted my brow in confusion as Casie hung her head again.

"He doesn't know yet."

I gasped. "Casie! You should be telling him this first, not us."

Casie buried her head in her hands, "I know! I just, I don't know what to say to him. He knows that something is off with me. We've talked about it. And even though he's never said it out loud, I know he thinks I'm pregnant. And up until I found out, I thought I was too. And you both know how John is; scared to death a first, then over the moon with happiness. How can I tell him that it's not what he thinks? That it's the complete opposite?"

I bit my lip to stop it from shivering. Because I did not, and I would not, want to cry in front of Casie. I couldn't blame her for not telling John yet. I would have been so frightened to break something like to Randy. To see such hurt in his eyes to tell him that not only was I not carrying his child, but I might be dying from cancer. To have to break Randy's heart like that? No thank you, I wouldn't want that kind of pressure.

"Do you want me to be there for you when you do it?" I offered, trying to help in any little way that I could.

Casie shook her head. "No, I'm going to do it. He's just on such a high right now, from winning his match; I don't want to be his candle snuffer. I'll probably wait to tell him after Raw tomorrow night. I need to go tell Vince, see what kind of deal we can work out," Casie sighed deeply, wrapping her arms around herself tightly. "God, there's so much to do. I don't know where to begin, where to start. I could be dying. Why is this such hard work?"

It startled me to see Casie this way, so unravelled from her usual laidback ways. I moved across the bed, leaving Randy's side, to sit next to Casie. I gently wrapped my arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug. I felt her rapid breathing, and tightened my grip. If she didn't calm down soon, she would hyperventilate. And Randy was no good at the moment, with his hurt shoulder, to hold her tight. So it was up to me. I had to be brave for her, even though I was scared and wanted to scream and break down on the inside.

"Casie, listen to me. We will do this together. You are not alone in this. Do not ever think that. You have me, you have John," I looked back over my shoulder, meeting Randy's eye. I didn't want to verbially commit him to something without his permission. And I felt a rush of pride when Randy gave me a short nod without the slightest pause. "And Randy. So don't give up. This is not over."

It wasn't a few minutes after that that Casie's breathing slowed to a semi-normal pace, and she pulled out of my arms. She swiped angrily at the silent tears that had betrayed her emotions, and brushed her hair out of her face. She stayed silent for a few more minutes, and I assumed she was still trying to regain her composure. Finally, Casie stood from the bed, and I mimicked her movement.

"Thank you," she said. Casie looked past my shoulder, over to Randy. "Both of you." I followed her to the door, and she turned slowly around, facing me again, her hand on the door knob. "Thank you for being there for me. I don't what I would be like without you here."

I smile, blinking back my tears. Don't cry. "I'm always here." Casie smiled, and turned the knod and disappeared behind the door.

And I felt a sudden release as the door shut. I felt like I could finally let my emotions out. I felt the tears break free, and start leaking from my eyes. Soon, they were blurring my vision, clinging to my lashses. I tried to blink, to clear my sight, but the more tears that fell, there were tears right behind them as a replacement. I was unable to move. My brain was telling my feet to move, to walk away from the door, but my feet were under some kind of rebellion, and were defying my nervous system. As my brain was still sending orders to my feet, my ears became aware of a noise. It started out as a weezing type sound, but it was getting louder. When I heard the first sob, I knew where the sound was coming from; it was me. I was crying so hard, that my body saw fit to make noises. It would have been embarrassing in a different situation; right now, I just didn't care. I was tired of being strong for a while. I needed a moment to completely breakdown.

I didn't hear the slight squeak of the bed, or the soft padding of feet on the carpet, but I did feel the strong arm as it wrapped around my chest, gripping onto my shoulder. Randy had moved from the bed, and was holding on to me, and pulling me back to his chest with his good left arm. I gripped his forearm with both hands as he buried his face in my hair. Randy stayed silent, letting me cry; something I appreciated, because he knew about my lack of a relationship with crying. When I had finally cried myself into near dehydration, I was exhausted. My eyes stung like I had been out in the desert for five days with no water. I made sure Randy was comfortable, and fell into bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.

oo

The next day was probably one of the worst in my life. Because Randy and I were traveling with Casie and John, and knowing that Casie hadn't told John yet, and that we knew what was going on; it felt like we were betraying John. Casie was trying her best to act normal, but I saw it in her eyes. The fear was there. I couldn't bear it. Even though the drive from Detroit, Michigan to Toledo, Ohio was only about an hour, I rested my head in Randy's lap. I liked doing that on car trips, because I knew he couldn't resist running his fingers through my hair. And I loved the feel of his hands in my hair. And Randy was the only light in all the dark right now.

As soon as we arrived in Toledo, Randy and I went to his psyhical therapist appointment for his shoulder. He would only need to go once, for the doctor to show us what to do on our own. I drove the rental car to the doctor's office, with the help of a GPS system, and parked the giant SUV. It was a lot different than my same Chevy Cobalt. I searched for my phone in my purse as I waited for Randy to join at the end of the car. But he surprised me by gently grasping my chin, tilting my head up to meet his gaze.

"You really don't have to do this for me," Randy said, he voice low and rough. "I don't want you wear yourself thin."

"Please Randy, don't. This is the only thing I can do. Helping you is only thing that makes me feel that I'm not completely useless right now. Just let me have this." I closed my eyes, running my hands through my hair. I felt Randy's hand slide from my face to the back of my neck.

"Look at me," he said. I sighed, opening my eyes, gazing into his. "I would never deny you anything you wanted. If you want to help me, then that's what you'll get. But don't, for one second, think that you are useless. I need you every day. I need to see you, hear you, and touch you. I'm not myself without you."

I stood there, staring at Randy. His words echoed in my head, until I soaked them in. Then the space between us became painful. I reached out and hugged him tight around the waist, feeling his hand tangle in my hair. The sound of his heart soothed my frayed nerves by mountainous measures. I pulled back only to place a hard kiss on Randy's lips. The knot in my chest loosened considerably, almost as if it was melting away. Sure, I knew it was still there, and I knew it would come back with a vengenence later, but right now with Randy, I wouldn't worry about it. I broke the kiss and backed away. I wanted to say something, but I didn't have anything worth enough to combat what he just said. However, the good thing with Randy was, most of the time, actions spoke louder than words. The kiss would have to suffice for right now, until I thought of something on the same level of wonderful.

Instead, I hooked his left arm with my right. "C'mon. We don't want to be late."

The therapist showed Randy several arm stretches and rotations that were really no big news, even to me. Some of the arm rotations were things that little kids was forced to do in elementary gym class. The ones that I was invovled in, I didn't like at all. They all surrounded around pushing or pulling on Randy's arm, and I could either hear or see his pain. Like one in particular, where Randy had to raise his arm, and I stood behind him, with my left hand on his shoulder, and my right hand on his arm, slowly stretching it backwards. I could tell that Randy was trying to man-up and ride out the pain, but I saw the tick in his muscle under the skin of his clenched jaw. I was even more horrified when I was told that I had to practically torture my boyfriend three to four times a day. A fact that was barely comforted by the gentle squeeze of Randy's hand to mine that was held in his own.

oo

My day was proving to only get worse. After Randy and I returned to the hotel and checked in, we worked on his arm. Which only darkened my mood, because hearing him grunt in pain, caused by me, was not something that brought sunshine and blue skies. The only thing that vexed my feelings in the slightest was fixing him an ice pack and grabbing the bottle of Aleve from my purse. I began to doubt my resovle on my ability to put him through that four times a day. During my internal battle of calling myself every insulting name I had ever heard, there was a knock at the door. I sighed and shuffled to answer it, only to be greeted by John. I was instantly on guard. My heart picked up speed, and I just knew that I had It was me! guilty expression on my face.

"Hi," I barely managed to squeak out. I really needed to work on my acting skills. I moved aside to let him in the room. I cast a terrified glance at Randy, and I was just able to catch his shake of head, telling me to calm down.

"What are you guys up to? Did I finally interrupt something?" John laughed. Even though my heart was pounding in my throat and fear was seeping through my limbs, I was still aware of John's words. And I felt the small blush creep up into my cheeks, staining my face a pale pink.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Randy retorted. "You're just upset and jealous that you're realizing that you finally lost me." It amazed me how Randy could act so normal. I was nearly having a panic attack in my corner, but he was slinging jokes around with John as if he knew nothing, as if he wasn't in the room last night. But wasn't that his job. To act?

"I cry myself to sleep every night," John said with a smirk. "I was stopping by to let you know that you don't have a match tonight, since you missed the meeting this morning, because of your appointment. Dave's quitting tonight as well. That's how you are qualifying for Fatal Four Way, the new Pay-Per-View for June. It was going to be against Dave, but he's going to publically quit, automatically qualifying you for a spot. And Stephen defeats Mark Henry for a spot."

"Who's the other one?" I asked, trying my hand at acting normal. Apparently I wasn't as good as Randy, because he shot me a warning glance. I didn't notice how much my voice was wavering. I decided then I would just keep my mouth shut.

"Well, the main event for the night is going to me vs Chris Jericho, vs Edge. And Edge will win. Which is another reason why I'm here. I know you're in some pain Randy, but Vince needs you, just for an appearance tonight. After Edge gets the pin on Jericho, Stephen will come out, just to make his presence known. And then you'll be doing the same, following him. It will be a good photo-op, or so says Vince."

Randy nodded in agreement, and John changed the subject, and they started laughing about something that I had no clue about. And I let go of a breath that I didn't know I had been holding. Maybe John wasn't here for anything other than to just see his friends and tell us about the meeting. But of course, I couldn't have been so lucky. When there was pause in their conversation, John turned to me, giving me a weird look.

"Can I talk to you?" I felt the fear grip my heart again painfully. I watched as John looked back to Randy. "Alone?"

Oh no. I didn't want to be put in this situation. I wouldn't tell him about Casie, but it wasn't my place, and I wouldn't betray her like that, but John was also my best friend. I didn't want to lie to him either. I didn't want to feel like I was betraying him. I had no clue how I had gotten into this mess. But I had to figure a way out. I nodded softly towards Randy, and I watched as my only allie in this walked into the bathroom, taking his warmth with him.

"I know you know something's not right with Casie," John began. "And she won't talk to me about it." He stopped, cutting his eyes away from mine. I waited for him to regroup, to gather his thoughts. "I'm just worried about her. She's pushing me away."

I shook my head. "She's not pushing you away."

"Then what is it? What's so horrible that she couldn't just tell me?" John said, throwing his arms up in frustration. I blinked rapidly, pushing my tears back. This was definitately not the time for that. But one thing I knew, was that I couldn't lie to those tormented blue eyes. I didn't have it in me.

"Be patient with her. But, you shouldn't be talking to me about this. Casie is the one you should be talking too. But let her come to you."

John's face took on a sudden grave and solemn look. "Do I need to be concerned?"

Again, I couldn't lie, not to him. But I didn't have all the facts. "I don't know."

I watched as John composed himself. It was eerie that his girlfriend was in Randy and mine's hotel room, trying to maintain their cool. Slowly, he stood up from the bed, straitening his ballcap. He smiled softly at me, but I saw the storm clouds in his eyes. I could feel my heart breaking all over again.

"Thank you, for not lying to me at least," John said, turning away from me to open the door and left room. I was left speechless in his wake. I sighed heavily, and walked back to the bed, flopping down on my stomach. I didn't know when Randy had left the bathroom, but I felt the bed descend on one side, and his hand start rubbing circles on my back.

"I don't know how much more of this I can stand," I mumbled into the pillow. Randy didn't say anything, just, increased the pressure of his touch, trying to ease my tension.

oo

I was actually glad to be in my titantron room. To have some normal work that reminded me of a normal time where I didn't have to hurt my boyfriend with arm stretches, or worrying about betraying my two best friends, or being scared to death for Casie's health was really a nice change of pace. And I knew that the evening was going to be the highlight of my day, because I was going to be spending it with Randy. Though I told him he didn't have too, Randy insisted on keeping me company. And we always had so much fun when we got to watch the show together.

Raw still had about fourty minutes before it went on air, and I was already finished with my prework. I spun around in my seat, and faced Randy. I kicked off my shoes and placed my feet in his lap, something that he started, but I have grown accustomed too. Randy took his cue, and began to softly rub up and down my barefoot, across my ankle and up my calf. I was suddenly thankful for choosing the silky yellow-flower patteren summer dress for attire. I was so wrapped up in the feel of Randy's hands caressing my feet that I didn't hear open behind him. I looked over to see Casie standing there, a small smirk on her face, and I was instantly pulled from my stupor, and removed my legs from his reach.

"Hey," I said, finding my shoes, slipping them on. I wanted to elbow Randy to wipe the guilty smirk off of his face.

"I'm going to pretend like I didn't see anything," Casie joked. I rolled my eyes at her. I knew what she was trying to do. Pretend like everything was okay. And if that's what she wanted, then that was fine with me. I watched as she shuffled her feet, and played with her hands. She was trying to say something. "Did you know that John had a tooth knocked out yesterday?"

I gasped. "No, I didn't."

Casie nodded. "And he's going to go to the dentist tomorrow and have it fixed. And it's not going to be fun for him. I don't think tonight is the right night to tell him, when he's going to have to go through that."

I sighed. "No time is the right time to tell somebody something like that. But, Casie, you have to tell him."

"But, why tonight?"

"John came to me today," I said, watching her, as she froze, meeting my gaze.

"He what?" She asked in a whisper.

"John came to me, asking about you. I didn't tell him anything, but I didn't lie either. I can't lie to him. He's worried about you Casie. I don't know what to tell him. You are the only one that needs to tell him."

I watched Casie bow her head, and sigh. "I know. Okay, I'll tell him tonight." I watched her turn around and walk back through the door. I ran my fingers through my hair, closing my eyes. I heard the door click shut and the soft turn of metal as it locked softly. I peeked through my lids and saw Randy standing at the door.

"What are you doing?" I asked. He walked over to me slowly, and wrapped his left arm around me.

He never said anything. He just lowered his face to mine and captured my lips. I was caught off guard momentarily. But as I felt the knot in my chest melt away, as it always does when Randy is around, I closed my eyes, and wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him as close to me as possible. He traced his tongue along my bottom lip, requesting permission that I quickly granted, as he parted my lips and his tongue hungrily entered my mouth. I moaned happily into his mouth, and hooked one of my legs around his waist, to get even closer to him. Randy's hand left my waist, and I almost complained, until I felt it return on my knee that I had placed around him. The only thing that was keeping me to him was the hard grip I had around his neck. Randy continued the passionate assault on my lips, only coming up for air, as I became aware of his fingers caressing and squeezing their way up my knee to my thigh. My breathing was ragged now, and slightly embarrassing, as Randy started to push aside the material of my dress in pursuit of more flesh. My heart was pounding so heart, I thought for sure that it might explode. My eyes popped open when he reached the lacy fabric of my panties.

"Randy," I panted, "I don't think that… this is right time for sex."

Randy smirked down at me. "Who said anything about that?"

My breath caught in my throat. I could still feel his hand on my inner thigh, as he carassed and squeezing at the sensitive flesh, his fingers sending shockwaves of heat up and down my spine. I knew from where he was that he knew what I was feeling. He could feel the heat I was radiating. Randy knew what he could do to me.

"You're taking care of too many people. John, Casie… me. Let me take care of you," Randy whispered in my ear, his voice taking on an all new level of animalistic roughness that nearly had me caving right there.

"But," I was grasping at straws here. "You're hurt." Finally, something I could hold on too.

"There's something that I've never told you Lora," Randy said, placing his lips on my ear, "I'm ambidextrous."

My knees nearly buckled, and I had to cling tighter to Randy so that I wouldn't crash to the floor. Somehow, even without the help of one arm, Randy managed to pick me pick and carry me across the room, where a simple table had been set up. Nothing but papers was on it, detailing the night events. It seemd Randy was displeased with them, and swiped them all off, and replaced them with me. He then moved to stand between my legs, leaning over me for another rain of breath-taking kisses.

"Please," Randy said, against mouth. "Let me show you. Let me help you. I want to take of you." He didn't give me time to answer before he captured my mouth again. I could feel his hand sliding up my thigh. Passion and lust clouded my mind. All I knew was that I wanted Randy as close to me as possible. "Please."

I nodded against him, not trusting him voice, and I didn't mistake the low groan that slipped from his lips. The hand that was on my thigh picked up pace and soon was greeted by a barrier of lacy material. I broke away from Randy with an intake of sharp air as his fingers hooked around the side of my panties. Releasing him with one arm, I braced myself on the table, lifting my hips an inch or two to allow him pull. Randy was determined to do this slow, and he barely inched the down my legs, making me watch. His hand guided slowly back up my leg, and I forgot how to breathe. He looked me in the eye, as if to make sure this was still okay, and if he were to stop now, I would probably self-combust. I gasped softly when I felt his warm hand reach me. I heard him groan in satisfaction. He was enjoying this, just as much as I was. I could no longer concentrate on anything else, so I buried my head into Randy's shoulder, pulling him closer, as his warm hand cupped me softly.

"Randy," I moaned softly into his neck as slipped his first finger into me slowly. Randy growled at the sound of his name slipping from my lips, and delved deeper within me. I felt my eyes starting to roll back into my head. I couldn't remember the last time anything had felt this way. Something this amazing was bound to be illegal. The faster Randy moved his hand, the hotter my body became. I whimpered in pleasure, and begged Randy not to stop. Everytime I moaned his name, he would pick up pace. I could feel my body on the verge of peeking, and so could Randy. I closed my eyes as my body exploded. My muscles seized and locked up as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over me. I couldn't tell you how long I sat there, in Randy's arms, being held captive by my pleasure, but you wouldn't hear me complaining.

Finally, I collasped against Randy, panting softly. All I wanted was to just stay in his arms; holding on to him, but life wouldn't allow it. I had a job to do; we both had jobs to do. I leaned back, looking him in the eye. I was surprised when the blush I was expecting didn't show up. Randy looked down at me, passion was still evident in his eyes. I could tell that if was to have his way, that he would continue what was not allowed right now.

"That," Randy said, his voice husky from emotion, "is exactly what I've been trying to tell you. It doesn't have to be a chore for you."

"Point proven," I smiled softly, lightly brushing my lips over his, before hopping off the table to get back to work.

A/N

I know, not such a happy chapter at first, but it ended rather steamy, don't you think? Well, I do! Lol I have one more chapter to write before this Monday's Raw and I should be caught up. Yay! I know yall hate waiting! REVIEW PLEASE!

Eisac Namhort, Duchan Mandic, Christina89, JoolR, Dreamin'BIG, AshleyBabe86, SuperStar89, Viper-Desi, KimmieCena, Xandman216, Thiala, Barnsley Gal 09, roknpstergrl and miamitravel for the reviews! Like I keep saying, you are my fanbase! I love your comments!